2005 ROCK-TOBER CHEMO GIRLS

ravdeb

Hey Graycie..
Hope that your daughter's mammo comes out clean.

So sick of this worry!

ravdeb

What a great picture, Debbie. How fun! You sure find places to have a good time at! Water rave sounds like fun. Let us know how it went!

I guess I'll need to wait for grandkids to start my fun all over again! My baby is 17 :-)

So, you don't think 3 weeks is a long time? It took one and a half days for my lump to be biopsied. I don't remember how long it took for the final path report on the lymph nodes but the frozen section part of it...they told me as they wheeled me out of recovery...

Three weeks seems exaggerated. I will bug them for results and then they will be sick of me and hand them over!

Anonymous

Debbie, we are going to have to change your name to Miss Adventure! Have fun at Water Rave.

Tracy, so sorry about your scare. Sometimes, I wonder if I just shouldn't have had the bilateral mast instead of just having one off. I don't know if I can handle these tests over and over.

Good luck, Graycie and Ravdeb ... hope your 'babies' are in perfect health.

maryannecb

Hi to All,

what a busy week with appoitments for all.

I had Herceptin yesterday and have felt miserable ever since. But tomorrow is another day so I am hoping it will pass. Kelly do you have any SE from Herceptin? Only 4 more months then I'll be homefreee.

Paula, your hair looks great. Mine is very wavey and I know will end uo like yours. I feel like little orphan annie. I am no exactly complaining but it is surely different than my usual hair.

Rosemarie my insurance company called to say my doctor told them I would be going back to work in August,. I said well I went back in May aren't you pleased. I am working a little less than I did before so am still entitled to some benefits. Sure enough they want every itty bitty piece of paper to prove what I have and have not done....arrrggghhh I hate paper work. I amay just skip it as i hate it so much.

Laura I had mammo and MRI to check my breast in follow up. both were good. I will never be comfy though as radiologically my tumor was "fibrocystic" on all three tests...Only biopsy told the truth.

Tracy your mammo week sounds like pure torture. I am glad you are at the end and all is well.

Laura, how did your CT go?

Tadah--40. You are 5 years younger than me. I felt young at 40. When I turned 45 this year it was the first time I thought, wow I am middle aged. Take your celebrations to the end of the month. You deserve it.

Kelly, so emotional. I am glad your Mom was with you. I do most of my appointments and tests by myself. I am fairly tough and really don't need anyone. But maybe I do, sometimes I feel very alone and scared.

My surgery was Sept 27. One week after cancer was confirmed. That whole first month is pretty much a nasty blur. God help us all from ever facing this again.

Debbie I am getting jealous of all your holidays and trips with the kids. Do you ever rest?

Ravdeb I hope all goes well with PS.

Brenda nothing wrong withg120 and 5'. You sound perfect. Are you able to start your job. Did you work out your troubles?

Fists up!

Anonymous

I have been visiting my classroom a little bit at a time. I saw my principal for the first time yesterday since summer. We "chatted" through our car windows. Then I had a stomach ache.

Am I ready for this? Heck I am. Stomach ache or not, here I come, bring it on. I am ready.

The teachers' first day is Wednesday, the 30th. My new kids come in on the Fifth of September, the day after Labor Day.

marymelodi

I should change the title of this post to "Still On Vacation". Tomorrow is my sailing adventure. We'll be meeting first for lunch in Ithaca and then going about 40 miles west to Watkins Glen, to the Seneca Lake Marina. I am excited. Hope the weather and wind are perfect!!

So sorry for the worries that some of you are having with family members tests. I join with everyone else is praying these will be quickly and happily resolved.

Good luck and have fun to those that are partying and enjoying life's celebrations and events.

To all of us, I wish good health and peace in our hearts. I'll write again tomorrow to tell you how it was on the sailboat.

Mary

TracySeattle

MaryAnne - My surgery was on Sept 27th too!

Mary - Sailing!!!! FUN!!! I have never sailed before, but would love to try it!

Deb and Graycie - prayers for your daughters! It is so hard to watch our kids deal with these kinds of things.

I got thru my first Aquafest meeting as President - we got my board elected and now we are just sailing along.... The rest will be easy.

Tomorrow I am volunteering for the Komen 3 Day. I am so excited to be meeting more of our bc sisters!

Love you all!

ravdeb

Good Morning Ladies...

I'm thinking about our water girls today..that would be Debbie at the Water Rave stuff and Mary on her sailing adventure. How cool!!! Can't wait to hear how these all went!!!!

