please help

Makratz

No mets!!!  That's should be our new song!!

Still raining!!

my3girls

the other new song for those on the east coast..." RAIN RAIN GO AWAY"!! lol

1Cathi

Yes you East coast girls are having a crappy summer so far,  but I am so happy we finally had a huge horrible thunder storm last night and it has kicked the humidity back a great deal,  still going to be about 92 today  - I can live with the heat,  but the humidity is going to stay down a bit so it won't feel like 110 outside - yeah.

my3girls

Cathi...I am like you...love the heat...HATE the humidity.  It will be a warm move to Orlando next month for me and Olivia.

I was reading what you said about IDC ladies who have no node involvement having bone mets later...YIKES...that's me!

1Cathi

From what I have read Lisa the 30% risk is with any node negative invasive BC, I was DX with ILC, node negative,  maybe 30% doesn't seem like a lot,  I think it is,   if I had a 30% chance of having  a heart attack if I didn't have open heart surgery I would be having surgery.  Oh well just another day/worry in the life of BC,  I have always had concern about my node status,  I didn't have SNB,  and only 6  were removed at Lumpectomy.  But I guess the bigger concern is actually progression through the blood stream,  so what the hell does any of it matter anyway.

You will be warm in Orlando when Olivia moves,  I am going to PM you my home tele #.  Just incase  - (don't worry mom) it is hurricane season and if she were ever to have to evacuate and needed a place to stay on this coast she is very welcome to come and be safe.

livesstrong

Lisa - UB & I are leaving on July 16th.  What airport/airline do you work at?

Anonymous

My dear sisters,

I haven't read a lot this morning, but it looks like there are significant happenings in all of your lives. So many pages since I left!

I've missed each of you. The pressure of caring for my grandson coupled with my family re-connecting through Facebook made it too hard to keep up here. Another reason was that my need for support concerns my son's death. This kind of grief is so complex. My cancer worries have become insignificant for now, and I didn't want to distract from the purpose of this group. I tried an online group more appropriate, buy it was too depressing.

As always, things change daily for all of us, including me. I miss staying in touch with all of you and knowing how you are. I don't know how much I can contribute, but will start checking in again.

My nephew posted a slideshow-video of old photos of my brother (his father) who died at age 21 when he was 3. My parents raised him after that. The slideshow included his own growing up, my parents, and my children. My nephew has been deeply moved seeing another young boy lose his dad. The music accompanying the show was a CW song about fathers, then another about brothers (my brother and I were very close.)

It's been 6 months I and have not cried. I've had to hold it together for others who needed my help and support. The loss is too great for tears, anyway. Long story long, this slideshow, images of my brother and my son, its songs,,,all triggered tears at last. I'd forgotten how painful tears can be. But I must walk through the grief. When one protects onesself from pain, there is also a blunting of the experience of love, joy, happiness, caring. I have little to offer right now, but I'll do what I can. It's a long journey. (Yes Barbe, I'm on antidepressants...lol)

As my birthday gift, my youngest son gave me a road trip with him to Utah, where most of my family lives. We had a great time. How is it that relationships become deeper and conversations more meaningful while riding in a car?

I was deeply honored that the above-mentioned nephew rode his Suzuki from Idaho to be with me.

On what would have been my son's birthday, I spent the morning sitting on the grounds of the hospital where he was born, remembering that day, his birth (my first), and the miracle of his life. In the afternoon, my brother hosted a barbecue. Every single family member within driving distance came. There were 47 in attendance. It was healing being surrounded by loving people, tons of lively little ones, dogs, horses...I am so blessed.

On the bootface front, I, too, am having some new pains related to my spine. I had lots of side effects from Arimidex, then Femara. I got an rx for Aromasin, but was waiting to start until after Christmas, in case it also created side effects. I never did start it. I'm just under two years out from surgery. I haven't bothered to see my oncologist, either. Finaly, after the catharsis of tears, I did make an appointment. It's time to pay attention again.

I apologize for the lengthy epistle, but it's been a while. I'll be lurking, watching over you with love.

Judie

lvtwoqlt

Judie, you don't need to apologize for being long winded. If you need to talk, just get it all out. That slideshow sounds wonderful. Sometimes it is healing to cry and seeing pictures of the fun times can help heal as well as bring back the fun memories. After my aunt died, we were in Ohio for Thanksgiving and my uncle brought out his old Super 8 movies of family gatherings, It was good to see and remember Arlene in those movies.

The mother of the friend who died last September from bootface is having it rough now. Her husband has signs of dimentia, almost every day he asks her if she has called Amy to see how she is doing and she has to tell him that Amy died. They have two children who were older than Amy (about 15 yr difference), one lives about 30 miles away and the other lives in St Louis. Mother's day was rough but their son, his wife and Amy's husband came to church with them and Father's day their son and daughter-in-law was at church that day also.

