STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

TaRenee

Amica, Tamoxifen induced menopause. Such fun. I just keep telling myself that if this is what it takes to remain cancer free I can deal with it. But lately it’s taken an upswing and I’m miserable

JKL2017

I'm in the same (sweaty!) boat, TaRenee! Ever since starting exemestane, I am experiencing one long heat wave. While I'd love to see it end, it's still better than the never-ending muscle pain & fatigue I had on anastrozole. All I can do is pray for an early winter! The things we have to go through ...

runor

Meow, sorry not to answer sooner. Regarding the CBD oil, how did I take it? A capsule, I was supposed to take 4 a day. But I rarely do what I'm supposed to do so I took 2. Did it help with joint pain? At the time I was taking it I had not started tamoxifen and did not have joint pain (those were the days!). By the time I started tamox and having joint pain I had long since quit taking the CBD oil. So I really can't say if it would help with joint pain.

Why does everything "expert" have to be in the hands of the medical establishment? As someone else said, there are all sorts of people out there who know their pot inside out. What will get you high, what won't, how much to smoke or eat for a buzz of how long, or no buzz. This should not even be left up to doctors but should be a whole new industry of Stoner Stoics, pot breeders, hash distillers who Know Their Shit. Doctors will never be as up to speed with any of this as the people who make a lifestyle out of knowing the weed. This idea that you can be an 'expert' on something just by studying it is mostly bullshit. Like when I hear of some 'parenting expert' who has never raised a child, giving advice to people who ARE raising kids. Oh my god, flock off with that shit! My Grandma who gave birth to 15 babies and raised 14 of them to adulthood, now SHE was a parenting expert! Not some dipshit from university who sat in a classroom as opposed to having shit under her fingernails and puke in her hair. Spare me. Same with dope experts. Forget the guy in the tie and white coat. You want to find the guy with red eyes and a bag of popcorn and who thinks everything is funny, HE is your expert!

SheliaMarie

I’ve tried regular (not medical) marijuana, but it didn’t help with my joint pain. I sure slept good though! a co-worker if my husbands sent some CBD oil to me, but I’m scared to try it. Will it help with the pain??

As for the ridiculous cost of healthcare... I just received a statement from my radiation oncologist. I had 5 rounds of radiation recently to help with pain in my pectoral muscle. Each one cost $28219.00! That’s not including the simulation set up which was $6490.00 or the doctor consult which was $947.00. It just makes me sick to my stomach!

SheliaMarie

I think my husband is addicted to laundry. He left for work and as usual I could hear the washing machine. I just went to put clothes in dryer and it is literally his pajamas, underwear and towel from his shower!

Lula73

Shelia- send him to my house next please!!😀

Lita57

I sweat now, and I'm not even on AI's or Tomoxifen.

What I hate the most is I sweat UNDER my chin on my neck. When I went thru "natural" menopause in my early 50's, I never got that.

What gives? Then it spreads around to the back of my neck. I have to use a baby wash cloth to wipe it down. I still get the sweating under the boobs, too...but my boobs have shrunk so much since cancer.

Just somthin' we gotta live w/I guess :>{

L

wintersocks

Lita

I get the sweating under the chin too!

bcincolorado

I keep ice packs in the freezer all the time and will put one on my head and anywhere else I need it to cool down fast. I use the "softer ones" so they will conform. In the grocery store I'm not opposed to sticking my head into the freezer section if I need to either! I do carry a hand fan now all the time too.

Egads007

I think I posted this before, so FWIW:

Bed, Bath & Beyond or Amazon. Works great when you’re out and about.

avibaby

Hi Sheila Marie,

I too struggled with how to tell people who would not give me the kind of support that I would need.

I chose to keep my BC news away from those people (which include many family members). So my husband is the only person I have shared my BC news with. I knew that he would be calm and positive and he was all of that and more; he handled everything well and instinctively knew all the right things to say.

But my family? No...No...No. So many of them suffer from negative thoughts and anxiety. I would never want to tell them, the news would create mentally disabling trauma for them, which I don't want to happen. Also it would create endless questions, negative EMAILs, and phone calls to me. This is also NOT what I want. Also when their anxiety kicks in they start giving me "strong advice" which feels bossy and I absolutely cannot tolerate this. I want to make my own decisions and when I need input I will ask my husband. 

I am totally happy with my decision to not discuss it with them. 

