Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!

I was so overwhelmed by the response from my Bar Show castmates when I e-mailed them before rehearsals bega to drop out of this year's show--as well as from fans, colleagues in the folk music community, and online Acoustic Guitar Forum buddies, most of whom I’ve never met but with whom I’ve corresponded. Several of the latter are bc survivors themselves, and gave me tips on how to deal with rads & AIs even before I found BCO. When I went to my annual regional folk conference (FARM) in Iowa City this past Oct. after originally having had to take myself out of consideration for showcases due to having expected to be deep in treatment, everyone was amazed and totally solicitous. (I also had a gig in that town that weekend that I was not going to miss even if it meant flying or taking the train there). People who’d previously only nodded to me in the corridors came over and sat with me during meals, insisted on carrying my instruments, asked me if I was okay--and one showcase room host made room for me at the last minute in one of her writers’ rounds. As for my circle of close friends, we’ve all been through the health-crisis mill over the past decade or so: lung cancer, COPD, scleroderma, and of course bereavement. At this point, few of them drink anymore, and of those who still do, we got through New Year’s Eve without even finishing one bottle of champagne. I guess being older, with older friends in pretty much the same boat, has its advantages.

I am very lucky to have an amazing support system. (As for family, it’s just my sister, niece and a couple of cousins--and I’ve been out of touch with most of them in the past 5 years--yet somehow the word had gotten out and they called me out of the blue). Even friends of friends have e-mailed to offer moral support if I needed someone to come along with me for doctors’ appointments or to meet for coffee after. I’m sure that there are acquaintances who’ve been scared off, but I haven’t noticed them.

I do feel embarrassed about one thing, though. About half an hour ago, two little girls came by to take orders for Girl Scout cookies. I apologized that I can’t have sugar anymore. A few minutes later, it hit me that one of them was a girl from about three or four houses down who likes to talk over the fence to our housekeeper and when she was little, liked to play with one of our cats (who passed away last year at 19) who liked to escape into the backyard. I told Bob, who replied, “You can’t have sugar. Gordy & I merely shouldn’t. Get her back here and order some chocolate thin mints.” Unfortunately, it’s 0 outside, I’m in my PJs, and I don’t know her last name or phone number--maybe my next-door neighbor does.

Sandy- precious story about the little girl and your cat...they sell for awhile so am thinking this story will have a happy ending for her..you...and, Bob and Gordy...the nice thing is that the Thin Mint cookies freeze well. (Learned this when only niece was selling them and we were helping her make her goal.)

definitely have some amazing support. My mother gets on my nerves, but she is always there for me, as is my mother-in-law and my sisters in law's. My best friend has dropped the ball, but some other friends are definitely there for me. I have a few to drop off food all the time, which is a bit of challenge since I am both vegan and gluten intolerant! So far I haven't really needed much help, but I definitely know who I can call on if I do.

It's not like I really needed anything fro my best friend, it's just hurt me how much she has not been there. Especially ironic because she recently went on a educational trip to Israel, she came back talking about how inspirational and life-changing it was, and all these goals she has about being a better person and all the "sisters" she made. All I can think to myself is "really? This is being a better person? And do your "sisters" even know you've basically ignored your bff who has breast cancer while you are posting on FB every minute about all the fun things youre doing? I wonder what they're think of you then?" People must ask her how I'm doing? Isn't she embarrassed that she barely knows?

Sorry for venting

MLP3- LOVE the "meatheads"...what could be better than that?

I haven't said anything in FB about my dx, but will if I end up with chemo. I'd rather tell people what's going on rather than have them wonder. Other than my best friend flaking (which I think has more to do with her inability to deal with an unpleasant reality than anything about me) mostly everyone in my life has really stepped up and shown me unbelievable support. The other day my husband said "wow, you really have a lot of people who care about you". . He's a bit antisocial and can't believe the outpouring of support coming our way.

Amy

It does suck Amy! (((Hugs)))

I feel like you, I don't think the issue with my friend has to do with me particularly, she just is not good at dealing with difficult things. When my brother was in the psych ward for three months last year, it was one of the hardest things I've ever gone through, honestly as hard as this even, and she also really dropped the ball then. I texted her one day because I was having a crying attack outside the grocery store in my car, even though she lived around the corner and I knew her husband was home so she could've come to me (which is what I was hoping and what I would have done in a heartbeat) she just said she hoped I felt better and was able to go home soon!

I have a question. I had my lumpectomy on dec 30. I still have swelling at the sight of the incision. It's about the size of a baseball is this normal? I have been icing it on and off. The swelling goes down at times throughout out the day. Anyone else experience this? What else can I do?

blamoms you mean sticking out or under the incision?

If you mean sticking out, I think you should have it looked at.

If you mean under the incision, yes I had that. I remember squeezing my breast and having it feel like half of it was a baseball! It was like that when I went to see my surgeon for my postop, at 11 days after lx. I told her I was scared that instead of my lump being removed, half my breast was full of a huge tumor. She assured me that it was fluid and was quite normal, and as long as I did not get hot or exceedingly painful, it would go away on its own. I think it started receding about a week later.

peachy I am so sorry for your loss.

I'm glad your friend was able to teach you something. I try to always keep in mind that there are so many other things besides cancer, I blog a lot about my experience, and try to remember to always mention that I think what I'm going through similar to what a lot of people go through with a lot of different diagnoses!

Definitely had a lot of silver linings. The biggest one is that my husband can no longer bug me to remove my beloved tattoo, because it's on the arm where I had lymph nodes removed! Sucka!

Also, a good friend I had a falling out with in the fall reached out to me when she heard the news, we are good friends again. It's not exactly like it was and probably shouldn't be, we had thefalling out for a reason, but I am very glad to have her (and her family as we were family friends) back in my life

I'm looking forward to not have to deal with my mustache, random chin hairs, and bikini line for a while!

it's under the incision. It's exactly like you described yours. I'm going to call the doctor in the morning and get it checked out just to be on the safe side. I go Tuesday for the results of my lumpectomy. It's not painful or warm just bothersome cause I know it's there

Love all the pets Omg you guys they are all precious! This is mine but...I rarely see her a casualty of the divorce he got her. She's beautiful a Siberian husky and talks....awwww!

614 wow! So glad you know now, it's half the battle...who would have thought cramping inside your chest? I also had to have a heart ablation done a year after rads as I did suffer palpitations but it was horrific after rads. Now I'm great! Well haha as can be

Lovestofly - I lost every hair on my body haha saved money on my Brazilian haha only want hair on my head! You looked fabulous too for date night!

MelClarity, I think that the fact I will be moving to be near one of my sons has been a blessing. Something positive to look forward to. DH had been sick for a number of years and the past year a huge decline. But even knowing that, it was still a shock when he was actually dying. I've got so many years of good memories to keep me happy. So while I am missing him, I'm glad I can finally live near one of the kids AND be in the same time zone as both of them.

HUGS!

Thanks LovesToFly. And truly, not having to use tweezers or razors for a while is awesome. (I am now finding that I forget to shave my underarms. And need to again. Good thing it's winter! )