Chemo Starting Sep 09
Comments
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Hope everyone is doing well on this grand Friday morn. My bed threw me out about 4ish, which totally sucks sweaty toes, but..... got my coffee (with ice since my dang mouth looks like a nuke went off in it) and CNN on, so it can't be all bad.
Last night, DH and I went to the big city after work to buy me a dress for me to wear for my youngest's hs graduation tonight. Dress, head scarf, shoes..... dread. 1. I hate shopping and leave it to the more feminine of my species (or DH, he can shop for hours happily. I hold his purse j/k j/k). 2. I was terrified I'd never find a dress/scarf/shoe ensemble that matched.
Sooooo, here I am, steel toe boots, dirty from work, slopping through Sears looking for something, anything. DH is doing the pee pee dance and quickly makes his exit to the little boys room. The voices in my head arguing whether I should start with the scarf and build down or start with shoes and build up.........when I saw it. Purple dress (brings out the green in my eyes and chemo glow in my skin). Beautiful embroidery on the front. Awesome! Scored the dress in less than 3 minutes. But, the voices say, "you'll never find a scarf to match and you have nothing at home to wear on your wee bald noggin! Neener neener". Shut up, I tell them.......Mama's on a quest.
So, I head to the handbag area, or Hell, as I lovingly like to call it. SNNAP!!! A shawl is just hanging there, calling to me, matches the embroidery on the perfect purple dress magnificently. Bang bing bong, dress, scarf ........under 10 minutes. DH is not even back from the potty yet! Doing great. This shopping thing is a breeze. "I hate you guys, you negative nancy's" I tell the voices. "Yea, but you haven't found shoes yet Bucko" they scream back, then start whispering amongst themselves about how lame I am, and how my butt is big. They are so mean.
So onto shoes. Now, as with most women, I adore shoes and could get lost in the shoe section of any department store for hours and hours. My head spins, my mouth waters, I have palpitations. It's disgusting..... Cell phone chimes, txt msg! It's DH asking if I'm still in Sears. I'm like "cha....where'd you think I'd go???? out into the mall??? you must be crazy! Shoe section, pronto". So here he comes. He's like talking and crap on his way over to me about the folly of buying shoes before I picked out a dress and how I don't know how to shop, and how I was born without the "girl" gene that tells me proper attire purchasing etiquette, shaking his head and giving me that "angry daddy" look.
I hold up the dress and scarf.
He's all "I was only in the bathroom for a few minutes! How can you do that?"
I'm like "I'm just that damn good".
and the perfect shoes where right there in front of me on the top shelf. ......... ding dang done!!!!
20 minutes.
then we spent the next hour looking for a shirt for him....
Hope you all have a grand Memorial Day weekend. Take care of the new hairs, the concussions, the various aches and owies and remember to always have a lil fun every day!
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Have fun at your child's graduation! I am sure you will look beautiful. The dress was just what was meant to be.
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Pamelajo - thanks for the shopping story. It brightened my morning! I'm sure you'll be the belle of the ball...or graduation...tonight.
Happy and thankful holiday weekend to everyone.
Patty
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Pamelajo - you will definitely be the highlight of my day with your shopping story. I also lack the spend hours shopping gene and so does DH. Have a wonderful time at the graduation, can't wait to here details!
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Doncha just love it when things "come together" the way they should? So glad the shopping trip was not painful Paemelajo. After another CT, am told all is fine.. Just will take 3-4 weeks for lump on back of head to go away. 3-4 weeks? that is nothing! lol happy weekend!!
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Hallelujah Gin! Now, quit bangin your head!
Jane, you know I love makin your day
Patty, China..... I look stunning! LMAO or, maybe like I've been stunned. Not sure.
off I go, to commencement, head first and at a high rate of fuel consumption, into the realization I am finally OLD!!! shite. <grump> <huff>
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Hey Ladies!!
I got in for my mammo today, and they said well gosh you are overdue for the right, lets just throw that in to, and maybe an ultra sound...ugh. I put on my smile, started praying, and what do ya know...I got the all clear. I started to cry a little in the changing room (Just like you Ronnie Kay we were crying together today, well maybe not with the time change, but you know what I mean.) so I see my onc Tuesday, and my next mammo is in 6 months, for the bc breast and a year for both of them. Thank you to all my sisters for the thoughts and prayers, I love you all and your support is invaluable.
Pamela, your shopping story was the best. Lordy girl you have a way with words, you should have been a writer. Maybe some day you should write your memoirs! I love your head and your new pic. So speaking of mouth sores are they giving you ice chips or a Popsicle to suck on before, during and after the Adriamycin part of the infusion? It helps a lot. Have a great time at the graduation, love and hugs to you..
