Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

IllinoisLady

There's only one form of security we can attain during our lives. It's inner security--the kind that comes from courage, experience, and the ability and the willingness to learn, to grow, to attempt the unknown. Security isn't what the wise person looks for; it's opportunity. And once we begin looking for that, we find it on every side. You can measure opportunity with the same yardstick that measures the risk involved. They go together. -Earl Nightingale

Scottea

As a child in 1956 I was a test patient for near total spinal fusion thanks to confusion about was the rotating and curving of my spine idiopathic scoliosis or polio and was encased in plaster and steel from neck to pelvis and learned to recite Digby Wolfe's "Here's To The Kids Who Are Different" when I was older as it reflects my thoughts on being different, especially as a child encased in plaster and steel.

Then in 1993 I had a bilateral mastectomy thanks to two small cancerous nodes in the left breast and the possibility of "later" having to have the right taken. I opted for no reconstruction as in summer I could wear string tops and not worry about being arrested. Thanks to tamox I gained a lot of weight which was a bother till I got a border collie - I have been able to not only shed what I gained but even drop a few extra pounds due to the walks (about 5 miles a day done in 5 walks) and 2 one hour sessions of outside play time. I do self manual lymph drainage massage twice a day and live life to the full (family-n-friends say I should spell that fool as I do some fool-hearty things but I think you gotta live and not merely exist). .

Ever stopped and tried to add up all the labels society wants to put on those of us over 60 without taking into account those who have had medical histories? Bring on Gloria Gaynor belting out "I Will Survive" as well as Helen Reddy "I Am Woman". I also tend to look at the use of bc as for before cancer not for breast cancer and pc as for post-cancer and not politically correct. You all stay safe and enjoy your 4th of July - our 4th has been cold and wet (so the house smells of a "Leg of Lamb All Black" (a boned leg of lamb stuffed with a mushroom and onion stuffing and roasting in beer - the All Blacks are our national rugby team) roasting and a spiced apple pie baking with a beef shin bone warming by the heater with a border collie making sure it does not "go missing".

Wren44

Welcome to our group. It sounds like you're doing just what you want, which is great. I'm sure the Border Collie would herd you on the walks if given half a chance. We had a Border Collie mix who herded the neighbor's sheep back and forth along our back fence.

ChiSandy

Kudos to you, Cath, for the perspective you gained from your childhood ordeal, which carried you through to coping with breast cancer and enjoying the precious gift of recovery & thriving! (Ironically, in 1993 lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy was considered "reckless" by at least half the breast cancer surgical community--surgeons who performed it were derided as "cowboys." And mastectomies routinely used to take all the lymph nodes).

How times have changed! These days, SNB is standard-of-care for most early-stage cancers, not just breast. As soon as I learned in 2015 my tumor was Stage I (eventually IA, no nodes), ER+/PR+HER2- and met with my surgeon who showed me comparative survival & recurrence stats not just by numbers & line graphs but by "people charts," I knew I would opt for lumpectomy. It was a choice that would likely not have been offered two decades earlier (and only a decade earlier chemo was practically a given). I never had the desire to wear string tops or bikinis--I had one during pregnancy because it was the only kind of suit that would fit. And twenty years earlier, it would have been tamox, period--aromatase inhibitors were still not in general use. I gained 20 lbs. on letrozole--but now that I'm on a doctor-ordered near-keto diet and wearing Invisalign braces (which have to be removed for eating, followed by brushing & flossing, so snacking is a pain in the butt), I am down 22 lbs.--2 lbs. below my weight at diagnosis.

(No border collie for me, though--I'm a senior citizen night-owl lifelong city kid living in a city with brutal winters, and dogs' bladders don't give a rip how cold or snowy it is nor how late their humans want to sleep. Kitties are enough work, what with trying to suss out feeding schedules, sifting litterboxes, and keeping them from killing each other. But oh, those snuggles & purrs)!

IllinoisLady

Scottea welcome to you. Sounds like a good fit around here. I have a couple of dogs and a few cats -- but long walks don't happen much any more. Even then we would have to go to the Rec Center. Hot and muggy here now though earlier spring was nearly perfect.

Having cold spaghetti salad, and steak today for 4th. ( though I'm not a big steak lover ) so will likely take along some home made ham salad. Only 3 BIL's left so it was a hurry up last minute deal. Sigh !!! Made a bit of extra work, but at least it forces me to make some food for the day. Already had some potato salad. I'm eating much lighter lately so I won't get stuffed for sure.

Hope all are well.

