2005 ROCK-TOBER CHEMO GIRLS

TracySeattle

Mary - We are together on Monday--I am getting my Mammo and 6 month post chemo check up. I will be thinking of you, sister! Seems like we traveled this road right beside each other all the way.... I couldn't have done it without you.

I get horrible cramps in the calf of my right leg during the night too! My hands also go numb during the night. UGH! I am not ready to feel this old!

Let's all go find a nice Retirement home in AZ or somewhere else that is warm. We can line our rockers up in a row on the porch where we can all rock and drink lemonade together (someone needs to bring the vodka!).

love you!
tracy

marymelodi

Tracy:
I'll be thinking of you on Monday.

I'm on vacation all next week. Everyday I am going to do something good to myself, enjoy and celebrate my life. Even if I am the only one doing the celebrating.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Mary (free for the next 9 days!!)

TracyNY

Quote:

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Tadah-that sucks about your arm...it can be very swollen and uncomfortable-you are reding the LE thread I hope. They seem to have many good ideas. I hope you get to OT soon and that with massage and sleeves you can feel better. A few of the ladies on our paddling team have this and they are still exercising with the rest of us. I suppose it is yet another thing about the "new you". I missed the fat lip reference???

---

The fat lip was a reference to a comment marymelodi made. God made a way for me to see a specialist on Monday morning first thing. I was here crying (for the first time in about a year) because I was getting nowhere with finding a specialist and then the doctor at Memorial Sloan Kettering had a cancellation and I have an appointment at 9:00am. He was booked until October!

You have to see Sloan Kettering doctor before you can get therapy there and I was told they work miracles. I was very concerned about having to wait to start treating this as it is quite uncomfortable and I want to nip it in the bud.

Thanks for your concern. I'll get working on that avatar soon!

ake

Hi ladies,

Well, today is my one-year anniversary. I'm a one-year survivor....wooo hooo...with many more to go. Dinner last night was ridiculously wonderful. 3 course fixed menu. I had escargot with pesto for an appetizer, tomato tartar with a quail's egg, cuttlefish "linguine", salmon with crab rissoto and yellow potatoes, and for dessert, a chocolate covered grape, hazelnut bars, homemade chocolate ice cream, and chocolate mousse. and some decaf coffee. it was spectacular!

i'm feeling sad, happy, excited, bewildered all at the same time this morning. i don't want cancer to ever be a part of my life again, but i know it will still have its place occassionally in my mind. i've been keeping a blog throughout this experience....i'm actually going to print it out and try to get it published. that's my next goal...there is diddly written for young women and breast cancer. if anyone wants the link, let me know. thanks ladies for getting me through the hardest year of my life. i love that we're all still in each other's lives now

here's a pic of me and the family: [image][/image]

Anonymous

Very nice picture, Amy, you look beautiful! Congrats on your one year survivorship!

Well, my surgery went fine. I am a bit sore but nothing Vicodin and 600mg Motrin can't handle. My shoulders hurt ... they say that is from the gas they pump you up with and it pushes your diaphram up and then everything else, so they hurt. Of course, my 3 little surgery sites are sore. Not as bad as I thought but I don't want to overdo anything.

I am a bit queezy but will be fine. Glad to get them out. Now I wonder if I will switch to an AI instead of Tamoxifen.
------
TaDah: how did your appointment go? Hope you are doing better and that you have no more crying jags.... it's hard for you ... you are doing this pretty much alone??

Anonymous

Hi Girls!

Well, this coming Tuesday I have my follow-up Chest CT. I am absolutely PETRIFIED. If the nodules that showed up on my lungs back in April have grown or changed - I am in deep sh*t. If they haven't grown, I'll simply need another follow-up CT again in 3 months. If they have grown - and if they're big enough to biopsy then I'll have to have it done. I just don't think I could handle another cancer diagnosis - especially lungs! I am trying so hard to not let my fear consume me. But when I do think about it I actually get physically ill! God - I hate this. And, if they haven't grown I can still plan on having the Prophy Mast the first weekend in October. I'm trying not to freak out about that too! I'm just having way too much fun these days! Last week was the 1 year anniversary of my first Mast. But I keep reminding myself of a happy and positive milestone - my 10th Wedding Anniversary - August 24th. We're going out for dinner. My cholesterol is borderline too low - so my Dr. "prescribed" shell fish! LOL She said it boosts cholesterol levels. Sooooo...Seafood it is!



