please help

NancyD

Lisa, {{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}

Sometimes that's what we need the most.

my3girls

Good morning sisters...and thank you all for the warm hugs!! I felt them...I really did. Judie thank you for your warm words and advice...you are the best!! Jane...sometimes I wonder if I am expecting too much. We talk everyday, not long convo's but we do. We usually see each other 2 times a week. It' s just that I feel the time we do have like Sunday's...we should spend all day together! He called this morning and wants me to come there and stay the night...said come at 4pm. I was thinking...why not earlier?? But of course didn't say anything. I know he has his routine of working out on the weekends and errands....but I guess I am feeling, that he wants me in his life...but only when I fit. Maybe I am wrong. I think tonight I will talk to him about my feelings. GRRRRRRRRR I am not looking forward to that....oh my..wish me luck.

I feel that he is lucky, and he say's he is. But just as I feel very fortunate to have found him.  Sometimes I wonder if maybe I should continue to look, but I am not the type of woman to date around.  Oh my....

Well..I am taking it easy today, a few household chores, but taking my morning very slow. I am having allot of pain at my incision site...so today is going to be a light one.

I will check back in later sisters...and again...Judie, Nancy and Jane....THANKS...everyone here always makes things better for everyone!!

xoxo

Lisa

my3girls

By the way....I was lying in bed this morning...thinking of all of you and Oprah. I was going over in my head what we should say to her in a letter. I know Mel has written once...but I think we need to write again.  There are several of you, including Mel that has such a gift with writing and expressing yourself..that I think several of us should write to her! Of course mentioning the whole journey with our dear Sue to the Emerald City..because we have heard how Oprah loves Wizard of Oz. Anyhow....I was just thinking that I NEED to meet all of you!!  I think we all need to get together and hug and cry and talk and just enjoy our sisterhood! It would do all of our hearts so much good!  I think Oprah is that person to do this for us!!

Just my thoughts!!

xoxo

Lisa

my3girls

By the way....I was lying in bed this morning...thinking of all of you and Oprah. I was going over in my head what we should say to her in a letter. I know Mel has written once...but I think we need to write again.  There are several of you, including Mel that has such a gift with writing and expressing yourself..that I think several of us should write to her! Of course mentioning the whole journey with our dear Sue to the Emerald City..because we have heard how Oprah loves Wizard of Oz. Anyhow....I was just thinking that I NEED to meet all of you!!  I think we all need to get together and hug and cry and talk and just enjoy our sisterhood! It would do all of our hearts so much good!  I think Oprah is that person to do this for us!!

Just my thoughts!!

xoxo

Lisa

honeygirl

Hi Lisa ((((((((((((((((Lisa)))))))))))))))))))). Sorry I wasn't here for you last night. And I am sorry about all the passings of recently around you. You just can't help sometimes , but to wonder will it be me next? I don't know about you , but after my surgery , I would cry at the drop of a hat! You have been through allot this year. Just try to take a deep breath and focus on the moment at hand. Right here , right now , you are cancer free , your children are healthy and happy , your dad is still with you and loves you very much , you have a great man in your life and relationships all have ups and downs.Do as you said and tell him how you feel. Its best to be up front with each other always. And you have a great job and LOTS of caring friends around you. And its Sunday and you are off. "This is the day the Lord has made , let us be glad and rejoice"!  You are such a beautiful and compassionate person. You are just having some melancholy moments. They will pass. I'm so glad I met you here , and can't wait to meet you in person next Sunday. Hope you are feeling better today , and have a great Sunday. xxxx Melody

honeygirl

Oh yeah , does anyone know when Fumi is due back?

my3girls

MELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.......oh honey thank you!! You brought tears to my eyes....and not sad tears but tears of happiness.  You made me feel so much better...you are right...I do have so much in my life to be happy about, and I know that...I need to concentrate on just that! I think I just needed a good cry last night...it was long overdue!  I can't wait till next Sunday too!!!

I am not sure when Fumi is due back...I thought she was going to be gone for 2 weeks..but I am not positive.

One thing Dennis said in his profile on Match..is that we should be able to say what we feel and not have to pay a price...so I guess that gives me the green light..

Have a great Sunday ladies!!

xoxo

Lisa

livesstrong

Lisa - sorry I wasn't here for you last night.  Also sorry for the loss of those poor ladies.  I HATE Bootface.

