please help
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I have to smile when I read all this, and your post Sue about "I'll just have the other one off". Isn't amazing, how good Nature is to us in some ways? The terrible fear thing, terrified of the mastectomy and all that comes and then nearly immediately afterwards saying thats that then - off with the other! I asked my oncologist about it, because like many here I think - why wait for another occurrence if this is such high risk. He explained that his process is to treat the active disease, then wait about a year all together to decide about the other breast - and how high stress, high risk, either recurrence and/or prophylactic surgery would be. So that is what I have been doing. Ignoring the one that's there whilst getting through chemo, asuming that chemo will keep anything else in my body at bay. Then - looking into the other one. (that sounds peculiar)
Hope your first day full back at work is a good one. It was a great thing for me - I didn't have time to dwell or think what was wrong with me, I just kind of had to get on with it!!!!!
Blessings
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Hey Sue
! I did it! Yeah.I love your kittys. Zippy is soooo cute. As soon as I get my film developed , I will put up a pic of lilly. So , its back to the grind tomorrow... Please don't over do it. I know , its hard not to. I hope your not getting sick. Well , your probably in bed by now.Sweet dreams Sweet Sue. Hugs and prayers to you for a good day tomorrow.xx
Shirlann , love the pics! You are goregous. I remember the pic of you when I first came here. It was you and a monkey. It was the cutest thing ever! You are a beautiful looking family. I love whipets. They are so sleek looking. I miss having a dog too. I once had an ahfgan hound I dearly loved. He was so handsome. He was all black. With the greatest personality ever. I named him Sir Belvedere of Havisham(msp) (from the movie great expectations). Dogs are such great companions. Cats on the other hand , well they deffinately have their own personality.
Karen , sorry to hear your hair is leaving. I hated that part most of all.I bought a wig , but only wore it three times. I was a scarf person. Until about two weeks ago. I have hair. Its very , very short , but I gotta be me! , and I was just done with the scarves. Good luck with the chemo. Yes , post pics of your puppies. Join our "pooch and kitty parade"!
Poppy , your son and doggie are to cute! NOW , I want one of those dogs! I guess I better just settle with lilly , she is more than I can handle.lol
Happy Halloween everyone!
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Evenin' ladies - I love all the pictures, its so nice putting faces to names. I can't believe how many of us have/had furbabies. They are all adorable.
Sue, glad to see you are heading back to work but do take it easy the first week or so. Remember, you come first.
Valerie
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Sue, Zippy is almost identical to my cat (recently deceased)! He used to lie on his back in the sun and look so languid and happy. He would slowly twist and turn and roll - like a swimmer in water - SO graceful. Zippy is gorgeous and Jason looks sweet too - I love tabby/white cats.
Hope you had a good day at work and didn't overdo things and get too tired. Will look forward to your next post.
hugs,
gb
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YOOHOO ...Hello everyone xx
Well I am crashed out from work right now.....arghhh...my legs are shaking with being on my feet .... I was supposed to do an 11-3 but ended up doing a 9-4.....So I thankyou for all your kind wishes as I took it easy...and allowed myself a 5 minute break ...lol....
I am still taking the anti D's they havent started to work yet...I just hope I stick at them.....the sickness has subsided though...I took quite a lot of pain killers just to take the edge off of the stretching...
It is a pleasure that I head straight to this board when I fire up my laptop...to see how you all are....I used to always check my E Mails first but now they are second best...
I hope you all have/had a good day....Zippy has been screeching and squawing at me since I got in..he's a daft one....
I am still very scared and getting wary of the chemo..I tried to look for the wig shop on my way home as I drove...and sighed relief when I didn't come across it.....living once again in partial denial...
gb...thats amazing that your cat was like Zippy...Zippy is 10 now so hes pushing on a bit...xx
Melody..I can't wait to see baby Lily ..lol...xx
Karyll....you describe your going back to work exactly as mine..xx
Thank you so very much everyone! For holding me close xx
Much love xxx
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Hey Sweet Sue, imagine, you back at work! What a gal, WOW, you are so strong. I worked, but, and this is a big but, I sat down. HUGE difference.
We have lots of Subway's here in San Diego, and the gals work their tails off. So to be back at work is just wonderful. You are quite the gal, our English Rose.
I LOVED the pix of your furbabies! And Honeygirl's too. I can't do a thing without Fumi, our resident computer genius. She is something.
Well, now it is time for you, Sweet Sue, to begin to relax and hug your kitties. Cuddle in something soft and have a cuppa!