I do need to get back to work but Judie, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Sheila

1Cathi

Judie all I can say is XOXXOXOXOXOXOXOX  & MUCH MUCH LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous

Judie

Glad to see you lady!!! Please, please call me if you would like or need....I think of you often, as I know how every close you are with your children I can only imagine what you are going through with the grief and the need to be strong for others...but you know I/we are here for you every step of the way if and when you need us..

We met about this time last year.....what a wonderful visit we had!!!!! Any chance you are coming to this side of the mountains anytime soon?? Did Devin find work so he can stay in the local area??

Have missed you greatly and have worried about you but post when you feel the need and when you dont I will do as you say.....I will know that you are lurking and watching over me quitely....but you have to promise that you will call or come here if you need ok? Promise???? In the mean time I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers..

Hugs

Jule

Makratz

Hugs Judie.

livesstrong

((((((((((((((((((((((((JUDIE))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) - hugs & love my friend.

barbe1958

Judie, I'm glad you cried, the tears must have released so much pain...you can stop trying to be strong now. It's your turn to grieve and heal. I have thought of you often, as I saw you mention your sons death quite awhile ago. I don't know the particulars, but I cannot imagine the pain of having a child die.

{{{{{{{{ Hugs & Love }}}}}}}}

p.s. I'm glad you're on anti-d's

portiasproudmom

Big hugs, Judie!!!!  It's so good to see you posting here.  I agree with Barbe---it's good that you finally cried.  You needed that.

Love to you,

Karen

my3girls

((((((((((((((((((((((My Dear Judie)))))))))))))))))))))))))))...you know I am here for you...we all are. Come, be long winded, short winded....or quietly watch over us...we will take every little bit you give us. You are a HUGE important part of this thread. We miss you when your not here....and love when you do drop in.

Your nephew sounds like a loving giving soul. How wonderful that he put together that slide show for you. My dear...let the tears flow....as my dear mother always said...the tears that fall are cleansing to the heart and soul. No need to be the strong one anymore..it's time for JUDIE! As a mother, my mind can't wrap around what you have experienced...just can't even imagine. We love you my dear friend!!

Well...accomplished alot here today after I got off work a little early. My dear Alise...did so much to help me out too. She mowed, swept, and scrubbed floors.  I have my lists made for the next 3 days. Haha..I am a list maker...cause I am such a visual person..it helps me sooo much!

Val...I work at the Akron Canton airport. I work for Airtran Airways.  I remember now that you told me you were leaving on the 16th...cause that is the same day I will be in Chicago seeing Elton John!!

ok...going to get one more thing done tonight..it's late..and I have an early morning.

xoxo to all my dear sisters here!

Cathi...thanks for the ph#'s. Olivia is soooo excited! I pm'd my cell to you as well.

xoxo

Lisa

geebung

((((((((((Judie)))))))))). So good to see you here. As the others have said, you need to do what is best for you now. xox

Jule - good luck with the baseball practice! I'm sure you will be fantastic!

Sheila - so sad about your friend's parents. How heartrending that her father has to be told each day that his daughter is no longer here. I would imagine it would be better to say that she's doing ok so as to save him going through fresh, raw grief each time. That's just my opinion and it may not be appropriate in this situation.

Lisa - the party sounds fabulous. Would love to come!

Love to everyone,

Jane xoxo

1Cathi

UGH/YUCK/POOH.  I am off to a business lunch/meeting today.  I hate them,  I very rarely go into our office - love it that way,  I can manage most everything from home,  but it's that time again for quartly updates,  so gotta go. Face the looks,  stares,  and endless questions & suggestions.  I HATE IT.

One of our IT girls Ella ( a real beautiful Russian girl) is way into alternative healing and mind programming - "THE CURE IS WITHIN YOU CATHI" (with her very heavy accent) "You just need to will it out of you"  I guess she'll have me wearing garlic and hanging from a tree-  LOL

barbe1958

Tell her you 'did will it out of you' when you took it out with your breasts!

I too, hate meetings, and as I'm in sales it's ALL numbers....

Our suppliers, though, that's another story! They wine us and dine us to make us want to sell their products. About every 2 months we get fed by master chefs cooking on the very appliances we have to sell - Miele, Wolf, SubZero, Viking, etc. On July 2nd we get to have Fisher & Paykel cook for us! Sometimes there are draws and Bosch coffee makers, knife sets or whatever are won. I've never won anything, but sometimes we get free stuff. I like free stuff! I've gotten Kitchenaid utensils, leather zip folders, pens, etc.

Have fun anyway Cathi and wear something new and sexy!

