2005 ROCK-TOBER CHEMO GIRLS

TracySeattle

TaDah!!! YOU GO GIRL!!!!

Debbie - I am hoping to go pick some blackberries next weekend! I don't bake, but I will freeze them so that I have them for my lunches every day!

WOW! Am I ever tired!!! I spent 7 hours today walking back and forth in an asphalt parking lot. I bet it was about 1/2 mile long..... I have to tell you I AM SO NOT TRAFFIC!!!! But I had a great team, several teenage girls from a softball team and they did an awesome job at directing the traffic!!

One of the guys on my team was there with his daughter. They also worked overnight security at the camp on both Friday & Saturday nights. I asked him if there was anyone that they were volunteering their time in honor of and he broke down crying. His wife died 12 years ago of breast cancer. He has been raising his daughter alone.... I felt so bad for him--how he must have loved her to be so moved by her death 12 years later. Just makes me hate this DAMN disease even more!

I got to see my friends, Tammy and Bonnie after they finished the walk. Bonnie had a real tough time finishing, but she did it!!! She was so happy and we both cried. She told me that she kept thinking "Tracy did chemo, I can finish this walk". I don't know I think the chemo might have been easier!

Well, I am off to bed - man am I going to be sore in the morning!

Love you all!

Anonymous

ravdeb

TADAH..Happy Birthday for the MONTH, or even the year..what the heck!

soooo...my daughter has her appointment to have the mole removed but it's not for another TWO WEEKS! Seems like way too long a time. And then 3 weeks to get the dang path report. I don't get it. May try to get in to a general surgeon. The dermatologist recommended a ps but said to take a gen. surgeon if it were possible to get in earlier. I will discuss this with my daughter first.

I'm now on a melanoma discussion board. Though it's not as nicely set up as this one is, the people are nice there and I'm getting info that I need. I got about 10 answers to my question within a few hours! YIKES!

At any rate..I had said that I had bc and one woman wrote to me and said that her doctor had told her that if she had had a lump in her breast, she would have gotten it out right away but with moles, they (the medical people) look at it as cosmetic instead of cancer. That's crazy. Which is why I may take my daughter to a gen. surgeon first. Just made an appt. for a gen. surgeon too. Have everything covered.
Geeez..I'm more nervous about this than I was about my own lump. Can't believe this. I was much calmer when I had my lump and I just kinda did what I had to do..no questions. I think I know too much now...

RenatheScot

Hello everyone,
I am in the February group. I am just completing my rads only 7 more to go. I just wanted to say to those of you beginning your treatment.....you will find its a long journey looking forward but a short one looking back. Its not the easiest of journey's but YOU CAN DO IT.....I think my worst days were when I didn't know what was ahead of me.....I worried about how my body would cope with the chemo and here I am out the other end and the body is a wonderful thing it DOES cope......yes you will have your up and down times but you WILL come through the other end of the tunnel. When I found my lump and they told me I had breast cancer, initially like everyone else I was shocked but I very soon decided that no way was this going to beat me. I had the lump removed along with 15 nodes and sadly it was in 2 of the nodes so hence the chemo and rads....but after surgery I could say "I HAD BC" after all it was cut away so just think positive and it will help you to cope, one day at a time is all you need to take.
At the moment I am pretty tired from the travelling in and out to the hospital for the rads on the daily basis as the journey takes me an hour to get there for 9am.....but only 30 mins to get back home....its the rush hour traffic grr
I am hopefully going to get back to my work maybe around end of Septemer or start of October.... then I will be tired hehehe!
I am sure you will all come out the other end and say "I am a survivor" I will keep you all in my prayers
God bless you all and my your journey be as smooth as possible"
hugs
Rena

SCMartin

Rena, Thank-you for a very supportive post. It is amazing haw the body does cope with all those drugs. I will complete 4 of 8 treatments on Friday and never thought I would make it this far. When someone says to me that they hear I have BC I always reply that I HAD BC. I can't wait to get to the radiation stage because then I will know I am on the downhill part. Thanks for the encouragement! Good thoughts being sent from Ohio to Scotland! Susan

sherryhaire

With the temperature holding at around 109-110 it is hard to think of Fall almost being here!! Wish it were here now--Mary--My birthday is in January as well on the 26th and I will be 49!!!