I was thinking about Dennis - has he been alone long?  Men sometimes get into a routine and for whatever reason cannot deviate from it.  I'm thinking that's what you have with Dennis.  Its not that he doesn't want to see you more often he just doesn't know how it fit you in.  They are a strange breed thats for sure.

I was thinking - maybe one of these weekends you could fly to NYC and we could meet. Nancy - how about it?  Let me know.

 Hugs,

AE

my3girls

Val....omg...I would love that!!! Even if it's just for a day!! I work all day on Sat...so possibly a Sunday morning...fly in...early! I could stay the day and fly back that night! I would really, really enjoy that! Nancy...you up for that??

You know what Val...you are 100% correct on your evaluation of Dennis. I was thinking about what you said, as I read it..and that is it! Thank you...I know he really cares about me, and wants to see me...but he is very set in his ways...so I shouldn't take it personally. He has been alone, except for raising his now 31 year old daughter (which by the way lives in NYC) since 1982!! That's a looooooooonnnnnnnnggggggggggg time.  Thanks Val...you really opened up my eyes.

Let's look at a calendar for a possible Sunday, if that works for you and Nancy...

xoxo

Lisa

Shirlann

Ah Mel, I am so sorry.  You have had a lot to deal with in a short time and given our circumstances, not anything you are prepared for, either.

It is so hard to hear of people dying of what we all have, even though we most likely will be fine.  It is so sad, their families, so young.

I am grieving with you.  Gentle hugs, Shirlann

sueps

Hi Sisters xxx

Hope you are all having  good weekend xxx It is so nice to read here and know what you are all doing xxx

I wanna come to NYC waaaaa!! Well I have been busy all day cleaning and washing my car ..... been to work all week and got a busy week ahead ... same old same old... I need a holiday...cannot decisde whether to go to the canary isles or to stay in Britain and go up to scotland for some time and down to London for some more .... One minute its a hot holiday the next one is a cosy sightseeing tour ... I would rent a lil castle in Scotland with a roaring fire and hire a nice car to travel the A roads... I love Edinburgh and beyond. Then the second week go down to  London and take in the sights there .... OR I can simply go abroad... I am so indecisive .... 

 Ideas on a postcsrd please. Of course I get my results on the 24th so cant really plan anything... I hate this mess xxx

I love you all xxx 

Ulla

hi girls..

it was a hard week for me as i started a new diet ,,dont know if u know about it(dr ian smith 90 days,,fat smash diet)

i am thinking about quiting it as it made me feel so misrable..i cant feel good unless i eat some bread or brown rice and there is nothing in this diet for 9 days..just fruits and vegies,,

i am so lost with my extra weight,,dont know wat to do to get these damnd kilos away,,,

i checked the WW BUT THEY ACCEPT only US dolars ..and the nearest group to me here in swedin is so far away that i cant travel to them ...grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

ANYONE HAVE A SIMPLE WELL BALANCED DIET??

I MISS FUMI..

SHIRLANN I LOVE UR POSTS..

LISA...MORE WARM HUGGS IN UR WAY SWEETY,,

MELL..UR WORDS MAKE ME FEEL BETTER

SUE LOOKING FORWARD CELEBRATING WITH U THE COMMING GOOD NEWS IN 24TH ,,I AM SURE IT WILL BE NOTHING HONEY,,,

EVERYONE ELSE..AE,JANE,NANCY,SHILLA,WREN,JUDIE,JULEI,,AND ALL MY SISTERS,,

THANK U SO MUCH FOR BEING IN MY LIFE

NancyD

Val that's a great idea! Do you want to plan to stay in Manhattan? I could research some hotels. Some of the chains like Comfort Inn have bought a few of the smaller places off the beaten track (read: not in midtown) and they might be affordable.

