Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

IllinoisLady

Agree !

karen1956

Golfish, I had horrid side effects on AIs as well as tamoxifen. I endured them for 3 1/2 years and finally said enough is enough. That was 2010. Listen to your body and your heart and do what feels right for you. Not all people have side effects and some do but they go away after a few months. Me, I was the exception. All the best to you.

IllinoisLady

Most people are searching for happiness. They're looking for it. They're trying to find it in someone or something outside of themselves. That's a fundamental mistake. Happiness is something that you are, and it comes from the way you think. -Wayne Dyer

IllinoisLady

Grrr. Rain ( torrential for about 20 mins. last night ) heat and humidity. Well, plenty to do inside but feel concern for workers who will be outside, and animals with no shade etc. We do have plenty of shade here so at least we can keep adequate. Have the a/c on 78 which has been okay but you have to work a little slower inside. I could move a couple of outdoor plants ( from one parcel of ground to another ) if I do it early since it would be an easy removal and replanting but Id have to make quick decisions on it and I have to be cautious a Dh doesn't recognize barriers to mowing too well. If it keeps this up though there is going to be less mowing.

Hope you are all going to have a good day.

carolehalston

We had gentle rain early this morning. The pitter patter on the roof of our rv sounded peaceful. Now the sun is out. DH will be mowing in a little while but I have a hair appointment at 12 for trim and color. I will also run some errands. I will do my mowing with a smaller mower tomorrow.

ChiSandy

Intermittent downpours last night & this morning. Despite an umbrella, my dress got soaked as I walked to our neighborhood restaurant--and three hours later, the back of my dress was still damp. It's ok now (albeit muggy). We're under a heat warning till Sunday--temps near 100, heat indices near 110. Reminiscent of 1995's heat wave, when >700 Chicagoans (mostly poor & elderly living in ghettoes) literally cooked to death in their homes & apartments because they couldn't afford air conditioning and were terrified to open their windows for fear of home invaders.

The older people get, the more paranoid--and it's not limited to poor old people. My late in-laws, who had plenty of money and lived in a safe neighborhood in eastern Queens, used to keep the windows closed, shades drawn, with purses & other valuables hidden under layers of plastic grocery throws covered by newspapers, blankets & towels so as not to attract burglars and "murderers." That old SNL fake commercial with Sam Waterston hawking "robot insurance," warning of robots "eating old people's medicines," had more than a ring of truth to it.

Wren44

I think I worry less as I grow older. I do lock my doors at night, but otherwise don't think I have much anyone would be interested in taking. I was concerned when I got a flat screen TV, but DS said no one would steal one that small. He's probably right.

ChiSandy

Flat screen TVs, even big ones, are cheaper today than 26" tube TVs were 20 years ago--in absolute, not inflation-adjusted dollars. I see 50-inchers going for under $300, whereas in 1989 we paid $700 for a tabletop color 25" tube TV and in 1993, $1500 for a 36" console. (Heck, even in 1981 I paid >$500 for a 19" Hitachi tube TV with 13 tuner buttons and no remote control capability).

IllinoisLady

Wren, I chuckled. Your DS is likely right. I always said I'd have to rob a super wealthy person as I would not want to risk going to jail for pilfering a $20.00 bill. I don't worry much either. I live in a good neighborhood ( all sorts of Protected By signs ) but it is clear that there is virtually nothing in my very small home that is WORTH the risk. It does help that I don't live on a thru lane. You must back up and turn around to get out of here which is likely as much deterrent as the fact it is easy to see that I'm DEFINITELY not in the same league as my neighbors -- when you can even see my house which is mainly in winter.

I do agree Sandy that some older people have confidence that fades with age. I think they may start to see themselves as personally vulnerable and it then begins to extend to home/garage etc. I hope I'll always feel the comfort and safety I have since the day we moved out here to the lake.

nanette7fl

hello everyone 8) I had my dry run today for Proton therapy and I finally get to start on Monday!! I gave a few more tattoo marks on me with clear stickers over them to help them line me up on Monday.

I finally got to see my nextdoor neighbor lady, she's 75 and has rectal cancer. She went to a second opinion for treatment on her cancer and they told her NO chemo necessary just Proton therapy and she looks wonderful! She said she's almost finished and I'm so happy for her. Especially for the fact that she feels better than she has this past 2 years and she looks loads better too!! She said the worst part is being tired when she gets home but she has to take 2 transfer buses to get to her appointment and 3 on the way home.