Laura

ake

Laura,

Try to make this weekend something you enjoy...do everything you can that makes you happy. I hate the waiting game. I really think it's emotionally traumatizing sometimes.

I'm keeping nothing but positive thoughts in my mind. If it's nothing, think how amazing that feeling will be. You'll get to celebrate. If G-d forbid, it is something, you will have the strength to handle it. You don't know what you can handle until it happens and you're stronger than you maybe feel right now. And we'll help you through anything that happens...keep positive thoughts, get through the weekend the best way you can, get ready for your 10th wedding anniversary, and remind yourself over and over how strong you really are and that you got through this year and you can get through anything.

love,
amy

TracyNY

Amy: You look just like your mum! Nice to see folks out and about.

Laura: Thanks for the PM, I'll send it when I dig up a picture I like. Congrats on the upcoming wedding anniversary. I can never make it past seven years. They say third time's a charm so my next marriage may actually last!

Kelly: Glad you're okay. Isn't vicodin a wonderful thing? I'll let you know how my appointment with the physiatrist goes on Monday. My meeting with my surgeon on Tuesday was him just looking over my stitches from the port removal and telling me "Yup, that's lympedema, you'll have it forever". I was pretty upset with his nonchalance but I don't have to see him again until November and I'll have forgotten by then.

I'm not alone through this. I have a close network of supporters and you guys. My long term companion of 11 years was discovered to have a 5 year old daughter (just before my mastectomies), I was quite upset and he is one person who can say that cancer was a good thing because if I didn't need him to drive my mother to the hospital he would have been extinct.

We're still friends and business partners, just not lovers anymore. I have enough problems without baby mama drama to add to my woes!!

Anonymous

Kelly -
Good to hear you're resting comfortably! You should still take it easy though. Glad you two liked the shirts. The photos of Teryn are adorable.

TaDah -
I feel bad about the lymph. Best wishes with the treatment for it. Damn...as if ya haven't already been through enough.

Tracy -
My thoughts are with you on Monday. I love the retirement home idea! LOL Rocktober Retirees can Rock On and On in Rocking Chairs...say that 10 times fast! Also, is too late for me to request another song for the Rocktober Girls CD? If not, it's "Little GTO" several groups have recorded it over the years, but one that I know of is Ronny & The Daytonas.

Amy -
Love the photo! You look beautiful - and your family is beautiful!

marymelodi -
Have a wonderful vacation. Enjoy every day - you so deserve it! Treat yourself like the queen you are. As Mae West said, "Too much of a good thing can be wonderful."

Rosemarie -
Thanks! Hang in there. I'll be thinking of you and wishing you the best with the exchange. Does this mean that you will be getting new nipples too? LOL

Brenda -
Still lovin' that red hat of yours! Best to you this Tuesday when you're back in the classroom.

maryanne -
Congrats on the weight loss. That's quite an accomplishment and so hard to do.

As always...everyone else: hi there

Laura

Anonymous

Laura, I had no idea you have to have another CT scan. We are scared with you and going to keep positive thoughts on this. What was your initial dx? Don't they think its way to early to be in your lungs???

Graycie

No Kelly, you didn't lose me, well, temporarily but I am back. I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend and Kelly I am glad to hear your surgery went well. I agree with Maryanne, if you can go through chemo you can endure anything. Teryn is so adorable. I hope she liked her first day of school.....

Ravdeb, Glad to see you are back home safely. It looks like you went back at a good time since things seem to be settling down. I HOPE!

Tadah, How is your arm? I am so sorry you had to get that. I am wondering also why now after all this time this had to happen. I remember you thinking you had it before you went on your trip. Gosh, I hope it goes' away.

Laura, I will keep my finger's crossed and will be thinking positive thoughts that everything goes well with your CT scan. I never heard of anyone with cholesterol that is too low. I always thought low cholesterol was a good thing.......Try not to worry too much about the scan. I know easier said than done. I am the same as you, I worry myself sick over things. BTW, Happy 10th wedding anniversary........