Jane, sorry about the aches, I get them too, especially now that I am trying to get back into my 3.5 mile walk every day. Haven't quite got it to every day, but I am trying. It sucks the "damage" the drugs leave behind. Can you take anything for hot flashes? I have them several times a day, and they even bother my sleep, but no night sweats, I thought about asking the doc for something to curtail them, but I am afraid of the se's from some of the drugs. I hope you have a great weekend.Gentle hugs to you.
RonnieKay. We are so glad you are stopping regularly..you and I were mammo sisters. I am glad yours was fine, yes we need to be vigilant, but I don't want to be panic stricken either. love to you.
Ginnie- Glad your head is fine. Sorry about the bump. Will ice help? Bag of frozen peas? I am sure your counts will handle the Taxol next week. Hugs to you.
Patty- Thanks for thinking of me. So glad I have it done. I think it was weighing on my mind more than I was ready to admit. Are you having hot flashes? Hugs to you and your cute hair.
Catherine, I think you went on effexor f(sp?)or hot flashes, does it help? I am scared of the ses, that might come with it, i heard weight gain, mood swings etc.. anything like that for you? Hope you are well, hugs.
Well love and hugs to all my sisters.
Happy Memorial Day.
Barbara
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Good Friday Evening!
PAMELAJO: I know you are stunning tonight...thinking of you walking the red carpet! It's the best feeling to know you look put together...I think I remember how it feels....it's been a while
CONGRATULATIONS to your youngun & mom and dad in reaching this milestone! Can't wait to hear all about it!That's it..BARBANNE: Walking starts tomorrow...you've got me excited! SOOOOO glad for good test results!! Such a relief
Going to tie up daffodil leaves while it's still daylight...found a sweet bird's nest with 5 little blue robin's eggs in a rose bush today..made me smile...and the mama squak! Love to all and happy memories of all those we honor this weekend!
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Happy Memorial Day Weekend - hope everyone is feeling good and has big plans.
Pamelajo - can't wait to hear details of the graduation. Read your post about shopping to DH, he enjoyed hearing about your adventures as much as I did. You really should be publishing or doing stand up comedy!
BarbAnne41 - YEAH on your great news! I can so appreciate your having a small cry with your good news, I would do the same. I don't have a mammo until July. Did get the results on my Vitamin D and cholestrol - Vit. D was low, am now taking 2000 units instead of 1000. Cholestrol was 1 point above where it should have been. If I'd lose 10 pounds I'd be okay. I did actually get on the treadmill the other night - dust flew all over
. Funny thing is once I start I really do enjoy walking. Good for you - you are an inspiration for the rest of us. My onc said I could take an anti-depressant for hot flashes. I just don't want to take anymore pills and I don't want anymore side effects. I am now doing Advil every 4-6 hours and it is helping somewhat.RonnieKay - I'm so glad you are posting again. I always enjoy reading your posts. I live in Fayetteville, NC home of Ft. Bragg. You can only imagine the events we have going on this weekend to honor our men and women in the Armed Forces. It gives you a true appreciation of the sacrifices they make for us to enjoy our freedom.
Everyone take care. Thoughts and prayers are with you.
Jane
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Graduation was awesome. No one really stared at me..... but my step dads ex wife commented something about me looking like a "flapper". Her mouth sounds like a flapper....thats for sure.
Macie is now an adult. Wow, I have no more children in high school, middle school or grade school. Just COLLEGE. can we say expensive!
Anyhoo, funny note: You know I can't stand my ex husbands new wife. She's been so cruel to my kids. Well, I had Mace go over and ask her Dad to come have a picture taken with us. I didn't hear "how" she asked him, but his big manly wife started to follow him over to the photo area, then she saw me stand up, so she turned around like she wasn't actually meaning to come over there. Stood with her arms crossed as Matt, Macie and I had our picture taken. I'm posting it to my facebook with the caption "the creators" under it LOL and tagging him. She'll spontaneously combust. It'll be cool.
Yea, my horns hold my halo up.
Today is a sad day, or maybe not sad, but bittersweet. Today is the 5th yr anniversary of our sons murder. We don't do much on this day. We don't talk much. I'm making some dinner for us and I think I'll build a fire in the patio pit, have a few brewski's and just chill later. I miss my boy....but I know he's in a wonderful place and I'll see him soon. I don't know why things happen, and I know it isn't my place to ask why. Our children are on loan to us from God. We don't have the option to keep them here when he cashes in.