Or we could put Lisa up in one of our places. She'd have a room here with a sofabed and her own TV, LOL. I tell that to all my guests. But there are my eccentric brothers and my almost 90 year old father. However, chances are they would be away any given weekend (Dad has a girlfriend in Princeton, NJ)

Suzytoo

For what it's worth, my initial breast cancer diagnosis was 30 years ago when I was only 29.  Since then I have had three recurances including distant metasis AND a new primary.I've been told twice to get my affairs in order but guess what,,,,I'm still hanging around!  I DO take my situation seriously, do seek seccond opinois and DO follow up religiously on my protocols but I'm aiming for the world''s record for longest survivor.  This is a strange and unpredictaable disease.  Don't let anyone (especially yourself) count you out.  Listen to your body.  Allow your self the luxury of both good and bad days and remember bravery isn't measured by how much fear you have....but by what you do about it.

honeygirl

Suzytoo , Bravo! I am sooo glad you post here today. Wel ALL sure needed to hear that from you. And its so nice to meet you. "Bravery isn't measured by how much fear you have...but by what you do about it". Wow , you really touched me with those words. I have battled fear most of my life. I am writing those words down and putting it on my mirror. Thanks for coming and sharing. Hugs , Melody

livesstrong

suzytoo - CONGRATS!!  you go right on fighting the fight girl.  What an inspiration!! 

Lisa & Nancy - I could come in for the day - maybe drag UB with me. I would love to have Lisa stay with me but I have no room.  How does a Sunday in Octobr sound?  Let me know.

Big hello to everyone else - I see Sue is working to hard as usual and and Ulla is still struggling with weight issues.  Ulla - you are not alone - I have given up.

 I think Fumi is back this Wednesday.

 Have a great night everyone.

AE

honeygirl

Hi Ulla! I know its soooo hard to loose weight. I lost eighty lbs by eating no fat/low fat. I was really amazed by how it all came off. But now I am stress eating and can't seem to get back to it. Grilled / broiled chicken , fish , beef once in a while. Unlimited veggies , except for corn. Lots of water. I didn't start to really exercise until I had lost 60lbs. It hurt more that help when I was that big. Then I started walking a mile and a fourth on my treadmill.. And lift some weights. I had a half of a baked potato most nights with my salad and chicken. And I use a butter subsitute called smart squeeze. Its the best tasting to me. Sensible eating is the best way to go in my opinion. Good luck to you.xxxx Melody

honeygirl

Lisa , if you are in Warren tonight , I hope you spend the night. The weather is getting really ughly. Our dew point is 70! Which is tropical humidity. And we have a cool front coming to colide with this heat. It is very windy now. And we could get gusts up to 60mph. So stay put where ever you are! xxxx Mel

my3girls

Hi Mel...I am in Warren...and I am staying the night!! Dennis is very accomodating! My g/f called...and I took my cell into the bedroom to talk, so that I didn't interupt him watching the Browns/Steelers game. About 10 min into the convo...he came in the bedroom, to put some pillows up and make a place for me to be comfortable. Isn't that sweet?? AE...you were so right, he keeps telling me how much he loves me and cares for me...so I know that the time he spends with me is the time he has right now.

my3girls

I forgot....AE and Nancy...the only weekend that I know of right now that I will be busy in October is the 12th (if that is a Sunday). I will be in Chicago celebrating my middle daughter Alise's 21st b'day. She is going to Chicago to be with Danni for the weekend to celebrate her 21st!  They invited me to come party with them! Oh noooooooooooooooo! haha.  So look at your calendars..and I will plan on coming up for a Sunday. It's not necessary for me to spend the night...I can do the trip in one day!

Anonymous

Okay, so I sent a letter to Oprah. Between Mel and I, somebody HAS to stand up and notice. You are limited to 2,000 characters. That's an opening paragraph for me, as you know...wordy, wordy, wordy. She must get a gazillion of them.

I did my best

Judie

geebung

Lisa, I really agreed with what AE said about men who have been alone a lot. They do get set in their ways! Dennis does sound as though he loves you. I love sweet little considerate gestures like that...shows that even though he was watching his game on tv, you were still on his mind.

Could this be a choice between a safe, secure, live-in relationship and a romantic, see-him-twice-a-week situation? Some women prefer the security and predictability of having someone around all of the time and others prefer to have their own space and have quality, shorter times with their SO. Both situations have their benefits and I am not saying that one is superior to the other. I guess you just have to decide what is best for you.

Sue - I like the sound of the Scotish castle with a roaring fire. I would love to explore the far north of Scotland - such a wild, fresh place...You need a holiday girl - whether it's a hot beachy one or a cool northern one!

Wow - Val, Lisa and Nancy - a fun Sunday in NYC! That sounds fantastic! Hope you can do it soon!

