Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

Wren44

Illinois Lady, Condolences. I hope happy memories are able to take over sadness. Always hard to lose family.

IllinoisLady

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves,
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
- Marianne Williamson

IllinoisLady

The inherent nature of life is constant change.
To fear change is to fear life itself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Welcome change. Without change, we would always remain caterpillars.
Embrace change. Spread your wings. Fly high and free.

IllinoisLady

Yesterday afternoon the rains, including thunderstorms and just 'normal' rains ceased and the sun came out. Today will be pretty. Don't know how long we will be treated to 'pretty' but I am sure going to enjoy it for now. I'm well into my job which will carry on thru Saturday as I've no idea just what time my friend will arrive back home. I'm working on mine and attending to a couple of other projects since like most people -- life and bills, and housework, and weed pulling are fairly constant. So -- on we go, huh !!

I hope you are all getting on and having some sun and fine weather too.

carolehalston

Dreary looking outside at the moment but is supposed to improve. Temperature in the 60's. I am signed up for women's golf at 11:30.

Now I have developed my own hacking cough after listening to dh's hacking cough for weeks. I may have to visit the out patient clinic, too, if my health worsens. I definitely don't want to end up in the hospital again with pneumonia, as I did in January. There seems to be a never ending production of pollen up here in northern MN. I take two different OC allergy meds.

On Saturday we set up a canopy tent at the Street Fair in the little village of Dorset and displayed some of dh's beautiful turned bowls. The effort turned out to be profitable. Plus it was pleasant visiting with people who stopped to shop.

Wishing everyone a good day.

nanette7fl

IllinoisLady & Carole sounds like things are interesting for both of you. Here I'm happy to report that my container garden is now a container jungle!! With the afternoon thunderstorms last week the nitrogen from the storms tripled the growth of my tomatoes and peppers and I may have to move them to 5 gallon buckets they're so huge now with tons of blooms setting

jo6359

Nanette you're getting rain and thunderstorms just like I am. Last week, I cut back all my Hibiscus bushes and Alamanda Vines. They look like they're ready to be cut back again. My yard is starting to look like a jungle.

Carole- would you post some pictures of your husband's bowls?

IllinoisLady

Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.

Brené Brown

IllinoisLady

Bright and sunny here, but could get a ( I think anyway ) a quick storm that would only briefly pass through if reports can be believed. Lately things have not gone all that close to what gets predicted so will have to see. It is warm out already as the a/c is on and came on over an hour ago at 8 a.m. Doesn't stay on long though so that is good. Looking forward to the day and hoping to get lots of things done. Will take a friend some starts. I gave her some last year and moles were in her yard and apparently destroyed a lot of the roots. Told her to keep some in pots until she had plenty -- then maybe after the moles hopefully have gone elsewhere she can get them going again in the areas where she wants something the deer won't eat.

Seems like something ( in my case, lack of sun and a space where Dh can't do much damage ) is always hampering our desire to grow nice things. I hope you are all going to have a great day. Carole -- I'm all for seeing the wood bowls too.

carolehalston

Thanks for your interest in dh's bowls. I have a picture on my cell phone.

Today Ken Fixit came to fix the resort dryer which has been out of commission for several weeks, quite an inconvenience for three of us who regularly do our laundry here. Funny thing is that he made a mistake in resetting cost and time. The electronic face shows $1.80. I put in 5 or 6 quarters and 60 minutes came up. Ken is supposed to come back later today. Meanwhile I'm glad to deal with a couple of weeks accumulation of laundry.

I am not feeling bouncy and full of energy today. It occurred to me that I haven't fully returned to pre-pneumonia energy. A round of golf, riding in a cart, has become tiring. I also have been dealing with some depression following my mother's passing. I'm starting to feel older as though losing her opened up a new phase in which dh and I and my older brother are the "old folks" in the family. My parents and aunts and uncles are all gone, along with most of the family friends of my parents' generation. There are also quite a few friends of our generation who have died.

