2005 ROCK-TOBER CHEMO GIRLS

maryannecb

RoseMarie

Oh WOW MaryAnne!! How beautiful!! So glad you're back!
V - so sorry to hear about your priest! How sad! Sending a hug across the miles!
Laura - Kiersten LOVED the AG store! She has "Kit" and picked out an outfit for her. I think we'll try to make it to the performance next time we're there. Have fun with your race car - you are too funny!
TracyNy- that is sooo me also! I have to force myself to stick to a task!! Lol!
Deb - you're sweet! I sometimes feel like all my education goes out the window when I'm dealing with my own kids!

When I had chicken pox my parents left me with a neighbor and drove up to South Carolina to pick up my sister who had been visiting my uncle & aunt. My sister never got chicken pox until a few years ago - she was pregnant!!! It was awful but thankfully the baby was fine!

Hope everyone is having a wonderful day! Happy St. Patty's day! My husband wants to go to an Irish pub for dinner - I think it's going to be NUTS!

maryannecb

Hi, All.

Can't stay away any longer. I am avoiding my paperwork right now so I ac catch up with you all.

My trip was great. Although we rarely saw the sun it is a beautiful country and well, how can you beat a week with you DH? We ate drank and were MERRY...

I returned to a mountain of work and big time jet lag. The time diff is 5 hours and I found it hard to adjust. Didn't have energy even to turn on the puter at night. It took me a week to feel back to myself( which is pretty much tired all the timeLOL).

I have read the past 3 weeks of posts and see Some things are better. All the "girls" are together again. Moving is in the air for Tracy, V and maybe Michelle once her renos are done.

Ravdeb, glad your scans went well and it seems this has let you move on. Hope you can get that body of yours to cooperate now. I join the club of soreness too. Both my hips hurt especially the right, my upper back on the rads side hurts and I have a dull headache most days. Under my arm seems puffier and each day I check for new lumps which thankfully have not materialized. I feel worried and it is hard some days to believe I will be fine. Lately having trouble sleeping again. I don't think I am depressed but I am finding it really hard to motivate myself to get anything done. I am doing the bare minimum at home and at work. Maybe Spring will bring better thoughts.

Rosemarie, OCD and developmental problems are tough, as you know. I hope the plan you now have in place will help you cope with Kierstan.When Patrick was younger I wished I had a group to talk to about his problems. He has entered puberty , big time so I have had some very ...interesting conversations, ..I wish his Dad were here.LOL.

Tadah, leave that DR alone, it looked great! I haven't touched my China in years. Got sick of washing it by hand.

I am sorry about your teenaged friend Mary. It is such a torture for her and her family. I know you will do what you can.

Good to see you Cindy, funny costumes.

Victoria, thank you for the "piece" of your heart. It has joined Debbie's angel in my wallet. I think of you both when I make change now.LOL. It sounds like you had a course of CMF while I was gone. Did you have a local recurrence? Why now? Sorry about your neighbor and priest. Ihate moving, hope you have a smooth transition. Will you be close to your old friends?

Laura, wasn't that you complaining of a belly? Well my goodness you have to work on your image problem. You have the body of a twenty year old, actually most of them don't even look that good. Glad you had a good trip with your co -survivor. Going South is so relaxing...the weather, the weather,the weather. It is not hard to see why Canada was one of the last places in the world settled.LOL.

Paula is going to have new girls!!!!!! I hope you are as happy as Tadah. My PS appt was delayed, it is now in April. I am pretty sure I don't want to mess with what I have but I will go to check out my options. In the beginning I gave myself 2 years to think about it, well that is comung up. I am amazed how the time has flown.

My MRI is Monday. The problem with the machine is there are a lot of Artifacts(things that aren't there) showing up...Sure hope they fixed it. I already have next to no faith in technology ahving beeen reassured about my BC. I am going to take pain meds this time so I am not in agony.

Graycie and Cathy cheers to you. Dosn't sound loke either of you have too many issues or concerns...

Amy, I am not a basketball fan, I do watch it from time to time though. Hope your team does well.
Kelly, when is your biopsy? When is your last Herceptin? Did Dave go with you on your trip? Nice pics.

I had my lung checked this week. My lung function is back to normal so apart from my cough I have recoverd from the rads.

Long post...

Hope it makes it to cyberspace!