Artista964

your fam sounds similar to mine avibaby. They don't know either. Mental sanity preserved...

Micmel

I told my mother, and she said “I don't want to hear about that you're fine and that's all I want to hear". Slam. Talk about slamming the door in my face. My twenty one year old son talks to me more openly than she does! My one brother texts me and asks me how I am.... (the only one I talk to anyway. My one sister and One brother I am estranged from). So I say. “I'm in living hell, I cant feel my feet and i can't taste a damn thing. I have scans every six months and blood work all the time. I hate going to the doctors, I worry all the time". Next text. From brother. “Look if you want to have a relationship with me you have to stop being so negative when we talk". Excuse me what did you just say? Did you just threaten a stage four cancer patient with love.? Did you actually just say that to me? Ok ✅! Mental note made. What a jerk. Hurt my feelings. Whatever is left of them. The only person that listens is my DH. People are just simply amazing.

Meow13

Micmel, stick with the supportive people in your life. Distance yourself from the others. Now is the time for you to take care of yourself. Unfortunately, many of us have experienced what you have. Really hard when it's your mother or brother though. My mom can't handle the mention of my cancer and it is hard for me to listen to her health complaints. I just want to be happy and feel ok. So many of us know how you feel.

Lula73

that phone powered fan is the bomb. They have them at Dick’s Sporting Goids too!

Anonymous

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in April. My sister was diagnosed with breast cancer last week following a biopsy. I'm so angry, I don't know how to handle it. I'm a person of faith but even that's not helping right now. Does the anger ever go away?

Micmel

View~ I am not going to paint a pretty picture. I guess for me. My answer is a solid no I will never stop being angry. Never. I guess it depends on who you are as an individual and how and what you have been through all your life. My life hasn't ever been roses(but who's has?) just when I find that content self and life and Is so happy, I could actually smile and be a happy person. I was until that lump appeared. I had finally been ok in my own skin and started to love myself. I had never been happier. Then mister lump appeared and I knew I was in trouble. I could feel the dread looming for a while before diagnosis.

Then I was shown into a room and the door was closed. When it opened my life would NEVER be the same ever. I see everything differently. The sky, a leaf , a sound. The smell of rain. The way my daughter makes her silly faces. I SEE everything so much more intensely, it brings instant sadness to the fact that, someday soon I won't be looking at any sky, I won't be smelling any rain. I won't be spending time with my DD. Then add in my precious DH, DS,DSS. No the anger never really goes away, you just learn to deal with it like everything else in your life.

I am very sorry that your sister has also been diagnosed. That's just plain awful. I am also sorry you have to find yourself here as well. I'm wrapping you in aSupportive strong hug because I understand..... we all understand. Stay as strong as you're able. Cry when you have too. Don't keep emotions in. They will ROT your stomach. I will say it's been over two and a half years since my diagnosis of denovo. I am in remission. I still struggle with intense spinal pain and side effects from medication that could stop a train. But I am trying to live. Somedays are really good. Like today! Somedays I can barely get out of bed. Take one day at a time. Reach out when you need to. It's always helped me along. These ladies are wonderful. We get it all. No judgement!! Much love ~M~

Lita57

No, Micmel....sorry to say this, but if you are having ANY pain, you are NOT in complete remission, especially since you still have to take all this crappy medication. Mr. C is still lingering there, as you have said in other posts, and he can crop up and cause "more trouble" at any time. We're both adult women, and we DON'T want to "sugar coat" this. It's effin' serious.

Some people in your family are just jerks. Until it happens to them, they won't ever "get it." Don't relate to them, they will only bring you down.

I'm glad we can still be supportive of each other. I'm pissed because my low platelets from gemzar have given me cherry hemangiomas that look like I have the measles all over my chest, arms and shoulders. I'm afraid to leave the house! Oh, we have had a case of the measles again out here in Northern California (Contra Costa Co.)...don't get me started on these loopy, post-60's hippy-dippy chicks who REFUSE to get there kids vaccinated....so, chicky poo, how ya gonna feel if the kid actual DIES from this "preventable" illness? You probably didn't get your kid vaccinated against whooping cough either.