I know. It's life. Get used to it. Better than the alternative.

Sorry to be gloomy. Hope everyone is having a good day.

Wren44

Carole, I had a similar reaction to my mother's death. I am now the oldest person in my family. I don't know if any of DH's relatives are older than me, but I don't think so. It's a creepy feeling. It does get better after some time, but for me has never completely gone away. I don't remember when you had pneumonia, but it takes 6 months to fully recover. Probably longer at our age. Hugs.

jo6359

carole- you have been through so much with your own pneumonia and your mother's recent passing. It is life. But we still have the right to grieve our losses. Losing a parent is a huge loss. Hopefully as you continue to recuperate from your bout with pneumonia you will have more strength to deal with your mother's death. Depression can be a part of the process. As I recall from your posts, you were with your mother until the end. It's especially scary when we add cancer to the mix. How can a person not question their own mortality? I agree with Ren. It can take several months to recuperate from pneumonia.

nanette7fl

Jo... I am loving this burst of foliage we're having right now it brightens my soul and I need that right now.

Carole....Being the oldest in the family... my father and his brother have been feeling that for a few years. They have a good attitude now because we, the next generation see them as wise men who share their knowledge with us and our children. When my mother died it was 4 days after I returned home. I was sad that I hadn't been there at the end but I know she entered into a coma a few hours after I left. We made our peace and I got to share what she was seeing.... glimpses of heaven and I encouraged her to walk there and leave her cancerous body behind. She was so worried about those she was leaving behind and I tried to reassure her that we would all be fine, especially with her watching over us all. Her roommate was very upset that mom passed alone..."I just walked out of the room for a moment...and when I returned she was gone." I tried to explain that the Mom i knew was a very private woman.. very 1950ish. Lose is hard but i tend to remember the good times we had and it does help. Like when my 2st son was born and she showed up the day i was released and told my husband "I'm here to help her and the baby. You need not get in the way, and you also can sleep on the couch. I'll be sleeping in here with Nan and the baby." I never saw that,sidr of her before. She stayed for 2 weeks and taught me a lot about caring for myself and my son. Mom was also there when the next 2 were born and I wouldn't have had it any other way. Wisdom being passed down... I passed the same wisdom down to my children. Wisdom is to be shared and you seem to have a lot to share with the next generations.

Yesterday was the maiden voyage of my "new: van. We had errands to do and it was nice to drive, finally. I did turn over the keys to DH after the last stop because I'd had enough... my specs were sore from doing work. Today we began seriously detailing the van. We bought it from a neighbor and they didn't take too much care of the interior or the carpets. But after dinner we went out to look at our handy work and we have the front 2/3s looking decent. I really feel spoiled with this van as it has heated seats dual ac in the front, a 5 disc CD player and a cassette player, automatic sliding side doors and the back lid works off the key fob to open or close without me having to reach up. For a 2002 those were the too upgrades on a Town and Country Van.

Tomorrow I meet with the PS for follow up after sur6last week and I'm praying ffc he takes the drains out. They collect less than 6cc total daily and tonight the left drain is making me sore as I can feel the end of it pressing on my rib as it's still trying to suck out stuff that's isn't there anymore.

May tomorrow find you all peaceful and well. Be blessed in the moment and thankful for being alive.

jo6359

Nanette- so glad to hear you're having fun with your new van. I hope you get your drainage tubes out soon. I'm sure it feels like they've been in forever.

IllinoisLady

Hang in there Carole. I found it very difficult to lose my mother as well. Although we were aware of what to expect of her illness, it came much sooner than we thought. No matter how much I did for her before and during her final illness I still felt some guilt that I hadn't done more or done things differently. It takes time to accept that you remain ( in my case the last one in our small family ) as representative of the family. I sort of felt like the person who knew me best besides myself should still be there. Now time has passed I realize all I have to do is remember something loving -- like her little smile, or the touch of her work-worn hand and she is right back with me. Your pain tends to turn into a treasure of good memories. Some patience required.

