Cytoxan and Taxotere ?

Hi Everyone,

I'm still kicking, just so very tired. I feel like a wet noodle. The se's seem to be following the same pattern as last time, except the fatigue is lasting longer. Bah! I'm going to attempt to leave the house today since my husband will be along to help. I hope the kids don't make me regret it. lol

The tingling in my hands and feet has improved so maybe it'll just come and go like some of the other se's. (I can hope) Most of the bone pain I'm having is in my jaw, head, and shoulders and some in my legs. I just kept popping the ibuprofen yesterday and it was enough. I wanted to take a Darvocet because it works so well, but I'm afraid it'll make the big C worse. I'm taking 3 stool softeners and 2 magnesium before bed and still having issues. My poor colon. lol I guess there's always prune juice.

So, I'm curious how you handle how cancer has changed your perceptions, if it has? Here's an example from my life: my husband had to work yesterday, so my mom came over to help me with the kids. It was her birthday, so we had cake and ice cream, but she was kind of mopey. I didn't understand why until she said something negative about getting older. I said, well, I'll take it cuz it beats the alternative. That was bitchy, huh? But, who complains about being alive in front of someone who has cancer??? I try not to project to the future, but it's times like that where it's hard not to think about it. My children are 5 and 2, so I'll gladly take another 20 yrs of getting old to be with them until they're young adults. I know my mom wasn't being insensitive on purpose, but I'm so impatient with people who don't understand how everything has changed for me. Is it just me? Am I still in chemo rage? I didn't feel angry yesterday, just a tad cranky. Thanks for letting me vent!

Christine - glad you're feeling better. I hope you have some time to enjoy it before your next tx. Thanks for all the studies and research info. I'm definitely an info junky.

Lisa - I'm glad having your hair buzzed wasn't too traumatic. How nice of your friend to bring flowers. What would we do without our friends though this?

Zaps - thanks for sharing your experience and the reminder that this too shall pass. I hear ya on the hair! I used to complain about mine, but now I'll take whatever I can get. lol

Joanna - I haven't been told to stay away from public pools. In fact, I asked my chemo nurse if my port was a problem with pools and she said said not at all. But, then again, all pools have the potential to transmit illness, so I guess it just depends. My children take swim lessens every summer and the summer before last at least 2 classes were canceled because there were health concerns those days. That kind of creeped me out, but at least I knew they were diligent about checking the bacteria levels and such. You can call the pool you plan to go to and ask them how they maintain a safe pool. I would also recommend staying out of the kiddie pool, for obvious reasons, lol.

JayBub - I went into chemopause during AC. I finished a period right before my first chemo, then had another period on the day of my 2nd tx and that was the last one. It wasn't too bad for the most part. I had some days where all I felt like doing was crying, but those only lasted until the hot flashes started which was right after my last AC. The hot flashes weren't as bad as I expected. They were mostly a problem at night, but it was really hot here at the time which didn't help. They have since tapered off and I would consider them pretty mild for the most part. I tended to be on the cold side before them, so now I'm more like everyone else. lol

Cynthia

Lisa,
How did you do with round 2?

Christine, this is about a week and a half after round 2 of TC for you? I can't handle the heat normally, and this summer it does seem worse, but I think irritants are worse when you are dragged down by the chemo.

Cynthia, I would be annoyed as well by someone who was complaining about getting old. We all should be so blessed. People seem to have a knack for saying the wrong thing lately.


Joanne

Hi Kim,
That is smart to get as prepared for chemo as possible although many aspects are out of our control.
I believe they tell you to eat lots of protein to help rebuild your blood cells and to give you long lasting energy as opposed to let's say simple carbs. How are you preparing, have they given you all the prescriptions for steroids and anti-nausea meds?