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(((((((((Pamelajo)))))))))) My father was killed when I was 19. I cannot imagine the pain at losing a child, especially in that sudden, horrendous way. I absolutely know there is nothing that anyone can say, but know you are in my heart and my prayers.....
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Ah Pamelajo...you've got the sweet and the bitter all mixed together this weekend. I'm glad the graduation was awesome. Your ex's new wife was (remains) an ass. I'm sending up a prayer for your son.
Barbara...hooray for a clean mammo. I don't blame you for the little cry, it must have been relief. I have my first (since DX) bilateral mammo in a couple weeks. My single one (bad side) in December was fine, so I'm determined not to worry about it.
Ronnie...relief for you too! I loved your nest in the roses story. The birds at my house have been making a continual fuss...mating/egg season? The only time they clam up is when the crows fly in. So it's been one racket or the other.
Ginnie...take care of your head. I'm glad it was nothing but a bump!
Jane...I think you are wise to resist further meds. They all seem to come with upsides and downsides. 'Course if you can't take it anymore there would be no shame in trying something. Unlike the Femara, you can always quit the other drugs.
Oh and Pamelajo... you are definitely NOT officially old. I am officially old. B-day today!
Patty
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY PATTY! Doing the happy dance for you!! Doing something wonderful to celebrate???
PAMELAJO: I remember the Christmas card fiasco with the wicked step-mother!!! Good for you for for "standing up!" (nice that's all you had to do, teehee!) Love, love, love that it was a great evening for your Macie! Blessings to you for living through the heartache of losing your son (and oh, such a horrific way, I'm so sorry)..but you've come through it and continue to lift the spirits all around you...you really are an amazing woman...unless of course, you're an angel put here to keep us all from falling apart!
BARBANNE: 2 days of walking..we're at our home in the eastern wash countryside so can walk until the cows come home
I DO think I feel better....whatayathink JANE...is it working for you? We gave our treadmill to our son-in-law since I joined LA Fitness (who knew it would mostly be my new charity!). -
Happy Birthday Patty, and many many many many many many many many more
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JANE: I was so excited to hear your cholesterol was ok! I've always had extremely good cholesterol readings..around 200...which would normally be high but my good is so high and my bad so low that docs were always very pleased with it. I have my blood tests the end of June and I'm freaked out since my blood pressure (which is normally sooo low) has been all over the place. Last appt was 134/84...holy crap! (normally around 110/68). Onc said it's no big deal but I'm afraid of what the choles will say. I definitely don't want to take more pills...they say it's the femara. Will you tell me how your bp has been? They take the readings at every herceptin, which I'm sure they do for everyone....just hate seeing those numbers! Thanks
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Happy Birthday Patty----Big sloppy birthday hugs to you Girl!!!! May this year be fabulous. Birds around our house may a ruckus until the hawks show up, then all is quiet, I guess hawks and crows are the bully's in bird world.
RonieKay! I love cows, especially panda cows with the black and white faces. We went out of town to watch a dog and hot air balloon show, so all I did was walk around in the blazing sun, thats the thing with Michigan it can never make up its mind, suppose to in the 60's by mid week. So 90's then 60's, yea that's fun. So I am walking with you!
By the way the dog show was one of those ones where they leap for Frisbees and into water, fun stuff.. I seemy onc tomorrow and I wonder about my bp too, I mean right before I get a hot flash and sometimes during it my heart sort of races, from what I read thats normal, but I wonder if it will mess with my historically low bp, I will let you know what my onc says tomorrow. I also have a blood draw so I am curious what all this chemo.tamox has done to my 42 year-old hormone production...Pamela-Yea for a lovely graduation, and good for the little digs you get in. I am so very sorry for the pain you and your hubs must feel, the loss of a child is a pain I can't even imagine, nor do I ever want to experience it, You all are in my prayers today.. Love and hugs to you..
Jane--I hear you on the pill front, but gosh I would love one that helped me lose weight, cut back on the hot flashes/racing heart, and made me feel that happy relaxed feeling right after a nice ice cold glass of white wine...can I get one of those? I want to feel thin and relaxed all freakin day!!! Sorry I got myself all excited. I know what you mean about cholesterol, mine was 4 point over perfect, and my doc said, you need to eat more oats, fiber, and exercise more, this from the man who looks like he could easily drop 20 pounds and never feel it. Of course he is right, but that test I took last year, I almost am afraid to see if after chemo sedentary-ness...but i will manage..
Love and hugs to all my sisters, one who are posting and ones who aren't...