You are loved and cherished, dear Sue, so have a lovely sleep.
Hardest part is over.
Oh, don't get impatient, the anti-deps are very subtle and slow. No big reaction at all, you will just begin to hum. Remember that.
Love you, sweetie, Shirlann
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Hi Sue
how did your day go today?
I thought of you and got myself a 6" sub Marinara meatball with cheese and olives my favorite!
i Bet your knackerd!
Melody I must say your son is a hunk! You must be constantly answering the phone to the girls!
i have started to worry about the pain. I had my pre-op day today and they told me how it would be with no rose tinting at all!
they said that I would be in for at least a week. They said I would have to have injections in my belly to thin the blood. I asked if it was painful and the nurse said. Ow dont worry about that It'll be nothing compared to the other pain from the op!
I think now that I dont have to worry so much about the cancer being invasive now I am moving to the next priority, THE PAIN!
Ow well bring on the morphine!
Let us know how it went Sue
Poppy
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Sorry I must have been writing my message whilst you were writing! LOL
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Poppy, good luck on your surgery, just remember while taking the morphine drugs, take something to avoid constipation. I drank apple juice, no prescription here for that problem
. I am having my 2nd stage of implant recon tomorrow and will be off the boards for a week.
Sue, don't work too hard! listen to your body and when it says rest - REST. I also like you furbaby.
Sheila
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Poppy! Meatballs...lol..meatball day on a Tuesday...I see them in my sleep that night...haha...when I dash off to work in the morning..I call each day of the week by the sub of the day to my sons'...so tomorrow it isn't Friday here its tunaday lol...I love meatballs...loads of calories though but who cares..
I know what you mean about the pain issue...the fact of why we have surgery pales into significance for that stage....but honestly you will feel relief when you come round...and yes the pain is there BUT they give you loads of pain relief...they gave it by a drip and by a syringe in my mouth....I had to have loads of anti nausea meds though as the morphine..whoooosh that is strong stuff.....
I was mainly concerned with the rubbish aftermath pain when I got home...and it happened on about day 5 .....so I went out of hours and got some TRAMADOL....ask for this when you leave hosp...it is FAR better than co codamol etc....made me feel relief ...and also relieves your head for a while....
I know your op is much bigger than mine...but the key to it is the pain meds....I will be thinking so much of you nxt week....I just shut my eyes in my head and thought sink or swim...and I managed to swim....and look I am back to work..... It is the most nastiest experience (not the op but the overall thing) but what can we do....we have to carry on and always have an image of our boys in our heads...bcos that really helped .......
You're nurse telling you that LOL....YOU WILL DO FINE ..... you really really will xxxx
Sheila....xx Good luck tomorrow...I will be thinking of you....and looking forward to when you are recovering and back in touch with us all ..... You have been a fantastic strength to me...xx
Much Love xxx
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Hey Shirlann....You always make me feel nice
.... I hope you have a wonderful day..xx I am taking all your advice and I will pop the pills with patience...You did well going back to work too...xx
I am on my 3rd cup of tea since I got in...I love tea at night...I drink coffee in the day to keep me going...but tea means rest up...lol...I also just ate my umpteenth plate of leafy greens...I believe leafy greens are good, so I am told...they will be coming out my ears by the weekend!
Of course I am not in Zippys' best books not eating meat all week , so he's had no nibbles....although he loves potato peelings! He's stopped speaking to me so I will get him a treat tmw and buy his love ...lol
Much Love to you xxx
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Ah yes, Sweet Sue, my Dusty is mad at me, I just got back from lunch with my old boss and I only brought him 2 tiny pieces of chicken! NOT ENOUGH!
You sound so much better. I am so glad, whew! I think you are past the really bad part. Now, chemo, here we go again, but you can do this. Some of our gals work, how, I don't know, but they do. Sounds like your boss loves you so much (just like us) that you can work about any time you want. So that is good.
Anyway, little one, curl up with the kitties, and sleep. I will now quote Shakespeare: "Sleep, oh sleep, where is thy blessed morpheus......". Ah, that is the one.
Love you, sweetie, Shirlann
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Poppy, all the best for your operation. I will be thinking of you and Sheila, good luck for your surgery - hope it goes really well.
hugs
gb
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Sue, you are sounding better - maybe the meds are starting to gradually work but I suspect it is your inner strength, keeping you going in spite of still feeling down. The meds will marry well with this strength and you will feel much more impervious to fear and worry.