Joanne

Hi, JayDub and Kim:
It is good to prepare as much as possible. It gave me a sense of having some control. Prepare yourself that it's ok to feel aprehensive for the first round. There will be a feeling of anciety as to how long the symptoms will last, and what they will be. But it will pass. I'd reccommend shopping for protein powder now, and maybe even freeze some peeled bananas or other fruit so you can just plop it in the blender each morning. Just make a smoothie automatically each morning of your rough days - whether you feel like drinking one or not. Look at it as medicine.
We can get through this! I started tx # 2 yesterday, and I am not feeling fabulous...but the smoothie is inbound

Hi Traci,

My understanding is that they do not routinely do scans, not unless you have symptoms. They do mammograms and MRIs (if you have anything left that warrants one of those) but otherwise that is it.
My mom was tripple negative and she is going strong almost 20 yrs laters.

Lisa, Hang in there, I hope your bad days are few this round.

Thanks to all for your support:

JayDub - Good luck to you as well, we'll all be thinking of you.

Lisa - Smoothies sound good, I'll put the protien power and the fruit on my grocery list for this weekend. Hope you feel better.

JoAnn - I still need to get the "pharmacy" unloaded out of my car, can't imaging remembering to take all these pills!

Will keep everyone posted, this board is great and everyone offers so much support.

Kim

Hi Cynthia:

So glad to hear you had a good day out on Sunday. Sometimes, just getting out of the house helps. About muscle cramps, I have been taking L-Glutamine. I feel it has helped me with muscle pains.

This afternoon, I went to attend a "look good and Feel good" program by American Cancer Society. Had a lot of fun. They gave us each a bag full of make-ups. They taught us how to apply make up when we no longer have eye brows and eye lashes. They showed us how to put on wiggs and scarves, etc. Met a few nice ladies there.

Has anyone of you attended one of those before?

BTW, we have a Pomeranian. He is our baby. We also have two teenagers.

Christine

Cynthia - Great you have gotten out a bit and hopefully are feeling better. I can't imagine doing this with young kids! It is a challenge with teens!
Lisa, hope you are approaching the "start to feel better phase".
I went to one of those "Look Good....". I got tons of makeup but unfortunately alot of it I can't use - too light for me and the makeup women was a no-show, but it was great to meet some other women in person and chat about the chemos and hair loss and how to drag yourself to work kind of topics. The nurse who ran it was great as well. I still really don't know how to do scarves so I haven't bought any - I keep thinking they would slip right off my head.



Joanne

Hello Ladies
I was wondering if anyone has noticed an increase in her appetite since she started chemo. I had my first course of TC a week ago and since then I feel hungry quite often, much more often than I ever used to. I also think that I really eat more since I started chemo. Is it me ? Is it related to chemo ? Or it’s my upset tommy .... that makes me think that food is a relief ?

To my surprise, I have to admit that I found the first course of TC rather mild. I did not have any significant side effects. Minor complains e.g. fatigue, aches, change of taste etc, but nothing major and persistent. Clearly this made me feel better emotionally and convinced me that chemo is doable and there is light at the end of the tunnel. I know it is a personal thing, but I hate feeling that I am a patient and my whole life has changed and become organized around tests, doctor appointments and drugs. Sometimes I get to this mood "God let me live for as long as my destiny is without having to deal with doctors, drugs and therapies all the time. Even if I have to live for a short time, I will accept it, just make it peaceful and as normal as possible". Is it just me or everyone goes through this phase ? I am 40y old and sometimes I wonder if this reaction is normal or it is a sign of depression or despair.

Best wishes and love to all of you

Daphne98

Hey, Girls:
My best to all of you. So glad we have this board.
Daphne: I can totally relate. As a matter of fact I felt that way about an hour ago. Not feeling so perky. Some s/e's have been a bit less excrutiating this round (no mouth ulcers, less bone pain, headaches slightly less severe), while others are still bad (screaming ulcer, can't sleep because headaches are at their worst when I lie down).

Do any of you ever feel overcome by a flu-like feeling - everything aches at once, and you just want to crawl up in a ball? These moments last about 25 minutes for me, once a day. I actually get panicky, which is not like me. (Cynthia, maybe this is similar to how you've been feeling...although onc says my counts are ok)
Traci: I know what you mean! I feel like flab woman. Actually I have lost about 20 lbs (got yelled at by the onc), but what I do have is so loose right now.
Joanne, I liked the Look Good...thing too. Lots of spendy makeup brands that I could never normally afford!

