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  • sueps
    sueps Member Posts: 2,266
    edited January 2008

    Hello Everyone.. xxx

    I have been thinking about you all all day long...thankyou for giving me the strength today .. xxx

    Ulla I told my chemo nurse and counsellor all about you today and how brave you are....and how last night you made me feel lucky that I could have chemo....  It is the only time I would put LUCKY and CHEMO in the same sentence...LOLLOLOL

    Right today I see my Onc and I broke down (I am having a hard time with this sh t ALL OF IT ...think I am worn out)

    I explained my thoughts (and fears) of having CMF and not Taxol...

    Basically he was at the Sanantonia sp? Breast Bootface conference...and there has been a huge long study on Taxol against ECMF ...the ECMF results faired a little better than taxol...and before all that on another study taxol faired a little better than Taxotere...also the side effects and the toxiacation is far less with CMF  than taxol...so I am extremy relieved.

    I will research the conference he went to ...it was Dec or Jan ... Where is sanantonia though?...      (the trial was a UK and Europe one )

    Well I had a chest Xray today and he is sending me for a bone scan...I have a lot of swelling on my sternum..to the side of the surgery site but not actually on it...he is concerned about it..expecially the soft tissue...and it is very painful xxx

    I am drinking my coffee before the nausea sets in...very very tired today.,....and really hacked off with it all xxx

    Much Love xxx

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  • livesstrong
    livesstrong Member Posts: 1,799
    edited January 2008

    Honey girl - that pic is the absolute best!!!! 

    Sue - I'm with Ulla, its about 6:30 your time.  I hope you are winding down and heading home soon.

    Love ya girlfriend,

    Valerie

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  • livesstrong
    livesstrong Member Posts: 1,799
    edited January 2008

    Sue, LOL - we posted at the same time.  Gotta go back and read how your day went.

    AE

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  • sueps
    sueps Member Posts: 2,266
    edited January 2008

    Lol AE great minds think alike...

    OMG Melody that picture is awesome....look at the tinman ...lol...god I love that picture...I love the film...what a brilliant story line and fantastic characters.Thankyou so much for posting it   xxx

    Going to make a cuppa xxx

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  • livesstrong
    livesstrong Member Posts: 1,799
    edited January 2008

    YIPPEE!!!!  The red devil is done, gone - asta' la vista' baby!!!!

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  • livesstrong
    livesstrong Member Posts: 1,799
    edited January 2008

    The hell with the cuppa - have a beer!!!!!

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  • livesstrong
    livesstrong Member Posts: 1,799
    edited January 2008

    Sue, I gotta get back to work - I just wanted you to know that I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!! YOU ROCK!!!!

    Aunty Em

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  • lvtwoqlt
    lvtwoqlt Member Posts: 6,162
    edited January 2008

    Sue, YOU MADE IT THROUGH THE RED DEVIL!!! I knew that you would make it, now take some time and rest.

    Sheila

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  • Ulla
    Ulla Member Posts: 840
    edited January 2008

    dear sue ,,i feel better now that i am hearing ur news...

    u got rid of the red devile,,,,yippeiii

    i am glad that u feel better with ur next CMF,,INSPITE THAT I HAD TAXOTERE....WELL I HAVE THE FLUROURACIL,,,AND THE EPIRUBCIN AND THE CYTOXAN ALLREADY ,,,THEN THE TAXOTERE ,,,SO WAT I MISS OF UR COCTAIL IS THE METHOTREXIATE,,,,I HOPE IT WILL NOT E SO BAD FOR ME TO MISS IT ,,LOL

    LOVE U ALLL  

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  • sueps
    sueps Member Posts: 2,266
    edited January 2008

    Ulla ...he said the FEC was a good one too....SO DON'T WORRY SISTER XXX  You did well having the FEC .... I will never do epiroo again xxx Feel sick YAK.... xxx

    Sheila ...thankyou ...I made it with all my sisters here for me !  XXXX

    Aunty EM ...I am proud of you , you rock more than a cuppa xxx You are me favourite Aunty LOL xxx

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  • portiasproudmom
    portiasproudmom Member Posts: 2,125
    edited January 2008

    Hi everyone!  It took me an hour to catch up on the posts!!  I've missed so much!