Fists up!

ake

hi ladies,

kelly...i'm so sorry about the chichen pox. so random...i was just talking about them with my parents. i got them in kindergarten...we were getting ready to go on vacation and my mom went to change me out of my school clothes and there they were. i hope she feels better....glad she doesn't feel feverish or anything although i know the itchy part is annoying.

maryanne...love the pics....what beautiful scenery! so glad you're back and that you had a nice vacation!!! glad your lungs are okay too. rads really affect us more than we know! my skin stayed pink for months and months!

victoria...i'm thinking of you. i'm so sorry about what happened. sending thoughts your way. always here for you.

rosemarie...it sounds like the meeting was productive, and i'm really glad. once there is a plan, sometimes the control is there. don't forget in the midst of this what an amazing mother you are...some mothers won't be their kids' advocates. you're tough!!

i hope everyone has a good weekend. i'm currently laying on the couch at my parents. came down with a stomach flu yesterday (ah, the joys of working with children) and proceeded to throw up about 14 times yesterday. luckily, my brother took the train from nyc and then drove with me to my parents from dc to virginia beach. we stopped a couple of times so i could throw up and other than that, i tried to sleep. it was sleeting, the weather was awful, and a 3 hour trip from dc to vb ended up being 6. awful! we were supposed to go out to a great dinner tonight for my dad's birthday, but instead, i'm laying here in my pjs and feel like crap. ugh! i hate throwing up!!! my immune system is shot from chemo. never got sick like this before and i've always worked with kids. my mom and i are just relaxing together and shopping online

have a nice rest of the weekend. happy st. patrick's day to anyone irish!

Curlylocks

Good Afternoon Sisters,

It’s a bright sunny day here but a little cool, we also had some snow last night yuk. Next week is the first day of spring though, woo hoo….

We had another contractor come by our house this morning to take a look at our kitchen walls. He is the same one that we used to completely redo our upstairs ensuite a few years ago, of course wants to get more money from us and recommending ripping out all the plaster walls in the kitchen, completely gutting it, new dry wall, etc. He quoted us $8500 CDN to completely redo all the walls in the kitchen, install our cupboards, installation of backsplash, new trim on walls in dining room and replace some of the older wainscoting on those walls. I said to my husband OMG we don’t want a brand new house and cant afford to spend $9000 CDN (includes taxes) to do one room in the house this is ON TOP of the $4,000 that is going to cost for the new cupboards, counter, taps, sink and backsplash material. I phoned him back this afternoon and told him I had discussed it with my hubby and not to waste any more time on preparing a written quote as we are not in a position to spend that kind of money.

My husband is going out to buy the skim coat material and sand and skimcoat the walls himself. It will look decent. Our home is 50 years old so people cant expect brand new for the price that we are going to list it for.

We also have to get our electrical upgraded to 100 amp service which we are prepared to pay for and will have to legally to sell our home. That is $2000 as well, money, money, money…..isn’t there a song abut that.LOL.

I had a meltdown this morning while on the phone with my hubby. I get this fear sometimes that overtakes me about what the future holds. I cried buckets of tears and felt better. Does anyone else feel like this? It is probably because yesterday one of my coworkers lost his brother in law to pancreatic cancer and I was comforting him. Then I thought to myself that could be me, yeah I know…..positive thoughts but sometimes the emotional side of this disease is tough. Thanks ladies for letting me vent and voice my feelings.

My sister and I are going to see the movie Premonition tomorrow, will let you know how it is for those of us that are movie buffs.

I have worn my lymphodema sleeve all week for most of the day, today it doesn’t seem to be as bothersome, maybe I am finally becoming use to it.

I talked to our friends in Arizona and they are excited as they are coming here for a visit on August 4-11. It will be an action packed fun week, the trailer for a few days, Niagara Falls casino for one night, CN Tower and dinner in Toronto and just overall a few good belly aches. We get so silly together which is great! We are also talking about planning our annual fall Caribbean getaway (that’s where our money goes to more important things in life, haa haa).

Debbie444 – okay now I see it your red nose is cute now that I now what it is.LOL. How do you get volunteered to do such funny things?

Deb – great play on words. We are going to finalize the plans for the kitchen on Tuesday night and then everything will be ordered and the ball will be rolling. Do you have any good chicken recipes, we eat a lot of chicken and need some variety though?

Maryanne – love the pictures, Switzerland is so beautiful. How long is your husband working in Switzerland for? Glad to see that you made it back safe and sound. I hope that you are feeling better emotionally, yes maybe the warmer weather will bring a renewed spring in your step. I have been on celexa since last April, never been on any anti depressant before, I find it does help keep me on an even keel most days. My sleep is all over the map being shot into menopause and the #1 side effect of Armidex is insominia. I wake up at least 3-4 times a night due to hotflashes, most times I can go back to sleep but sometimes during I call it the “witching hour” 3-4:00 a.m. I lie awake for sometimes an hour before falling back to sleep. Is your MRI part of your normal followup tests? Let us know how it goes.

Kelly – poor little Teryn, hope she isn’t suffering too much. I didn’t think that you could get chicken pox twice as a child? I knew that adults can sometimes get chicken pox but it presents itself as shingles is that correct? Blow some warm weather our way, winter seems to want to hang on too long this year.

