Lumpectomy Lounge....let's talk!

Jclc83

One of the things on my bucket list was to get to 100 friends on Facebook. Silly, I know. But once I achieved that goal I realized that some of those people never talk to me. I hate carrying dead weight around so I started deleting people ( and added a few) I don't have any really close friends since I moved out of state and I don't need people who never say a word on Facebook (if anyone wants to be my friend on FB pm me) Likewise yesterday I took 14 pairs of jeans to Goodwill I could have opened a store since I had so many sizes lol But if they aren't comfortable, just like my friends, it's time to go!! Both were kind of liberating

SouthernCharm I haven't decided on reconstruction yet not sure if being lopsided is a big deal to me . Besides, I still have rads to go thru

Brutersmom

I didn't think being lopsided was a big deal in the beginning. Since finishing radiation I at least 3 cup sizes different. It is a problem. I can't wear a regular bra. I have tried a pad and it slides out of place all the time. I am ok now because in the cold months I have been wearing loss fitting shirts. Come summer my know tops will all be an issue because they are tighter fitting. I have the name of a plastic surgeon but I have to wait per my al of my Drs. until May. My recommendations are if it is an option at the time of the lumpectomy do it.

Sloan15

We need to do a Rick Steve's Tour. I've done a lot of them, and it would be great to sit back and let someone else be in charge of details so we could just be around people who understand bc feelings. Someone else mentioned a cancer camp for adults.

JerseyRenee01

oh the whole "FRIEND" subject!!!!!

well said Melclarity! I am trying to keep up on this but just jumped on & saw the Friend subject! I am facing that right now! Was a little hurt & disappointed that the ones I expected to at least offer if I needed anything or help hadn't! Instead went out had a good time last night blasting it on FB! I wont dwell on it, will concentrate on me & my health! I know the ones that have been there for me Including those I have gotten close to on here outside of these forums. 😘

I seriously couldn't have done it without the support!

Sloan15

Jclc and others- I'm on Facebook, too, but not much since my bc 6 months ago. I would pm you, but I don't know what info to give you as I don't know how to find people on FB. I did figure out Fitbit, though!

JerseyRenee01

MLP3:

Thanks! I am feeling like a ROCK STAR!!!!

Ohh the Lift was fine!!! My little girls are no longer sagging!!! He did a great job & no pain!!!

marijen

Stolen from the Insomniac forum

marijen

I especially like E - Explains crap!

JerseyRenee01

good one Marijen!!!!! 👌🏼👌🏼

JerseyRenee01

it is Snowing here for the 1st time this winter! I think I will take a walk in the SNOW!!!!!

queenmomcat

SouthernCharm: do you know if you'll need radiation after the surgery?

I ended up waiting for a couple of months after finishing radiation to have my cosmetic intervention--not reconstruction in the sense of build-a-breast, but rather reshaping my affected breast and lift/reduction on my right. In my case, though, I was less than a cup difference between sides.

queenmomcat

SouthernCharm; bringing up revision/reconstruction at the time of your consult with the BS makes perfect sense to me. Maybe the medical and cosmetic surgeries can be done at the same time, maybe not. But at least you can make your concern known, maybe get a better idea of what you'll look like afterward.

Shopgal2

hey southern! I would also ask the bs at your appt. Are they def sure nodes are ok so no rads? I would ask bs about snb.

I had lumpectomy and then reexcision before chemo. Now I am doing rads. Eventually I will have the right breast reduced and the left (cancer) lifted. All this is after a few months of healing and weight loss. I am doing a change in what I eat to have a healthier lifestyle. It is more of a plant based diet. So far have lost close to 10 lbs since chemo ended.

And Peggy I also am a fan of Kondos philosophy. It is doesn't bring you joy then do not hold onto it. Very true espin a lot of areas of life.

HappyHammer

SouthernCharm...see that you too are HER2+ and had chemo and yr of Herceptin planned. No rads? I did chemo, LX and now rads along with the Herceptin through May and Arimidex after rads. Maybe it's due to the size or grade of yours?