Hold those kitties close and hear their soothing purrs while you sip your tea.
hugs,
gb
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gb....that's a good word....impervious.....You're so thoughtful....I hope you're in bed...or is it morning...lol...I am all confused...whatever it is I hope you're happy in whatever you're doing...
I've got strength ... just feel I'm up against a big one with no chance..maybe 2 years or something,I'm still obsessed with it landing somewhere.....but there is nothing I can do and the meds help get me through... I guess I'm trying to learn to live with the fear....
Work is a huge welcome distraction....
Thanks gb.... for always being there , I always look out for you xxx
I will be in bed soon...I'm bushed ! LOL
Much love xxx
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Hi Sue
! Go Sue , go Sue , go Sue , back to work , good for you. Now , you're goin' to bed. You do need to get lots of rest. Work helps you get back into a more normal swing of things. That helped me mentally.
Awww , poor Zippy , he was use to you being home with him. I know , tomorrow on tunaday , bring him home some. He'll be so happy , he'll be grinin' like the cat in Alice in wonderland!lol My OH picks up heart healthy salads every Tues. from Subway. I love them. Plus I don't have to cook on Tues.! Well , its not Tues. , so I must go get dinner on. Have a great day tomorrow Sue. I'll be thinkin' of ya. xxx Melody
Sheila , good luck tomorrow. I will say prayers for you. Let us know as soon as you can , how everything went.xx
Poppy , it will be ok , honest. The drugs they give you will get you through it. I know it is all so over-welming to think about. Your gonna do great. Good luck to you too. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
My son is a little hunk , isn't he!lol He is just as beautiful on the inside too. I have been blest with a great kid. Well , take care. Hugs , Melody
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Sue,
I hope you are fast asleep and dreaming happy dreams!! Congrats on getting thru your first day back, you sound sooo much better. Listen to Sheila, when your body says rest, you rest!! And don't worry about chemo, we're all here to get you thru it.
Poppy & Sheila - wishing the best. let us know how you both make out.
l almost forgot, tonight when I was walking my Bloodhound, Delbert, we came upon a cat that looked just like Zippy!!! Delbert went crazy and wanted to attack it, meanwhile the cat's back was arched and it was hissing like mad!! All the while I'm thinking "that cat looks just like Zippy"!!! Too funny.
Gotta run, sweet dreams everyone.
Valerie
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Sue, you're fast asleep by now, but I just wanted to check in to tell you how proud I am of you for working a full day right off the bat. You are something else! What an incredibly strong woman you are. Don't worry so much about the chemo. I won't lie--it isn't fun, but you know what? I think I know you well enough now to be able to say that you're going to breeze right through it. And after it's all over, I guarantee that you'll appreciate feeling well like you never have before. I'll NEVER complain about little aches and pains again
Rest well Sue. Have a wonderful day tomorrow.
Hugs,
Karen
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Hello Everyone.....xx
Just checking in to send you all my love and hope you are all 'OK' .....I have had a busy day today....but nasty thoughts keep creeping in my head for some reason....today I feel that life is very unfair and I am too young to die...I don't feel depressed just sad that this is going on...cos I love my boys and I love my job ...I love being alive....I feel like I am getting off the train too early....
Sorry ....just my overall thought for today...it must be my mind working through it whilst taking a step back...and my friends make me laugh so much at work, then my heart kind of stops with fleeting thoughts...
Oh my I sound like a right whingebag ...and I might not even get off of the train...I am just rambling my thoughts....
Anyway I found the wig shop...and when my hair grows back short..I am going to get some hair extensions....my friends gave my that idea..I never thought .... they are clever lol... xx
Much Love xxx
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Karen , Valerie and Melody....xx
I love you leaving me posts...I always like to know all of you are 'OK' its as if we keep each other going....
I know I may not help you like you help me.....but I am so grateful to you all...and I feel like I have known you all forever xxxx
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We're still watching your back, Sue. I scrolled up and read a lot of the last two days posts.
You'll be o.k., Sue. Lots of years to raise and watch your boys, and bring home the bacon and live your life!
Chemotherapy will help make this your reality. I am wondering how your arm is doing? Have you stretched it so at work (you know, used it) such that you are adapting to the pain, feeling?
I think of you and the others here a lot! It's a good group, filled with fortitude and love.
