please help

my3girls

Well...the candles are blown out,,the cake has been eaten..well 3 pieces!  Olivia was very touched by the b'day wishes!! I have allot of cake left...anybody care for a piece? Shirlann...I agree with AE...that is not that terrible of a thing, and time has passed, time to forgive and forget.  Suebee...so glad you came here!  I sent you a pm (private message).  I am sorry about your bad news today.  Another surgery...not an easy thing to hear.  Including my port insertion and removal, I have had 5 within a year...more than enough!  I hope and pray everything goes well on Monday. You know you are in very good hands.  We are a friendly bunch of ladies here..and we all support and love each other.  If you have not read through our posts or seen our pictures..it could take you quite awhile! since there are over 200 pages!  We have dubbed this our JOURNEY TO THE EMERALD CITY!  Sue is our Dorothy, Valerie...(livestrong) is our AE..Aunt Em.  I am not sure if we named anyone else.  I guess if you have some time..you can look back through our journey. Email me if you need anything at all. I have to finish a little bit of packing for Chicago.  I am not checking my bag, so the whole liquids gel and paste thing is a pain. Especially since I have to have my hair products..to keep my chemo curls straight!! I will check in again tonight. xoxo Lisa

honeygirl

Jule , Doin the happy dance!yeahh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE NED! I'm so happy for your good news. Now , take some pics of those beautiful roses and post them! Hows Libby doing? Give her a doggy hug for me.xxxx

Welcome Suebee! Glad to meet you. But sorry you are having , yet another surgery. Sounds like it won't be to bad. Good Luck. I'll keep you in my prayers. Please , join us on our journey down the yellow brick road. We're all meeting in the emerald city.

OK everyone , I have to get to bed. 4am comes real early! Love to you all. Melody

Wren

Hello suebee,

Bummer on the more surgery just when you thought you were past it for a while. That happened to me two weeks after my bilateral mastectomy with expanders placed. I had severe bruising and had to go back in to remove more skin.

It totally was an easier surgery but it was like starting over again as I was just weaning off pain meds and had to go back to a higher dose for a week or so... seemed like I was on them for a month staight--and I got soooo constipated, so make sure you use something for that side effect... 

I do think your surgery will be waaaay easier and quicker, but it does suck to have to go back in. I'll be thinking of you... and hoping for no more leaks!

Welcome...

Oh, and that baby Joey--wow, so cute... I've never seen one at all before; simply adorable. How fun it must be to live around such wildlife.

Ulla

hi fro m the classroom i steal few minutes just to say welcome to dear suebee..u r so welcomed here ..sorry for the fast welcoming but i cant make it better now

i cant stay any more here..

i will talk to all of u later,,bye lovely ladies

love u all.

suebee92

AWWW you guys are soo welcoming! Thanks everyone for the little boost! ( I needed it! )

Lisa much love and thanks to you- I took your advice and started on a med for my wee little depression thats kicking in : ( She gave me the same perscript. you were talking about. Hope it works!?

I would love to fallow the yellow brick road! LOL if you all would have me?

well gotta go-- Get kids to school.

Talk to you soon!

Suebee

Ka-Loni

Hello, You all are great here. I pop in here and there. Melody, how in the world do you get those cute images up? I like the dancing smiley face. He is cute.

God Bless You,

Kaloni

geebung

Lisa - thank you for the yummy cake recipe. I can't wait to try it. Palm trees and Califoria eh? Good for Olivia - I hope she gets into Hollywood! (I'm sure she will be a level-headed, lovely star - no bratpack for her!)

Sheila - I can feel your excitement and I can imagine the wonderful reunion with your dear son. Have a fantastic time with him.

Nancy, congratulations to your dd on getting her licence. I have been through all that extra insurance for young drivers - 3 times! What a relief when they got their own cars!

Ulla - what an amazing story of survival and escape! I was transfixed as I read it - what an epic movie it would make! You are an inspiration to us all.

Sue, sorry to hear you have a sore back. I can imagine how hard you have been working. Only 2 more tx!! You are nearly there! I attacked my housework today and I have a sore back too.

Shirlann - I wish your d-i-l would forgive you. You were trying to help. Wow - if somebody  cleaned my house I would kiss their feet! I wonder what sort of m-i-l I will be??!