Melclarity

Etnasgirl - Isn't it interesting?? 1 of the 4 people I culled was also my Matron of Honor. I realized that after all these years I was putting up with things because of theyears of friendship. Thing is like your bestfriend?? scared or not would have been there and be honest. I had people that were friends but not as close step up in ways she and the others never did. I used to reach out and get nothing, all of a sudden my 2nd bound of BC and all I got is...when youre better from surgery we'll have a wine!!! Really??? what the hell?? oh and I make a mean lasagne, I can help drop off your kids (this is my matron of honor who doesnt even know my kids???) and I never see. I didnt want people around me anymore that truly didnt care at all. I was always on the outer of these friends who were close knit...I got tired of hurting. I have some wonderful people now in my life

Peachy2

Brit, your wig looks great. I didn't have the courage to buzz my hair, so I think you are pretty badass too.

MLP3, LOVE the hat! The classic Pats logo is the best. I have no Pats sportswear, just my red, white and blue Vineyard Vines lucky scarf. This is my son in his lucky jersey:

Melclarity

Jerseyrenee - Look at your, go sister!!! LOL bouncing back! That was the other things of so called friends, never there for you and as you say...splashing their social lives over facebook whilst you're struggling through surgery etc., who needs them!!!

Southerncharm - Sorry can't help, Ive had 2 lumpectomies in 4yrs, my left side is now smaller than the right...but I haven't worried right now as I have to think of mx so not sure. Definitely talk with your BS, as wondering you had chemo before lx? so perhaps the lx won't be as marginal? Hopefully someone here can chime in.

JerseyRenee01

Melclarity:

Exactly!!!! So OVER It!!!!! You my new friend have been my ROCK & so supportive even with our distance!! Thank you, Cancer for bringing the "right" people into my life & showing me who the wrong ones are! Moving forward!!!!!

ChiSandy

Sloan, always wanted to take a Rick Steves tour--but my knees had been too bad to handle all that hill-and-stair-climbing. Now that I've had them replaced, I still want to. But we're stuck traveling only when my husband can get time off (and time off for a specialist MD is more expensive in terms of loss of income for procedures not performed than for costs of travel) and in the case of our upcoming Tuscan trip, when the resort condo is available. And on the cruise & Bar Assn, CLE trips, we're limited to included accommodations and scheduled very tightly on organized tours. So my Rick Steves activity consists mainly of buying the books, reading the general info for the locale, and then retroactively re-reading and saying “D'OH--so THAT's what we should have seen or where we could have dined!" Or in the case of Rome, watching the 3-part classical/baroque/modern program a month after the fact (wish it had aired BEFORE we left for Rome) and then vowing to make reservations next time (we're starting our Tuscan trip in Rome and taking enough time there--may not have time for Florence) for all the museums and restaurants we couldn't visit last month in the 2-1/2 days before the cruise.

SouthernCharm, I didn't have any oncoplastic surgery, because I thought that removing the small tumor from very large breast wouldn't be very noticeable (despite that breast having been nearly a cup size smaller than my other one). Never did I dream that the tumor-cavity seroma + rads would make it a cup size LARGER than the other! And I had no idea that even before rads that the sheer weight of it would make my SNB incision pop open and the seroma beneath it burst. My surgeon had closed it with superglue & steri-strips and my RO, at our pre-sim/CT appt, told me I could remove the steri-strips. Next day, the incision popped and the seroma burst. My surgeon's partner sutured it closed and told me that If I'd been his patient from the beginning, he'd have suggested bringing in a plastic surgeon and having a bilateral reduction immediately after lumpectomy. (I'd made such a big deal of not wanting to cancel the cruise that my own surgeon probably didn't mention it for fear that it'd delay recovery long enough to impact our travel plans). If I get negative results on my next mammograms (a year post-op, unlike most who get their followups at 6 mos.), I will definitely bring up the subject of getting reduced down to no larger than a DDD if not DD. Heaven forfend I ever need a unilateral mastectomy and don't want reconstruction, that's the largest size prosthesis they make.

(I camouflage the size of my bust pretty well because I also have abdominal obesity--due in part to a C-section having prevented my abs from fully “knitting"--the belly balances the boobs. If I can lose that gut, a DDD or DD will look more proportional to the rest of me).

Melclarity

Jerseyrenee - Everything for a reason isn't it? and even through the most challenging times in our lives, there will be some wonderful positive things. As Peggy has said, friendship knows no distance! Cheers, to the right people in our lives! I'm so glad we connected my new friend.