DH and I caught whooping cough in 2011 because vaccines only last so many years. We were vaccinated in the 60's b4 kindergarten, so our immunity ran out. DH lost consciousness TWICE and almost died from it. I broke two ribs from the horrendous coughing, and yes, you DO make that atrocious "whooping" sound, and it gets so bad that you can't catch your breath, so that's why you pass out. Thanks again, hippy-dippy chicks! (Maybe this new person with the measles is a foreigner, but I didn't want to go there, cuz our POS POTUS might get involved and start ranting about undocumented people...I'm sick of that, too.)

I got a measles booster back in the 80's b4 I got married, but it's probably worn off cuz that was almost 30 years ago, sadly.

We're all going to have to start wearing masks out here in California as measles is VERY, VERY contagious.

Take care, L

Micmel

Well....nurses have said. The word and my doctor has beaten around the bush saying no measurable active disease. I know I'll never not have to be on treatment and I've had many many surgeries to cause pain to fight cancer that I will never be rid of. Like my neuropathy, and the joint pain from the hormonal anastrazole I've been taking and will take until they tell me differently. The pain that I feel is not necessarily the cancer. It's the treatments that I’ve already been through, those side effects will never leave me ever. Even if I could stop taking anything today. I have no tumors in any organs (keeping fingers crossed). I have been told By many doctors, this response could last for years, considering it's very limited and in few spots. Another form of pain is emotional. I can no longer run anymore or lift like I used to because I have damage to my body that cannot be undone. That makes my mind hurt like I’m failing. My palliative care group of doctors have women that have been on ibrance stable for 45, 50, and 55 months of nothing but small Dead spots of cancer. My bloodwork has always been normal and my tumor markers, some use them, some don't are 21. I am going to continue to ride this stability or whatever it's called until the barn falls down around me! Much love to you sweet Lita and I already know I am adopting your tenacity and strengths!..... now if I could only cook like you! ~M~

JJOntario

So yesterday I seen my Dr and got my first cortisone shot for my shoulder. I was hoping for instant relief but nothing yet. Cancer is an enemy but chronic pain is too. Now they want me to start shots in the butt to put me into menand try Letrozole. I really don't want to because I'm so afraid of joint pain. I just want to feel good!!!

Anonymous

Thank you Micmel! I can identify with much that you've shared about anger. Yes, I have a lot of anger right now, especially because of my sister. I've experienced my share of sad things during my long life, but so have many others. Hopefully my anger will be reduced when I can concentrate on looking forward not backwards.

Egads007

Don't make someone a priority if they make you an option.

Mominator

Viewfinder: I'm so sorry that breast cancer has attacked both you and your sister in just four months. I would be very angry too. 

With two members of the same family getting breast cancer, it makes me wonder if there is a genetic component. 

Have you or your sister had any genetic counseling or testing done? There are some 29 genes that increase our risk of breast cancer, and many of those genes increase the risk of other cancers (ovarian, colon, skin, pancreas, and others). 

Knowing your genetic status will help you make choices about your treatment, both for breast cancer, risk prevention, and other screenings.  

You might be able to prevent another cancer or catch a cancer earlier. There are no guareentees, but knowledge can be powerful. 

Best wishes, 

Madelyn / Mominator 

pajim

JJ, I took letrozole AND faslodex AND Lupron for four years without joint pain. Many women tolerate it just fine. Many don't. Don't assume you'll have trouble. . .

lovepugs77

This is a minor rant compared to what some of you are going through, but it bugs me, so...I miss the days when I could tell people I was having a bad day (or that I have a doctor's appointment) without them immediately thinking that the cancer has come back/spread/whatever. It's nice that they care and are so supportive, but I'm tired of couching everything with "this isn't cancer related" or "my health is fine, but..." Can't I just have a bad day at work or financial problems like everybody else?

Amica

JJOntario

If Letrozole causes you joint pain they can switch you to another of the endocrine therapies. I did have joint pain from Letrozole, but was switched to Aromasin, was on it for 5 years with no problems. In fact, now I am going back on it. Good luck!

Artista964

arimadix and letrozole use the same mechanism. Aromasin is a little different. Letrozole paralyzed me so i quit after 5 horrible weeks. My insurance doesnt cover aromasin so im back on tamoxifen that doesnt give horrible ses for me.

Artista964

arimadix and letrozole use the same mechanism. Aromasin is a little different. Letrozole paralyzed me so i quit after 5 horrible weeks. My insurance doesnt cover aromasin so im back on tamoxifen that doesnt give horrible ses for me.

