STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

Maire67

I love your pin. Makes so much sense. I admire your “solve it” attitude. Take care. Maire

molliefish

it's kind of sad and funny at the same time that only one person publicly noticed that I was leaving BCO. Candy, I left because I really was affected by the journey that Patty took to her ultimate end. I've seen so many members of BCO pass this past three years that I thought perhaps it was time to create some distance between me and breast cancer. I'm still not out of the woods but am choosing to move away from thinking about cancer every day. This board and the ladies here have provided me with the strength to do just that. I came back today because I lost another friend last night to triple negative BC. Cancer is such a bitch! I'm off again ladies, and will check back now and then. Lita I love you, you are my heroine!

WC3

Parrynd1:

Sorry to hear about your dog. I had a dog and cat, both of whome I had to euthanize due to cancer. Ironically my dog had breast cancer. She had a kind that rare metastasized but I think hers did. My family had financial difficulties at the time but miraculously were were able to cone up with money for the surgery. Unforunately the tumor started growing back instantly and quickly and we were unable to come up with the money for a second surgery while the tumor was still operable. I believe her cancet was hormone driven as she was not spayed before her first heat and had discharge ftom that teet during her first heat.

My cat actually had a rare virally induced skin cancer due to being immunocompromised due to feline aids. He survived that and ended up developing inoperable oral squamous cell carinoma. The only treatment for that is radiation but he was 17, the cancer became advance quickly, and his vets and I felt thar the benefit to cost of quality of life did not work out in his favor. We were going to do a clinical trial with a compound I found that showed promise in rats, but his condition deteriorated too quickly and I had to euthanize him so he wouldn't starve to death.

After having to euthanize some of my previous pets, and realizing the traumatic aspect of it to them waa going to the vet, and the traumatic aspect of it to me was my human notions of understanding of death and their stress over going to the vet stressing me, I put things in perspective and was able to make better decisions for my cat than I had for my previous pets.

I realized that my cat likely had no concept of death in the way humans do. We understand that death is the end of our existence...at least in our current form. My cat probably had no such notions. All my cat knew was that he didn't feel well, and he was waiting to feel better, only I knew that was not going to happen. His tumor was ulcerative and like a wound healing in reverse. When it got to the point where he could no longer eat and I couldn't make him comfortable, even with steroids, appetite stimulants and narcotic pain killer injections, I decided to have him euthanized at home.

I have no regrets over this. The vet who came to administer the euthanasia was a very kind lady who he did not find frightening. He was laying in my bedroom next to his water with his back to us and after petting him and talking to him him kindly, she administered a dose of a strong sedative. After a minute or two he became drowsy, put his head down, and closed his eyes, but was still responsive to touch. We let him stay that way for a few minutes so he could have the pleasure of rest and relief from his discomfort, and then she administered another dose which was essentially an overdose that rendered him unconscious and slowed his heart rate to almost nothingi She then pur a catheter in his leg and injected the drug that stopped his heart completely.

He remained completely relaxed through the entire process and did not show any signs of stress and it was honestly the only time I didn't feel horrible about a pet's death outside of the loss itself.

Home euthanasia is more expensive than taking them to the vet to euthanze them but well worth the extra money many times over in my opinion.

Meow13

My poor old german shepherd was struggling to breathe from cancer tumors my Dad had him put to sleep.

Cancer is horrible, I pray to God I don't suffer at the end. I wasn't with my SIL at the end but she was pretty doped up. She was unable to eat but kidneys were somewhat functioning.

Artista964

I won't suffer like that. When I'm done with the side effects of txs if i go stage 4, I'll expedite my impending death. Qol all the way.

Parrynd1

MC3

Thanks. I think I’m relating my diagnosis to his, but you are right. Pets are great because they can be so smart and loving and simple in the way that they just know they don’t feel good and are waiting to. He will be my first pet I may need to put down. He has mouth cancer, Ameloblastoma. Rarely malignant and in his case he is. I didn’t even know a home euthanasia was an option. He hates the vet after a prior surgery when he was young to remove a staple he had eaten. He recovered great from that. Seeing how he recovered from a simple biopsy is worrisome even if we could afford surgery and treatment. I haven’t found any clinical trials available to him, but I’ll keep looking...haven’t thrown in the towel yet!

