STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

WC3

DancingElizabeth:

Sorry you have been misunderstood. I know that can be frustrsting as it happens to me quite a bit.

Doctors today are afraid of losing their license due to overprescribing narcotics, but if your psychiatrist is worried about it she can have you bring your prescription in to see that you are not misusing them.

As for her comment about her not liking your life, that may have just been an attempt not to invalidate you. There tend to be two types of people; those who want to be assured by having negative sentiments contradicted, and those who want to be validated by having negative sentiments agreed with, and those in the mental health field have to figure out what category each patient falls in and when. She probably wasn't trying to be offensive. It was probably a socially clumsy moment for her.

hapa

DancingElizabeth - I think you need a new psychiatrist. This person works for you and she's not doing a very good job so fire her.

marijen

Yes, fire her. The last thing we need is doctors that hurt us and don’t get it. But there are new guidelines for opiods and benzos that are making the doctors run scared. The truth is out of 79,000 ODs, 49,000 were from heroin and illegal fentanyl.

pingpong1953

DancingElizabeth, of course you feel alone and misunderstood! Her insight into your life isn't very helpful without some suggestions to help you with your issues. I hope you can find someone who will take the time to get to know you and help you move toward a happier life. I know that's tough to do with BC but the right help can get you moving in the right direction. And she needs to chill out re the ativan - perhaps she needs some herself?

DancingElizabeth

Thanks Everyone...I'm just in a sea of glum today. Feel very sad and lost. I'm trying so hard to hang in there...

Meow13

This whole month has been absolutely horrible. I am depressed too. The tooth pain wore me down. Add that with awful people around me. I am getting away and just the thought of it is keeping me sane. DancingEliza.. ditch the doctor. Let us take care of ourselves we have all been through so much.

JJOntario

Venting...My cortisone shot did absolutely nothing for my rotator cuff tear. Physio put my pain into a 10 so much that I was supposed to start Workyesterday and thankfully they have agreed to push my start date out a few weeks. (My position was restructured last fall and they have called me back so it helps I will be working with some people I know) With all this going on your mind starts to wonder if this just a muscle thing? The only saving grace is that we have a holiday planned so I'm hoping the rest will help me heal.

Anonymous

DancingElizabeth …I've had one or two experiences like that with doctors. I walked out of the office and promptly filed a written complaint with the medical board in the state where I live, sent signed, return receipt (marked confidential, and closed the letter requesting a response).

Some of these "doctors" should not be in practice. They are way too full of themselves or over-the-hill. In some cases, their holier than thou attitude can harm patients!

I think it's okay to go through times of not liking your life. We all do. Having cancer is no help...so I've recently learned!

I wish you well!

Kelly-Anne

Hi JJOntario,

I’m a bit of a veteran on cortisone shots. I’ve got Rheumatoid Arthritis and tore up my rotator cuff with it a year ago. It takes about 7 days for the shot to work. I’m often more sore on days 2-3 and wonder if it worked at all. Day 10 is where you get the aha feeling. It heals while the swelling is down, but tears (esp ones “too small” for surgery) take like a year to heal up.

I’ve got some time off work now for treatment and it is finally seeing some improvement.

Good luck

JJOntario

Thanks Kelly Anne, the soreness from physio has eased a bit but my cortisone shot was a week yesterday. I'm also on edge because I'm super cautious getting a needle poke on that side. Pain is a really horrible thing. I've read that radiation can make these kind of injuries more common and it's frustrating that I never knew that until now. Right now I have a more burning throb and I know I'm eating too much Advil but maybe there is a chance the shot will still work!! (?

candy-678

I just need to vent.....

I have been employed with the same company for 25 years.  I am not perfect, but I have always had good evaluations, volunteered for extra work (committees) , and not had any problems with my bosses.   We just got a new supervisor in my area and she scheduled some time for each employee to talk with her.  She is not new to the company, but new to our area.  I met with her yesterday.  She explained that the previous supervisor might not have adhered to company policy all the time, and she wanted to review company policy concerning attendance, breaks, tardiness, etc.  I know she was giving the same information to all of us so we are all on the same page.  In our company the policy is after 4 absences you are given a verbal warning, after 5 a written warning, and after 7 you are fired.  I have missed 2 days this year so far.  In my history there are some years I didn't miss any days, other years 1 or 2.  She knows I have cancer.  There was some time at the end of the meeting that we just talked--she told me some about herself and I explained my Stage 4 diagnosis to her--my planned CT scans every 3 months, my low white count and the need to prevent illnesses.  I asked her about the attendance policy and my issues.  She directed me to talk to Human Resources.  I plan on doing that.  I know there is FMLA--I used it last year for the surgery and chemo.  And I can resubmit papers for FMLA again if things get too bad.  But just a day here or there ??   Fatigue is always there with the Ibrance, and with fall and winter coming with flu and illnesses around someone with cancer may be affected worse than before.  