Barbara
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Happy Birthday Patty!
Pamelajo I am glad the graduation was a success. I understand the pain you must be going through with your son.
My stepson gave us quite a scare last weekend. He lives up in New Hampshire with wife and 3 children. He was rushed by ambulance to the hospital last Sunday. They thought he was having a stroke. He was numb on his left side. After running every test imaginable they did determine it was not a stroke. Do not have a clue as to what is wrong. He is now at home and doing better. Just very frigtening that they could not figure out what is wrong.
Right next to where I work there is a beautiful park. I have been doing a half hour work on weekdays. Part of it is heavily wooded so you do get some shade. This is Florida though and it can get pretty hot. Have been warned that there is a real big alligator that likes to sun itself. So far we have not run into each other. Have been doing pretty good losing weight. Still have about 35 pounds to go. Do pretty good all week and then comes the weekend.
Go back for my second fill on June 10th. The PS said that they were going to do a reduction on my left breast. Does anyone know if they will do that when I have my exchange or at a later time? I forgot to ask him that last time I was there.
Well, got to go husband is hungry. Have a wonderful week!
Love,
Barb t
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hello darling women
So much to catch up on after several days away!
Pamela amazing new pic. But.... Iwant to see you in your purple dress & scarf! Purple is my absolute favourite colour. Am glad oyu had a good time at graduation. these milestones are precious aren't they? I cannot believe the amount of pain you have gone through in your life. I am sending you a virtual air delivery of red jello.
BarbAnne my back aches and stiffness are due to degenerative disk disease, added to by the injuries I sustained last year in the car accident. I go to see another Dr tomorrow to see if there is anything I can do - other than regular exercise and strengthening, whcih I already do.
RonnieKay - I too have 'bad thoughts' nowdays! Sometimes I feel very 'over' people and very low tolerance for rudeness, bad behavious or carelessness. As i freind of mine with bc said to me some time ago "Never push a woman with breast cancer". SO glad your lump turned out to be nothing, and good for you for getting it checked out.
Patty happy birthday! Hope it was a special one indeed.
Jane I hope your Femara experience improves - i had no idea the se's could be so nasty. Hot flushes are no fun but so far they are the only se's I have had from Tamoxifen - unless the headaches count which I don't think they do, as I had them before bc.
I just had the nicest weekend - an overnight stay in Sydney with three 'undergraduate buddies' - we all went to college togather from 1980 - 1982 and still see each other for a weekend away every year (with exception of 2009). It is lovely - they are amongst my oldest friends and though are lives have changed enormously since those years we can still pretend to be 19 years old again when we are together!
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Good Morning
Back at work after 4 days at the beach. It was just great down there. Go to the ps tomorrow to sign forms for surgery next Thrus. I can't wait to get this TE out and be done with surgries.
Ronnie- Glad to hear from you. I never watched Housewives of NJ. I will keep and eye out and see if I can see a few episodes.
Pameljo- Congrats on your daughters graduation. The shopping gods were on your side. Sounds like it all came together perfectly. I love your words that our children are on loan to us from God. This is so true. Saying a pray for you and your family.
BarbAnne- I am so happy for your all clear. The effexor has help with the flashes and flushing. I started at 37.5 mg a day but increased to 75mg and it made a difference. I have no side effects from this at all. The tamoxifen has cause alitte weight gain but I just have to try to work out more. Effexor is a anti-depressant but works for the flashing and flushing.
Patty-HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Neece- Your weekend sounds just wonderful. Nothing like spending time with friends.
Hope eveyone has a peaceful week.
THINK POSITIVE
Catherine
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Hi all--
Thanks Catherine. I may try the Effexor, but as of today's appointment my onc said what I have is normal, so to just keep going...thanks I said , that's awfully helpful.Glad you had such a nice time at the beach.
By the way I also mentioned that they need to get to work on a pill that makes people feel happy, like after a glass of wine, and he said if I had that pill I would be super busy, ha.
I am not sure if the couple of pounds have been caused because I have let myself indulge in some stuff, or the Tamoxifen, but I really have to get on a program, it is just ridiculous.
My blood pressure was completely normal and low, and all my counts are good. So I don't go back until September. I have a doctorless summer.
Love and hugs
Barbara
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Oh and Neece, I am sorry about your stiffness. My onc said it comes from, at least for me anyway, a combination of Tamoxifen, and he said that chemo throws our immune system out of whack for 12 months after and that is why I get so achy. I guess the aches from Nuelasta, which boosts our immunity during chemo, are sort of the same, so I guess it makes sense, Any-who he said it will gradually fade after 12 months out. So we'll see!