MLP3

Brit- that looks so natural! I would never know that it wasn't your own hair.

Sloan- It's funny, but just prior to my dx, I started improving all areas of my life... Vegan diet, spending more time outside, being a happier person and really not giving two shits about what people think about me. I live in a very small, but wealthy coastal town where it's all about what you drive, your address and the attitude that goes with it all. And yet... Nobody is happy!! And if you are happy, like me, people want to know what's wrong with you or who your sleeping with!

I just found out that one of my closest friends doesn't like me because I don't work. Wtf? And this very same person hasn't even reached out to me at all after hearing my dx. And the rumor in town is that I have stage 4!! How can a "friend" be so cruel? Needless to say, she's cut from my life.

The saying is true that when things like this happen, you know who your true friends are. With surgery a week away, I'm already feeling like a different person and how I look at life. And that includes getting rid of negativity and negative people. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that!

This is my dh and I today XC skiing in NH. This is how I'm living life until surgery... With a smile each and every day😀

Melclarity

MLP3 - Cannot believe your so called friend!! That's awful!!! I love your attitude and thats why you are happy!! I've found too that I make no apologies anymore for letting go of people who no longer bring substance to your life. You are worth more than that!!!

What a gorgeous photo of you both!!! Resonated for me what you said, thats my mission now too...to get out and enjoy life more.

JerseyRenee01

awww MLP3, I cannot believe that! That is right, bye bye to the negativity!! Where in NH? We were there in March. My youngest daughter who is 14 just started skiing & she skiied Canon Mountain in her 1st year! Loved that trip! Brought our 3 dogs too. What a great pic!! Enjoy!!!

JerseyRenee01

Melclarity:

i am very glad we connected too! 😘

PontiacPeggy

I find it so discouraging that so many of you have had "friends" who turned out to be NOT friends. That really hurts. But I do know that the friends you make here are true friends and ones you want to keep in your life forever.

Best to all you. Back to downsizing and decluttering (ugh).

HUGS!

ChiSandy

MLP3, you are beautiful! And I wish we had “useful snow” here so I could go out and XC ski again, now that I’ve had my knees replaced. Being only an hour away from the Cascade mt. passes was one of the best perks of living in Seattle back when I was in law school--I could go XC ski at Alpental or Crystal in the morning and take classes in the afternoon. (And even after moving here, when I was younger and thinner 25 yrs ago--before my knees blew out, during the snowier winters I would go to court, change into my ski clothes afterward, and then hit the lakefront trails in Lincoln Park or Evanston--each plant of my pole tip would be a stake through the heart of the judge who’d ruled against me....just kidding. Then I would reward myself with a kid-size fro-yo or a cappuccino & mini-scone).

You do know that those who are dissing you for not having to work full-time are just jealous, right? Who knows what lurks in the hearts of jerks....and so what???!!!

Peachy2

What a great photo, MLP3! Here's to being happy! Let everyone else be miserable without you. Takes too much energy to join them.

You are hardy to get outside today. We've been watching football and I'm trying to get up the enthusiasm to go to the grocery store. The fire at home is much nicer! (I live in Manchester, NH)

Gemma12

MLP - my relationship with my best friend has turned out to be a total bummer since my dx. I realize now that our whole friendship has been about her and what she needs... When I needed support she disappeared Sucks!

I'm from MA (grew up in Hingham), we come back every summer. I need the beach! Lake Michigan is nice, and big.. but it's not the ocean. My husband is from Hanover, NH. I really miss New England!

queenmomcat

SouthernCharm: For starters, huzzah for chemo shrinking the tumor so substantially! Thank you for the clarification in regards your size (I was a DD+ before surgery); that said, I'd think it an entirely reasonable question for the BS about approximate cosmetic result. (Are you still going to end up with half a breast?)

MLP3

southern- glad the chemo worked so well for you! That's quite a big tumor.

Renee- Jackson NH. Lucky to get up here every weekend to get out of my crazy little town;)

Mel- the more I'm out enjoying life, the easier it is to let go of mean people.

Peggy- sometimes, people suck. That's why I have 3 labs;)

My 3 meatheads below...