Tender -
Hello Tender xx
My arm is getting much better..I managed to get through the day with just one pain med...the most pain is under my arm ...which will probably get better with stretching.... I still find it too painful to make amy sandwiches at work but I am OK to do the till...so thats all good ... I have a stabbing pain under my arm....but going back to work I would say has helped my overall physical recovery...
I am hesitant about the chemo .... very hesitant....with the surgery I felt fear...with this upcoming treatment I have monotonous dread...I will feel better on Weds when I see the oncology...I hope....and I do wish with every beat of my heart that I will do well for my boys....
Its always a comfort to hear your gentle encouragement xx
Much Love xxx
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Ok, I'm going to try it. I hope it works!
Yippee!! Here are my two senior citizen "puppies"!!
Hugs,
Karen
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Ohhhhhhhhh Karen xx...your 'puppies' are absolutely beautiful! They look really chilled out and healthy...and indeed the best of friends....awww they look like they're saying 'the camera's out again' haha ...you must get a lot of love from them both....Thankyou so much for posting them! What a treat xxx
I hope you are ok...you always make me feel bright , breezy and loved! xxx
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They are honestly like brother and sister, Sue, even though they are different breeds. It's a beautiful, clear, chilly fall day here today, and they are outside laying in the sun together. Very cute.
I was so glad to hear that your arm is feeling better. Try not to worry so much about chemo. It isn't fun, but you can do it. You only feel really yucky for about four or five days. I think I only felt so awful because I had that reaction to the Neulasta. It doesn't usually effect people that way, but it does hit us younger women a little harder because we supposedly have more bone marrow.
Take care, Sue. Have a wonderful weekend!
Love and hugs,
Karen
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Hi Sue,
Just checking in. Sorry to hear your arm pit is still sore. It is such a sensitive area and was by far the most painful part of my surgery - and I only had 2 nodes out. You are doing amazingly well. Even though it isn't easy you just keep going and I do admire you so much.
More beautiful photos! Karen, your dogs are so beautiful! They do look laid back and happy.
I loved the photos of your Whippet, Shirlann. What a perfect athlete! Every muscle defined and stretched to the limit - brilliant shots! My sister gave me a book on puppies and the section on Whippets has gorgeous photos of a mother whippet with her beautiful puppies. They have such beautiful, sensitive faces. I can't wait to get a puppy! But how will I choose? I love so many different breeds!
Melody - loved your photo of you and your son. You are both gorgeous and there's a lovely chemistry that is obvious - even in a photo. So glad you have a good son to support you.
Love to all
gb
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Here's my little guy. He was Tom (from the Tom and Jerry classic cartoons) on Halloween. He has sort of a silly look on his face, but he looked really cute in the costume and he had so much fun!
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He is SO cute Karen! What a great costume! - So glad he had a good time. You are a great mom - even though you are going through trials, you manage to let him have fun times like this. He must be such a joy to you.
hugs,
gb
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Hi Sue
! First I want to give you big hugs ((((((sue)))))) I remember feeling exactly like you did today. I would start laughing with my friends and havin' fun and then boom , the thought that "this moment would be great , but I have bc. And I would have that "nothing will be the same again feeling". And I finally came to a point that I said to myself , self ," you can't live waiting for the other shoe to fall , if it does so be it , BUT , right now I am fine. I feel great and each day , I feel stronger and better and I'm not gonna waste one more minute on fear and what ifs". I think you will get to that point to Sue. I pray that it comes soon. You are a lovely , young woman. You have sooo much to give to this world. You will laugh with your friends , take care of those fabulous boys of yours , love your OH , take care of Zippy and his neurotic nature and of course help , cry , laugh , vent , think , and feel with all of us! Just keep moving forward Sue , thats what counts. Ok? OK! Hope you have a great weekend
Much love to you , Melody
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gb , thank you for your kind words. He is my one and only , and I love him to death! Its funny , he is the one person in this world that calms me down. He was a godsend through this whole journey.
Karen , awwww , what incredibly beautiful doggies. I do believe dogs are one of God's special blessings. Thats why God spelled backwards is dog!
Your little guy is adorable. I love the outfit. Halloween is sooo much fun. You get to dress up and trick or treat , doesn't get any better than that! And all that you have "on your plate" right now , your the best mom ever. Hang tight Karen , after chemo , it really does get better. Five weeks after your last chemo , you should start to see your hair growing. At least thats how mine went. Are you craving anything? I craved potatoes after my chemo. I think it was the starch that would settle my stomach. Or , at least I could tolerate it. Take care.
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