Ulla - I really feel for you and your diet struggle. Please don't be too hard on yourself though - these strict diets - so hard to keep to. Yet I do admire you for your determination. I need to be more determined! Good luck with it all!

Mel - thank you for your beautiful words - you are always so uplifting. How's your hair?

Love to all,

Jane xox 

lvtwoqlt

Lisa, right now I have an unusual marriage situation, I have the safe, secure, romantic (ha-ha) see-him-weekends only. It fills my needs, I can do what I want during the week and weekends are with him, except when he tells his momma 'yes momma, we will be over Saturday to help cover the swimming pool'. The job that should have taken about an hour ended up as a 4 hour job, she didn't have the chemicals needed to winterize the pool on hand and they had to circulate in the pool for 1 - 2 hours each before they could cover the pool. We had a spaghetti dinner fund raiser at the church Saturday afternoon. I was supposed to be at the church to help cook the noodles at 2:30 but we were just leaving Donald's mom's at 2 and I needed a shower before I could even think about going to the church. I finally got there at 3:15.

I don't remember who questioned how long I would have the calendars. I will have them for a couple of months. If I run out I can get more from Katheryn. Nancy, I got your check Saturday and I will get it in the mail this week.

Donald had an interesting drive last evening going to Sandusky. Around Wooster OH, there were trees and power lines down and he had to take some strange detours through neighborhoods he normally wouldn't go. He even said he was watching a power line jumping alongside the road when he had gotten directions through the neighborhood and felt the power line hit the trailor, no damage done to the trailor. After they unload him this morning, he will be traveling to Youngstown then back south to Columbia SC to deliver in the morning. He does keep on the go.

Ulla, you asked about a good diet. I have lost weight on the American Diabetic Diet, where you have a certain number of meat, carbohydrates, fruits/vegetables, fats, milk that you can eat on a daily basis as well as regular exercising. This is the baisis of the First Place diet I spoke of earlier. You don't have to completly give up everything but everything in moderation. I will try and find the exchange list system as well as the amount of each food item on a per day baisis and post it for you. edit: here is a pdf of the exchange list for diabetic diet http://www.uaex.edu/Other_Areas/publications/PDF/FSHED-86.pdf

I have the diet plan at home and will post it later.

Sheila

my3girls

Hi sisters...I made it home from Warren safe and sound this morning. Thanks for all of your uplifting words of encouragement...I think Ae and Jane are right on the money! Thanks!

Sheila...I bet I passed Donald this morning on his way to Youngstown. That is near Warren. I bet he had a difficult time last night. The winds were gusting from anywhere between 50 and 81 mph in Ohio and Western Pa. I got home this morning to find my yard covered with debrie! Branches large and small everywhere. I need to get my sweats on and go clean up for an hour or more! Good work out!

Ulla...I am sorry you are struggling with getting those extra pounds off. It's not easy. Are you still walking like you were before? For me..and I really have never had a struggle with my weight..however I have always watched what I ate and have been active...but I have to move, a fast paced walk or run at least 5 times a week for 30-45 min. That keeps my weight off. I don't follow any diet...I just eat healthy. Try taking in more protein and less carbs. I would not elliminate carbs all together...I don't think that works well..because you end up craving them later..eat them and then gain what you lost. To me...moderation is the key. I stay away from processed foods and try and stick to whole foods, natural...tons of fruit and veggies. I do treat myself to things that I love, I just do it sparingly and in small portions. I wish you all the best...and I hope my few words help.

Jane for me there is not a choice right now for Dennis and I's relationship. I like having my own space and I have Olivia here. If our relationship continues, maybe down the road we would move in together..who knows. I just would like to see him more..I guess that is my biggest complaint. I know he is really, really busy with his work...and has his routines..and so do I. I guess when I don't hear from him often enough, or see him...I get that bad voice in my head, thinking..maybe he doesn't really feel about you the way you think. I know I shouldn't feel that way...and I have to stop thinking things like that...but old habits die hard. I was lied to so much...by the ex..(well..hate to call him that since it didn't even last 6 mos...I would like to erase him from my mind)..that I still question things even now. But I know Dennis is different...he is nothing like anyone I have ever dated. He is very caring and loving...