Tracy...congrats on getting your board elected! Now you've got great people to work with. Good Luck!!! So proud to know somebody like you with such leadership skills!!!

Maryanne..Where's your new avatar with the wavy hair?
I'm not surprised when you say that you are pretty tough and can do the appointments on your own. I went through each and every appointment with my husband except for when I first found my lump. I went on my own. The truth is, I could probably do much of it on my own if the cancer center wasn't so far away. I don't like driving and that's the only way to get there. So, I'm having my mammogram/US done closer to home and will go on my own where I have no problem driving there. I'm also taking care of my daughter's problem and I prefer to do a lot of this myself. Of course, I am grateful that my dh was around and could do all the paperwork for me..that is something that I suffer through and here everything is in Hebrew. I can read the Hebrew but it takes me forever and then I have to fill out stuff and my Hebrew spelling is not the best since I hardly use it.

I'm still basking in vacation-mode. My energy level is higher than it's ever been and though I still have those dang aches and pains, I am so much better emotionally and not nearly as tired as I was before vacation. And well..I'm just a happier person at the moment!

I feel so relieved after last year's experience. I feel like I can start fresh, decide what I want to do and how I want to approach things. I feel like I have choices on where I want my life to take me. I never felt that before. I feel stronger emotionally than I've felt in a long time. I do feel I'm still in the after effects of vacation, and maybe I'll hit earth one of these days, but I'm storing last year's "stuff" in a drawer where it will be hard to get to (that drawer is in my mind) and I'm starting new.

We have the Jewish New Year coming up in September, which is my month of diagnosis...Diagnosis of bc Sept 5th and then Sept 22nd had snb and margins done. I think the Jewish New Year is a great time to start fresh, huh?

ake

i met my oncologist on rosh hashanah (she is jewish too) and started chemo on yom kippur. i found that to be very significant

Anonymous

Here's a prayer that my mother sent to me. It's worn out and old, but hope you'll have the time to read it. It's a beautiful Christian prayer, and if you're not of the Christian persuasion it should work for you too if you want to substitute words for Jesus, etc.
Anyway, here it goes:

ake

laura? any news??

ravdeb

Amy..I always find that certain days or whatever, make things a bit more meaningful...or coincidental?

RoseMarie

Hi everyone, thinking about Laura!!! Hope you are all having a wonderful and relaxing weekend! I had about 30 minutes to myself out on our deck, drinking a cup of coffee and reading - I wish my kids would sleep past 7:30!!!
Now I've had too much coffee and I'm worrying about Laura...

Anonymous

Hi Girls -
Wow - I missed a lot of news the past few days! My Onc. hasn't called yet!!!!! I was going to call him yesterday - so I wouldn't have to freak out all weekend - but I could not force myself to dial his frickin' number. I am such a chicken shit! I'm 50/50 - no news - good news?!?! Yesterday, as a distraction, me and Sydney (my 14 yr.old niece) went to the Aveda Salon. I had a pedicure and she had a teen back-to-school facial! It was fun. Anniversary was fun - we went out for dinner. Last year at this time...I'd had the Mast. and was two weeks into recovering from it - ouchy wow, wow, I have not forgotten that pain!

Rosemarie -
I was composing this post as you were sipping too much coffee! LOL Thanks for thinking about me.

TADAH -
Happy belated birthday to you! Have fun this weekend!

Amy -
I love the poster! She did a great job putting it together!

ravdeb -
I'm hoping and praying it's benign and that everything goes well re: your daughter. Along with world peace - we need a vaccination/cure for this monster.

Brenda -
Love the pooch!

marymelodi -
Did you get your results yet...I scrolled through the last few days of messages...unless I missed it. Or were you just having too much fun sailing to be bothered with results! LOL

maryanne -
I am all too familiar with "fibrocystic" issues. I'm convinced if it wasn't for my Dr. blaming all my lumps, pain, etc. over the last few years on that - my 3.9cm tumor wouldn't have had an opportunity to get so big and be so invasive.

Everyone - hope you're all having a good weekend. Thanks for the thoughts and the prayers. You're great!

Laura

TracySeattle

Hi All,

I volunteered at the Komen 3-Day walk yesterday (and again tomorrow). I have to tell you what an inspiration it was to me to see 3300 walkers that have dedicated themselves to walking 60 miles in 3 days to find a cure for Breast Cancer. They were just finished with Day 1 and I saw so many sore and tired feet.... Some of them were still receiving chemo and walking--I could never have done that!