Meow13

I agree. Cancer is not only terrible but also an epidemic I see even more now, and have the same fears. I hope the end is either quick or comfortable no matter what the cause.

I met a lady whose dad passed away and had brain cancer. He ended up dying 3 years after diagnosis, but from something completely different. Goes to show you never know what will happen. Same for those who have been told they have x amount of years and live much longer. My cancer terrifies me, makes me sad, angry and generally feeling like I got the shit end of the stick. I can choose to not let it run or ruin whatever time me or my family (dogs included) have here. There is always that fear. I guess living a semi normal and happy a life I can is my big F U to cancer. I wish it could be bigger, lol. Someday it will be I hope. Do yu think I can flip the bird from heaven on that day?

runor

Molliefish, I think more people than you expect noticed your leaving. I understand your reasoning and sometimes I debate if continued presence here supports me or keeps reminding me of something I'd be better off forgetting.

In the beginning, I was here a lot. As time goes by longer period go where I don't check in. Yet, at the end of the day, if I think I can' forget about cancer, I am fooling myself. I can't forget. Which is not to say I can't move on. But I move on with eyes wide open, and that is the burden, isn't it. The REALITY that is ever so unyielding and unknown. The future, with all its possibilities, both good and bad. Like you I sometimes think about quitting BCO. But then I realize that here, and only here, do I find myself amongst other who know. KNOW. If we were all in a room we wouldn't even have to say it. We'd look at each other and a connection would pass between us and yup, we are linked by having had our happy little bubbles burst in a doctor's office. It is absolutely true that no one can understand the gravity and profound effect until it happens to them. It can be an isolating and bewildering event. It was for me. But not here. Here I can be the most real I can be anywhere. The others in my life don't want to hear it anymore. They want to move on. Hell, I want to move on! And some days I do. I have some fabulous days! BUt then when I have a bad day and need to not feel so alone with this shit, I come here. At this point it fills a very real need in my life. When I hear someone newly diagnosed I tell them to come here and start reading.

But I fully understand the need to step back. I think about doing the same. In some ways, I already have. You will know what is best for you and that is exactly what you should do!

Parrynd1

Molliefish,

I think it’s understandable to take a break. I do too, and in the few years I’ve had it I’ve met some great people and lost some as well. Sometimes I think it’s so great to have such a community of people going through this together, but sometimes I feel like it’s a devil in disguise friendship circle. It’s hard. Cancer sucks and has brought out anger in me I didn’t know I had. I wouldn’t trade the time I’ve spent here or people I’ve met and connected with though. I’d definitely subtract the cancer if I could, but that’s just life.I’m realizing I don’t care about seeing the world or buying a new car, but connecting with people because we all go someway somehow. Maybe I can help them how they have me, maybe not, that’s ok too. We all have to do what’s right for us.

AliceBastable

I'm fairly new here, diagnosed in early June, and I probably started lurking here soon after. When I had a hysterectomy ten years ago due to endometrial/uterine cancer, I joined Hystersisters.com (great place, highly recommend it for those who are hollow in the nether regions) and I spent a lot of time there for the first month or so. I gradually tapered off, I guess once I was back at work and had other things on my mind. I don't think I checked in at all after a few months. But, the hysterectomy was a one and done, no chemo or radiation, which perhaps made it easier to put behind me and think of it in the past tense. This time, I've had a lumpectomy and re-excision, then an interruption for a different cancer and surgery to remove that, so I still have to do radiation. And anti-hormonals. 🙁 And, since the other cancer was borderline in size but the doctor said no chemo, I'll have frequent scans to check pretty much everything, I guess because I am a crap magnet. So this seems such a lengthy process compared to the hysterectomy experience, and I may need to stick around here to occasionally rant, vent, or just feel less mentally alone. But there are many days where I already forget about the bc, which I'm sure will change when the daily zaps start. And there's nothing like a different and more major surgery to get your mind off a lumpectomy!

mistyeyes

Molliefish, I completely understand. Sometimes I stay away because it makes cancer too much in my face. I need to step away and live life.