Anonymous

Rena, thanks for the supportive post but we started our chemo 1 year ago! We just keep yakking! The 2006 October girls probably have a different thread.

Happy birthday, sherry! Are you still at your sisters?

marymelodi

As long as anyone from October 2005 wants to keep yakking, I say we stick together!!!!! It was nice of Rena to respond to us. I have sent some message to the August 2006 chemo girls because I remember all too well how much I wanted to hear how others had coped with the treatment.

By the by, I went back and read the first few pages of this thread last week. Many women who were posting there are no longer in communication with us. Made me wonder what happened. I suppose in some cases it may have just been too hard to cope with the side effects, sickness, etc. and keep up with the discussions at the same time.

Happy birthday, Sherry and TaDah (still!).

Hope everyone is fine.

Debbie (Ravdeb): I share your concern for your daughter and will be including her and you in my prayers. Hopefully this will not be a malignancy. It's always harder to watch a loved one have a problem than to have the same problem yourself, I think. I'm pulling for you.

Mary

ake

Ravdeb...I'm keeping you and your daugther in my thoughts.

Mary...why wouldn't we keep talking and stick together? I can't imagine not having the October girls in my life

Thank you ladies for your kind words about my baby issues. I told my best friend how I felt and had a good cry with her...not that I can't have children now necessarily, but my sadness is from a fear that my 3 best friends will move on without me as they expand their families. that cancer will limit me and keep me as "different" irrational fear, yes, but a fear nonetheless. It was good to be honest with her though about how I feel and my husband and I talked this morning and we know we'll have children one day. Thank you again for being so supportive

Love,
Amy

ravdeb

That's great, Amy, that you talked it out with your friends. I'm sure you will have a baby one day. It's just all a matter of time.

Thanks for all the good thoughts about my daughter. I managed to get her appt with the ps moved up. I called them back and told them that it was urgent and the secy said I could bring her in on Monday. This works out really well because she had plans for the weekend and didn't want to feel uncomfortable.

Hopefully it will be B-9 and we will just forget about it. But..I have such a BAD feeling about this. Could be from reading up on malignant moles. I KNOW the mole is not guilty til the path proves it is! BUT....

Thank goodness I have you ladies who understand what it means to wait for all of this stuff...

Be well and have a good week!

maryannecb

My Birthday is March 21-often the first day of Spring. I was diagnosed Sept 20, often the first day of Fall...weird.

Laura I got my T-shirt today. Thanks so much . It validated this whole online experience for me. I must say I am a little nervous about interacting with unknown people on the internet and am fairly private about many details of my life. But the longer we all correspond the easier it has become to trust you all and open up. It is nice to know that at any time I can log on , leave a message and someone will be along shortly with a well thought out anser that will help. I will wear my shirt paddling tomorrow and attach a pic! Thanks.

Ravdeb, malignant melanoma is pretty rare. Most moles turn out just fine. Is this mole rapidly changing? If it isn't you could probably wait a few weeks without trouble.

Tadah the Bday must be going well, you have hardly written. We will want details.

Hope all mammmos and CTs come back soon. I am getting anxoius for you all.

I only have one appointment this month. I am feeling under medicaled...I fell a little lost without the surveillance and visits. When my Herceptin ends in December I will be done all treatments. Then I will be really feeling hung out to dry.

One of my neighbors died of pancreatic cancer today. He only lived four months from diagnosis. I feel badly for his wife and two teenagers. They must be reeling.

I am off to dinner with my exes family. Not bad ten years post divorce and still friendly. My new husband is the only one that feels at all awkward.

Tracy I will be doing our walk for breast cancer in October. I did the Relay for Life already. When I walked the survivor lap I cried almost the whole way around. Next year I will bring Kleenex.

Fists up!

Graycie

Laura, I have been thinking of you all day. I hope by now you got news about your test and I hope even more that it is GOOD news.......

Tracy, What a girl. How are you feeling today? I bet those aches and pains as much as they hurt are giving you a good feeling. So sad about that man losing his wife that had to be hard on him and also for you to see him break down like that.. I hate hearing stories like that. One of my neighbor's passed away last year to BC right before I was diagnosed. That made my diagnosis even harder to take because all I kept thinking of was her. Even now, I don't think a day goes by that I don't think of her. I HATE his damn disease too, actually don't we all......