I watched part of the show that was presented for them after dinner. I stood there and cried as women got on stage and talked about their experience with bc... I am going to be a MESS at the closing ceremonies tomorrow. I have heard that the walkers all come into the ceremony - they all line up making a walkway for the survivors, then they all take off one shoe and hold it in the air creating a tunnel for the survivors to walk thru. I am crying as I type this! Then all of the survivors all take off one shoe and hold it in the air in rememberance of those who did not win the battle......

I thought of each and every one of you yesterday. I wish I would have had all of your names on the back of my shirt so that everyone could see the women in whose honor I volunteer my time for.

Hope you are all having a good weekend....

Graycie

Laura, I am sorry you still haven't gotten your results yet. I hope that "No new's" is good news.....Don't ya think they would have called you by now if it wasn't? That is still awful they are putting you through all this waiting. They should realize how worried you are. I'm getting mad can you tell? lol....OKay, simmer down Gail.....Enjoy your weekend and try not to worry .....

Graycie

Tracy, you are such a wonderful person. I think that is so nice of you to be there represently all of us. I am the same way, it is hard for me to hold back the tears just hearing about it. I can just imagine what it would be like to be there...I am definitely going to try and do a walk when one comes to Buffalo.....
Graycie

TracySeattle

I would really like to have each of your birthdays (just month and day--no need to share the year!).

Please send me your BD - you can PM me or post here as I am sure that everyone else would like to have them as well....

Can you tell that I am updating my address book? You can PM me your address too, that way I will have them all when the CD is ready to mail!

debbie444

Tracey - i had been thinking the same! I felt awful that i missed Tadahs birthday. I would like them too!
Debbie

ake

hi ladies,

i'm in richmond with my best friend for her baby shower. my other best friend is here too and just told us she's pregnant. having some sad feelings, obviously, because i can't really join in the conversation or know it is going to happen to me anytime soon. but, i'm holding it together. i'm just hypersensitive to anything that makes me feel different and having my 2 best friends pregnant at the same time is hard. my husband squeezed me when i got upset and said, "i'm your baby. that's all you need" i love that guy.

my birthday is dec. 5th. i'll be 30 this year and so excited

laura...i'm sorry you have to wait through the weekend. i'm leaning towards no news is good news, so try to hang in there and know it's almost monday. just one more day. and call first thing in the morning...it'll make you feel better than just waiting for the call. and honestly, if you do call and they say they still don't have the results or something, tell them it's too bad...they need to get them because it's too emotional to wait. sometimes the offices just don't understand how hard it is for us.

i hope everyone has a good weekend!

love,
amy

Anonymous

Amy, you sound like you have one of the most wonderful husbands ever! I am happy that you found him and that he is so supportive of you. Personally, I think when the time is right, your doctor will let you know when it's safe to get pg. If not, there are so many beautiful babies worldwide that need a loving, safe place to be. Your arms and those of your husband are safe indeed.

Laura, give yourself some hugs and imagine us all hugging you so tight and we can all sit together on the edge of the bed and wait by the phone with you. But I bet it's good news.

ravdeb

My bd is December 1st and I'll be 52!!!! OMG!

I'm happy about that and I plan to celebrate big-time because last year I was in an isolated room in the hospital!!!

Tracy, I've told you this in e-mails, but I want the rest of the Ladies here to know how proud I am of you for doing all that you can for bc. I'm honored that you think of each of the ladies here on the board and that I'm one of those ladies you think of. Your passion is contagious and I know that we all feel what you feel in your heart. You are a great woman and a tough woman!!!!

Amy.. we each have our time for having babies. You have a great supportive husband, and right now, that's a good thing. Your time will come! I can understand your feelings when you hear and see your close friends doing what you wish to do. But ya know...you are newly married. Just enjoy THAT!!!!! It's a wonderful place to be in. I can sorta remember that..hard though! Just kidding!!! My dh and I just celebrated our 24th wedding anniversary!! OMG!