I know that business is business.  And they are there to make money not coddle the staff.  But, come on, I have cancer !!!   I did not ask for this !!!!   I have a good record with the company and would hope for some help with my situation to help me keep my job, not only for the money but also to keep my health insurance.  If I would be fired at some point, how would I find another job when I have Stage 4 cancer !!!!!!!    No one would want to hire someone with that diagnosis and prognosis.      And when I have asked about SSD before, I was told I would need to be out of work for 12 months before being considered then another 6-7 months before receiving any money.   18-19 months without money coming in.   And how about insurance. 

Just venting.   Why do we have to worry about this with everything else !!!!  

Lita57

Candy, is this a corporation or smaller company?

I have found that the smaller companies will indeed try to work with you because they DON'T want to have pay the recruitment money and take the time to interview and train your replacement. To larger corporations, sadly, you're just another 'body.' They could care less if you've been there for 25 years. There is NO employer to employee loyalty or security. They could dump you (and sometimes do...) in a heartbeat and have your replacement sitting in your cube the next day.

I wish I could paint a brighter picture, but this is often the way it is.

I see you live in Illinois. In Calif, one can apply for Social Security Disability immediately. I went back and checked my records and I got my SDI about a month after I applied for it. I wonder what's the deal in IL? That just doesn't seem right to me.

L

candy-678

Lita57-

It is a corporation. 

Also, I don't understand the difference in States.  I talked with a Social Security person at our local Social Security Office-----Federal???   Wouldn't it be the same in all States if Federal.

Amica

candy-678

I am sorry you have to worry about this work-related issues on top of everything else.

I believe FMLA can be taken a day or two at a time. I was able to do that. I was able to phone in on a given morning and say I needed to take the day off under FMLA. It's the law. They have to allow it. You do not need to explain the reason, you only need to have submitted the FMLA paperwork, and then you can take the FMLA leave as needed.

There are also some protections under the American Disabilities Act, i.e. an employer needs to make a "reasonable accommodation" to accommodate a disability. To me, having Stage IV cancer would qualify one as having a disability. It doesn't mean one cannot work; it just means someone needs accommodation, like more flexible hours, or occasional days off because of their illness. Again, it might involve some paperwork, but worth looking into.

good luck

mustlovepoodles

If you qualify for FMLA, you can use it a day or even a couple hours at a time. It's there to protect your job, so use it when you need it!

As for SSD. Consider talking with an attorney that specializes in disability. Don't try to go it alone. We learned that the hard way with DH. What should have taken no more than a year ended up taking 3 years, because we didn't know what we were doing. SSD always denies on the first try, but a disability attorney knows all the ways to get around that. Our attorney didn't take any payment until DH got his award. The attorney got a percentage of the award, I think 30%. DH has been on full disability for a heart/lung ailment since 2007, thanks to that attorney.

KatyK

I collect SSD and had no problems at all collecting - did it all with a phone call, did not even have to go to the SS office. They do make you wait, it was 6 months or so before I got first check. I think it may be a slam dunk with a stage IV cancer diagnosis. That was my experience.

Lula73

A coupleof the ladies I know at work have done the intermittent absences on an as needed basis under FMLA. Definitely go see HR and get that going so you don't end up violating the regular policy.

runor

FMLA? Fuck My Life Association? I am confused?!

Georgia1

Ha! Runor, I guess American acronyms are designed to be confusing. That's the Family and Medical Leave Act, which gives (some) employees (unpaid) time off for serious medical issues. The paperwork is um, daunting.

Lita57

Candy...Federal Disability is the same in all states, I believe. But STATE disability is different in each state. Some states don't even have the SDI deduction on your paycheck, so you may not even get that in the state where you live. Here in Calif, we, the employees, PAY INTO IT ourselves...it gets automatically deducted from our paychecks, so they cannot deny us when we file a claim. IT'S OUR MONEY, after all.

Once again, good luck,

L

Anonymous

I agree with mustlovepoodles to hire an attorney who specializes in disability. I have a family member who has been applying for SSI (different than SSD). After their first attempt failed, they got a disability attorney, who works on contingency (30%) and knows the ropes. I don't know about SSD, but SSI is a very long drawn out process, at times humiliating. And SS agents DO make mistakes so have to check and double check everything. Take notes; write down name of any agents you speak with, date and time.

I think SSD is an easier process but do get legal help if you run into bumps.

candy-678

Our State, Illinois, does not have State Disability.  Of course.  Our State is the worst in the US for finances.  Our last 2 Governors ended up in Prison.   So no help there.  

