please help

Cathi, you are doing great!!  Simple answers and right to the point.  And it is A-OK to cry, this is very draining to do. Hugs, Karen

Cathi - you're doing so well. You are a courageous woman. This is such a hard thing and you must feel exhausted with the stress. Praying for strength for you. Hugs.

 Jane xoxoxox

Still praying for the children.

Thanks for asking about my sinuses. I started taking claritin-D on Sunday and everything started draining properly  and it seems to be clearing up without going to the doctor. I will keep taking some sort of antihistimine through the spring until the pollen stops.

Sheila 

Shelia our pollen was just over the top a month or so ago here,  guess it's headed your way now. Ed suffered bad, and for the first time in several years I did too,  espically when the oak was blooming. But it's pretty well done here now for the season. Feel better.

Thanks Barbe, don't know how they paid the bill,  and honestly don't care either, I did wonder if they had written a check 9which would most likely bounce) but didn't ask, not my concern -  I think I am starting to like this TUFF CATHI - LOL

HAPPY SATURDAY

Hello ladies,

Cathi, I'm sorry to hear all that you have been through lately, with the children, DD and SIl, and with Ed's job.  I feel you are doing the right thing.  I'm very proud of you. 

Sheila,  I'm glad you are feeling better.

Barb, you are the most out spoken but very honest person I know.  lol.  I would like your opinion,  I lost my job 4-7-2011.  It wasn't a surprise though.  I upset one of the nurses by hanging up on her because she was making me angry, and trying to make me angry.  So I hung up before I really said anything.  Well, my boss had rearranged our job duties but I was still over all employees and still the Director of the Center.  After this happened he was angry with me and I went to talk with her the next morning as he text me and said she wanted to to quit.  I got to the center and she was in the OR with another nurse, a patient who was a awake, the doctor, the CRNA and the scrub nurse.  I called back there and they all lied and said she wasn't in there.  I walked to the back unknown to them and I overheard the doctor, my boss, talking with her in the middle of the OR with all of the other people present discussing me.  I opened the door and the look on all of their faces were amazing - so shocked.  He came out of the OR and asked to talk with me and we went to one of the exam rooms and with the door you could hear him up front and in the back.  The nurse involved in this closed more doors to mute what was going on between him and me.  I left and then the following week was very strained.  I had lost my office to her back in January and moved to the administration building "for 2 - 3 months". so I could get caught up without interruptions.  Anyway, things continued to occur, such as him telling me not to have anything to do with the employees but they never changed my job duties.  The nurse continued to change things and do things that she knew weren't right and would make me angry so I just didn't say a word when she called or e-mailed me.  Then I could talk, see, text, or email her unless everything went through the human resources or another lady over his other busniness.  Now keep in mind they have thanked me over and over for opening the center and getting them where we are now.  Well, i thought things were getting a little better. I had a breakdown and couldn't do anything but cry and I asked to take my vacation as I have not had one since 2009.  Neither of the owners liked the idea as I have two and a half weeks worth.  They said ok but I couldn't because of everything that needed to be done.  Well our facility license was due 3-31-2011.  They received our check for the renewal back in February, around the 4 or 5.  I had not heard anything from the regulations and I thought all was well.  Well, I was at lunch with the lady from the other business office, which I never take a lunch, and she gets a call from the doctor to say the regulatory people called him directly to tell him I had not responded to her fax from 2-24-2011 and we were going to expire that night at midnight.  Well, I had a follow-up reminder on my computer to check on the facility license so I was going to check on it as soon as I got back from lunch.  Well needless to say I told the lady to take me back immediately and I didn't even eat.  When I got there I called the department and asked her to fax over the letter she sent via fax and down at the bottom of her letter she sent me it said EC which stood for error correct.  She did not have anything saying it actually went through.  Now remember two things:  1.  the fax machine was at the surgery center and they don't remember it and 2.  the lady didn't have the doctor's name but only had my name and another doctor's name.  So how did she ask for him directly?  Well, the truth was she asked for me but I was out so the receptionist got the nurse that has been doing the above stuff and more, then she got the doctor out of surgery.  i had all of this corrected and fixed within 1 hour but the lady that took me to lunch had informed the doctor  that it could not be fixed that afternoon and she was told we would not be able to conduct business and we would be surveyed.  Not true.  I called her the next morning and the department lady said she thought she had fixed everything like she told me and I said something wasn't right in the computer and she fixed immediately while I was on the phone and I printed it off.  She was in the middle of telling him it expired and we couldn't do business and all of the patients would have to be cancelled for the day and then I handed him the corrected form.  Huge slap in the face.  Well last Wed. the doctor said he didn't want me to take care of the employees just work closely with him so we could run the business.  I asked him if he was going to fire me and he smiled and said no but it did scare him.  You see he was part of a business years ago and it was lost but we won't go into that.  We had our Wed. night Managers Meeting and all was well.  Thursday I wrote out the bills and he said to bring them over and then he showed up in my office and the next thing I  know, I was called into another office and fired over the license thing that never expired because it brought up old feelings and he lost confidence in me because it was too close.  His termination letter said that if he did not receive the courtesy call then we would have expired.  Yes he knew I had the reminder and was planning on checking on it after lunch.  They thanked me for everything and getting them where they are now.  He further stated as well as the other doctor owner that they would have never made it without me.  I helped them to start this business and they were very proud of it.  They offered me a serverance pay and asked me to sign a form stating I would never talk about this or let anyone know what happened and I would not discuss their business.  My family believe I have a case to take them to court for punitive damages and the fact that I have to start over and they have a multimillion dollar business that wouldn't be where it is without me.  They will give me two more paychecks and that's it and they will continue with the business.