Amy, What a nice picture of all of you. You are so pretty! I am glad you had such a good time.

Debbie, I didn't know you were fainting. What is that all about? I also didn't know you could get lymphodema in your breast. My BS said I still have a lot of swelling in my breast, he seemed sort of surprised. He didn't mention lymphodema though.

Tracy, Good luck with your mammo, I am sure it will be fine...... I had one right after radiation which was a little uncomfortable but not too bad.

Rosemarie and Ravdeb, Happy Anniversary!

I, like everyone else have painful joints especially after exercising or when the weather changes. I am blaming it on Chemo but then again I am getting older. Mary I woke up the other night too with the most painful leg cramp. I had been to a wedding the night before so I think it had something to do with the fact I was wearing heels and I may add dancing up a storm. Hoping all your aches and pains go away so you can enjoy your vacation.

I am supposed to be painting my son's bedroom so I guess I better get moving......That is another side effect I noticed I have, I can't get motivated.
Everyone have a Nice Weekend.

Graycie

TracySeattle

Hi All,

Sounds like this is kind of a "challenging" week for manyo of us, but we have already been thru alot and we are strong women! We can do this--especially with the support we have for each other. I will be thinking of all of you on Monday when I am in that D#MN Mammo machine.

Amy - your dinner story and the pic brought tears to my eyes. Just think a few short months ago most of us could not even choke down any food--we have come a LONG LONG way...

Kelly - so glad that your surgery went well! I thought of you all day yesterday!

TaDah - I ended up losing a relationship along with the whole cancer thing too. I guess it is just a way for us to be able to make a fresh start at life....

Mary - enjoy your time off! Get a pedicure or a massage, or BOTH!!! Pamper yourself, you so deserve it!

Graycie - glad to see you are back with us. Have fun painting. I have that motivation problem too. I especially notice it at work. Probably just another one of those cancer gifts that keep on giving....

Laura - I will be praying for you this week. I am thinking positive--you are going to be just fine! And I added your song to the list.

I am getting ready to work on the CD - I want it to commemorate our 1 year anniversaries. It might take me a while as I am still shifting thru the Aquafet debris and working to set things right. I am also volunteering for the Komen 3 day walk next weekend on Friday and Sunday. But I will fit the CD in the cracks of time! I was looking for pink CDs but with no luck. Oh Well.....

Love you all - have a good Saturday!

ravdeb

Hi everybody,

Just thought I'd check in.

Glad to see you Kelly, reporting in and not suffering too much after the surgery.
Amy..great pic and your family is beautiful. You look beautiful but where are the fancy silver shoes??? I want to see them!
Graycie..glad to hear that you danced your socks off the other day. BTW..there is a whole thread on leg and foot cramps. I suffer terribly from this. Take a look at it. May help!

Laura... I am thinking about you as you prepare yourself for the upcoming CT. Sending you lots of good throughts.

Ta-dah...get that avatar up.

Debbie..hope that boob lymphodema isn't too uncomfortable nor the vest that Ta-dah described. Sounds like those bullet-proof dodads the cops wear. COOL!

Mary..enjoy the vacation. Pedicure is a great idea...I did that in the States for the first time in my life! Also manicure for the first time! Really spoiled myself and now I want MORE!

Tracy... love the vision of the Rocktober girls on the rocking chairs!