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Just had a peaceful weekend by Lewiston Lake. We took our trailer and it overlooked the quiet lake (no boats over 10 mph). We watched the birds --- incredible variety---- including a family of geese with 2 young goslings that visited us daily. Saw an eagle dive and catch a fish. We had a beaver that swam right by each night from it's home to some willow reeds each evening. No electricity - no running water - no tv. it was great.
Glad to catch up on everyone today. Happy Belated Birthday Patty! And glad to hear Pamela's on-going, ever-entertaining adventures. And Neece - what a great time with old friends. Glad so many came through mammo's so well.
I've been having a bit of pain in my breast (the one that's left!) and this weekend discovered quite a lump and other symptoms (dimpling) which doesn't look good. So I called today for a mammo and will be having mine on Friday. DH and I are sad and already talking about what options we might have as I was already told by my onc that I would not be able to have more chemo.
Anyway. I've been going through the "If you only have a year left --- what would you do?" questions. I'm sad but not scared. Of course, I keep telling myself and my DH that it might not be cancer... but the other signs in addition to the lump are not very reassuring.
So I hope to be writing next week saying "It was only a...." !!!
Thinking of you all!
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vickilynn - so sorry you are facing this again. lots of prayers and good thoughts coming your way....please let us know as soon as you find out something! and know we are all here for you whatever happens...
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Vickilynn- I'm so sorry to hear about your worrying lump. Having had cystic lumps since I was a teenager, I have been often told that painful lumps that appear out of nowhere are usually B9. It might be just a big fluid-filled cyst, which can be very tender. I've had one so big that not only did my skin look funny, you could see the lump through my bra and shirt! But...B9! So try not to worry too much this week. (Easier said than done, I know!)
Thanks for all the birthday wishes, ladies. I like your doc's theory on the aches, Barbara. I will now attribute mine to chemo/femara...and not to my ever advancing age! Sounds like everyone had a busy weekends communing with hawks...eagles...geese...beavers...crocodiles... and old friends.
Patty
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most cancers are not painful. None of mine have been. Chin up Miss Vicky!!! Love you, praying for you, knowing you are going to be ok. There are always options!
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Vickilynn- I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
THINK POSITIVE
Catherine
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Sending a summer wind of positive energy Vicky. Hang in there.
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Thanks all!
Regarding pain and cancer - I had heard that statement last time and people have told me that since: that if there is pain, it isn't likely cancer. In fact, I put off going to the doctor for 2 months because everything I'd read online about breast cancer said if there's pain, it's likely not cancer.
But my cancer last year did have pain, so that's one of those myths I guess. Probably depends on the kind of cancer and the size? Don't know. But it's not something we want to continue telling people.
Sore lymph nodes, dimpling around the nipple ---- looks and feels the same as last year. But I'm hoping it's NOT...
I had a hard time believing it, but it was June 10 last year when I had the mammogram. What a year! We'll have to have a doozy of a celebration for our 1 year anniversary - August 25 was when we started this thread... I'm a tea- drinker myself (can't handle the liquor - and I don't like being "out of control") but I wouldn't mind raising a virtual glass of wine to celebrate. I did see some women drinking pina colada's last week at Red Lobster and wow! those looked yummy! (Back in the early years I really liked my strawberry dacquiris.)
However, my blueberry muffins (jumbo size with struesel topping) are much better with a good cup of coffee (we buy ours from muddy waters coffee co in Eureka, CA. The BEST I've had.
Rambling... sorry!
Love you all and I appreciate the encouragement and prayers.
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Vickilynn- My love and prayers go out to you. I got the news I had breast cancer last year on June 8th, my wedding anniversary, so I have an anniversary with you, sort of. Please keep us posted, I will keep you at the top of my prayer list.
Patty- I like his theory too, I get that I am getting older but I think it is really important to remember what we just went through and that the effects take time to get over, Hope your B-day was fan-tab-ulous...
VickiLynn-we should have a virtual party on August 25th, a September Sisters Birthday of sorts! I will take a virtual glass of wine and an icy cold real one too
..You ramble all you want!Love and hugs to all my sisters-
Barbara
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Vicky,
Thoughts and prayers are with you.
I was diagnosed last year on August 12th - my dad's 87th birthday. Just found out today that he will be going to an assisted living center shortly. He is up in Chicago and I am in Florida. Feel terrible that this last year I have not had the time to spend with him because of BC. He has had Parkinson's for about 17 years now.
I am all for the "virtual celebration". We all certainly deserve it.
Barb T
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