Goodrx has generic aromasin for $114. Still too much monthly for me.

runor

Micmel, your brother's self interested text makes me angry. Recently I had a similar experience, with my daughter. I said something concerning cancer and my fears for the future and she blew up. Lost her cool. Came unhinged. Totally attacked me. Reeled off a long list of things I should do to feel better and things I was doing wrong that made me feel worse and I'm thinking, shut your pie hole you little shit. But I did not 'let it go'. I am TIRED of letting things go. Oh, I still sometimes do. I judge whether something really matters, or the person really matters, or I really matter. And this one ... it mattered. So I asked her if she was too weak and precious for my truth and if she is, just tell me, so I can speak to her as I speak to small dogs and babies, slowly and in little words with a squeaky voice. If she wants me to sugar coat everything to make her happy, PLEASE tell me, because I can talk to her like she's stupid, if that's what she wants.

Micmel, your brother should not go unanswered. That was a shitty thing to say. You might want to text back "Concerning last text. Yes, I will remove all negativity. When did someone remove your balls and make you so weak that reality makes you howl? Hope you find your junk and you get some spine to go with it so people can speak the truth to you. I am fighting for my life, Douche bag. By the way, mom and dad found you in a dumpster."

People. Ain't they great?

WC3

I love my sister but let me tell you what she did as I still have trouble understanding the place her mind was.

For context, I have disabilities other than the cancer which limit my job options, mobility and economic potential. I make significantly less money than my sisters but I am frugal to make ends meet at the expense of standard of living. I rarely buy anything except for food, I buy some of my clothes used, I take public transportation because I cannot afford a new car, much less one with adaptions for my disability, and I have not left the city for a vacation in 8 years and that was local vacation. I don't have much in the way of expendable resources except on occasion maybe $100 or $200 that gets put away briefly before something comes up like when my microwave broke or I had to buy things related to the cancer. But most months I just have enough for my basic expenses. It sucks but I've never asked my parents or siblings for money.

My sister, on the other hand, is relatively good health in that she doesn't have disabilities that limit her mobility or employment prospects, has traveled extensively around the world, is constantly going out with friends, loves to shop and redecorates regularly, and really just maintains a standard of living that is significantly higher than mine and that I really just don't have the resources for. Each to their own though.

Anyway, shortly after I was diagnosed, after I had just gotten out of the hospital for another life threatening issue and waa going through withdrawal from a medication that was spiking my blood pressure and threatening to send me back to the hospital, she offered to take me to one of my cancer consultations. I was able to get there myself on the bus but she said she wanted to help and it's nice to get ride rather than take the bus so I said ok.

Anyway I had my consultation and on the way back down in the elevator she started telling me about her financial problems and painted some doom and gloom picture and was striking down all of my solutions..She was going to get evicted: No problem. My landlord has a cheaper place. He won't rent to her: No problem, move in with me. She can't because my place doesn't have whatever amenity (yeah it sucks but that is what I deal with to afford food), and her car is about to be reposessed: No problem, use mine, it runs I just can't drive it because I'm a cripple and can't afford the expense. She can't drive my car, no explaination given. Then she sprung it on me. She wanted me to co sign on a loan for her. I don't do loans because I know there is a chance I won't be able to pay them back. In fact if I could not go to college without taking out student loans, I just wasn't going to go.

At this point I'm thinking "WTF? I'm a cripple with gloomy employment prospects who lives hand to mouth and I have just been diagnosed with at least stage 2 aggressive cancer that was allowed to grow happily in my body for two years, I almost died last week, among other things, I might STILL die, and my blood pressure is unbearable and she wants me to take out a loan, not to make an investment, but to cover her debt, when I wouldn't even take out a loan for myself as an investment? And she is asking me this when I almost died and am sick and just found out I have cancer and have a total sh!tload of medical expenses now?

Total WTF?!?!

Bonus: Everything she told me she needed the loan for, I had a solution to which she struck down. She needed a new computer for work...I happened to have one that someone gave me that I said she could use until she made some money. She changed her story. She needed something else. No problem. My work can order it wholesale. At this point she switched gears and I couldn't follow her.

Do you know how this ended? I wanted to shake her and scream "WTF is wrong you!?!?" but I didn't. I walked out of the elevator and took the bus home so I wouldn't have stroke and two weeks later my "broke" sister somehow managed to find the funds for a week long vacation while I was trying to figure out how to come up with $36,000 for Neulasta.

I love her and forgive her but how can someone have such a big lapse in awareness?