I would like you guys to let me know what you think, tuck my tail, take the serverance pay and go on or take them to court and let them know they can't keep treating people like this.  Now rememberhuiman resources and the other lady have already talked with my staff without me knowing and told them they were not to talk to me ever and they were to anser to the other nurse and or she, the other nurse, already had a back person to her when she is out.  There were some other things going on here to behind my back.  Just le me know.

Thanks,

me 

Dink, I don't know what to say but to give you hugs. Sometimes we do want to lash out when we know that we have been hurt by others. If you did take them to court, what would that accomplish? Would you want your job back? Would you want to continue to work in such a toxic work place?

I just found out that the North Carolina Unemployment rates have dropped enough to take away the federal unemployment benefit extensions that have been given out for the past 3 years. Unfortunately, I will be finishing up the initial 26 weeks of unemployment in 2 weeks and will be completely out of benefits at that time. Mind you, others have been able to draw unemployment benefits for up to 2 years. What the drop in the unemployment rates don't fully reflect is the number of people who have used up all the benefits including the federal extensions.

I went to a job fair last week and will be putting in an application with a local temp agency for a 3-4 month temp job that is 2nd shift doing billing for a company. The job does have a chance to become permanent.

Sheila 

Dink, you might be able to ask for more severance. How long were you there? A week for every year? If that's not enough, then just tell them that you might find it difficult to find a job now as you are older and perhaps they could come up with a months pay for every year you worked. They'll just be happy to know you aren't suing!!

Ah Leeze sorry about all that crap with the job,  But our Barbe hits the nail on the head many times, it's so hard to let go of things sometimes-  Thinking of you though,  XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Barbe how are those baby boys of yours????? Growing like weeds I expect.

Ahhhhhhh Barbe. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

I am sitting here trying not to type the weekend events,, you all must just be getting so sick of my SOAP-OPERA life. But you all and some close friends here  (and Ed) are all I have to relieve my sadness, frustration and worry.  But if or when you all wanna say enough is enough I completely understand after all this is a BC site.