If I can just make it to Sunday, I know I will be ok.

Daphne,
Your feelings are not at all unusual. I think it is very hard to escape the depression, despair and the life expectancy questions when you have this disease. I have days of this, but fortunately not that often. I also have a shrink who had bc 20 yrs ago. I also am sick of doctors, blood tests, buying drugs, etc. I am due to get my eyes examed and my thyroid checked and I am putting it off til I am done chemo. The in-between chemo times when I don't feel bad are too precious right now to spend at the docs.

Got some stuff at Headcovers.com - great site, thanks for the tip.

Lisa, I know you will be better by Sunday, it will be here before you know it. I too figure if I can make it til Mon, I am good. Last time the weekend was the toughest.

I eat weird foods during chemo when I can't control myself. I bought a box of cracker jacks the other day just cause they were there. I think I feel sorry for myself and figure what the heck, I deserve this junk. Typically though I make myself eat pretty good stuff when I can and I am making myself walk in the AM before the nasty humidity gets me! It is one of the only things that makes me feel normal for awhile.

Joanne

Traci - I'm definitely going to try the wind tunnel! What a great idea. We only have a ceiling fan in our bedroom, but I'm going to get a fan asap. lol

Daphne - I'm definitely eating more or at least more often. I was never a snacker before and now I seem to eat all day long. I know I'm not hungry, but I have a strong urge to eat. My tummy jiggles like jello now.

I also want to be done with being a patient. I plan to get every possible medical procedure and test done this year so I can start next year fresh. I know I'll still need to see my onc and have mammos and regular paps because of the Tamoxfen, but maybe that will be all. I can hope, I guess.

Glad your first TC was uneventful and you're feeling ok.

Christine - I've also had weird feelings around my port. My port bothered me so much in the beginning. It didn't settle down for a couple of months, but now it just mainly itches.

Did you find it helpful to talk to a psychologist? I've been considering therapy for months now. But, it's just one more thing I would need to add to my plate, not to mention the effort of finding one who takes my insurance. I know my marriage could use it. lol

Lisa - I feel for you. I hope you get some sleep tonight. It's great that your counts are good! I don't know how to describe the pain I'm having. Sometimes the pain is sharp, sometimes achy, sometimes burning like, and sometimes a mixture. Guess it can't make up it's mind. lol

Best wishes everyone - we're getting there!

Cynthia

I'm having a rough day. I feel like I can't do this anymore.

Lisa,
Remember what you said, if you can get thru til Sunday things will get better! I felt that way my first Tx like quitting. You can do this, it is hard, but just hang in there. Naps, water, thinking this too will pass.

Joanne

Lisa - {{hugs}} Sorry to hear you're having a rough time. I hope the worst of it passes quickly. I often felt as if I couldn't go on, and still feel that way during the worse days. You can do it! Just a couple more days and you'll start to feel normal again. I'll be thinking of you.

I'm doing better today - still in pain but much less. I only just now had to take some ibuprofen. I think it's still a combination of Taxotere and Neupogen pain, but maybe the T pain is lessening. Only one more shot to go!

So, a good thing happened today. We picked up my husband for an early lunch, and since the restaurant wasn't open yet, we walked around the plaza while we waited. I wandered into a health food store and the sale's clerk mentioned that she does acupressure. I'm so excited. I had been looking for another acupressure person because mine had told me that if my body had been more alkaline I wouldn't have gotten cancer. I told him he was wrong, and vowed never to go back. Even better, when I mentioned the lymphedema issue she said that the owner of the store had completed a month long class on lymphedema massage. And, the store is only 10 minutes from my house instead of 30 minutes for the other place. While I was there she sold me a powdered magnesium supplement that you mix in hot water. She said it helps a lot with muscle pain and other issues. I shall see, lol. It can't hurt and will help with the Big C, at any rate. Oh, speaking of that, I now have a bleeding hemorrhoid again. Bah! At least it doesn't hurt this time, but it bleeds more than it did last time. Wth?!

Warm wishes to everyone! We can do it one day at a time!

Cynthia