Rosemarie – hope your behavioural plan for Kiersten helps you and your family cope. You are a special mom and have a lot on your plate. I sometimes forget what I have done a few minutes earlier so we are in the same club of forgetfulness.

Victoria – big hugs and my sympathies to you and your family on the death of your dear friend.

Laura – are we going to get to have a ride or at least see your GTO. I know nothing about souped up cars or engines they just look pretty to me.LOL.

TracyNY – I always start something and then find something else that needs to be done.

Mary – my fingers are crossed that we get no more snow either. Our driveway is icy once again due to thawing and freezing, its gravel.

Amy – yuk the stomach flu sucks. I had that about three weeks ago and the throwing up is the worst. The stomach flu was going around here back then so that’s how I caught it. Hope you feel better soon.

Have a good Saturday.

Love
Michele

Graycie

I guess I get the #1 prize for starting thing's and never finishing them. I Have a real problem. I think it is AADD.......actually I think I have had it all my life. Very short attention span. lol I'm a little hyperactive too and can't sit still too long either.

Maryanne, Love the picture's. How much longer before your dh get's to come home? I'm glad you had a nice time.

Kelly, How's Teryn doing? I hope she has a mild case and itsn't itching too badly.

Michele, Wow, That does sound like a lot of money to spend if you are moving. Can't you just work a little magic to update your kitchen with paint, etc and maybe a new counter? Sorry you had such a bad few day's. The stress of getting ready to move probably doesn't help.

Amy, I don't follow basketball but my husband was watching some of it on TV. So sorry you have the flu. That had to be horrible being stuck in a car when you were sick. Flu is all around here too and I pray I don't get it. There is nothing worse than throwing up. YUCK

V, So sorry for the lost of your priest in your church. That had to be horrible if it happened during mass.

Rosemarie, I am happy to hear the meeting went OK. At least you can rule out autism now . Maybe she is just at that age where they start to rebel. I go through that someday's with my grandson. I think they try to push you to the limit sometimes.

Mary, We had around 4 to 6 in. of snow last night too. Now the sun is out and it is melting. YAY....I HATE THE SNOW. I have a little Irish in me but we don't do anything for St. Patrick's day.

Laura, I hope you finished your project.

Everyone have a Great weekend.

ravdeb

Amy..FEEL BETTER! I second the "YUCK". I have a fear of that because I had a parasite about 18 years ago and all I did was throw up for a few months. I get really paranoid when I'm nauseous..even when I was on chemo. So..FEEL GOOD REALLY SOON!

Mary Anne..YOU'RE BACK! Welcome back! Love the pictures. Sorry you have all all those pains. I'm feeling better. You must have taken MINE! My back hurts still and my neck and actually some other places but it's not disturbing me as much as it did before. It must be milder. Sounds like you had a good time. Glad you got to have this time with your dh. I'm sure it must be tough to get back to work, though.

Michele..I make chicken a lot too and basically put whatever I have in the house on it! I take all the skin off and I let it sit in some kind of liquid (usually wine and something else) for about an hour. I'll add stuff to the top like honey, jam, garlic powder..can't think of all the stuff now but I bake it covered and take the cover off 15 minutes early and put the stuff on the top of the chicken to brown it a bit. I have a new recipe I'm going to try so when I do, I'll let you know..with boneless chicken... I make it lots of ways..this one is new. In my opinion..it all tastes the same..just looks a bit different!

Good luck with all that house renovating. I think, that if I were to renovate my house, I'd want to stay in it. I mean..I have a fairly new house and we haven't even finished doing a lot of stuff..hey..it's not even all that new anymore! We moved in in 1991! hmmmmmmmmmmm......
We all, I think, have those moments (hours, days, weeks..) where something triggers us to think about doom. I also seem to get gloomy when I hear about my neighbor on his chemo for lung cancer, or somebody dying of some type of cancer.

I also wake up most nights and I'm not on any hormones. YOu have a lot going on with the renovations. I'm sure that is part of it, along with the hot flashes. I have hot flashes too. I keep a bottle of water next to my bed and that helps me feel better during the "tropical visits".

My mother in law once again stated to me that women don't do mastectomies anymore. I once again told her this was just not true. Then she proceeded to tell me a story about a woman in our village who bought the new water filter that some guy is trying to sell everybody. I told her I didn't know this woman. She said..yes you do..the one who had her breast removed. I told her I still didn't know her. She figures I MUST know her since she had a mastectomy, I guess. Frustrating...Poor woman..being referred to as the one with one less boob...

Kelly..How is Teryn doing?