Saturday night I got on FB about 8PM Ed was watching something with Nascar,  I saw pictures on Amanda's wall of her & Bill in their car and on the beach,  to myself & Then to Ed I said they look drunk and or high in those pictures, and in the car one you could see behind Bill (who was driving NO CAR SEAT NO LANDEN OR ELLA) But all it was was my GUESSING at something. Sunday AM I see posted on his page the same pictures and comments about having a great time out at Cusos Beach bar all night until his wife and another girl started playing SHOW me your boobies (hey is wall isn't private you all can check it out WILLIAM MELLOTT) ,  so then I am starting to think,  out at a bar,  drinking , where the heck where the kids -  other than us an Jaclyn they are to be left with NO ONE without a background check. After a couple hours Amanda called ,  she says I don't think Ella feels well,  I do not say anything about anything I have seen or read on FB,  she continues to say yeah she didn't sleep well last night the neighbor girl (who is 16) watched them while we went to the beach (never mentioned the bar -she doesn't know I can see SIL page),  I let her talk a little more then just said  - HEY did you say you left the kids with a neighbor, has she been background checked?  NO MOM- we have a right to go out,  and I am not gonna have people background checked, it's not like anyone is gonna show up and check us out on the weekend anyway -  I said ok if your willing to take that risk, so be it.

So for the last 2 weeknds dad has been drunk and mom this past Saturday,  and now they are leaving the kids with God only knows who. They both posted tons of pics Sunday - showing what a HAPPY FAMILY they are. I have left a call for the new case worker ,  no call back yet.

This AM Jaclyn goes up to Landen & Ella's school,  Brandt starts there next Monday as it's closer to her house.  And she gets an ear full.  Landen is acting out,  hitting  A LOT,  they are both exhausted all the time. Ellas teacher said she is not HAPPY at all anymore and she was sent to school again this AM with the sneaker with hardly a sole left on them,  the right one actually flaps up an down at the toe.  The brought lunch boxes out to show Jaclyn that lunches/snacks are getting smaller & Landen is coming to school quite dirty most of the time - they are going to mention these things to dad today when he picks them up and if they do not improve within a week, or worse happens they are REQUIRED & WILL CALL case worker & DCF.

Ed says we are headed for a TRAIN WRECK.  We sure are.

Barbe you are so right,  I don't know what DCF is waiting on,  I know with a new case worker starting this week and the cuts the state just went through last week, everything is crazy ,   and yet Children not only Landen & Ella are the ones in danger and suffering.  It is a VERY SAD reality for me,  but my daughter is no longer ,  I do not know where my daughter went,  the person living with my grandchildren is not her.  Some friends here seem to believe they really want the children to be removed.  Ed has said an I agree,  when that happens- we are done with them until if/or when they really change.  There will be no visits with the children here, we will seek support through the courts - not just let them slide pretty much NO communication until there is a major turn around. He is right and I am to that point.  Jaclyn lives about 5 miles from us and she thinks that maybe when things happen we should consider her taking either Landen & Ella full time,  while they won't sleep under the same roof, they will see each other daily at school and we will of coarse always be doing our family get togethers,  I mean she said she would take both,  but she already has two.

Oh Leeza,  I am not good at all that stuff, no recommendations on what to do.  I will just pray for the best possible outcome for you- XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Unless the rules have changed recently, she who resigns does not qualify for unemployment.  Be very, very careful of making things waaaay too easy for your former employer.

Cathi, was away for a few days and just saw your post.  When my daughter and I were estranged, I would drive from Va. where I was living to Buffalo to see her and the children.  Like you I never knew what to expect, and inevitably would be bad or worse, I would cry all the way home.  So I totally respect you coming to the boards to stay sane, I would lean on a few good friends and they never tired of me and my sometimes embarassing stories. So vent away.  Before she had her wakeup call and started to drastically change her life, which Amanda has to do too, I had threatened to take her to court for custody.  As you said I did not know where my true daughter was and thought she was gone from me forever, and I did not like or respect who she was then.  Take heart, your daughter may again emerge, but for now it seems like you and Ed have a great tough love plan in place and you and the school system are on guard for Ella and Landen and your daughter, Jaclyn is a strong support for you and the children.  It is bad enough that our children become involved with drugs, but when there are children involved it is a true heartache for them. hugs, Karen

Nettie that is just SO sad!!!!

Cathi, I notice that Amanda says "single" on Facebook. Has she become a beach blanket bunny??

Huh, I just looked again at Amanada's profile and don't see where I saw "single"......