Lula73

molliefish- I read your message about leaving and was disappointed as you add so much to the forums, however I also understand needing to put some distance in place. I didn’t post anything about your leaving because you said you were leaving and if you’re not on the boards you wouldn’t see the message anyway. I’m so sorry for the loss of your friends. I hope you find the support you need here on BCO.

leftduetostupidmods

My whippet was diagnosed with liver cancer last year in October and given two months to live, tops. I didn't have the money for treatment and, having gone myself through chemo didn't want to subject him to it. Got him on a home cooked diet of grilled chicken breast, boiled sweet potatoes and fat free cottage cheese, CBD oil and milk thistle extract. He's still alive, eating, playing with the cats and happy. I know that he didn't have long anyway, he's 12 y.o., but each month I can give him is a victory. When he won't be comfortable anymore I will put him to sleep even if my heart is breaking just thinking of it.

I also took breaks from the forum many times during these past 9 years. But I a!ways come back.

goodprognosis

Molliefish

I saw your post about leaving the BcOrg Boards. It is something I myself have been thinking about. I think we all need a break from time to time.

It's always here to come back to.

I hope you find enough emotional support through your family and friends. I don't have a lot of support in that respect but can get by with DH. I'm pretty independent....

Best of luck to you.

GP

Edited to correct name spelling - sorry Molliefish!

Snickersmom

Molliefish - I, too, understand why you are taking a break. It's probably time for me to do the same thing, even though I only have 18 months under my belt. I feel like the more I am on it, the Moore I think about my cancer and I know I should be distancing myself from it instead. I have a pretty full life and I don't want cancer to be a big part of it like it was last year. That being said, I still look to all of you for support, so I don't see myself totally leaving.

Ann

Mominator

molliefish: I also read your message about leaving and I also didn't comment at the time because you wouldn't see it if you were leaving. I hope you don't take it personally that no one commented because lots of folks leave from time to time. 

I hope you were able to rest and recharge a little bit during your two week break. 

Welcome Back

molliefish

Thanks to all, you truly are the one group of people that gets it. Love to all.

candy-678

Molliefish-

Only you can make the decision to leave BCO.  We understand.  But I will miss you.  And all who post here, I would miss you too.  I know new ones come (unfortunately), and some leave us for their eternal home, and some need to move past this group for their peace of mind.  But I think we have a special group here that can help each other out.  We truly understand what it is like going through this fight where others just cannot truly know. 

Capecodgirl

Molliefish- I do not post a lot, but read a lot here. I was surprised and sad when you said you were leaving. I was not sure why, but did not respond since I thought you were not on the boards. Take the time you need, and hopefully come back. We will miss you.

OK My rant. I am so mad I feel like my blood pressure is going thru the roof. A college friend who is now and has been for many years a respected chiropractor (I have not seen him or spoken with him since college- we do not live anywhere near each other) did a Facebook Live presentation tonight on nutrition. At least that is how it was titled. Within the first few minutes he stated that many diseases, and included breast cancer were preventable. He actually said breast cancer is preventable! I went back and listened 2 or 3 times to make sure I heard it correctly. Right now I am on fire. I wanted to respond, but did not want to create a scene, or embarass him on facebook, so I started to message him to let him know how I feel. I haven't hit send yet, but this is what I wrote:

I was enjoying watching your presentation on facebook live tonight until you mentioned that breast cancer is preventable. I was really shocked by that. I am not sure how much you know about breast cancer, but a blanket statement like that is a slap in the face to all of us who have managed to get this disease. There are many people that exercise, eat well and maintain a healthy weight that get breast cancer. There are extreme athletes that get breast cancer. Neither my doctor nor I believe my breast cancer could have been prevented thru better eating, more exercise or maintaining a healthier weight. As a doctor I hope that you do more research on the cause of breast cancer before you throw out statements like that to people who hear you, respect you, and believe these statements to be true medical facts.