Well, my cousin who is 23 is here in Israel and I spoke to her for the first time! She will come to our house and stay with us for a couple of days next week. I'm excited to meet her. She can't believe she is in Israel and sounds so cute! (young...very young! ) My parents want us to get on the video chat so they can see her. They've also never met her. We have had some family disconnections. Nice that one of the kids can try to mend that.

Cathy, Brenda, Jill, Debbie, Gail,RoseMarie, Tracy and Tracy, Paula, Mary...everybody..Be well and have a good weekend.

V...sending special hugs your way....

Anonymous

By best friend and I had chix-pox at the same time! We were both 8 years old. She lived right next door to me, so I climbed over the fence each day in my pj's and we played with Barbie Dolls! We were both home from school for a week, and it was a lot of fun.

RoseMarie -
I just knew she'd love AG place. That was so nice of you to set aside the time to go there. I think back to my childhood and there was nothing like that then. I was just happy to have ONE doll, and my doll only had ONE outfit! LOL It's so different now.

MARY-ANNE -
I LOVE THE PHOTOS! the black and white one...you should sell to a stock photography house! I love the fists up! Your hair is gorgeous! And those blue eyes of his...well...hmmmmmmm...LOL
The photo of me in my b-suit...I gained 8 pounds on Tamox. Even though I'm still a small size, I still have to deal with buying larger size jeans, etc. It's all relative. And I explained to my Onc. that if I gain 8 pounds every year while on Tamox...in 4 years, I will be 32 pounds heavier, and I am only 5' 4" tall. Don't get me wrong, I feel fortunate to still be considered somewhat thin, but this is all new for me. I have a jelly belly roll for the first time...it just didn't show up in the photo. LOL I do however, set aside my inhibitions and try to have a good time - regardless of whether I'm in a bathing suit or a business suit! Best wishes to you with your ps appt...I'm like you...not quite sold on the whole idea!

Michele -
Yes, of course you can have a ride! In fact...you can drive it! Hang in there with contractor hell! I sooooooooooo hear you! Today was spent buying a shower head, faucet, over-the-toilet cabinet, bathroom tile (many 60 pound boxes) and etc. But the place we went to was horrific! A total mess...and then we couldn't fit everything into the bc mobile so Roy had to have the cabinet on his lap - with his face shoved to the right side...OMG I was laughing so hard I couldn't stand it...hard to explain, but I wish I had my camera with me. We had to pull over and unload everything and re-adjust/fit everything back into the bc mobile, so Roy didn't have to have the cabinet in his face! LOL Hang in there - yes...I have those fear moments...triggered by the weirdest instances. I totally understand...sometimes I get very overwhelmed and think back to pre-bc days when nothing-absolutely nothing-overwhelmed me.

Amy -
Hope you're feeling better - and hopefully the warm spring weather ahead, will put a stop to the rampant toddler virus season.

----------------------------------

More responses later...I am exhausted and Roy just started a fire...and I really need to relax.

Love you all...

TracySeattle

Hi All! Happy St. Pat's Day!

Amy - sorry to hear you are sick - FEEL BETTER!!!

MaryAnne!! Welcome back! I've been missing you! PM me and we will make plans to reserve our room at the Marriott!

V - my heart and prayers are with you. I am so sorry about your friend...

Everyone else - Hi!

I have worked my little tail off today!!! My morning started out with the Daffodil Days event. We counted bunches of Daffs - 10 to a bunch, then we put 50 bunches into boxes. So we counted and counted and counted! It all went well and we were done in about 3 hours.

Then I had some breakfast with friends and after that headed over to my house where I packed up boxes and toted boxes downstairs so that we can load some of them up tomorrow.

Then I came home and unpacked boxes - got my office/craft room all put together - well, at least until tomorrow when I bring home more boxes! I did laundry and picked up some of the house......

Dave is gone visiting his Dad and sister - he shoudl be home pretty soon (8pm) so I had the day to myself which was kinda nice. He will be really surprised to see everything that I got done today!

I have to say - my arm is aching. I wish I had my sleeve - the PT hasn't gotten me one yet.

Tomorrow I will be loading up boxes and moving them to the new house. I am making good progress and I hope to have it all done by the end of next weekend!

I am off to watch some TV - have a good night! Sleep tight!

TracySeattle

Oh yeah, I forgot - I also went to Target shopping and I dyed my hair!!! I decided to go with a light brown (butternut). I really like it! Wonder if Dave will notice?

ravdeb

Okay, Tracy..picture time. We want to see your new hair color! You sure are busy! I'm so tired from reading all that. I think I need a nap! Good luck and be careful with that arm! I noticed last night that the place between my boob and my underarm..well..like from boob to armpit, is a bit sore. Probably also from all the stuff I've been doing. Nothing bad..