    Sue, I'm so glad you decided to come back.  I cannot tell you how much you'd be missed.  We all love you so dearly.  Thank you for posting the pics of yourself.  You look SO young!  And the others are right--you have the most gorgeous skin!  Nothing like my nasty, sun damaged shoe leather.  I wish I'd been more careful as a young girl.  I was definitely a sun worshiper back in the day.  Now I'm paying for it.  I want to see a pic of you with a huge smile on your face though.  You look so serious in all of the pics you posted.  You have such a wonderful sense of humor.  I always imagine you laughing and smiling a huge, beautiful smile when I picture you in my head.  You are such a young, beautiful girl, Sue!  You sort of look like Dorothy, you know that?

    And ULLA!  You are absolutely stunning!!  Look out Hollywood!  Va Va Voom!!!  And do you know what?  You're every bit as beautiful in the last pic as in the others.  I'm serious.  Why do you think you look fat and ugly?  It's just not true.  You are GORGEOUS!!!

    Hello to all the rest of you--Aunty Em, Poppy, Lisa, Melody, Shirlann, Wren, gb, Mia, Karyll, and everyone else.  I'll be back later to post pics from Leavenworth.  It was so beautiful there and relaxing.  I almost forgot about bootface and my stupid fender-bender from last Friday.

    Love and hugs,

    Karen

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  • portiasproudmom
    portiasproudmom Member Posts: 2,125
    edited January 2008

    Yippeee, Sue!!! One more down and no more red devil.  It will be smooth sailing from here on out!! 

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  • portiasproudmom
    portiasproudmom Member Posts: 2,125
    edited January 2008
    Uck.  I'm off to the store again.  Shall I pick you up some yummy chocolate again, Sue?  Sorry, I ate the bar I picked up for you last week Embarassed.  Oink, oink!!!
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  • Ulla
    Ulla Member Posts: 840
    edited January 2008

    HIIIII

    DEAR KAREN....

    I MISSED U SO SO MUCH..

    HOPE U HAD NICE TIME IN LEAVENWORTH..

    WAITING FOR UR PIX,,,

    LOVE U ALLL

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  • Sandy1941
    Sandy1941 Member Posts: 19
    edited January 2008

    Sueps in UK:  The world's largest breast cancer symposium is the 30th San Antonio Breast Cancer Symposiumand was held in San Antonio, Texas December 13-16, 2007.  Professionals come from every country to share the latest news, treatments, study results.  Try to google or use this site to find out the summary of their conference.  Good Luck!

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  • my3girls
    my3girls Member Posts: 3,766
    edited January 2008

    Hello sisters!!

    I just tried to catch up with all of you.  I won't even try to respond back to the 110 posts!! Oh my!! haha!

    I wanted to get on Saturday while my cake was baking...but our computer at home, the internet service is down!  Darn Time-Warner!Anyhow...I still have not been able to see all the pics that have been posted!! I can't wait until, Friday (they are coming to my home to fix it) when I can see them all! 

    Sue, I am glad that your last tx of the red devil is behind you!! WOOOHOOO!!! Yah Sue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can do this sweetie!! You are one strong lady!!!

    Ulla, just one thing...your words to Sue were beautiful and comforting!! You are a dear! Can't wait to see your Hollywood photos!!

    Matthew's b'day party was so wonderful!! The cake turned out really good.  I will post a pic later for everyone, when I get them from my Dad, it was his camera that we used.  I don't have a digital yet.  I can hardly believe my little guy is 3!!

    My kitchen sink is fixed (that was fun baking and not being able to use it) it was only a part that needed tightened!! I felt pretty stupid!  Oh well, I had a few other things for the plumber to fix..haha.

    I am working, and will check back.

    xoxo

    Lisa

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  • geebung
    geebung Member Posts: 1,851
    edited January 2008

    Sue - so thrilled you are done with the Red Devil and glad that you were able to talk with your onc about the latest findings on treatment. You are on the right track! Now, poor darling, you just have to weather the effects of this last RD treatment.

    Have to rush. Love to all. Catching a train today... Yes Sue - I'll be on the railway station but there is no sunlight - it's been the greyest Janurary here.