Laura..we are all here waiting along with you....

soooooooo... I have some strange sensations between my arm pit and my breast (side of lumpectomy and snb). What do you think it could be? I'm going for my mammo in another week. Should I actually see a doctor first before getting smashed???

hmmmmmmm...not REALLY worried. No lump or anything..was more thinking it could be lymphedema, and I'm not too thrilled about that idea.

debbie444

Ravdeb - I have strange pains there too. They told me it was trauma and damage from the op and scar tissue from the heommarrage ( must learn to spell that!) I feel really strange about you all having mammos. My last one was in April 05, when they found the cancer, my next will be Jan07!
Amy, i really feel for you. I lost my first two prtegnancies, the first was a miscarriage and the second an ectopic. At the time EVERYONE else was pregnant ( or semed to be!) I worked in a building society and was working with 6 pregnant women. Your time will come - enjoy your time with your hubby - he probably doesnt want to share you yet anyway!
Water rave - HMMMMMMMMMMMMMm. I woke that morning feeling awful and the kids decided they would go without me. On the way in we met some friends so i went to sit on the balcony with a coffee and all of the kids went in together. I am SOOOOOOOOO glad i didnt go in! Imagine the largest inflatable assault course ever, inflatable boats, loads of teenagers in teeeny bikinis, staff with hosepipes, flashing lights and club music really loud!The kids enjoyed it . It was slightly marred my Mark getting bullied in the changing rooms ( not sure who it was as they darent come out of the changing rooms as i puffef myself up into scarey mum and stood outside the door!)
My balloon ride tomorrow if the weather keeps up, then to the coast.

Laura,

Let us know as soon as you know.

My birthday is 6th Feb and i will be 35, also my 14th wedding anniversary - my poor hubby didnt know what he was getting!

Anonymous

Tracy, ravdeb is right! We are all so proud of you and what you are doing for us and for breast cancer! It's not easy to face that beast so often. Many of us try to hide from it as much as we can. I am amazed sometimes, when I realize it has been an hour or two when I didn't think of cancer. Right now, it's too hard for me to volunteer (except the upcoming walk) since it is still dominating my thoughts.

Laura, it's Sunday morning ...... hang on. We're still hugging you!

marymelodi

My dear friends:
You are "dear" to me, you know. I am joining in with all the recent sentiments . . . Laura, we are thinking and praying that all will be well. No, I do not have my results either. On Tuesday I am going to see my radiation oncologist for the next 3-month check-up and I'm hoping she will have the report. If not, then I see my primary care doc in mid-September. I know she would call me if there was anything to be concerned about. So, I will wait. Since I have already had one follow-up that was "good" I'm choosing to believe that the same report will come from this last scan.

Tracy, remember how I told you once that you were like a beautiful butterfly that had come out of a cocoon? Well, I'm beginning to think my analogy was too small. Are you instead a phoenix-like bird of beauty rising into a new life of hope, happiness, and service to you freinds and community? You are indeed a woman of inspiration.

Birthday: January 19, 1953. On my next birthday I will be 54 years old. That is startling to see in print!

Amy: your feelings about being around your pregnant friends are very familiar to me. I never did have my own children and at times it seemed like everyone around me was pregnant. There have been many times that I was unable to participate in any conversation because they were all about some kind of the mothering experience. I know the ache in your heart. I won't tell you that it gets better because it didn't for me. In the last year or two I became aware of a concept called "a mother's heart." Anyone can have the heart and attitude of a mother - it's a choice one can make to be a caretaker of any child that may come into your life for however brief a time. It's a choice of how to approch the world and the problems to be solved. You are so smart and self-aware that I think you might be able to understand this better than I do. At any rate, the energy, attitude, and positive approach you have taken to the past year of your life tells me that you will apply those same qualities to whatever new problems you might face. When you do become a mother, however it happens, I hope I still know you so that I can send you some kind of knitted sweater, blanket, or socks for your child. I will be so happy to knit for "Amy's baby."

My sailing adventure got canceled because we had storm clouds roll in on Thursday night and by Friday morning thunderstorms were all around. The boat captain said we should not go out on the lake in that weather and I was fully in agreement. I still did meet up with my best friend and we spend a very enjoyable 24-hours together. We went to the Finger Lakes anyway and looked at sailboats and talked to sailors. He has just completed a course in sailing and now wants to buy his own boat. We had a lovely dinner on Friday night, explored a resort area nearby, walked around different parts of the marina, got lost trying to find ice cream late at night, and as we drove back to the motel in the rain sang show tunes at the top of our lungs. We were 2 crazy middle-aged looneys! Yesterday we went to another area in the Finger Lakes to the so-called largest Amish marketplace in New York (I don't know if that is true) and shopped and shopped and shopped. He was looking at furniture, having recently re-painted the interior of his house. I was looking at the stunning quilts and other handmade textiles. I was also very taken with some of the rocking chairs, but did not buy one since my friend's small car would not have carried it back to my big van. At any rate, it was a lovely outing. Not what we planned, exactly, but still very enjoyable. We said we will make another reservation for the sailing excursion and so I will see that we do.