IllinoisLady

The world is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion.
--Thomas Paine

carolehalston

Happy 4th to all. We rode in the boat parade on our lake, Island Lake, earlier today. There were about 13 boats participating, fewer than last year. The rest of the day has been relatively quiet with families doing their own thing, on the water or in the campground.

If we stay up late enough, we'll go out and watch fireworks across the lake at Vacationer resort. Last year they had quite a show.

Wren44

We'll watch our local fireworks on TV. It's too big a crowd for me. It was nice when we lived up on a hill and could go down a ways and sit to watch. We're planning to get fried chicken from our favorite place. The owner is from Texas (where we lived for 16 years) and the food is just the way we like it.

jo6359

I just returned from the Skilled Nursing Facility to visit my elderly neighbor. Now, it's time to sedate the dogs. I have to start giving their tranquilizers to them 2 hours in advance. I love the 4th of July. I'm not going out to celebrate this evening because I like to be close to home with the doggies during the fireworks. My neighbors and I usually walk to the street in front of our homes to watch the fireworks. We're fortunate we can usually see the fireworks from 2 to 3 different directions depending on the weather. Happy Fourth of July to all of you.

Joan811

Hi Jackie and all the amazing ladies here,
I'm checking in...as I do with too much time between.
I also welcome Scottea / Cath to the group. It does seem like an overwhelming amount of information, and each year new medical approaches are designed. But you and your oncologists will come up with the right plan for your situation. Meanwhile, take care of yourself and rest when you can.

Chi Sandy, congratulations on the weight loss. It isn't easy but you are on your way to better health!

We just returned from a two week trip to Colorado, Utah and Montana. Five flights in 14 days.
We saw my son in Boulder, had a vacation in Sundance, and visited friends at Flathead Lake in Big Fork MT. It all went well. Today is our first full day home...so much to do!!! It is high 80s and humid...so summery. No beach until tomorrow...today was unpacking and laundry etc. etc.

We are recovering so no family around today. It's a bit lonely. We had barbecued burgers for dinner, and I have an angel food cake in the oven. Simple pleasures!
I am feeling well as the doctors predicted. My checkup in June was all good. I have an appointment and scan in September, which will tell me how things are going.

Happy Fourth of July!

Love to all,

Joan811

IllinoisLady

The source of love is deep in us, and we can help others realize a lot of happiness. One word, one action, or one thought can reduce another person's suffering and bring him or her joy. One word can give comfort and confidence, destroy doubt, help someone avoid a mistake, reconcile a conflict, or open the door to liberation. One action can save a person's life or help them take advantage of a rare opportunity. One thought can do the same, because thoughts always lead to words and actions. If love is in our heart, every thought, word, and deed can bring about a miracle. Because understanding is the very foundation of love, words and actions that emerge from our love are always helpful. -Thich Nhat Hanh

IllinoisLady

So wonderful to hear from all. Glad you are home again Joan. Sounds like you did a lot of fun things ( especially with family and friends ) and spent time in some very nice places. Lots of travel for 14 days of arrivals and departures but I think it is a good spirit booster.

We stayed home this yr. as well. Our dogs, as well as my cousin's, do not like fireworks at all. Little Muffie ( not all that little, but still not toooo big ) climbed up my chest and snuggled there for a long time. Once things calmed enough we went into the bedroom ( I turned on the t.v. to drown out what I could ) and he lay up against me which was I think cooler for both of us.

Prepared food to take over to the BIL's and eat with them. We took the day off from cleaning out the house where Al lived. Likely back at it tomorrow. This afternoon we pick up my cousins from the airport. Then back to my regularly scheduled life. I think/hope that I won't have much to do for a while. The income as always was nice, but truth is that it seems when I NEED things ( new phone, tires, rotors, brakes, alternator, t.v. ) I get work. So, I'm doing okay even if I did hope for a little padding in the checking account. I am grateful that I didn't have to chg. any of those things so all's well that ends well. No complaints from me.

I hope you are all going to have a great after the 4th. day and we are going to have a couple of nice left-overs. Not too much which is good. I always make a bit extra to give to my BIL's since they often don't cook all that much and I know appreciate prepared food.

ChiSandy

Welcome home, Joan! Despite all the flying (airports--ugh), sounds like you had a great trip, especially with family in the Rockies.