debbie444

So much to catch up on!
Welcome back Graycie! I had seen you on other boards but its nice to have you back!
Kelly - I am glad all is going well after the op. Do you have cross shaped scars too?
Amy - what a great pic. A year ago you would never have imagined looking as you do now - stunning!
Mary - go and have a fantastic break - we will miss you tho.
Tadah - hope you arent too uncomfy. It surprised me when you said i should wear a vest thingy. The consultant i saw ( who is my real consultants sidekick and hadnt read my notes so didnt know i had had my ooph!)) said it would go away by itself! The surgeon who i saw the week before when i flipped out said it was fluid retention and nothing to worry about! I think i am going with her - she saw me whilst i was going through my pre chemo trauma, with the holes and packing etc AND she has an accent i can understand!
Laura - i really hope things are ok - we will put all of our Octoberites will behind you - noone will mess with that!
Ravdeb - it is good to know you are safe and ok.
What else.........
Maryanne, i went back to work in Feb, I am just on summer break now. I go back in Sept. Our break is roughly 28july to Sept5, i guess it is different to yours.
Tracy - i cant wait to see the new CD
I am beginning to feel talentless - what with CDs, knitting, Tshirts etc. Perhaps i should just post out lots of English chocolate??!!
As for the fainting, i can handle it as i know it is coming. I have only done it twice - the rest of the time i have caught it. I had to sit on the floor in a queue in Legoland ( i had queued an hour - wasnt NOT going on!) And i got to sit on a red velvet chair in Windsor Castle ( behind the ropes nonetheless!) My nurse says she thinks it is blood pressure related. I usually have high BP, unless i go into hospital and then i get low BP and fall over a lot! Think it may be linked to the tamox - great!
I have lost another 7lbs, which makes it 24lbs since ifinished chemo - now if i could just get my joints to work!!!!

Anyway, have a great weekend everyone, we are going to a woodland festival - i may come back a nymph!
Debbie

Anonymous

My cyberworld and realworld merged today as my husband handed me a brown package from the mailmain. It had something soft inside and the address read: Brenda-Adnerb! I had goosebumps while opening the package. I knew it was from our Laura, but until I touched it our friendships were almost like a figment of my imagination. Now I know that indeed, you guys are as tangible as this cute tee shirt, so pink and so identified just for our particular group that started getting "blasted" in October. I'm so glad we are all actually here. The three ladies' photo just made it more real. Thanks, Laura. Thanks, all.

Anonymous

Debbie,
I'm keeping my fingers crossed and praying that you get better and that your fainting spells disappear. If I had a magic wand that is what I would do.

Anonymous

Ravdeb,
Make sure you take your own equipment when you get a pedicure. Or make sure it is a trusted and really clean place. I am so weary of germs - I wonder why?

Anonymous

Tracy,
Do you need $ to finish your CD? I know I have to pay 99 cents per song.
Let me know. I'm not rich, but I can spare a few dollars. This goes for you too, Laura. Sending out a bunch of t shirts could add up. Let me know. Let us know.
Thanks again.

PS.
Tracy and Mary: Good Luck on Monday.
Amy: Great photos once again! I love you in blue, and I can tell from your choice of delicacies that you have an adventurous spirit.
Tadah and Kelly: Thinking about you both and praying that your pain gets better.

ravdeb

Brenda..
My mom used to get a manicure every week when I was a little girl. She told me that THAT is why she has a fungus under one nail that won't go away. She won't get a manicure anymore. I probably won't do it again anyway. That was a vacation thing. But, yea..I thought of that. The first place I had it done was where my niece goes and it was very clean. The second place..well..I saw them cleaning the tub (saw it at the first place, too) for the pedicure and it LOOKED clean there. Still..that was in the back of my mind and so I don't think I'll ever do it again! Still..it WAS fun to have somebody else do it nicely and neatly. They even glued two of my nails that were giving me a problem cuz of the Taxol. She told me NOT to do dishes but now that I'm home I did dishes and had to say goodbye to one nail...

Mary... while on vacation I got a henna tattoo on my leg. It was painted on by an Indian woman in a salon. Very cool. I was more intrigued with the way she painted it on so neatly than having a tattoo. It was something I did with my daughter and my girlfriend. Try it! Only problem with it is that it will come off immediately if you are going to go swimming! Mine lasted about 2 weeks and then I went swimming and it was gone.

chumfry

Laura, I just got my T-shirt yesterday and it is so beautiful. It's like wearing a hug. Thank you so much!

I'm so sorry you're facing another scary test this week. I had a scare with a lump in my good breast last month. It appears to be related to my reduction surgery, but I'll be having a six-month recheck, too.

I don't know if this will help you, but what I kept thinking through that scary time was that I didn't have enough information to make a decision about that lump, and that the tests would give me the info I needed. That helped me stop going "What if?" and made the tests themselves a little less scary. I could see the tests more as tools serving me, rather than monsters that were going to steal my life again.