Congrats on the new car Nanette. Nice to be the pilot too, eh !! Hoping with the rest you will be set free from your drains very soon. Only 1/3 to go and your older new car will be as shiny and clean as can be and a real treat taking up space in your drive-way.

IllinoisLady

So many brilliant and gifted people squander their gifts because they lack the humility of self-understanding. When we think we know it all, we miss the point. When we think we know everything about ourselves, we show our ignorance and our arrogance. The wonder of human beings is that we are constructed in such a way that we can spend our entire lives exploring our inner universe and its connection to the universe as a whole and still barely scratch the surface.
We are a wonder for us to behold. -Anne Wilson Schaef

carolehalston

Thanks for all the sympathetic words and understanding. It definitely helps to share.

My pneumonia was in January. So not quite six months have passed. I went to the out patient clinic in Park Rapids yesterday and was impressed with the efficiency and level of care. I had a chest x-ray that was good. My vitals were also good. The diagnosis was a kind of bronchitis (long word I can't remember) that should go away without meds.

I feel reassured by the x-ray. I'm still coughing intermittently but not constantly. I bought Nasacort and have started using it, in addition to two other over the counter allergy meds.

It's a mostly sunny day here and is supposed to get hot, mid 80's. We have weather cycles when the southern winds bring humidity and heat, which will then bring storms and cooler temperatures.

Hope your van turns out to be a good acquisition, Nanette. It's fun to get a different vehicle.

Have a good day, everyone.

IllinoisLady

Every decision that you make either moves you toward your personality, or toward your soul. Each decision you make is an answer to the question, "How do you choose to learn love?", "How do you choose to learn authentic empowerment-- through doubt and fear, or through wisdom?"

Gary Zukav

IllinoisLady

Pretty out today. I think it will get hot ( 90 ) and likely some humidity as well. That's okay as long as it doesn't rain. I'm really tired of the rain although we do need a share now and then. We have been getting someone else's for a while so I'm enjoying not looking out to gray and or wet several days in a row.

When I go over to my friend's this morning I'll do the feeding chores and clean up for the final time as she will be home earlier than she thought. It is quite a relief to me. We have to go this afternoon and assess some of the needs of what it will take to work with my BIL's house. Lots of cleaning and other issues we know since his last illnesses prevented him from doing much at all.

Fortunately his neighbor is interested in the property ( they always got on well ) so we may not have to actually list the house. Also good that he is not needing it so we won't have to rush anything to the point of discomfort for anyone.

I hope you are all going to have a great Saturday.

MCBaker

I had my implant exchange with fat grafting and modifications so lefty will be a sister of the replacement of righty. I was disturbed at the thought of having lefty cut up, but was not able to articulate it for quite a while. After surgery, I asked the PS if it would be possible for me to nurse my grandbabies (neither of my kids is married or pregnant). He said theoretically yes, with the help of hormones, since my cancer was hormone negative that is doable. Since the mastoplexy did not destroy its God-given function, I accept it. Keep in mind I am 69. I apologized for the theoretical reason for the concern, and he told me no one in my age-range had ever asked it. So I am strange.

jo6359

mary- I'm glad you're doing so well. We all have moments while in recovery.. at 69 I'm still uncertain about your ability to breastfeed your grandchildren that don't exist. That is so funny. I remember years ago what I went into recovery to see my elderly neighbor who had wrist surgery. She looked at me and screamed "oh my God I went to Hell because Jo is talking to me now" she knew I was an atheist but I just laughed and told her" BTW you're alive". I never told her the story but the recovery nurse did and she was mortified. I just laughed. People say crazy stuff in recovery. The really sad part is when people take it seriously. Most of the time it's nonsense.