    Hugs everyone,

    gb xxx 

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  • honeygirl
    honeygirl Member Posts: 1,718
    edited January 2008

    Hi SueSmile! I'm so glad you are home and resting. I am glad too that you got to speak to your onc about the next chemo and why you are getting the cmf. I'm glad he took the time to explain everything. It sounds like he is on the ball and doing the best for you. And don't worry about breaking down , honey you have been through hell and back and he knows this. If you didn't break down , he would probably think something was wrong with you!lol Yes , the San Antonio Texas is a big confrence and I'm glad to here he was there getting all the latest info for you. Well Sue , the next couple weeks are gonna be rough , but then , it will start to get better and to know that the cmf will be easier is a blessing for sure. You know I've heard that women of cmf don't lose their hair , so I'm wondering if your hair will start growing back soon? I hope so. OK , I'm gonna go make a cuppa tea in your honor Sue. Chin , chin!

    Hi gb , please stick me in your pocket next train ride ,OK? I've never been on a train and would love to. Hope you had a lovely day.xxxx

    Ulla , well honey , Thurs will be here soon and we will be celebrating you and the end of the chemo crap. Hope your arm is feeling better.xxxx

    Hi Lisa , sounds like the party was great and your cake was a sucess. Awww , three , what a fun age! They are so full of wonder and questions at that age. Is Olivia feeling better? Glad to hear "Mr. Buttcrack" was able to fix your sink problems.lol xxxx

    Hi Karen , welcome back , yes , I can't wait to see your pics. Yes ,get Sue a BIG chocolate bar , she deserves it.xxxx

    HI Shirlann , Valerie , Wren , Mia , Poppy , Oh and Valsul , I am thinking and praying for you sister. Please come here if you can.xxxx Melody

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  • honeygirl
    honeygirl Member Posts: 1,718
    edited January 2008
    Well ladies , I didn't go to work today. There goes my overtimeYell from Sat. I woke up to a "run" of heart palpitations. Which means , they wouldn't stop , just kept having one after the other. This happened to me once before when they tried to take me off my bp med. And when they put me back on it(ziac) they stopped. So this time , I didn't know why I was getting them since I am on the ziac already. So I called my onc , thinking maybe the Effexor was causing it. He sent me to the hospital and had blood and urine tests ran. Then I went to see my gp. He did a ekg , which was fine. I got a call from my onc , and he said all was fine with the blood work. They both said to stay away from the caffiene. But I only have two cups of 50% less caffine coffee in the morning and if I have any in the evening , I make de-cafe. Although , my gp said he thought it may be drug related. So as of , 1pm today , they stopped , I did take a xanax when I got home. I am also wondering if maybe sub consciously , I am thinking of this time of year , is when I found out I had bootface. So , I might just take my xanax for a week. My nurse thought it may be the reason too. I'm glad they didn't take me off the Effexor , I sure don't want to have those drenching hot flashes again! Hope you all have a good evening.xxxx Melody
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  • sueps
    sueps Member Posts: 2,266
    edited January 2008

    Melody xxx

    I have just caught up,I fell asleep AGAIN grrr...anyway I have just had a nice fat cream and jam donut and a pack of chocolate minstrels...

     I wanted to tell you about the times I have them there stupid palpitations.... I don't think the ones I have are caffeine related as they always happen in the morning ....generally...and are different to the caffeine related in my opinion...I have had them a few times ...not many...and they are either stress related or if I am coming down with a virus or something...I do not trealise they are related as I am never feeling ill...but never fear a few days later I have a cold or something. In you case with the time of year and the BIG at the back of your head and in the front of your head anxiety...it is probably that...and now you have been checked over with blood tests I bet thats a relief ..... so sorry you lost your overtime.....grrrr....what a pain !!! xxxx Melody you are such a strength to me xxx

    Karen, I so cant wait to see the pics of your break....you are so lucky...AND YOU DO NOT HAVE SHOE LEATHER SKIN ....hahaha you make me laugh....your skin is silky .... and you are beautiful!!! xxxKiss Kiss

    gb..I forgot to tell you..I had a dream last night...I dreamt of huge ants ..huge huge beyond description...coming out of the bathroom...I was being invaded..and had to throw loads of bleach on them..then they all turned white and started chasing me...my god..lol...I think I had been reading your post about your laptop...lolololol