We will all be thinking about you Tuesday. Maybe you'll be able to feel us pressing close to you in spirit, helping hold you up during this frightening experience.

ravdeb

Tracy...
Good luck tomorrow!!!!

Anonymous

Tracy & marymelodi -
My thoughts will be with you both on Monday. Here's to "spotless" results...

Chumfry -
I am so happy the lump turned out to be nothing. I am hoping the best for you at your 6 month f/u.

Everyone -
We've all been touched by the cancer monster - yet we remain united to offer strength and comfort. I envision all of us standing in a circle holding hands. We are a circle of friends, love and strength. As difficult as this journey is, we manage to emerge stronger after each challenge. I am so thankful for our circle!

Laura

cheryl58

Laura, I just wanted to wish you the best of luck on Tuesday and to let you know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers. You have always been there for me, and I don't know what I would do without you and your encouragement. I just wanted to let you know that I will be thinking of you.
Cheryl
P.S. Happy Anniversary on Thursday!!

Anonymous

Hello ladies. Today, I am actually hurting alot. It hurts inside, it must be where one of the ovaries used to be because there is no outside scar that is killing me. It feels torn?? So, I am trying to rest. I am confined upstairs since I cannot really go up and down the stairs but that's ok.

My mom and daughter went to go see Fairytopia ...
here she is

Anonymous

OMG - she is the fairest one of all!
Laura

maryannecb

@##$%%^^ I lost my post again!

When will I learn? I hit submit and think it has ggone in when all that has happened is it is ready do the preview.

So what did I say?

Kelly hope your belly improves if not get it checked out. Teryn is so sweet. Did she have fun with her Nanny?

Laura, fingers, toes and all else crossed on your CT. Hope you are like me and your nodules are unchanged or even better, gone.

Wow ,time for yearly mammograms. I had mine 6 months ago as I had a lump whan diagnosed and had only that breast checked. I had had mammo on both six months prior, with a good report. It was a difficult day. I don't believe in them anymore for me anyway as even with my large lump, radiologically all was felt to be OK. I had to persist to get biopsied. I do hope we all have good results this year. It would be hard to face more chemo at this point when we are just getting back on our feet.

In the beginning I looked forward to tests and scans to prove I was OK. Now I dread them and feel unwell untill I get the all clear. I hope you all hear your good news quickly and do not have to agonize.

Amy, is your blog on the internet? I would be interested.You know my address, just drop me the link.

Laura, thnks for the offer of resizing my Avatar. I have been trying to use Tinypic .It works for pictures but for some reason not for the Avatar...Any hints?



Fists up!

maryannecb

Fists up!

TracySeattle

I just love you all so much!!! Thanks for all of the good wishes for tomorrow. I know that it will be just fine....

Teryn is so cute!!! Great Pic!

It is so cool that we all have the same T-Shirt! Laura you are so awesome!

I am dog sitting for "Cujo" this weekend. heh, heh, heh... She actually is not that bad, but when I went there for the first time on Friday all she did was lay on the couch and growl at me. Now she snuggles next to me when we sleep. Of course, she has been tearing up the house during the day when I am not there..... Her mom has some surprises to come home to!

love you all, have a good Monday!
t

Anonymous

Tracy -
Thanks! I am so happy that you and everyone like the t-shirts! It's the least I could do to show my appreciation of all of you. Keep us posted. Awwww...you and Cujo, how cute!

maryanne -
I don't know how to re-size a photo other than through PhotoShop on my computer. Sorry. The picture you posted - the headline is Me and my kite - isn't appearing here - at least not for me. I don't know if it is for anyone else - just thought I'd let you know.

Graycie -
Hi there...just want to say...hi!

Laura

Paula15089

Hi girls!
wow, did i miss lots of posts.. will read them all later, but for now, here is a pic from our girls night out last saturday:

there were about 10 of us, and we had a blast!
the pic is with my best friend, her little boy Sebastian is my godson.
you can see my hair is totally out of control!!

well, tomorrow i am leaving for my big trip, so i will be celebrating my 1 year anniversary in Russia!
hopefull will have internet access while travelling, so will keep in touch.
love to all!