Susie Q....you of all people need a wonderful vacation!! I like the idea of the Scotish castle too! That sounds wonderful...can I join you?? haha

Judie..thanks so much for sending the letter!! Oprah's people...wake up..you have a great story here!!!

ok..off to do some yard clean up and then out with the girls tonight!!

xoxo

Lisa

lvtwoqlt

Lisa yes he did have a hard time last night driving in the winds. He noticed several areas were without power. He did make it home Thursday night, he was coming south and had to take a break so he got permission to go out of route and spent the night at the house then left Friday morning for Columbia SC. We got up Friday morning and he took the trash down to the road. As I was getting ready to go to work, I noticed that several dead branches from my front trees had come down and he helped to pick them up and put them next to the road also. sometimes it is good to have him around for the heavy stuff.

Ulla, I have the information about the exchange plan for the diabetic diet. If you would like to look at it send me a pm and I will email it to you, it is in an excel spreadsheet.

Sheila

Shirlann

Hi Sue, honey, I loved Scotland, we were only there a few days, but I was a McCrory, so I have deep roots (somewhere) in that country.  We got there the night AFTER the last performance of the Military Tattoo, I was so annoyed.

Hi Ulla, well, so much for WeightWatchers!  Darn it.  I like them because you can eat out, and I don't cook much anymore.  But Sheila sounds like she has a good plan.  Diabetic plans are often excellent, since they need to keep very careful track of your total health needs. How is your family, honey?  I think of all of you so often, how hard it must be to be so far from home and COLD, too.

Yeah, Lisa, it is hard to shake old fears when you have been so badly hurt, just takes time.  I don't know any other solution.  Just time, and see where this goes.  It is hard to meld two different relationships.  My son is trying to do this, and the woman he was seeing is so focused in her two girls, it is hard.  He met another woman, but she is a very light drinker, but he doesn't drink at all, just doesn't like it, or late nights, so we will see.  Hard to get two people on the same page, he will be 50 on Saturday. 

Judie, I did Oprah, too.  But never heard, she must get thousands of ideas, but I thought our's was super, especially since October is so near.  Maybe you will jog somebody lose!

So sweet of SusieToo to post!  What a treat to hear from a long term survivor.  But my mom's best friend still has her beat, when she died at 90+ she was 44 years post double mastectomy, and died of old age, funny, she still worried at each mammogram!   haha, I guess that never goes away.

Lisa, I agree completely with you.  We just have to see each other.  It is a must.  I know a hotel in New York that we had a few years ago, the Wellington, it is very nicely located, and it was a very nice suite, we had our grandson.  It had 2 TV's and 2 bedrooms was perfect for us.  I think the suite, then, was $150 a night, and it was in walking distance of Central Park.  I know I could get us a morning with Marci Beth at CBS, not to be on the show, but to see the set of the "Early Show" and the sets of the Soaps they do.  And FAO Swartz is near, and that takes a day.  It is amaaazing!  It has a nursery, with a dressed up nurse, and you can pick out a new born baby doll, and you get an adoption certificate.  It is two floors of non-stop fun.  I did not buy a thing but what a couple of hours!  So, if the hotel is still near that price, we can halve it because two can stay easily in one suite.  Separate bedrooms.  The lobby is nothing, but the rooms were clean and nice.  It was in Borat?  Remember, the Baron Sasha Cohen movie?  

But we will wait to get Sue's "All's well", which will be here before we know it!  Not soon enough for Sue.

Sue, is the "spot" healing up?  That is a big clue.  And keep taking your vitamins, I know it is hard to remember, but it is important since you are with so many people, and germs everywhere, but sure and get your flu shot, coming up, THAT you and the boys don't need.

Hugs and kisses to all my sisters, Shirlann 

 

portiasproudmom

Hi ladies.  I don't have much time, but I wanted to comment on your situation with Dennis, Lisa.  I was reading it, and it reminded me soooooo much of Rhuel before we were married.  He had never been married before (he was 39 when we got hitched), and he was unbelievably set in his ways.  He resented having to check in with me all the time (I would have thought he'd look forward to talking to me), and on the weekends, he never invited me to come over earlier than abour 3 or 4pm.  He always had his "guy stuff" to do early in the day.  Don't worry too much about it.  I'm sure he cares a great deal about you.  At least he tells you that he appreciates you and he calls you because he wants to--not because he feels obligated.  

Take care everyone.  I may bbl.