With the heat wave also affecting us in Florida too I haven't been out too much lately and I miss it but I can't take the heat index of 105+ ... weather people say it should break some time early next week. I don't remember it being this hot in July this is normally late August weather. Glad some of you have had rain as it does tend to help with bringing the temps down

IllinoisLady

Life rushes us along and few people are strong enough to stop on their own. Most often, something unforeseen stops us and it is only then we have the time to take a seat at life's kitchen table. To know our own story and tell it. To listen to other people's stories. To remember that the real world is made up of just such stories. Until we stop ourselves or, more often, have been stopped, we hope to put certain of life's events "behind us" and get on with our living. After we stop we see that certain of life's issues will be with us for as long as we live. We will pass through them again and again, each time with a new story, each time with a greater understanding, until they become indistinguishable from our blessings and our wisdom. It's the way life teaches us how to live. -Rachel Naomi Remen

carolehalston

Gentle rain this morning and overcast skies. If it dries up, I have some mowing to do with the small self-propelled mower. I may also do some laundry. DH departed early, 7 am, to drive to Bemidji for an ultrasound.

Happy Friday to all.

ChiSandy

Hot, hot, HOT today. So hot that after the funeral we attended this morning, we begged off going to the cemetery. Bless air conditioning!

IllinoisLady

The art of contentment is the recognition that the most satisfying and the most dependably refreshing experiences of life lie not in great things but in little. The rarity of happiness among those who achieved much is evidence that achievement is not in itself the assurance of a happy life. The great, like the humble, may have to find their satisfaction in the same plain things.

Edgar A. Collard

IllinoisLady

Going to be VERY hot here too. Not going out except for feeding the feral cats this morning. Have always done them in the a.m. so we can all go back to where its cooler afterwards. Family of raccoons ( young ones ) so am going to have to start trying to find ways to outsmart them and get the ferals fed before they can figure out where to go. The store is now officially ( has been for a week ) closed and nothing going out to the dumpster. Don't think they got a lot of it anyway.

Hope all goes well for you Monday, Nanette. Say cool everyone.

Wren44

Our paper had an article about the heat wave and how they combine humidity and temperature to get a heat number. We're sunny with an expected high of 75 (often is a few degrees higher). I need to cut down plants starting to cover the stepping stones to my car parked on the street, but the plants around are full of bees and I don't want to risk attack.

We went to a clinic Thursday that has a high, ivy-covered wall next to the parking places. When we went back to our car to very young raccoons were playing around our front tire. Fortunately they scurried back when we started the motor.

HikingLady

Raccoons were playing and climbing trees in my back yard this morning! Ha ha, I saw your post above mine, Wren44, and this happens to have been a cute thing to share today!

IllinoisLady

You can't live a perfect day without doing something
for someone who will never be able to repay you.
- John Wooden

IllinoisLady

Hiking Lady I do love that picture. Raccoons ca be very pesky ( get into garbage and spread it all over ) and come to feeding areas to pilfer food, but like any animal they are only trying to survive as well as they can. Besides, who wants to dig grubs when you can get some nice cat kibble just sitting there for the taking. I never intend to feed them -- but often they will sit right along next to the cats and if there is no 'squabbles' I'm okay with it. They hibernate in winter here so for quite a while they become a non-issue anyway.

Hot here again today, but I think it will cool starting tomorrow. We could have a little rain squall during the day which likely will only make it feel worse. I'm pretty tired of all this and will be glad to see it go.

Shelligirl

Morning! Wondering if I can get some advice on reconstruction from other women over 60. My original plan was to go flat because I wanted to avoid additional surgery; however, after looking at some of the photos of exactly what flat can look like, I’m having second thoughts. I trust my surgeon to give me the prettiest scar possible, but there is no way to predict ribs showing. I don’t mind not having a boob, but I personally don’t want that sunken look. I’ve read that it’s noticeable even with a prosthetic. I want to run this idea by you guys before asking my surgeon and hopefully be better prepared: I’m thinking I might want an implant done at the same time as my unilateral surgery but the smallest one available, so there is just a slight mound. I won’t be symmetrical, won’t have a nipple, but will not be concave. Anyone ever heard of this?

karen1956

Shelligirl, I had bilateral mastectomy with expanders, then implants. My implants 200cc. I have no finishing touches! In clothes, I look very natural. Original surgery in 2006. The implants are from 2008 so 11 years old.

MCBaker

I had my reconstruction three weeks ago. The surgeon rotated my left breast so it looks like the breast of an eighteen-year old-- so it will look more like the reconstructed one.

Shellgirl, that sounds like a good idea for minimalist. You will have a place to anchor that side of your bra, and won't need a second surgery. However, it would have to go under the pectoral to avoid the second surgery. I had real objections to that, because I have neurological difficulties, and don't want anything which would mess with important muscles. An implant which goes between the muscle and skin needs to have an envelope built, which requires healing, then another surgery for the permanent implant.

HikingLady

Shelligirl You sound very thoughtful about this. You're considering how much trauma to put yourself through, and how much it matters to have full reconstruction, etc. Very sensible to give this all a thorough think-through.