    Lisa ...hellooooooooooooo....cant wait til your pc is fixed....I hope you are having a nice day but I bet you left work now lol..I am so glad the birthday party went well....I think 3 year olds are amazing...and you have a wonderful grandson...awwwww...makes me all broody Surprised  I am hoping Olivia is much better...xxx

    Well I am going to try drink a drink before I think about work tmw...and whether Thomas will have sold up this time tomorrow...I am still wound up with his business activity and lack of front telling everyone .... men eh Wink

    Much Love xxx

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  • my3girls
    my3girls Member Posts: 3,766
    edited January 2008

    Hi Mel.  Yes the party was a success!

    Sorry to hear about your heart palpatations!  That is scary!  I had that once a few years ago.  It may have allot to do with this time of year.  Just think to where we were almost a year ago!  They  found my lump on 1/29/07. It was confirmed on 3/6/07.  So, I am sure those feelings come right back.  Very natural.  So the effexor is really helping your hot flashes? Good, that is good to know.

    You take it easy missy, and enjoy your cuppa.

    I bet our Sue is sleeping...hopefully.

    I can't wait to see all the pics I have missed on here!  I wish I could see them here at work...but they are blocked.Cry

    Feeling very tired again.  Oh...sorry forgot to answer the question about Olivia, and thanks for asking.  She is soooo much better.  She still has the cough, but feeling like her old self again.  I make her rest as much as she can.

    Sisters, I am starting to get some anxiety about my upcoming surgery.  Yesterday, I held my Mom's photo..and cried.  I asked her to let me know some way that I was doing the right thing.  I just worry about all of it.  I need to get a new will made.  I worry about what if's too much!

    back to work...I love you all!!

    xoxo

    Lisa

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  • sueps
    sueps Member Posts: 2,266
    edited January 2008

    OH        ((((((((Lisa Lisa Lisa))))))))   xxxxxxxxxx

    You are feeling it is all too much as you are tired...and you are tired because you lead a busy life ...and you have had so much go on this past year!!!!! You have been through an ordeal ...with so much sh t.

    ...and you got through it....Please Please dont worry too much about surgery...I know its easier said than done...and it is very daunting and scarey...etc.....but if it was too much the docs wouldnt do it !! would they!!! A few weeks of pain some good pain meds ...and you will be on the recovery....

    Coping with all this on your own is such a task BUT you have us all to support you....some  people can't cope with life let alone a life with boot face..... You are one of the extraordinary girls xxx

    I LOVE YOU LISA.....please sling all your worries on the next airplane to the UK ...and I will hold them for the next day xxx

    I am sending you lots of love and understanding Lisa...about your mum, your worries ....and all that runs through your mind xxx

    I havent got round to making a will...I wouldnt know who would look after my boys ... I must motivate myself xxx

    I am off for a cuppa ...and bed I havent moved an inch ...and Zippy is leaning on me..with his white paws and his little pink pads...hes one of the cleanest cats I know LOL...he looks all brand new xxx

    Much Love xxx

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  • portiasproudmom
    portiasproudmom Member Posts: 2,125
    edited January 2008

    Oh Lisa!  Don't talk that way.  You're going to be FINE.  I know it's scary, but look at how many women have this procedure done.  You're going to come through it with flying colors and have a beautiful set of boobies to show for it! 

    I'm so glad your grandson's party was a success and that Olivia is feeling better.

    I'm going to try and post my Leavenworth pics.

    Hugs to all,

    Karen

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  • portiasproudmom
    portiasproudmom Member Posts: 2,125
    edited January 2008

    Good night, Sue!  Rest well sweetheart.  I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Karen

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  • sueps
    sueps Member Posts: 2,266
    edited January 2008

    Karen ...I love you!!!! Can't wait to see your pics....Leavenworth is like a picture postcard..absolutely amazing xxx

    Sweet Dreams Sisters xxxx

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  • my3girls
    my3girls Member Posts: 3,766
    edited January 2008

    Thank you Sue...your kind words and inspiration mean allot to me.  I know I am not doubting my ability to get through this next hurdle...I am just very emotional lately.  I think it is the timing..of the dx last year soon coming, then with being alone, and worried about money, and this surgery, just feeling a bit overwhelmed.