Love and hugs,

Karen

Ka-Loni

Hello There, My Sweeties,

Well, Today is my day off. And, I am trying to catch up with you ladies here. Boy! I sure am behind time. Ha. This morning I am going to go get my bloodwork done again. It is time! I hope I am OK. I been feeling a little sluggish. I think I try to do too much. I guess, I need to slow down some. Oh, I am going to get weight today. Yes, I sure I am still around 160 pds. Yuk! If, I can lose another 20 pounds, that would be great! I think I am going to start the Weight Watchers Plan. I hear so much good on it. I will wait and get moved first, and start it. Well, I have to start getting ready for the prick in my port today. No Fun at all! Yes, my Port is going to I hope. I will catch up some today. Bye.

God Bless,

Love,Kaloni  

portiasproudmom

Good luck with that bloodwork, Kaloni (I know you're fine, but it's good to have it checked).  I've been feeling very tired and sluggish too.  Mostly in the early part of the day--then at night I can't wind down to go to sleep.  It's frustrating.

I may write Oprah too.  Maybe they'll pay attention if they're bombarded with e-mails from us.  I think so many people would love to hear our story.  I still can't believe how close we've all become over the past year.  You guys are my lifeline!!

Love to you all,

Karen

roderadio

came across this room under the "please help" banner and it seemed appropriate to ask you ladies for perspective...please respond with what your heart and mind would say to do if you were in my shoes:  i found my first lump nov. 2, 2007...confirmed suspicious soon after by mammogram...had difficult time with support staff of supposed excellent local breast surgeon (nurses wouldn't return calls and when did so the excuse was that 80 other patients had to be managed), thus my biopsy didn't occur til late feb. 2008...due to surgeon being out on conferences and otherwise full schedule, i did not have lumpectomy til april 2008...diagnosis was

stage 1, invasive ductal carcinoma, histologic grade 3, triple negative, 1cm

i started chemo in june and completed last of 4 doses in august...began radiation on sept. 2...AND THEN FOUND ANOTHER LUMP sept. 8...had radiation onc take a look on 10th, she sent me to have an ultrasound same day...that led to a biopsy...prelim. results came back early next morning--cancer cells present...radiation onc cancelled radiation treatment and suggested strong possibility of mastectomy but referred me to original breast surgeon for examination...he suggested another lumpectomy then switched to mastectomy after the final pathology report came in during my appointment with him yesterday...he said he would be open to do either (lump or mast) but would only be available to do lump next tuesday...coordinating for a mast would take longer because he himself will be out due to surgery for next month and can't find a plastic surgeon to assist prior to his leave....so, i have 2 choices with him: 

have lumpectomy asap (next tues.) followed by radiation with chance of another lump developing

mastectomy with implant reconstruction not to occur til nov.

OR i could pursue a mast with diep flap recon but i would have to locate new surgeon and perhaps travel out of state if not out of town and risk lengthy recovery and terrible looking scar across the belly...

i swing from the immediate lumpectomy to the travel for diep...but am not sure either way...trying to stay positive throughout it all but i'm nervous about making such a big decision...either choice considered satisfies my desire to maintain cosmetic appeal and preserve health...the lumpectomy would be rolling the dice and hoping that another lump doesn't resurface soon...the diep choice would force me to think about reconstructing the one affected breast or doing both as a preventative measure...that, though, would mean i could not breast feed a future child (for which my husband and i planned by undergoing embryo freezing prior to chemo)...

this is getting so wordy...so sorry...anyways, some extra info to consider:

an mri done before the earlier surgery found a second tumor that proved benign (march, 2008), so the current mass in question is actually the third tumor in the same breast (all masses being at 9, 10, and 11 o'clock positions and near under arm)

tested negative for both braca

breasts are very dense (a to marginally b cup)

my mother worries that if i get the lumpectomy, i may see yet another lump pop up five months from now as it seems that's been the history of the three found since last nov...

i worry that since my recovery from the earlier lumpectomy was rough (seven weeks although the surgeon assured me i would be ready to play "handball three weeks post-op"), then should i expect an even rougher recovery from two major incisions due to diep...

ladies, what would you do?  lumpectomy now, mastectomy with implant locally, travel for diep mastectomy, keep one natural breast or cut both?  i feel like i have one week to decide the future of my health...