I chose BMX for various reasons. Mostly because it was already my 2nd breast cancer, and I was not wanting a 3rd visit to Breast Cancer Land. Removing my 2nd breast prophylactically was double the trauma and risks, but I chose it because I would have been living with a higher future bc risk on that side, so for me, it was a reasonable choice. Surgeon agreed. Turns out, I had LCIS in the 'good' breast (found during the BMX and written up in the surgical path report), which would have put that breast at an additional higher bc risk! Anyway, that's why I had a bilateral mastectomy. Which moves my future breast cancer risk to Very Low, but not zero.

I chose reconstruction because I imagined that eventually when I would be healed and moving forward in life, I wanted to look more or less like an intact person, rather than walking around with a billboard of a flat chest. And, I thought that having Fake New Ones would eventually help to normalize all the trauma. A little bit.

So, I had BMX with TE's and a second surgery later for the final implants to be set in. As Mary explains, yes, that's two surgeries. First, building a pocket (stitching Alloderm to pec) during the MX surgery, and TE's are set into that pocket. Then, final implant later. The TE's have to be in place for several months, and saline is injected a few times to expand skin & pec, so that there's room for the eventual implant. They are a little bit weird feeling, and less comfortable than final implants.

My final effect is rather small "foobs." The trauma of the MX surgery alone was huge, and it's even harder when TE's are installed. However, then the eventual exchange surgery was quite easy.

I am glad I chose what I chose. It's easier to fit in clothes, and my foobs are quite small, but they look fine in a bra & clothes. My implants are behind/under my pectoral muscles. That was my only option, because of previous radiation, which meant that side didn't stretch easily.

My implants are perfectly comfortable. I'm now 7 months past exchange surgery. I have full range of motion, and no LE, and good strength and use of arms and chest muscles. I look fine in clothes, although the previously-radiated side feels a bit tighter. This would have been the case even without reconstruction.

My implants rise up quite suddenly. Flat above, and then spherical where they start. Some people have them adjusted, have fat grafting done, etc. so that they look more natural. I will not put myself through any more 'revision' surgeries. In a bra, they sit high enough and look okay. Low-cut necklines do not look wonderful, but that's fine, I can live without those!

Every breast surgery carries a risk of future lymphedema problems. This is something to know in advance, and discuss with your surgeon.

I have not heard of what you're describing; having a small implant set in during the MX surgery. If there's a way to do that all at once, and you have only 1 surgery for both MX & reconstruction, that sounds like a reasonable compromise. There are bras with pockets, and maybe you could add a pad on the smaller side so that clothes fit evenly on top.

There's no perfect answer, and everything we go through at this point is kind of best-decision-considering circumstances, etc. Warm wishes to you, as you face these decisions.

Shelligirl

Thank you, Karen, MC and Hiking Lady, great advice and shows that I have some more thinking to do. It all comes at you so fast and I never guessed there would be so many decisions involved. Hiking Lady, you nailed what I hadn’t even realized I have been struggling with - that there isn’t a good result in any of this, only a best possible.

Thanks again

HikingLady

Shelligirl Oh, my, yes. We have to face it all and understand the choices. Then, we have to make decisions while we're also dealing with the emotional and psychological shock! It helped me to learn as much as I could about all possibilities. Understand my DX, understand all TX options, understand risks and benefits of surgical decisions. It also helped me to hear my plastic surgeon and breast surgeon's information about risk and benefits and surgical outcomes, etc. Then, when I made decisions, I felt as comfortable as I could realistically be. We're facing really hard stuff, and we make decisions as well as we can. Warm wishes to you.

Wren44

I had a mx on one side and no reconstruction. I have a lightweight prosthesis and it fits nicely in a coobie bra. I look normal in clothing. I was lucky that my DH had no desire for me to reconstruct and still thinks I'm beautiful with only one boob.

IllinoisLady

Buried deep in the maze of commonplace, the pearl of true happiness lies. And those who rejoice in little things, find the pathway that leads to the prize.

Lucy M. Thompson

IllinoisLady

Always thinking of those who don't get to post much. Hope you are all going to have a good Monday. Rained last night and much cooler this morning. I'l loving it.

IllinoisLady

Strength is a capacity for endurance. One of the dividends of suffering is the universal discovery the we possess a strength within us we never knew we had. Navigating through a difficult episode not only shows us that inner strength is there but convinces us it will always be there to serve us in the future. Overcoming gives us an assurance of personal confidence and value that far exceeds what we thought we possessed before our struggles began. -Dennis Wholey

carolehalston

Cute pictures of the raccoons.

I have never regretted having reconstruction even though the healing process presented some challenges. I would have hated being flat. But I have talked with women who didn't have reconstruction and were happy with their decision. It's an individual matter.

We have enjoyed several days of lovely weather here in north MN.