IllinoisLady

If someone is able to show me that what I think or do is not right, I will happily change, for I seek the truth, by which no one was ever truly harmed. It is the person who continues in his self-deception and ignorance who is harmed.-Marcus Aurelius

nanette7fl

Mary congrats on a successful surgery!@ And thanks for the laughs lol

I got my drains out today!! Hurrah!! I have my appt with Radiation Oncologist on Friday and if everything still matches up I will begin radiation therapy on Monday

IllinoisLady

The surface of the ocean changes constantly. Now it is smooth and quiet. Again it becomes violent and tempestuous. But in its depths, down under the storms that whip the surface into a fury, there is a zone of eternal calm which no storm ever reaches, no hurricane ever ruffles. The surface of life is also in a state of constant flux, with good days and bad, victory and defeat. To maintain, as the ocean does, a deep inner calm, while the storms of misfortune, reverses, fears and worries lash at the surface of life, is to discover the secret of serenity. -Wilferd A. Peterson

jo6359

nanette- I hope everything goes well and you can begin radiation on Monday.

Wren44

Illinois Lady, Every time you post a quote from him, I wonder who on earth would name a kid Wilferd. I realize it was probably a long time ago, but he must have endured teasing even then.

Nanette, Woo Hoo for getting the drains out and being able to start on the next step.

MCBaker

Nannette, Praying for you. You are having a rough ride with this.

It was a day surgery. My transportation service provided me with the same driver there and back. Soon after she dropped me off, a friend who is a retired nurse picked me up, and I spent the night at their house. She brought me home, and my sister arrived. Saturday night we went to the grocery store, with the notion of making strawberry jam. I got the jars in the kettle, lids in a pan. strawberries hulled and sliced, and sugar measured. We went to Mass, and started working immediately after. Once the jars cooled down, she left with two half-pints. Yes, she said "don't do that" when I made the motion to carry the canning kettle from the sink to the stove. Somehow the burners on the stove have a timer on them to prevent one being on for more than two hours.

On the right side, he opened it up on its right side, and removed the tissue expander. He had set up the tissue expander based on the weight of the removed tissue, which was heavier for its volume because of the extensive DCIS. So made some adjustments to the pocket, and removed some extra skin when closing.

On the left side, he cut around the nipple, then vertically below the nipple. To remove the droopiness, he rotated the breast, and sewed everything in place.

He took the fat from around the hip joint, he said that this was the best-quality fat for grafting.

IllinoisLady

Wren, I am chuckling... I had not paid much attention to the name of the man with the quote, but did once you mentioned it. It reminded me of the fact that when I was named almost 74 yrs. ago my Mom and the nuns at the hospital where I was born did not seem to have too much of a clue how to spell the name I was given. It is a weird spelling for sure. So, I am thinking a similar thing may have happened when this person was born.

Hugs, Jackie

jo6359

mary and jackie-i,too chuckled at the name Wilfred. My grandfather and 4 great uncles were all named Woodrow Wilson . The Woodrow portion of the name was never passed On to the Next Generation of my family. My grandfather said he hated the teasing. It could have been worse, he could have been named Wilfred.

Mary- your description of making strawberry jam made my mouth water. I'm glad you're recovering well from your surgery. I would try to avoid any heavy lifting for a few days.

IllinoisLady

The healing of our present woundedness may lie in recognizing and reclaiming the capacity we have to heal each other, the enormous power in the simplest of human relationships: the strength of a touch, the blessing of forgiveness, the grace of someone else taking you just as you are and finding in you an unsuspected goodness. Everyone alive has suffered. It is the wisdom gained from our wounds and from our own experiences of suffering that make us able to heal. Becoming expert has turned out to be less important than remembering and trusting the wholeness in myself and everyone else. Expertise cures, but wounded people can best be healed by other wounded people. Only other wounded people can understand what is needed, for the healing of suffering is compassion, not expertise. -Rachel Naomi Remen