Not sure if I should post this on his facebook page, message him or (have a glass of wine) and just forget about it. Or if there are other things I should say as well.

Rant over- thanks for listening. Will happily accept any advice

Lita57

SEND this privately so as not to create a "scene" on facebook.

I did EVERYTHING right...food - watched my sugar, monitored alcohol consumption, exercised, etc., and I STILL got Stage IV right from the damn gate!

There are good drs out there, and bad drs out there. I wonder how far down in his class he graduated...certainly not in the top 10% of his class, that's for sure.

L

WC3

Capecodgirl:

People like him are the exact type of people I have been ranting about.

Whether or not you want to confront him is up to you, but I doubt you will change his mind. The original philosophy of chiropracty was that disease is caused by spinal sublaxations. While most chiropracters today have moved away from that idea, many of them have adopted similarly largely unsubstantiated ideas and they make their money marketing them.

Your friend will likely find some diet or lifestyle flaw in everyone who has had breast cancer by which to blame them with. I still can't forget the guy who was advocating that people drink their own urine. Yeah I am pretty sure my breast cancer isn't from not drinking my pee.

Capecodgirl

it really bothers me that a “ medical professional" actually believes that. And says it to people who believe him because they know nothing about breast cancer. And then they believe it too since he is a medical professional

Snickersmom

I agree with Lita. You need to tell him.

It was a damned stupid ignorant thing to say.

WC3

Capecodgirl:

If you do confront him, keep us posted. It would be interesting to see his reply.

Meow13

capecodgirl,

I would say something. I too was eating very well, no alcohol and sugar only from foods like apples, raspberries stuff like that I was 123 pounds cardio exercise 1hr everyday. My cholesterol blood numbers were great good blood pressure. My oncologist, top BC oncologist in Seattle said it wasn't anything I had done. We just don't know why some people with no risk factors get BC. I want to scream it from my roof top. No one in my family ever had BC.

Lula73

capecodgirl- you can let him know by sending the message, but it likely won’t change his mind. My MIL went to a chiropractor that told her he could cure her type 1 diabetes through regular spinal adjustments and massaging a spot on her hand regularly. Ummm, no, adjustments and massaging her hand will not make the dead beta cells in her pancreas miraculously come back to life and start making insulin again! She would die without the insulin. Likewise with this guy, there are women out there who listened to his talk tonight that will likely now ignore a lump and/or skip regular mammos because this health professional told them if they did what he said they would prevent cancer. Things like this should be punishable to the full extent of the law similar to yelling ‘Fire!’ in a crowded theater. Totally irresponsible. I guess if there’s a record of what he said, any one that watches it, follows his advice to prevent cancer, and later gets diagnosed can sue him. Way to put yourself out there Doc!

Egads007

Definitely send as a PM.....with a link to the BCO community boards, directing him to the search tab. Might be helpful in making his next FB presentation actually valid

Capecodgirl

I will def send him a message tomorrow, after I have calmed down a little. I ended up listening to more of the presentation. He also actually said that gene mutations do not play a part in people getting diagnosed with illness. They want to blame it, but if they just made good food choices and other healthy lifestyle changes they would not get the illness. This cannot possibly be the same good friend i had in college. I am just flabbergasted.

I will message him tomorrow and post any reply he may have. Also, I think I have seen facebook pics of him holding a glass of wine. Hopefully that "bad" food choice will not cause him to get cancer.

AliceBastable

I'd put the word DOCTOR in quote marks and then send the message. What a crock.

WC3

Capecodgirl:

Good luck with him. He is either delusional or had become a snake oil salesman.

leftduetostupidmods

what is he selling, or preparing the ground for selling? I betcha it's either a book or some supplement. As for messaging him in private, be prepared to get a smearing campaign. That's what happens when snake oil sellers try to prevent whistle blowing. Don't go thinking it's the same person you knew in college. People change.