Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Comments
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People are ethical only when life, as such, is sacred to them, that of plants and animals as that of their fellow people, and when they devote themselves helpfully to all life that is in need of help. -Albert Schweitzer -
Hi everyone,
Shelligirl- I think you need to do what feels right for you. I had a double mastectomy 5 yrs ago January and I knew from Day 1 that I wanted nothing to do with reconstruction. My BS laughed when I said that at my first appt, and told me he was fine with that, but it would be awhile before I had to make that decision. I was a 65 yr old widow who never wore any "low cut" tops. I had and still have no intention of ever remarrying (unless a fabulously rich 95 yr old shows up) At my first meeting, I knew I didn't want recon, but really didn't know all that much about it. Between then and when I had to make a decision. I had read a lot about it, especially in threads on this site, including a group that all had surgery the same month I did. But the knowledge I found really didn't sway me one way or the other. So , do your research, ask questions and maybe look for a thread here that talks about the pros and cons of both sides, then, go with your gut.
I had a bit of a shock this afternoon. My DD from Georgia called to let me know they found something on her mammogram five weeks ago. She says it's very tiny - maybe the size of a pieceof Rice, and have had her running around all this time getting more tests done. She was supposed to be getting a biopsy today, but the surgeon said he's just not sure and wants her to get a second opinion. I told her to call my BS who was incredible, but I think maybe that makes it all too real for her. I told her to focus on the positives- it's very small, it has defined edges, no "fingers", and most importantly, they found it very early. Plus my BS is one of the top 10 surgeons in the country. I will keep you updated, but right now I have to get dinner ready.
Anne
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It was/is another gorgeous day here and I am so thankful. It has indeed stayed much cooler and while I haven't had a lot of time outside -- when I am out I can grab a handful of weeds out of my beds, and look at how my plants are progressing. It will become warmer but I hope it won't be too hot right away. I hope it sneaks up when it comes.
Hope you all had a beautiful day..
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Found out my implants have been recall from BreastCancer.ORG.....thank you BC.org....my plastic surgeon hasn't notified me, however after surgery I was given a plastic credit size card with brand, serial #, catalog#, size and date of implant.
I have been felt up by many TSA agents.....thus I carry the card with the info in my wallet at all times along with my PS business card.,........sadly this is my SECOND set of implants......the others(different brand) were really soft but wanted to live in my arm pits, so I had a cleavage as wide as the Grand Canyon!
Di
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Di - please note that the FDA is NOT recommending that implants be removed if women are not having problems. They are just recalling the unused stock. If you have any questions, see your personal doctor.
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Thanks Minus!
I guess right now I am just down because. I have a UTI DX on Sunday.....then tonight urgent care calls me and said the culture came back from lab and I have to take another med.....so he called it in
I am sick of UTIs....I have had so many in the past two years..,..plus waiting 1 1/2 months for my spinal procedure....now July 30th....
Di
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Di - my thoughts are with you. I had recurrent UTIs from Christmas Eve all through January. They kept screwing up or losing the cultures so I had two courses of antibiotics that were not correct before they finally re-cultured again. It's exhausting I know.
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As I look back at the entire tapestry of my life, I can see from the perspective of the present moment that every aspect of my life was necessary and perfect. Each step eventually led to a higher place, even though these steps often felt like obstacles or painful experiences. -Wayne Dyer
The tapestry of life continues to be woven. Occasionally a chance arises to repair an older, tattered piece of the weave. Something happens to jolt our awareness back in time to an event that resulted in tears and rips. With new, more mature vision, we see the circumstances in present time and have compassion for the unclear events of the past. While the new experience is being woven into the design, the old rip is simultaneously being repaired. All is well. -Bessie Senette
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Wow !! Glad you explained the difference about the implants Minus Two. I don't have any ( lumpectomy ) but I was wondering after I read about the recall and not to be concerned if you weren't having symptoms whether it was a recall or warning or both. Now I know. Di I can see why you are full of frustration at this point. My quote won't help you much this a. m. How could some of these things happening to you be necessary and perfect. I'm not sure but I hope at some time ( sooner if possible ) that it becomes evident.
I do feel ( very personal to me ) that so many of life events, large and small, did teach me things. Sorry to bring it up because people here may be tired of hearing it, but I do feel what we learn while we are on this earth often is something we need to know for after we transition to somewhere else. In any case I hope you are soon back on track.
Men are here today working on our roof. We continued on ( even after changing the screen room roof ) having problems when it rained, and finally got an estimate ( quite reasonable ) and found that whomever put on the metal roof prior to our buying the house must have had some help that didn't know what they were doing. There were several pieces ( 6 or 7 ) that were not quite the right length, and not only that but the nails were on the ridges, rather than in the cavity where they should have been. Our roof would never have stopped leaking -- and would have ruined the new part on the screen room.