I'm actually tired cuz I had to get up and take my son to the train so he could go back to the army. And I was up late last night. Not sure what I was doing..waiting for my kids to come in and they didn't so I finally went to bed.

I need a new hair cut..I think. Some days I think it's okay and other days I just can't decide. Some days I think it should be much shorter and other days I ask myself where I got THAT idea from. Some days I think I should color my hair and other days I think...WHY WOULD I DO THAT?

I miss Target!

ravdeb

Spring is springing outside my window....

RoseMarie

Amy - I forgot to mention that we've been watching basketball like crazy too. This is actually a new thing for us but it's been fun. My husband has all his brackets picked out and it's been fun rooting for all the teams he's picked. I really hope you feel better!!!!!!!!

TracyS - can't wait to see pics of your new "do"! You stay so busy - you've got some energy!!
Michele - eek!! That is a lot of $!! And yes, I think we all have those freak out moments! Usually after a good cry I'm good for a while
Deb - that's exactly how I feel about my hair!! I still don't know what to do with it. I'm going to let it grow for now. I thought some of the curl was relaxing but today I just let it air dry - (I did add some curl "stuff" too though)and poof my curls returned! Today I actually liked my hair!
Ok...I'm going to try counting sheep again...:)

ravdeb

How many sheep did you count?
Wish my curls returned! I never blow dry my hair (Before bc I washed my hair every morning and blew it dry..without fail!)because I look like a puffy white cotton ball when I do. I let it dry naturally and then I pile the hair creme on. The guy who cuts my hair keeps telling me to stop putting that stuff on it but if I don't, I look like a fuzz ball! Today while I was out I was looking at everybody's hair and decided that this guy could shape it differently. Or, I'll just go to somebody else.

Am back to feeling overwhelmed with all the work and things I need to get done and I'm so tired after not sleeping much. I will need to take a nap before I can get anymore stuff done. I still don't have a b-day gift for my dh and his birthday (and my youngest son's) is on Tues. I just don't know what to get him. He won't be home on his birthday (he's overseas) but I have a guest coming and might not have time to shop. What to do? I got my son his present..clothes. That's what he likes. My dh is a mountain bike rider and every year I get him bike gear. But not so sure he could use that, and that gets boring! I wandered around..have so many gifts to buy. Bought a gift for a cousin that I need to send and still need to buy a wedding gift. I think the wedding is next Sunday. Don't even know why we were honored with an invitation. The envelope said.."to __________ (my dh's name)and his partner"..not even wife! And they know me, for goodness sakes!

Okay..I'm so tired I'm rambling. Hope you got some sleep, Rose Marie!

Anonymous

MaryAnne, welcome back. Love the photos.

Michelle, I've been on Arimidex since they took out my ovaries. So was that in August???

Teryn had the vaccine so she has a mild case ... all the bumps but none of the other symptoms. She has quite a lot on her face but she is not itching and we have benadryl for that if she does. I did have to give her one dose of it on Friday but it seems to not be itchy now.

Yes, you can chicken pox more than once. I had two mild cases of it so the doctor said the vaccine does not improve upon nature and since both my mom and I had it twice that this is likely why Teryn is getting it "again" ....

dEBBIE .... you should sign your dh's b-day card as .... With love, from "Your Loving Partner" ! LOL

Anonymous

ravdeb -
Gorgeous photo...what a view. Is it Lilac or Red Bud or ?

ravdeb

It's a type of tree...don't remember what it's called. But it's a tree and once the flowers are finished blooming (short time for flowers)the leaves will grow. Great tree for shade in our hot summer months.

Teryn is lucky she had the vaccine and has it easy with the chicken pox. Glad to hear that!

scottishlass

Hello everyone,
Feel like I have been through an emotional wringer this week.
Tuesday - my next door neighbour - lump in her breast - needed support - this was given in the form of words and chocolate. She went for a mammo on Thursday and it has turned out to be hormonal. Fab news but really close to home for me.
Wednesday - my dh's uncle who just got married last year to a lovely girl has been diagnosed with terminal stomach & lung cancer. So unfair. Seen him today and he has lost a lot of weight.
Today - my daughter has talked about school friends self harming. I do not know much about this - do any of you mum's or teachers have the low down on what is best to do - talk to teachers? talk to parents? or respect the confidence given to my daughter. Would appreciate any thoughts or info on this.
Anyway I am away for a medicinal LARGE glass of red wine and see if I can let go of some of this baggage.
Sorry to vent !!!!
Cheers Jill

ravdeb

Jill..so good to see you on here.
I'm sorry you are going through all that. Way too much! But..you got it in threes so you should be free of any more bad news for a while.

As for the kids doing self harm....I would talk to the school advisor about it and let her/him deal with it in the school as a school thing. That would clear your daughter and you from having "tattled" on anyone. And that would hopefully get her school friends the help they need.