Welcome Suebee - I love your nickname! I'm so glad you have joined us. Come back again soon!

Hi and love to everyone else,

Jane xxxx 

NancyD

I agree that I would NOT take offense at house cleaning. (I would have relished the idea of Merry Maids coming and taking care of things when I picked up my DH from the hospital.) My older sister, who has been flying back and forth from FL to help me in my BC oddessy, has never been the homemaker type...ordered out more than cooked in, always had a cleaning service, but what she lacked in "housekeeping essentials" she more than made up for in being able to ask the doctors the right questions, get answers when they dissembled, and put the rest of the family in line when it came to my needs.

I say, to each of us there are certain talents given. Shirlann, you offered what talents you have...saw a need and tried to fill it. As Jane said, if someone sent them to my house, WOW, I would kiss your feet. I am only slightly better at it than my sister, so that indicates how much I abhor it. And it certainly has taken a slide since my BC diagnosis. Unless I tell my brothers and daughter that they must do a specific job, nothing gets done. I mean, don't they notice that the downstairs bathroom has taken on the odor of a Times Square mens' room? (OK, rant over).

So from my perspective, it's not an unforgiveable offense.

Hi Suebee...that reminds me of sweet honey candy, for some reason.

Back to work...coffee break over.

Ka-Loni

Hi SueBee, I am back! Welcome sweetie. I am glad you came here. These ladies are wonderful medicine. When I was first diagnosed in March 2006, I found these ladies, and I would spend hours on here. It is like home here. When I would have that darn depression kickin in, I would pop in on here and I would feel so much better.You know, I just had some surgery myself on May 1. I had a Hysterectomy. They took all my parts out! Ha! And, I have mean needing to take my Xanax which is an Anti-Anxiety drug for my Anxiety. And, also I do take every morning Effexor-XR which is a Anti-depressant drug. The Effexor-XR is wonderful for my depression. I am not sure what your going to be taking, but, it won't hurt to mention to your doctor about it and whether or not it would be good for you. Every one of us is a bit different. Suebee, I am here anytime you need me. You can email me privately, or PM me here.

My email is KKelley39@yahoo.com

God Bless You,

Love,

Kaloni 

Ulla

NOW SUEBEE..I AM HOME

I WOLD LOVE TO KNOW UR STORY IF U FEEL LIKE TALKING,,

AS WE HAVE ALREADY AN ENGLIH ROSE ,,OUR PRECIOUSE SISTER SUE..U R SO WELCOMED TO BE OR NEXT SUE AS SUE WILL FIFNISH HER CHEMO WITHEN THE NEXT 3 WEEKS WITH GOD WILL,,

DONT HESITATE TO COME IN HERE EVERY TIME U FEEL TO TALK WITH SOMEONE WHO WILL UNDERSTAND EVERY SINGLE WORD U WILL WRITE,,WE ALL WALKED THAT LONG,HARD TRIP,,WE HELPED EACH OTHER ,,SUPPORTTED AND ENCOURAGED EACH OTHER ,,WE WERE OUR OWN SPIRITUAL MEDICINE FOR OURSELVES..

ALL I KNOW THAT THOSE LADIES SAVED ME FROM KILLING MYSELF SO MANY TIMES WITHOUT THEY EVEN KNEW IT..

I KNOW NOW WHERE TO GO IF I HAVE MY DARK ,BLACK FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS,,ITS SO EASY..JUST SIGN IN HERE AND READ ALL THEIR POSTS AND LIL STORIES ABOUT THIER LIVES AND FURRBODIES AND EVERYTHING THAT COMES IN MIND,,THEN TO POST HOW I FEEL ..IT REALLY MAKES DIFFER..

IT WAS EVERYTHING FOR ME ..AND I KNOW THAT IT WAS MEANNING SO MUCH FOR EACH OF MY DEAR SISTERS..

I LOVE THEM AS MY REAL FAMILY ,,

THEY WERE A VERY IMPORTANT PART IN MY BATTLE ,,AND THEY DID SO MUCH HELPING ME PASSING THROUGH THE HARD TIMES ..