Except for a short grocery run, spent yesterday home alone with the kitties. None of our friends felt like firing up their grills, especially considering difficult parking situations and iffy (yet still HOT) weather. Bob was working late. I had no desire to brave the crowds up in Evanston to see the fireworks. (Navy Pier? Hahahaha--strictly for tourists, or for those young enough to handle the hassle). Wed. night Gordy & Leslie went to Riva Seafood & Steak on the pier to watch the fireworks from a window table (Bob & I grilled salmon). Good thing they didn't go last night--there was a sudden stampede (triggered by someone flashing gang signs, a knife fight, and then an idiot throwing live firecrackers into the crowds as they ran). So I grilled myself a big gooey bison cheeseburger (using portabella caps as a bun) and watched "A Capitol Fourth" as the kitties snuggled with me for refuge from the amateur fireworks going off all around the neighborhood (unfortunately, impossible to see through the clouds & trees).

Today I blew my back out (again?!) just getting up off the toilet. Been sitting with the heating pad cranked up high, after taking s dropperful of CBD oil, 2 Aleve and a Baclofen. Stretching exercises didn't do much. The only upside is that I know it's not spine mets--just a degenerating arthritic spine and a disk on the verge of herniating. We'll see how well I hold up trying to grill us a porterhouse tonight (hoping Bob can pick up a starch side dish at WF--have some fattoush salad (cuke, tomato, peppers) as my side.

I have all these CBD (and a few--totally legal for me--THC) edibles lying around on which I spent an eventual fortune--but now can't use because they're full of sugar!

Today, instead of a shift or caftan or a baggy tee & shorts, I pulled on khaki shorts and the "ladies' cut" tee I got at Cochon in NOLA a week before I was diagnosed in 2015. It's sat in my dresser drawer because it was too snug then. Funny how when you're fat, you dress loose & baggy to conceal the bulk; yet when you've started losing enough weight, form-fitting stuff makes you look (& feel) thinner.

IllinoisLady

I find joy and inspiration in the commonplace
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The enlightened give thanks for what most people take for granted.
- Michael Beckwith

A thankful heart is the greatest virtue.
- Cicero

The invariable mark of wisdom is to
see the miraculous in the common.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

IllinoisLady

Sorry to hear about your back Sandy. I hope you do get it back in shape really soon. It is good to know what is going on though, so you can take it in hand right away.

We enjoyed our fourth and yesterday went to Mid-America airport and picked up my cousins on their return from Fla. We have been having ( more expected today along with heat and humidity ) spot showers for the last few days. Some have been more like spot major pour-downs. So difficult yesterday and so hard that we missed the off-ramp to the airport and had to circle-back. Good to be home though if we must deal with those sorts of things. At least they have been sort of brief most of the time if VERY wet when they do occur.

I hope you will all have a great Saturday.

ChiSandy

Weather got much cooler, my back is a bear (again) and Bob is getting home very late so he can accompany me to my dear friend & ex-boss' 90th birthday party up in Skokie early tomorrow evening.

But learned this morning that one of my few first cousins in NY passed away yesterday (all his wife--still in shock, of course--could say was he had a "rare blood cancer" and then got pneumonia while trying to recover from a stem cell transplant). Since he and his wife are observant Modern Orthodox, he has to be buried as soon after Shabbat as practicable. Unlike here in Chicago, gravediggers in NYS do work on Sundays--so the funeral is tomorrow, with first night of Shiva (the week of mourning during which the bereaved receive condolence visitors at home) tomorrow night and thereafter till Fri. morning. Spent most of the day frantically exchanging e-mails with one of my other cousins (who lives in the Boston area) and my sis, who lives in the NoVA DC suburbs. Consensus is that I should attend the party--how many 90th birthdays do we get to celebrate: especially for someone who battled back from a massive stroke only to lose his wife to a sudden heart attack, and who mentored me for almost 20 years after I resumed my legal career once Gordy was old enough? (He also is an elder at my temple who supplemented my religious education). As one of my cousins put it, she & her husband have had 5 deaths within their circle in the past 3 months--and any time one can have a chance to celebrate a 90th birthday, go for it.

My cousin's wife & I hadn't spoken in over a decade--my other paternal cousins (from a different aunt) had some sort of feud with them that turned into a longstanding grudge--and my mom, being loyal to the aggrieved aunt, was "all in." But out of the blue, when a French genealogist hired by a "notaire" (French equivalent of an American property/probate lawyer) called to tell me a second cousin (whom I didn't know I had) had died in Paris leaving a small estate, my cousin's wife & I (we're the first two women lawyers in the family) corresponded, piecing together that part of our family tree. Family is precious, and all parties involved in the original grudge are long gone. Life is too short for pettiness...especially as friends & relatives my age are beginning to die off.