Good weather continues. Some heat for the week-end but hopefully will go back down on Monday. If it stays dry long enough we may be able to consider having the tree man out again to re-attempt getting out two bad trees down.
Hope you all have a really beautiful day,
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Illinois, I always love your quotes and poems. Elizabeth Kuebler-Ross is one of my favorites. Wren, you have a wonderful husband! Aren't we lucky to have these men who help us so much. Shelligirl, someone here told me this, when I started, and I've saved it and still read it: I will never be grateful for cancer. But I am thankful for the lessons I have learned. For those just beginning your journey hold on. Reach out. Be tough. Be weak when needed. And know it gets better. - so true! Best wishes to you. Lisa
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Thank You, MissouriCatLady, for the great quote:
I will never be grateful for cancer. But I am thankful for the lessons I have learned.
Need to copy to my cancer notebook.
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The beauty of the trees, the softness of the air, the fragrance of the grass, they speak to me.
The summit of the mountain, the thunder of the sky, the rhythm of the sea, speaks to me.
The faintness of the stars, the freshness of the morning, the dewdrop on the flower, speaks to me.
The strength of the fire, the taste of the salmon, the trail of the sun, and the life that never goes away,
they speak to me. And my heart soars. -Chief Dan George -
IllinoisLady: I love your daily quotes and so look forward to your postings. I must say this one really speaks to me, so thank you for this one.
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To all those who enjoy the quotes. It has been my pleasure to share what speaks to me in the hope you find some value as well. I think the world needs love and inspiration which I find everyday in a quote. If I could just say it myself -- but the quotes have always done it much better and is likely why they start my day and help me look for harmony everywhere.
Thank you Betrayal and Missouri Cat and anyone who mentions the quotes -- that too is inspiration to enjoy those that come to my inbox everyday and help me find one to share with you and anyone who enjoys them as much as we do.
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I love them, and I really love this one, thank you.
Lisa
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The wise man in the storm prays God,
not for safety from danger,
but for deliverance from fear.
It is the storm within which endangers him,
not the storm without.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson -
Been out seeing to my car this Saturday. Hotter today than I like but still not out of the question. Likely will rain first of the week, but that's okay. I needed work inside and out so my car is nearly empty and ready for the Armor-All and then I can re-load what stays in all the time. Not that much thankfully. Was going to break it up into two days work but got carried away. Oh well !!! I love a super clean car. All this work and it really wasn't bad -- but I had been doing selected ( things that took a beating ) parts and I felt it needed to have a 'complete all at one time' going over.
We will run out and get a salad when I'm done, since I will be hungry and don't have everything I need right now. It will be too late if I have to go to the store first. Also have to put away my supplies used ( wash bucket, car vacuum, special cord, wash mitts and dry and buffing towels. It is almost as much to clean and put away everything you use when doing the car. I have a study plastic step ( just one step ) stool that I leave in the car when I'm done. My car is just tall enough that neither can you reach the whole windshield or roof otherwise. I have to wash and dry the stool too. These things keep me flexible ?? don't they ???
I hope you all had a most wonderful Saturday.
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I simply drove to the Subaru dealership--I get free washes for as long as I own the car.
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This talk of cars makes me miss my Toyota Prius, all alone under the carport at home in Louisiana. We make do with dh's Toyoto Tundra truck during the summer.
Today I'm having a day of rest. Haven't ventured outside the camper home but once to sit a few minutes on the deck. It has been a cool overcast day, high 60's.
Hope everyone has enjoyed their Sunday.
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Carole, though a bit on the coolish side your temp. sounds delightful. Had most of today's work done and looking forward to rest and relaxation. Dh came in and his big garden tractor has a mishap so to speak. Belt popped off. Well, in the 90 degree heat we had to push this big heavy tractor backwards ( we are on slopes so could not dare turn it around to go forward ) through about 60 percent of the yard -- up over a big hump and into the driveway. Finally we could turn it around and get it moving out of the drive and onto the road that goes into our garage. The up-side -- hopefully I'll weigh less in the morning tomorrow. I'm 74 and Dh is 80. I hope he goes and buys a sturdy tow line. This is the second time this year I've had to help push one of the garden tractors uphill and the third time the tractor is going to become a lawn decoration.
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One of the upsides of living on a flat 1/4 acre city lot!
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To awaken each morning with a smile brightening my face; to greet the day with reverence for the opportunities it contains; to approach my work with a clean mind; to hold ever before me, even in the doing of little things, the Ultimate Purpose toward which I am working; to meet men and women with laughter on my lips and love in my heart; to be gentle, kind, and courteous through all the hours; to approach the night with weariness that ever woos sleep and the joy that comes from work well done--this is how I desire to waste wisely my days. -Thomas Dekker
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Rain came today as expected. Not in great amt. so that was nice. I managed to even be able to feed the kitties. Being lazy -- these dreary days don't do a lot for my energy. Feels more like you should cozy up in the corner of your chair and read a bit. Well that often brings on a doze. Something about those ions in the air when it is wet outside.