Feel better. Hope the wine helped! Wish I could join you!

Anonymous

ravdeb -
It's possible that yours is a flowering Plum Tree as they are native to Israel. Trees...that subject really hits home for me! I love trees. Roy and I are tree fanatics. He has identified almost every tree on our property (hundreds), but few of ours are the beautiful flowering variety, mostly Oaks and Hickorys, which do provide nice Fall color. We cleared acres of undesireable and harmful trees after we moved in and have planted quite a few.

Jill -
Not a mum, but my niece also had some of that going on at her school. I bought her mom (my nieces mom, not the girl's mom)the book - Bodily Harm - it was recommended by a friend of mine who is a Family Counselor. Sorry about your dh's uncle...that's too bad and quite sad.

maryannecb

Jill, be careful with the self-harm problem. When my DD was 14 a friend of hers was having difficulties at home. She was quite unhappy. She confided much to my DD who is a good listener. My DD kept the details to herself but did mention that her friend was unhappy. I told her if ever she talked of harming herself to come to me or an adult and she would be helped.

Before long the situation escalated, the teens continued to try to problem solve. It ended with the young girl almost jumping from a bridge. My DD was the kid who brought the situation to the counselor at school and she received the needed help. It was terrifying for all of them.

A few years later, another girl started in the same way. I immediately called her Mom and she stopped confiding in my DD. This second girl was not a close friend of hers and I did not want to see her in the situation of Counselor without training again.

Jill nice to have "good" lump story, we are having lots of those lately. Very sad about your DH uncle.

I think that might be a wegelia bush Ravdeb...maybe?

I had Chicken pox in Grade three. The day before the rash broke out I threw up all over the floor im my classroom. I can still remember my shame.

Michelle, I haven't cried about cancer in over a year, I think I need that though, a big meltdown. Maybe I will rent a sad movie. I feel numb, always on the edge of expecting something bad to happen. I really miss my DH. He is not due back until May8- two more months!

I finally opened my mail which was stacked up for two months. Have neglected important deadlines but hopefully I will be forgiven. I just am having a hard time doing what needs doing. I hope I can turn this feeling around.

MRI ob good breast tomorrow, part of yearly screening. Pray I am not in agony with my shoulder like last time. This is the worst test ever, it is so uncomfortable for me. I am giong to take a painkiller and maybe an Ativan.

When I cleared my desk today I found the pic of Rosemarie, Laura and Ravdeb, it is a great pic. I can't wait to meet you all.

Fists up!

Anonymous

maryanne -
I love Wegelias!...Java Red is my favorite. I don't know if it is in a tree form though - I think it's just a bush. But not 100% sure. I hope May 8th comes quickly for you! Good luck tomorrow...will be thinking of you.

Anonymous

mary-anne, Michele, Linny...
I have to say...while in MX we met ALOT of Canadians. They were SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FRIENDLY and always "the life of the party". One gal in particular, was great! I kept running in to her in the Internet Cafe. I was in awe of and so envious of the fact that most, if not all, were bi/tri-lingual!

ake

maryanne....good luck tomorrow! take an ativan no matter what. why be nervous if you don't have to?

jill...i'm glad your friend's lump was okay. i know how you feel. my best friend's mom had an abnormal mammogram and it was all i could do to keep the panic out of my system. it's like it brings us right back to the begining.

in regards to your daughter's friend....are they cutting? i see so many teenagers who cut. i think the most important thing to do first is talk to your daughter...it's SO great she confided in you....ask her what she would want you to do, but most importantly...how she feels about finding this out, if she is scared, etc. it's definitely overwhelming and hard to understand. i'm not a mom, so i'm not sure what to do in regards to telling the teacher, but my main thought is that you definitely don't want to loose your daughter's confidence or have her friend's confidence in her lost. i would talk to the school counselor, psychologist, etc. i wonder if they're doing any support, talks to the girls about this kind of stuff, self-esteem, etc. in my experience with girls who self-harm, girls get so stuck with expressing their feelings, especially anger, to their friends and then being labeled a "bitch" versus keeping it all inside, taking it out on themselves, etc. i constantly try to empower my teens, help them talk about anger, etc. it's so hard to be a girl sometimes. talk to the school counselor...you don't have to name names, but let her know your concerns, etc. i hope that helps.

kelly...your avatar makes me laugh every time so glad teryn is okay!!

tracy...you are a busy woman...take time to rest a bit would ya?

i made it through the weekend sustaining myself mainly on pieces of challah bread. that's all i could tolerate. it's so strange to not be interested in food! my pants definitely feel looser and now my parents and my brother are feeling icky. i feel so guilty...i lived in my pajamas during an entire weekend that was supposed to be for my dad's birthday. tonight, i'm nibbling on little chicken nuggets from whole foods and praying it stays down. ugh! but, i'm number one in my basketball fantasy brackets in a group where i originally wasn't invited because it's a bunch of lawyers and they didn't think i knew what i was talking about ha ha!

have a good sunday evening ladies

love,
amy

Curlylocks

Happy Sunday Evening, the weekend is almost over…..booo…

It was a gorgeous sunny day today although still a little cool. My sister and I went to see the movie Premonition. It was okay and a little confusing in parts, almost like the groundhog day movie where he keeps waking up to the same thing….wont give the movie away for those that want to see it.