MUCH LOVE

sueps

Hello Sisters xxx

I hope you are all feeling cushdy and above water xxx

I have had 2 days off and they have gone like theres no tomorrow!!!! Washing....shopping....eating....eating...and erm...eating hehehehe

Welcome SueBee ......I am so happy you joined us.....please please post whenever... xxx

Lisa, I am glad Olivia enjoyed her birthday xxx That cake sounds devine!!!

Nancy congrats to your daughter...I am dreading my sons using my

 car....to think Dave can take his driving test in 3 years is one scarey momma!!! LOL

Jpann congrats a million times on your NED .....thats fanfreakintastic!!!!!  mwahhhh  xxx

Shirlann ...I wish you were my MIL..... I love you soooo much...

I love all of you !!!

I am sorry I am not around much....please dont forget I think about you!!! I am hoping there will be a balance coming in my life when work settles....and also when I stop these long deep frequent horrible catnaps!!!!

I forgot to post you a best bit from Saturdays  BRITAINS GOT TALENT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FquMEmrm4Fk

Its such a good programme.....xxx

Anyway HELLO TO ALL OF YOU.....I am having trouble to rememeber everyone...but I do ...

Sheila I hope you are having a wonderful wonderful day ...I am thinking of you and John xxxx

Much Love xxxx

Shirlann

Sue lovey, don't you ever apologize for the time you have on the computer.  I have no idea how you have juggled your life, AND dealt with cancer, it just seems like you are a whirlwind of ambition, strength, courage and still full of love.  You come when you can, we will all be here.

SueBee, of course you are welcome!  We are all sisters in this, and we can help each other get through this journey without going bonkers.  A little laughing, a little crying, me whining, hehe, and anything else you can't do with your loved ones, it would scare them and you wear yourself out telling them you are fine (when you are not), just to keep from worrying them.

Oh Lisa, I wanted a daughter soooo bad!  God has punished me for being sorry my third boy was not a girl!  But the dissapointment  only lasted for a minute!  I am so glad you are having all this wonderful time with your beautiful girl.

jpann, YEAAAHHHH, how we all love such good news!  YIPPEEEE!!!

Our Ulla, I hope things begin to be better for you.  I think all the grief and worry over your family no doubt has played a big part in your complete recovery being slow.  Lets hope and pray things improve.

Nancy, my congratulations too.  Girls are such good drivers.  I did something with my boys that worked like magic.  And I didn't realize it would.  I told my 3 boys that we would eventually have 5 drivers.  And we could not afford "extra high" insurance with even the tiniest accident, let alone a ticket.  Sooo, I told them each, any bump, any ticket, even parking ticket, and thing at all, they could not drive for 3 months.  They all agreed and wouldn't you know it, my oldest on the second day after he got his license, backed into a post.  Keys gone, He was heartbroken.  But we stuck to our guns.  Second son, 3 years later, FIRST day he could drive, bumped the front door panel on a light post.  No driving for 3 months.  It was harder on us than them, BUT we had 3 male underage drivers who never got a single ticket EVER.  And just recently, my youngest told me, "Mom, that was so good, I could tell my friends when they wanted me to go faster that I couldn't or I wouldn't be able to drive for 3 months, it was great!" 

So if anyone wants to try this, it sure works.

Love you all, dear sisters on this journey, we are half way through the poppy field, I can see the Emerald Palace!

Shirlann 

Newtoallthis123

I think this is

Ka-Loni

Hello, You think this is what?  It is a beautiful place for beautiful ladies like us. Your welcome too join in the fun here.

God Bless,

Kaloni

geebung

Sue - that BGT clip was fantastic! I loved it! I'm so glad you have had 2 days off. You are sounding great. I'm glad you are having long naps as well as doing all your dynamo stuff. You are fabulous!

Nancy - I'm with you regarding housework! There are so many more interesting things to do. My problem is being inconsistent - I tend to let days go by without doing much and then I have a cleaning frenzy. Like yesterday! I attacked the house, vacumming, mopping, scrubbing and it felt SO good afterwards! (Except for my aching back!) The time before that, I cleaned without my compression sleeve and that was not a good idea but my arm is great today, after wearing the sleeve during the cleaning.

Shirlann - I know what you mean about wanting a daughter. I would have liked one too but as soon as each son was born I was crazy about him. I wonder if I will get along with any future dils? I guess if girls are really close to their own mothers, they might feel that they don't really need mils...