    Karen, I want to see your pics too...but I have to wait until my server at home is fixed, hopefully on Friday.

    I know I have new boobies to look forward too...I just hope and pray that it all looks good when it's done.  Not that I have anyone to show them too..Cry

    sweet dreams to you, my dear, dear Sue!! Much love to you!

    xoxo

    Lisa

    Feeling tired and headache, etc again.  I wish if I was going to get sick..it would just happen!

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  • portiasproudmom
    portiasproudmom Member Posts: 2,125
    edited January 2008

    Here we are on the sleigh.

    Kind of light--all you can see on Portia is that stupid pink hair!!  I'll be glad to see that grow out!

    Here we are standing up in the back row.  The horse's names are Luke and Duke.  Aren't they cute?

    Rhuel likes it so much there that he talked about buying a vacation cabin.  That would be heavenly!!!

    Sweet dreams everyone!  Stay warm.  It's supposed to be down in the 20's again tonight.  I know that's warm compared to what some of you are experiencing.

    Hugs,

    Karen

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  • portiasproudmom
    portiasproudmom Member Posts: 2,125
    edited January 2008

    Are you going home soon, Lisa?  It sounds like you're trying to catch Olivia's crud.  You should be home resting and drinking tea.  Hope you feel better tomorrow.

    Love and Hugs,

    Karen

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  • Shirlann
    Shirlann Member Posts: 3,302
    edited January 2008

    OHHHH KAREN!   The pix are gorgeous!

    Hi Sue and Ulla!  Our two warriors.

    And we got precious Lisa back!  You worried us, girl, we need you.

    I love you all and wish we were all together.  Just to hug, cry, laugh, hug, cry, giggle.  You know, what girls do.

    All of you have a good sleep.

    I love you, Shirlann

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  • geebung
    geebung Member Posts: 1,851
    edited January 2008

    I do look forward to coming home and reading all your posts. So good to see you back Lisa. I can relate to how you are feeling about your upcoming surgery. When I was first dx last year I was more worried about having a general anaesthetic than the bc as I had never had surgery before. But just think of all the women who go through this operation every day. It will be so good for you to feel whole again. The great thing about recon is that it is a positive surgery - it gives you something back to replace what has been taken away. When I put it like that, I start to feel tempted to have it myself!

    Glad that Olivia is feeling better and the party was a success. You have a very busy life! 

    Melody, it's very understandable about your palpitations. I think we squash things down sometimes because we don't really want to confront them but they sometimes manifest themselves in physical symptoms. I think I get them too - wake up some nights with my heart pounding for no apparent reason. It's reassuring that your blood results were good.

    I love trains - especially steam engines. I went on on one in the mountains last year - they are wonderful things - they seem alive - sort of like friendly dragons - puffing and wheezing and working so hard to climb up the hills.

    Karen - great photos! What a lovely family shot! And the horses...I just love big draught horses with their huge shaggy feet. Big horses often have very gentle characters. I want to go to Leavenworth too! Sorry you had a few stresses between your dh & dd. I absolutely hate family discord. You want your family to be a haven of solace and when it's not, it's very upsetting.

    Sue - what a terrifying dream, no - nightmare! It's strange how just one little mention of something can resurface in your dreams. Hmmm, I could analyse that one for you...! I'm glad I didn't say anything about scarier creepy crawlies! Oh I so hope that you have a better time after this red devil. Talk about courage under fire, you amazing woman.

    Ulla - you are such a wonderful support to Sue - you say so many great, encouraging things - you inspire everyone. Wow - what a woman! Oh, but you are all fabulous!  

    Even though I am complaining about doing this course, (every day for 3 weeks) I am getting a bit of focus and direction. At the moment I am thinking of becoming a teachers' assistant - the pay is good but you don't have the same stress levels and responsibilities. Am also considering doing a short course to qualify me to teach literacy to adults or even English as a second language. Last year (thanks to bc) I lost all focus and confidence - I think I am starting to get it back now. Have to learn to believe in myself a bit more and do some positive self talk. Confidence is so important in this cut throat world...

    Love to all you precious sisters, including Sheila, Shirlann, Karyll, Mouse, Mia and everyone.

    Hugs to all 

    gb 

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