Oh wow, I had a lot to say. What else to do on a rainy Sunday morning?

love you all,
Mary

ravdeb

Debbie..whatis heomarrage or whatever you wrote? As far as I know, I had no problem and just a lumpectomy and snb with one node removed. At any rate, my bc sister here in Israel told me to go to my surgeon so I guess I'll do that.

Still trying to get a hold of the ps for my daughter's little surgery to remove her mole. UGH. I don't know why they won't answer. They told me the doctor and secy would be in the office this afternoon. The hospital keeps sending me to the office but all I get is the answering machine. Left my phone number and still nothing. BUGS ME! It bugs me because my daughter was told that he's only there today and then again on Wed. Frankly, I don't want to wait too long. I may just take her to a regular surgeon.

I went on a melanoma forum and one girl said she had all her moles removed by a ps and then a dermopathologist did the biopsy. I am doubtful we are that specialized here.

I'm going crazy. Tomorrow I will call the skin doctor and see what she thinks I should do. I'd hate to have my daughter get some ugly scar but on the other hand, the skin doctor said not to wait too long. I'm so upset with this!!!!

Mary..sorry your boating trip didn't turn out as you had planned but sounds like you had a great day anyway!

Debbie... sounds good that you stayed on the balcony. Can't wait to hear about the balloon ride. That sounds totally exciting!

laura...still hoping all is well.
You, too, Mary! didn't forget ya!

TracySeattle

Hi Ladies!

Thanks for all of your sweet words. I don't know what to say. I am just doing what I feel that I am being called to do.... I have to tell you that right now, the thought of 6 or 7 hours standing in an asphalt parking lot on a hot day are not appealing to me! :-) But I am sure it will be fun and rewarding as well. Besides, I have my Rock-Tober Chemo Girl shirt and an awesome pink cowboy hat with flowers to show off! Next year I think I will ask for something other than traffic, though! :-)

My birthday is March 25 - I will be 51. I ushered in 50 with cancer and a divorce, wonder what 51 is going to hold in store for me?

Mary - I am so glad that you had a nice time with your friend. Sorry about the sailing but it still sounds wonderful!

Laura - I am hugging you tighter than anyone.... You are gong to be just fine and we are all there right beside you.

Debbie - a water rave--oh my. I could not imagine what to expect! You are a trooper for taking your kids and staying there to look out for them.

Deb - You and your daugther are in my prayers every day. I hope you find someone to do the surgery soon. I also pray every day for your safety and for peace.

Amy - your day for children will come and you are going to be such a wondeful mother. Some of these experiences you are going thru right now are building that great mom! Hang in there and enjoy that wonderful husband of yours!

Graycie - You will love being involved with the walk. I really enjoy meeting the other women and offering support to those that need it. I have these little pink cards that I give to some ladies I meet that have my name/phone/email along with my cancer support group info, the url for bc.org and the url for Yvonne's IM A SURVIVOR site. I hope my giving out that info will help at least one person that I come across in my travels....

Well, I am finishing up my coffee and I am off to control the traffic ****CRASH, BANG, BOOM!!*** Whoops! ;-)

debbie444

Watch out Tracey! You may seem invincible but cars are heavy - I know!You are far too precious to us to lose you now.


Ravdeb - I haemmorraged from the op site under my arm, An infected abcess ate some of the internal stitches and i woke one morning at home in a pool of blood. I had an exciting ambulance ride down the wrong side of a dual carriage way, 6 units if blood and an 11 day hospital stay. Never say i dont look for excitement!
Sorry things didnt work as expected Mary but it sounds like you have had a good time.
I spent the afternoon blackberry picking in the hedgerows with Catherine - now to bake!
Love to you all,
Debbie

TracyNY

Birthday girl reporting in! I am having a ball so I will take the advice and extend the celebrations until the end of the month.

The weather is getting chilly here in NYC, I can't believe that summer is drawing to a close already. Next weekend is the official end and I'm riding until the wheels fall off!

Anonymous

Debbie,

You have a lot of energy. Give me some of that!

P.S.
I echo the sentiments of the other ladies on this thread:
Tracy: I'm proud of you. Thank you for representing us.
Laura: I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you get good news.
Mary: I hope the weather changes and that you get to go sailing like you planned.
Ravdeb: Thinking of you and commiserating. I know what it's like to worry about my offspring.
To everyone else: Hope you have a good Monday!