I am very impressed with your handling of your sons' driving - wow! What an incentive to behave themselves when behind the wheel! My eldest son was in a bad car accident a few years ago and walked away with only 3 cracked ribs. I will never forget the 2am phonecall with a voice saying "It's the hospital here and your son was just admitted..." Surprisingly, I was quite calm...until the next day when I saw his car - it looked like a boomerang! He was so lucky. Boys tend to be a lot more reckless than girls. 

Love to everyone! You know who you are! 

xxxx 

suebee92

Hey everyone! Thanks for the wonderful welcome. I really needed it!

Can't talk very long, going to have a few cocktails and such with some friends.

Considering I have to have surgery Monday. ( for the second time )

I can't wait to actually sit and talk and get to know each and every one of you!

Right now I just need to go out and vent. I know it doesn't seem to be the right thing to do but

I just need a break from the family and home. Love them dearly!

Talk to you soon

With love,

Suebee

NancyD

Jane, I'd like to tell you about my late MIL. She was a real pip. She had FIVE boys, always wanted a girl and kept trying, LOL. My mother died in 1992, and my MIL became my mother substitute. It was little harder because she was further away, but she was never intrusive, always supportive, and I loved her dearly. How could I not— she was another redhead!

Even after her son and I divorced, I would talk to her several times a week...more than my ex, for sure. I made sure the kids visited her even if it meant I took them myself. She had "lost" several grandchildren through the divorces of her sons, and I vowed that it wouldn't happen with my children. I always thought she deserved a better life than she got, but she seemed happy with most of it. She died a few years ago of pneumonia, brought on by treatment for colon cancer. I miss her still as much as my own mother.

my3girls

Hello...I am in Chicago!! I have tried to post 3 times..not used to my daughters laptop and I keep doing something to lose them! posting short messages..haha.

Enjoying a beer and talking to my dear sisters while I wait for Danni to get home from work.

my3girls

I met Danni after I got off the subway. She is working, so she gave me her keys to her apt, and put me in a cab. She told the cab driver where to take me and which way to go! Haha..she did not want him taking advantage of me!

Jane and Shirlann..you had all the boys and I had all the girls. I wanted a son so badly! I was hoping Olivia was a boy. But when I saw her, I was not disapointed. I think having 3 of the same sex is very special. I have really enjoyed my girls so much.  They have given me plenty of headaches though!

Suebee..I am so glad you are here! There was a reason we met at the p.s. office. I am glad you got your scrip. You will really feel better in a few days.

My daughters little studio apt is so cute! She has nack for making even a small place feel like home!

Karen, is Portia going to try and make the cake?

Jane...I hope you like it. If you don't want the icing..that cake is good just with some powdered sugar sprinkled on.  It's not a really sweet cake.

I brought Danni 2 pieces!! She loves it.

xoxo

Lisa

geebung

((((Kaloni)))) - you have been through some tough times and now you are recovering from your hysterectomy. No wonder you have had depression but I'm so glad the meds have been keeping it at bay. You sound like a lovely woman.

xxx 

geebung

Suebee, I am sending you my warmest thoughts and wishes for a trouble free surgery on Monday. I think it's great that you are living it up a bit - good on you! I went to a rock concert a few days before my mastectomy last year and had a ball!

Lisa - great to hear you are enjoying your sojourn in Chicago - one of the US cities I would love to visit. The little studio apt sounds sweet! Have a lovely time with your dd.

Nancy, I loved hearing about your relationship with your mil. You have a wonderful attitude and I bet you were a great dil. I lost contact with my first mil. My ex was so antagonistic towards me that I think she was afraid to have contact with me. I wrote to her once and she did write back to me, chiding me for leaving her son! (Did she realise that he wanted to move his lover into the family home??!) I often think that I should write to her again and try to reconcile with her but I think she would feel too compromised. My boys love her and remember her on birthdays and mothers day.