Like I said, I asked about Federal Social Security Disability and was told I had to be unable to work for 12 months before qualifying.  And I told her I had Stage 4 MBC.  But yet in other threads here I have mentioned this and others agreed while others posted that they got their money within a few months.  Like with everything government, it is confusing and seems not standardized.  

I tried to call Human Resources at work yesterday and got put on a list for them to call me back.  

Seems like everything takes multiple phone calls and lots of time anymore.  Nothing easy.  

KatyK-   What State are you from?? How long were you out of work before you applied?  You said it was just a phone call and you received money in 6 months.  I have been told it would be a portion of your regular income ---- was it that way for you.  You can PM me if you want.  

Runor-  Your description is better.   HaHa.  

Thanks to all of you for your posts.  

I HATE THIS CANCER AND I WANT MY OLD LIFE BACK !!!!   I don't want to have to deal with Disability, FMLA, and trying to save my job.  I don't want to be scared of every ache and pain.  I don't want to think about my mortality. I am too young to die. 

candy-678

Viewfinder-

If the attorney works for a 30% cut, will he/she get 30% of my monthly check each month???  Dang.  I heard you only get a portion of your work salary and then 30% off that for attorney fees, not much left to live on.  My pay is the only household income.  I might not have enough to live on if I go on Disability.  

SheliaMarie

Candy - Under the ADA, you should remember that you are entitled to reasonable accommodations, such as flexible hours. I agree with everyone else, start with HR. If for whatever reason, you do stop working...

apply to SSD immediately upon not working. There is a 5 month waiting period before you actually get paid...You get paid on your sixth month out of work.

It was not hard at all. It took a couple hours on the computer, but that was only because I didn’t have all of my income stuff together.

There’s a great forum in here that helped me before I applied.

Anonymous

candy-678, It is my understanding, and it should be verified with any attorney you may speak to, that he gets 30% of the money that you could have gotten if you had been approved when you first applied. I don't think they get a percentage of payments going forward.

The person I know has waited a year and a half since first applying. The attorney said it may take another year or so before the judge is available for the hearing. So, for example, if it takes 3 years to (hopefully) get approved at the hearing, the attorney will get 30% of what you would have gotten during the three year period had it not been rejected. I hear this is kind of typical, at least in the US. I also understand they will pay for any legitimate medical expenses incurred during that time.

I hope I've explained myself clearly and, like I said, please check with an attorney to confirm or revise what I've said.

Again, this is for SSI; the SSD is different and the process probably easier.

All the best....

candy-678

Viewfinder-    Thank you for your imput. 

I would hope SSD would be some easier.  We may not have 2-3 years to wait on a ruling with our diagnosis.

And I certainly do not have the monies to pay for my healthcare without insurance.  Ibrance $11,000 a month, Lupron $5,000 a month, Xgeva $5,000 a month. CT scan $7,000 every 3 months. These are the amounts billed to my insurance that I see when the forms come to me.    My out of pocket is MUCH lower since I have the insurance.

I guess I could seek out an attorney to consult with and ask questions.  I might look into that.  

Thanks all.  

   

Anonymous

One other thing...these attorney's usually give a free initial consultation, so it might be worth to check one out.

Liwi

Candy


Does your company have short term disability coverage? These types of benefits typically pay a percentage of salary for continuous absences for a period of time for example up to 6 months.

You should be eligible for FMLA job protection up to 12 weeks/year and ADA accomodation for intermittent absences related to your cancer diagnosis.

Your HR department should be able to help you with these.

candy-678

Liwi-

I plan on talking with my HR department next week after the Holiday.  And I will take notes.  My company does have short term disability and also long term disability.  But if I do not adhere to the regular attendance policy and get fired for missing too much then I would think the disability benefits are gone.  That is what is worrying me----following all the rules so they don't have reason to fire me and thus can wipe their hands of my situation.  As we posted here corporations do not have a heart and know how to work the system.  Ridiculous I have to do this dance to keep my job.  

ADA accomodations---what do they cover?? I was thinking that this is for HOW I do the job, ie lifting so many pounds due to bone mets .  Would ADA accomodations include absences due to fatigue, MD visits, etc. ? Where do I educate myself on ADA accomodations and what they cover?   

LimnoGal

candy- apply for FMLA. Depending on how your doc completes the paperwork, you can be off for a contiguous period of time, or for intermittent periods throughout the year. There may be prerequisites like you have to have been with your current employer for at least a year (you should be good there) and you have to have been at work at least half of the previous work year. You can also request reasonable accommodations (lifting restrictions, periodic time off, etc.). The requested acvommodations do have to be reasonable.

I have had two employees apply for and receive SSD and LTD recently. Neither used an attorney.

Best of luck to you.