Will reconnoiter with my sis in the morning to arrange an affordable flight (she from Dulles or Reagan, me from O'Hare) so we can meet at JFK or (ugh) LGA, carpool, and share a room for a couple nights. Closest airport to my cousin is White Plains/Westchester County, but flights to there from Chicago on short notice & short stay are insanely expensive (try >$2000 round trip in Economy).

Beaverntx

Sandy, safe travels all around. Enjoy the 90th birthday celebration for an old friend. And hope your travel connections with your sister work out.

IllinoisLady

Let us be grateful to people who makes us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. -Marcel Proust

IllinoisLady

So many un-expected things. My condolences to your family Sandy. I also agree that a ninetieth birthday should get its day or evening in the sun. Hope your flights go well and that your first born doesn't have to be sold off for tickets.

Very hot here, but so far so good. I move around a bit slower outside if I need to be there. Elsewise, lots inside if I want to be busy. I hope you are all having a good Sunday.

pingpong1953

My dear friend Donna passed away yesterday. I'm in northern Ontario and she's in Akron, Ohio, but I was able to go down there in April and spend some time with her. She had emphysema and COPD and cursed every cigarette she ever smoked. Hard to believe that I'll never see her again or hear her laugh or just hang out and eat dessert with her.

Di2012

Pingpong...I am very sorry for your loss...losing a dear friend is so difficult!

Di2012

Sandy...my sincere sympathy for the lost of your cousin.....safe travels to you

Wren44

Pingpong, Sorry for your loss. It is great that you were able to visit and spend time with her. I know you'll miss her.

Sandy, Sorry for the loss of your cousin. Safe travels.

jo6359

Pinvpong and Sandy- I'm so sorry to hear about your losses. It's wonderful you have so many memories of your loved one. May those memories comfort you during this time. Losses are always hard.

IllinoisLady

Pingpong, please add my sorrow along with the others. It is hard to view parts of life that won't include those who have meant so much. Wishing you and her family peace.

carolehalston

I just managed to lose my post. Fortunately it wasn't long.

Condolences to Pingpong and Sandy. How well I understand the sorrow of having a loved one vanish from the earth.

Happy Monday after the 4th It's wonderful to have the resort/campground quiet after being "invaded" by those who have every right to be here. The children all seemed to get along. Mother Nature provided sunny warm days for boating and cooking out and what have you.

I plan to do some laundry today. Tonight and tomorrow it may rain. I will probably need to go to the outpatient clinic again and have the doctor on duty listen to my chest. I still have a cough, which has become "loose" as opposed to "dry." I don't feel bad but I want to avoid getting pneumonia again.

IllinoisLady

A miracle worker is an artist of the soul. There's no higher art than living a good life. An artist informs the world of what's available behind the masks we all wear. That's what we're all here to do. The reason so many of us are obsessed with becoming stars is because we're not yet starring in our own lives. The cosmic spotlight isn't pointed at you; it radiates from within you.

--Marianne Williamson

IllinoisLady

Glad things have settled down and are quieter Carole. At a certain age ( even though celebrations will always happen ) the relief of 'normalizing' is welcome. We are still having intermittent fireworks. Don't know if some are just having their 4th. late or maybe using up some of the left-over fireworks. It makes Bill ( our big black lab ) really anxious and he paces the floor, gets in one of his 'hiding' places and then comes back out because he just can't be still.

Good idea to check on your 'changing' cough. I wouldn't want pneumonia again either. I'm thinking of re-starting my Claritin to try and settle down my sinuses again. Sigh !!! It takes a couple hrs. in the a.m. to get opened up so I hear poorly ( even with hearing aids ) during the period. Really tired of it, but a FIX could have drawbacks so I may have to just live with it as I have been the past few yrs. Just hope it doesn't get any worse.

Hoping for a really good day for everyone.

Wren44

Jackie, I take my Claritin at night because I was waking up all congested. Might be worth a try. I sure can tell if I forget to take it the night before.

Carole, I know that peaceful feeling when things return to normal. We still have idiots lighting firecrackers here, too. They're banned in the city (hahaha). We enjoyed the visit from our son, but returning to just and the cats was nice too.

IllinoisLady

Wren, thanks. I will do that. I was getting discouraged about poor results and that may be just the thing. I did take my hearing aids apart and clean them. Did find some dirt in the one that never has any so that too should help. It's better ( not great ) so taking Claritin at night may be the thing for sure.