I came home and took the dogs for a walk which was nice as the pathway in the woods is starting to melt down and is now easier to walk on.

I had to buy a bark collar for our older dog as the lady next door left a message on our answering machine yesterday morning and said “would you please keep an eye on your dogs as she cant take her dog for a walk in the backyard as my dogs wont stop barking at her and are a nuisance.” She has always been a weird neighbour and owns little minature ponies that she also walks around the yard and she is the one that has geese or ducks don’t know what the heck they are in her house.LOL. She also has a few ostrichs and I don’t know what else. Our land is not even zoned agricultural so she could get into big crap for having those animals on her property. Her dog is a huge Doberman pincher which should be excercised properly not been walked around the yard. I know it is not neighbourly to leave your dogs outside barking, whenever my dogs do bark I call them in. I guess yesterday morning I left them out there while I was in the shower, big mistake on my part.

Her husband is one that in the spring and summer he will be out there mowing his grass with an old electric lawnmower or drilling and hammering whatever he is building outside at 7:30 on a Sunday morning. We have never said boo to them but they have woken my husband up after he has gone to sleep after working a 12 hour night shift with their noise a few times.

I have been saving my change and now have $100 U.S. saved up towards spending money for Chicago. My parents were in Florida for two months and Dad had some US
Money left over so he gave me it for $115.00 CDN.

Gracyie – I wish we could get away with spending very little money with paint and a new counter but our cupboards are dark and ugly. They have been in the house since we moved in and one of them is falling apart literally so they need to be replaced. I feel better today just had a bad day the other day, adjusting to a “new normal” is very daunting but possible. I also have an Irish background, my maiden name was McQuaid but we don’t celebrate St. Paddy’s day. We had snow on Friday night but most of it is gone from the driveway now just icy in spots.

Ravdeb – I use dark chicken thighs and a spicy mustard cerole sauce by Renee’s which is yummy, actually have some thighs in the fridge for hubby to make tomorrow night for dinner. I have never tried jam on chicken… I would love to pour a bottle of cold water on me when the hotflashes wake me up but that would totally wake me up then.LOL. How long do you think the hotflashes will last if you are chemically induced into menopause like us via chemo or is it the same as natural menopause? I should ask my oncologist this question when I see him for next shot in May. It sounds like it will be fun to have another young lady in your home besides your daughter. That is neat that you are cousins but have never met. Love the picture of the flowering tree, what a beautiful site!
My hair is so so curly, today I just put some “hair juk” in it and left it, the curls are everywhere….

Happy birthday to your son and dh next week. My hubby is hard to buy for as he is the man that has more clothes than anyone I know.

Laura – I have an aversion to driving other people’s vehicles since I got into that accident with my hubby;s truck, although not my fault, makes me nervous. I would love to sit in it though as a passenger. I;m laughing at your description of trying to get your bath room fixtures home, thankfully Buddy Love was crammed in there somewhere…. Thanks for validating my thoughts. Us Canadians tend to be a friendly bunch in general. I cannot speak any other language except for English although I have tried French as the company I work for has their corporate office in Montreal which is totally bilingual.

Tracyseattle – cant wait to meet you in August. I booked our room back in February, perhaps I;m not too excited about our get together.LOL. Be careful to not overdo it with your arm. I have worn my sleeve all week and actually today had it on from 10 hours am slowly getting used to it.

Rosemarie – hope you get some sleep. I have a crappy sleep all weekend, my insomnia is pretty bad even with a sleeping pill! Armidex is the culprit along with the Zoladex injections.

Kelly – did you have any problems with having your ovaries removed, what s/e’s have you had if you don’t mind me asking? Thinking about it as I hate the s/e’s that I get each time I have my injection every 3 months, feel like crap for a few days afterwards and I have pms (moodiness) but no periods.

Jill – nice to hear from you. It is tough sometimes hearing about others being diagnosed with cancer when we are survivors ourselves, makes you think sometimes and I seem to count myself lucky that I;m here most days. That’s a tough one with your daughter’s friend. I have no experience to offer you as I don’t have children but hope that this young girl gets the much needed help that she needs.