Tadah, I hope you are still out living it up. My sister just got back from NYC. (Actually my son lives there too). She had a fun time. It's true what they say according to her, "It's the city that never sleeps".

Rena and Susan, If you need any advice you should come to us. We have all been there and done that.......

Sherry, How can you stand the heat? My sister wants to move to Houston, she loves it there. A little too hot for me ......

Amy, I am sure everything will work out for you in the baby dept. You have a wonderful and supportive husband and he is right you will have children someday.

Ravdeb, Try not to worry and don't read any more about it. That's what I did and I made myself sick. The fact that they aren't pushing for your daughter to have the mole removed they must not be that worried. You mentioned a scar. Is the mole in a spot that it is noticeable? If not, I wouldn't wait for the PS. I don't know too much about mole's because I actually don't have any but my sister had a spot of cancer on her leg and I think the dermatologist took it off. My daughter goes for her mammogram on Tuesday. I am keeping my finger's crossed for her but I have a gut feeling she is OK. I hope I am right.......I will keep my finger's crossed for your daughter too.

Maryanne, I know what you mean. Doctor visits are too far and few between. We were so used to being checked every time we had chemo and now 3 months between visit's seems way too long. I just wish they would have us come in for blood work once a month. I tried doing a self examination for lumps last night since I screwed up the first time on checking and after the lumpectomy and radiation my breast is one big lump. How can you tell what's supposed to be there and what isn't? Very hard along the bottom from the radiation. I probably asked you this before but where in Canada do you live?

Oh, BTW, my birthday is May 21st. I am also going to start a book with everyone's birthday . Addresses would also be nice if anyone is interested send me a PM.
Graycie

Anonymous

My birthday is April 3rd!

Anonymous

Hey Girls -

I called my Oncs ofc today, said I was calling about CT results and they said a nurse would call me back. One did, but she said they didn't receive them yet. I asked what was taking so long (I have always gotten results within 48 hours). She said they must be back-logged and that she'd call Radiology in the morning, get the results and have the Dr. call me. Of course, my paranoia is running rampant. The Dr. only calls if something is wrong. If everything is normal, a nurse calls. But she said the Dr. will call. I have visions of my Dr. having received my results and they revealed something really bad and he's consulting with lots of specialists on what advice and treatment I should have. And he's trying to figure out just how to "break" the news to me.!.!. Can you believe this! Well...yes, of course you can because you all know how frickin' paranoid I am. I hate this so much! I feel as though my hands are tied behind my back. And tomorrow morning I have to go to a meeting with one of my accounts (my largest account!) and pretend like life is just peachy keen! I have to give a creative presentation and sound really enthused and upbeat and come up with creative ideas. How the hell am I going to do this? I cancelled last weeks meeting because I was so freaked out...thought for sure by tomorrow I'd be okay. Oh well, unfortunately, you can all relate! Thanks for "listening" to me. I appreciate it. I just have to go to my meeting, walk in as though I own the place, "wow" them with some fabulously creative product ideas, go home and WAIT FOR THE PHONE TO RING! LOL Yes...OMG...I actually laughed...I will be fine...I have no frickin' choice!
Laura

(btw - my birthday is March 5th - hope I'm still alive - just kidding!)

Anonymous

Ok, so I have

marymelodi's is 1/19
sherryhaire's is 1/26
debbie444 is 2/6
lauragto's is 3/5
maryannecb's is 3/21
tracyseattle 3/25
kelly's is 4/3
graycie's 5/21
chumfry's is 6/15
tadah's birthday is 8/23
adnerb 10/18
rosemarie's 11/28
ravdeb 12/1
amy's 12/5

What's Paula's birthday?

Graycie

Laura, Now stop it, You will still be alive. You are going to be fine. Do you feel like anything is wrong? Wouldn't you have a cough or shortness of breath if there was something wrong? I always go by the way I feel......I wish you all the Luck tomorrow with your presentation I know how hard that is going to be for you.....I will say a prayer.
Graycie

TracySeattle

Kelly - Sherryhaire is 1/26

Laura! You are going to be fine and you are going to do great tomorrow! I have been praying for you and we will all be there with you when you make your presentation (I sure hope the meeting room is big....)

I am feeling good today, not nearly as sore as I thought I would be!

Hope you all had a good Monday!