Makratz

I miss those meeting for my working days.  I was also in sales and loved the competition of exceeding my goals.  Now my work is laundry, cleaning house (OK we all know I don't do that), and mom's taxi.  I can't wait to go back some day!

1Cathi

Well Barbe,  I won't be having  much fun  as  this is a #'s meeting for sure,   these that include lunch are always at a great place  - my boss (also a very good friend) is by no means cheap,  she picks the finest places to hold the lunches,  I am going to wear one of my new dresses I got for my B'day.  I'll be boobless so that will be interesting I am sure for some.  It's a 45 minute drive each way and 2-3 hrs of sitting is not gonna feel very good ,  Alexcis comes over  this evening  until Saturday,  guess PA-PA will be playing this evening while I gorge on pain pills - LOL

1Cathi

Linda you have the hardest job of all.  After just 2 days with Alexcis - I need 2 weeks rest- LOL.

Makratz

I know, that' why I want to go back to work!!

lvtwoqlt

Jane thanks for the suggestion but Amy lived just 10 miles from her parents and they saw her just about every weekend. Her father was in the Navy at the end of WWII and while my son was stationed in Hawaii, he would ask me every week at church how John was doing, where was he at, and what type of ship was he on. After I answered his questions, he would go on about his experiences in the Navy and the big guns on the destroyer he was on. Now he still asks about John (he works 12 hour shifts nights on the weekends so he misses church) but he also asks my brother about his daughter who is stationed in Norfolk.

my3girls

Linda...I was a stay at home, full time mom for over 15 years...it is very hard work...but so rewarding..and time that you never get back. So, since you are able to do it...it's a blessing...but DARN HARD!!!

Barbe...I should have known you were in sales...you got that great spunk and attitude that goes with it! My father was in sales...and now 2 of my brothers are...so I know what it takes. What do you sell, kitchen or restaurant supplies?  Danni's (my oldest) b/f (possibly soon to be fiance) is coming in with her on Sat..so I get to meet him...he has his culinery (sp?) degree...he will be making breakfast for me and whomever is here on Sunday morning!! woohoo!!

Ok...love to all my ladies...back to my LIST!!

Cathi...show off that sexy body of yours!! Try and enjoy the meeting!

xoxo

lisa

Makratz

Congrats Meg!!  Do something special.

It's only misty here today!  That's a step in the right direction!

1Cathi

Meg - thats too funny,  Ella is kinda like that,  she is very into "the powers" sweet girl  - but kind of scary - LOL.

Well it's time to get my rear in gear.  Lunch  @ noon.  YUCKY-POOH!!!!!!!

livesstrong

All this talk about work has made me tired!!!! lol.

I have worked for the past 37 years - the only time I had off (with the exception of vacations) is when I went thru chemo.  I worked through rads. All I want to do now is RETIRE!!!! But I am still to young.

Meg  - you wear those red shoes to rads and take that final walk down the yellowvbrick road. CONGRATS!!

Cathi - take some pain pills before you go - could make the lunch interesting !!!

Linda - no sun again here. I'm beginning to see how Sue feels.

UB couldn't handle the PET scan - too claustrophobic - I think he didn't take the med's early enough to relax him.  The onky will probably send him for a CAT scan now. UGH - more waiting.

Have a great day everyone.

AE

Makratz

AE, sorry to hear about UB.  Waiting stinks!!  WIll they attempt another PET scan? Take those meds early and often!

barbe1958

AE, why couldn't they have medicated him with a needle to make it quick? They're giving him a shot anyway....sheesh! More waiting....give him a big hug from me!

I sell appliances and furniture and mattresses. I do a lot of model homes which I LOVE doing!

1Cathi

I'm back I survived - yeah. AE I would have loved to take pain meds before I went,  but I can hardly walk with them,  let alone drive that far. Sorry about UB and the PET scan,  PET scans are my absolute least favorite scan of them all,  that tube is soooooooooooooo small,  way smaller then any others I swear,  I almost could not do it my very first time,   started freak in out in there,  and I was strapped down so tightly and wrapped in blankets like a mummy - AWFUL.   Now for any scan,  I always make them leave my feet/toes uncovered, just feeling some kind of coolness air on my toes seems to help.  A PET Scan is just plain creepy if you ask me anyway.   The guy who gave me my "RADIOACTIVE ISOTOPES"  the first time I swear was Frankenstein -  I think he had been sniffing radioactive isotopes way to long -  a real weirdo - with his little cement box in tow.  I guess they do them all the same,  but after he injected them he made Ed leave the room for the 45  minutes I had to sit there in the dark,   he's explaining how I must be all calm and not think about anything so as not to send to many to my brain -  WTF.  Ok buddy you want me to relax and it sounds like your telling me I am gonna be some kind of freak when I leave here. 

I HATE PET SCANS