Hope you are all having a good day.
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Yesterday was windy and cool, like a fall day in Louisiana. This morning we're running the heat pump. But it's supposed to warm up to low 70's.
Happy Tuesday.
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A little something different today:
The telephone rang. It was a call from his mother. He answered it and his mother told him, "Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday."
Memories f...lashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.
"Jack, did you hear me?"
"Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It's been so long since I thought of him. I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago," Jack said.
"Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you were doing. He'd reminisce about the many days you spent over 'his side of the fence' as he put it," Mom told him.
"I loved that old house he lived in," Jack said.
"You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man's influence in your life," she said.
"He's the one who taught me carpentry," he said. "I wouldn't be in this business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important. Mom, I'll be there for the funeral," Jack said.
As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.
The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time. Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time. The house was exactly as he remembered.
Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture...Jack stopped suddenly...
"What'swrong, Jack?" his Mom asked.
"The box is gone," he said.
"What box?" Mom asked.
"There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever tell me was 'the thing I value most,'" Jack said.
It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.
"Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him," Jack said.
"I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom."
It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died. Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. "Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days," the note read.
Early the next day Jack went to the post office and retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention.
"Mr. Harold Belser" it read.
Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope.
Jack's hands shook as he read the note inside.
"Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It's the thing I valued most in my life." A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filled his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch.
Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover. Inside he found these words engraved: "Jack, Thanks for your time! -- Harold Belser."
"The thing he valued most was my time!"
Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days.*
"Why?" Janet, his assistant asked.
"I need some time to spend with the people I love and say I care for," he said. "Oh, by the way, Janet, thanks for your time!"
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away."
Think about this. You may not realize it, but it's 100 percent true.
1. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
2. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
3. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
4. You mean the world to someone.
5. If not for you, someone may not be living.
6. You are special and unique.
7. Have trust sooner or later you will get what you wish for or something better.
8. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good can still come from it.
9. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a hard look: you most likely turned your back on the world and the people who love and care for you.
10. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
12. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know and you'll both be happy.
13. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.
Share this letter with all the people you care about. In doing so, you will certainly brighten someone's day and might change their perspective on life...for the better.
To everyone who read this just now....
*"Thanks for your time."* 😊 -
Sun it out here so I likely will feel the need of getting some things done. I do lots of chores in the morning as it is really when my energy level is at the highest ( except on rainy days ) so a good start already. So funny to hear about needing heat Carole where you are. Wonder what it would be like to live there year around???? Of course it brings to mind Amy Klobuchar announcing her run for President.
We have not had extreme heat or humidity for long periods, though enough to give me the grr's a few times. Not sure how I'd feel if I lived somewhere that needed heat and possible A/C all in the same 24 hr. period. We have done it here once or twice but a rare event.
Our temps will be moderate this week so not a big deal and I think likely no rain for a bit again.
Hope you all will have a fine day.
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Illioislady - beautiful story!
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What a beautiful story, IllinoisLady, and an important message. We just never know how much a few minutes of our time mean to someone. Those few words, that quick smile can make all the difference.
MJ
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Comfortably attired in jeans and long-sleeved shirt this morning, but will be changing to shorts and tee shirt later. It will get warmer today, up to low 80's. Yesterday was a perfect day. Gorgeous blue sky, sunshine, high in low 70's. I played golf with the 18 hole group and played horribly as is my norm the last couple of years. We played a scramble format and my group won, with very little help from me. My group also won last Tuesday so I collected the huge amount of $6 for the two events!
I will have a day to myself since dh will be playing golf with the Wednesday coed group. I may do some pruning. The bushes I pruned about a month ago must have taken the clipping as encouragement for growing.
We're going out to dinner tonight with John from Texas so I don't have to plan what I'll cook tonight. Yay!
Happy Wednesday to all.
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Listening is the oldest and perhaps the most powerful tool of healing. It is often through the quality of our listening and not the wisdom of our words that we are able to effect the most profound changes in the people around us. When we listen, we offer with out attention an opportunity for wholeness. Our listening creates sanctuary for the homeless parts within the other person. That which has been denied, unloved, devalued by themselves and others. That which is hidden.
In this culture the soul and the heart too often go homeless. Listening creates a holy silence. When you listen generously to people, they can hear the truth in themselves, often for the first time. And in the silence of listening, you can know yourself in everyone. Eventually you may be able to hear, in everyone and beyond everyone, the unseen singing softly to itself and to you.
Rachel Naomi Remen
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