Ulla - you are a sweetheart!

my3girls

Nancy, I admire how you are with your exmil. I wish I could be too. When I divorced her son, she did nothing but turn against me. I knew she would..and years before I told her that if anything happened to her son and I, she would turn against me..she said..oh no..I love you, you are a good dil...I would never! Well she did..and for that she doesn't even have a relationship with my girls. For the older two, it was because my ex fil called Danni a liar when she told him how he had verbally and physically abused us. How could you call your grandaughter that you know is such a great honest kid a liar?? Anyhow, they and their son, have missed out on about 5 yrs of the girls lives!! Olivia doesn't see her dad anymore either.  They have never even seen a picture of Matthew! It's all very sad, but we all make choices in our lives.  They had the choice to appologize and try and make things right.  Very sad.

geebung

Lisa, that is so sad. It's your ex's (and his parents') decision and they certainly are missing out - serves them right! However, I do hate to see innocent kids accused and hurt in these situations. Really though, it sounds as though they are better off away from such unpleasant people. You make up for all of that - look how your daughters love you! xxx

my3girls

Yes Jane I agree.  They really are not "bad " people..but they just can't ever admit that things were bad at our house and that their son did anything wrong.  I am a very different kind of parent. If my child is wrong or did wrong..I will not pretend they did not. I will not back them up if they are wrong..they will pay the price for their actions.

Danni has said she doesn't want to surround herself with bad people.  I understand that.

My girls and I have been through allot together. I am very blessed to have them and their love.

Going to get into my pajamas..it's been a long day!

NancyD

Aw, ladies, I think part of the reason I loved my MIL so, was that during the worst part of my marriage...just before and after the divorce, my MIL didn't take sides, but really did keep me sane by listening to me and, I think, understanding that her son was not behaving well. Nothing she could really do about it, but she did have morals that she felt were being trashed by her son.

Even after the divorce, she didn't want to meet my ex's paramour. She told him not to bring her with him when he visited with the kids. So, what did they do? He showed up with the kids on day one, and on day two the paramour called from the bus station in town. Technically, he didn't bring her. They thought it was funny; my MIL thought it was not. That was the only time she "met" the other woman, and it was a forced meeting not of her choosing.

Shirlann

Hi sisters, well, that is the sad thing.  I had without a doubt the World's Most Wonderful MIL.  Everything I cooked was fabulous (she was 10 times the cook I was), everything in my house was gorgeous (it wasn't), my children were perfectly raised (of course they weren't), so I KNEW what it took to be a good MIL.  She was always 100% supportive of me and Walt, a wonderful grandmother to my children.  Kind and generous to my mom and dad, just perfect.

So I know what it takes.  And I tried with my first DIL, who still likes me, even though she and my son have long divorced.  And of course, the DIL I lost to cancer was a good friend too.  I can't believe I was so stupid as to how I handled things.  If I had had the sense to say, "Oh Julie, you are so busy, let me have a cleaning company help out", I am sure she would have been delighted, but no, I was stupidly obtuse.  So for all the mother's of sons, learn from this.  hahaha

Love you all, Shirlann    

geebung

Lisa, I have a friend who has been married twice. The first time when she was very young. Her husband was a rock singer and had fans. The inevitable happened and their marriage broke up. His mother said she wasn't going to take sides but really, I think her sympathies lay with her dil and they have remained close for well over 30 years. I wish everyone could be as mature and insightful as this woman.

Have a lovely evening relaxing in your pjs. It must be getting late there so...sweet dreams. 

geebung

Shirlann, everyone makes mistakes and you have told your dil that you are sorry. You are one of these mature and insightful people who was only trying to help and it misfired. Your dil should have forgiven you by now. She is missing out - big time! Any one of us would love you for a mil!

geebung

Nancy - your last post shows what a lovely person you are and how fair and sweet your mil is. It's so nice to know that people can get along like this - I wish it could be like that for everyone.

portiasproudmom

I'm so lucky.  My ex's mom is a real sweetheart.  She still refers to me as her dil even though her son and I have been divorced for over ten years and I'm remarried.  We have always had a great relationship.  Now we're sisters in bc too--that makes me feel even closer to her.  She's been wonderfully supportive.

Guess what I did today, ladies.  I went into a store without a hat on for the first time.  That was a BIG deal for me!  I'm proud of myself.  No one even gave me a second glance.  I bought some temporary hair dye too--the grays have GOT to go!

Have a wonderful evening everyone!  Love you all!!

Hugs,

Karen