Anonymous

Laura, my fingers are still crossed. You'll be fine, you'll see.

ravdeb

Maryanne..you have just made me feel a bit calmer. On the one hand, it is good to know that malignant melanoma is pretty rare. On the other hand, my girlfriend had insitu MM, a woman in my community was diagnosed a year ago with invasive MM but stage 1 I believe, and my cousin died of MM when she was in her early 30's.

Fast growing?? hmm.... she's had this one for a long time but suddenly last week it bled once. Dermatologist said it's multi-colored and dysplastic or whatever it's called.

okay..according to my records..Brenda's birthday is up next.

Waiting to hear from you, Laura!

Hope everybody is having a good day today.

sherryhaire

Thanks for the Happy Birthdays, maybe I will have 2 this year Actually mine is January 26th. I am still computerless but am hopping from one computer to another to check in and to see how everyone is doing Hopefully soon I'll have another one. I go see a new PCP on Friday hope I like him! The weather here is unbelievably hot, Thank goodness for airconditioning--My dream has always been to live somewhere there is 4 different seasons not just Hot, Hot , Warm and mild

ravdeb

Sherry..I can relate...I live in a hot, hot, warm and mild climate too! My brother lives in Houston. It DOES cool down there!

We get cooler weather in the winter...in the 50's F. That's FREEZING for us and we all wrap ourselves in blankets and drink hot tea til the winter is over! Our heating system is not so great.

Hope you get your computer soon!
Try not to sweat too much

TracySeattle

Sherry, how close to Houston are you? I am going to be in Houston the 1st week of December and I would love to meet you!

Have a good day everyone!

ravdeb

hey..that's neat! Hope you two can meet up together!

Anonymous

Ok, I edited my post so I could put in Sherry's birthday, when is Paula's?? Who did I miss???

Anonymous

Oh what about chumfry? She doesn't come around as much but she's our chemo girl, too ........ OH CHUMFRY, WHERE ARE YOU??

marymelodi

Greetings to all!!
I have returned from seeing the radiation oncology NP for a follow-up. They had the results of last week's CT scan. All the places that are being followed were stable or unchanged. Good news!! (Big sigh!) Recommendation is for another follow-up in 6 months.

I do have some fluid in the area that was radiated. This is most likely the source of some mile discomfort and stiffness I have felt under my arm. I did think it seemed a bit "gooshy", if you know what I mean. So, if it does not resolve in a few weeks, then I will be referred to a physical therapist to learn self-massage techniques to use on my breast to move the fluid along. That is how the NP phrased it.

Laura: This is the news I am praying to read from you. CT results showing stable, unchanged nodules. I know you are nervous. My doctor told me, "the more we look, the more we find." Usually these things are B-9, as Ravdeb says. We are all with you in spirit and are hoping for the best.

Amy: I admire your emotional courage in opening up to your friends. You are such an example. In fact, this last weekend, with my friend, I took a couple of emotional risks like that, revealing some of my deeper feelings. It is hard, but worth it.

I don't think I told you all how my husband has reacted to my anniversary week. He didn't think it was much to celebrate. It was a disappointment, as you know. I know he is glad I'm alive, but he is not demonstrative about it. Well, after being with my friend last week (Friday to Saturday) he sent me an e-mail saying, "I am grateful for your friednship and I want you to know I am thankful for your life and that you have survived your fight with cancer." Now, that's a great message to receive and of course, I was bawling like a baby while reading it.

Oh, Paula is still on her Russia trip so we won't be hearing from her for a while, I think.

Got to go. I'm at work now. Best to everyone.
Mary

chumfry

OK, OK...

My birthday is June 15. I'm 48.

I do check in on you guys at least once a day, even though I don't post as often. I've got my fingers crossed for Laura, too.

ravdeb

chumfry..glad to see you posting!!! This means I missed your birthday! You can be like Tadah and celebrate on and on and on and on.... so HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

ake

mary....my husband really didn't want to celebrate my anniversary. we still did, but when i asked him why he didn't celebrate, he said,"why would i want to celebrate the worst year of my life? i'm glad it's over. i don't want to give it that much more attention." he has a point. these milestones are hard.

ravdeb

My anniversary of my diagnosis is next week. I became a bc survivor that day and THAT is why I want to celebrate.I'm excited that I'm finished with my treatments and feeling really good and that a year will have passed since this all began. For me..it's over. I'm celebrating THAT!