Maryanne – I think that we process our thoughts differently along this journey and everyone is so different in how they deal with things. I find that a good cry every now and then really helps me get the emotions out. I don’t do it too often but in the 2 weeks I have done it twice. It must be tough not having your dh around for such a long period of time, you will have to make up for lost time when he comes home. Good luck on your MRI.

Have a good Sunday evening, “The Race” is on, hubby and I are big fans.

Love
Michele

Paula15089

Ravdeb and Mary Anne - love the photos! Here in Australia we unfortunately (or fortunately) dont get the change of seasons. But growing up in Russia we definetely had it! So i remember the snow so well. And the spring, when everything starts sprouting... aaagh, the memories. I kinda miss the snow, but not the cold.

Ravdeb, were you in Israel in winter 1991-1992? That was the year we lived there before moving to Australia. There was a very unusual snowing in Jerusalem, i remember the whole city was incapacitated - traffic stopped, everything covered in deep snow. It was the most amazing sight - still blooming flowers covered in snow. I think it melted the next day though.

Victoria, very sorry to hear the sad news. Hugs to you!

Amy, glad you are feeling better. Isnt it funny, the chemo didnt make you throw up, but the damn flu did! I have a phobia about throwing up... dont know why.

Kelly, i loove your av. Makes me giggle every time! Do those rockmelons stand for Rock-tober?

I'll be watching the second part of that show tonight. Will post the transcript when its up on the website.

take care everyone! Thinking of all of you.

scottishlass

Hello,
I knew I was right to vent here yesterday - reading your comments today has made me feel much better (aided with the wine of course) Ravdeb - never thought about the "coming in threes" idea - that immediately made me feel better about things.
Ake and others - thank you for your experiences on this. What I did yesterday was to find a website about self harm. It had a bit about being a friend of soneone who self harms. I read it through and then sat Rachel down and encouraged her to read it. It almost described her feelings word for word. This I think made her feel better.
I have promised her I would not do anything without telling her first - however my first instinct is to tell the parents as I would want this to happen if the rolls were reversed. However I think this would blow the trust between the girl and Rachel and between Rachel and myself. However just knowing makes you think you are sitting on a time bomb. I am not surprised Rachel has been upset about this for some time (knew there was something wrong but could not get her to tell me)
Well I think I need to mull this over some more as I know that I cannot do nothing but whatever I do do MUST be the right thing - Oh Heavens!
Cheers
Jill

RoseMarie

Wow, Jill - prayers coming your way! Parenting is hard work, isn't it?!!
V- beautiful picture! Once again, so sorry.
Thankfully my LE doesn't hurt, my arm just feels tight with the swelling. The sleeve I can take, it's the glove that drives me crazy!
Deb - Israel is so beautiful!! Can't wait for things to start blooming around here!
Off to wake the kids...have a great day ladies!!

debbie444

Oh - its so good to have a resident analysisit - Dr Amy , you are coming into your own!
The weather here is bizarre - yesterday it went from 12 degrees down to 3 then back up again in the space of an hour. The hail is settling like snow and to top it all, there is a power cut at work so nothing is working! My magnolia is just coming into flower, hope it doesnt kill it.
I had a mail from a friend i havent heard from in years today. I think our last couple of years is bad. Her youngest child died last October and her dad is dying from kidney cancer, she has left work to stsrt a charity lobbying for all kidney cancer patients to be allowed to access the best drugs. So far she has enabled 10 patients to access th enew drugs, unfortunately her dad isne one of the ten. Just how sad is that.
Sunday was Mothers Day her so did absolutely nothing yesterday - Fabulous!!

Love to all
Deb

TracySeattle

I am with RoseMarie. I don't mind the sleeve because it can be hidden, but it is going to be really hard for me to wear the glove out in public. At home or at night would probably be OK. I did buy the tank/sports bra and have been wearing it the past couple of days. Not sure if it will really make a difference, but it is comfortable....

V - more thoughts and prayers for you. (((hugs)))

Jill - Wow what a difficult situation. I would be at a loss when it comes to what to do. Aren't we glad we have Amy!

Ladies! The flowers are blooming here in the great NW!!! We have daffodils, primrose, azelas, forsythia and all of the flowering trees!!!! Soon the tulips and rhododendrms will be blooming too!!! Rohdys are really BIG here, they are everywhere and so pretty! YAY!!! IT IS SPRING!!!

This week holds more moving for me UGH. My mom and I are taking a break to go to the NW Women's show on Friday. It is a lot of fun - Bazillions of booths with stuff to look at and buy!!! :-) My LE is bugging me - just swelling in my armpit mostly, toting the heavy boxes is not a good thing but there is no one else to do it. I will tell you that I won't have a house with stairs ever again!

Love you all, Happy Monday!