Starting Chemo March 2015

Ckonicki

It took forever and I wanted to quit, but I didn't thanks to your support. Next is surgery in November. I have a lot of anxiety, as does everyone i am sure. I am so thankful that there is a community like this so that we can all give each other support. Thank you all for being here and best of luck to everyone, prayers for everyone!!

BBwithBC45

Lee, I have a fissure, but mine doesn't hurt, just bleeds. I did have a colonoscopy, all good

Jackbirdie

Ckonicki- that is such good news. I know it was unspeakably difficult with the loss you faced. Glad to see you and with your smiling meme. Hugs

IndyGal35

Ckonicki, so thankful to hear you got to ring out. Each time one of us crosses a milestone, it feels like a personal victory for each of us. I see that you have surgery scheduled for next month. You will always find support here when you need it!

Eileen, my right is out to 450, and the left is around 300. (It had to be deflated a bit so the rads beam could pass over it and hit the right side properly.) I was a 36DD before, so I really wanted to aim for 600 for clothing purposes, but there's no way I could tolerate it. I miss my comfy old boobs! :

eheinrich

Lee, I was a 32C. I had my real boob lifted and made a bit smaller - I thought we were shooting for a B but I guess it's more like a smaller C. The real one seems like a stranger still. When all is said and done I'm going to get big ass tattoos on these new girls. Make them mine again. I love the way this woman describes it.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-tattoos-he...

Good luck with the fissure.

Trvler

Do you guys remember when I was asking how I should fire my doctor? I sent her a nice and polite email. I just got a certified letter from her asking me where I was getting my treatment. Is there any obligation to tell her? I think no.

SpecialK

Nope. That is aggressive on her part, but I suspect that she is looking for confirmation that you are actually seeking additional consultation/treatment, rather than doing nothing. This may be for malpractice protection for her - it is a "cover your six" move. She can't compel you to provide an answer though. I receive my skin cancer biopsy results by certified letter, that way they have proof that I signed for the results - it is a documentation thing.

Jackbirdie

I remember well, Allison.

And I remember I didn't think you owed her anything. Being polite was an extra.

But don't listen to me- I think Specialk was quite adamant that you are under no obligation to share....,

She sounds hostile. So glad you fired her.

ETA: haha Special and I x-posted

Carrie37

Congrats on finishing up chemo Ckonicki!!!! Such a great feeling! Focus on that and enjoy feeling better. Try not to stress the surgery too much. Easy to say but harder to do, I know but...you can do it! We are here for you!

Sorry about the fissure Lee. Totally sucks that stuff keeps coming at us.

I went for a fill this morning. This was my sixth time. They asked if I wanted double fill and since I am really just ready to be done with this shit I said YES. I will NEVER again do that. I have not felt this much pain with a fill before. I usually do 60cc but we went to 100 because I could feel it getting uncomfortable. PS said he can't figure out why one of my TE's is not dropping. He showed me with a sample TE so it is hard to explain but he mentioned surgery to fix it. Then told me that it wouldn't be medically necessary but just not right. Hmmm, can we say perfectionist? Anyone else have something similar or heard of this? I had to leave work as a half day. Driving made things feel worse! Thank God the DH is home and had been cleaning and doing laundry all morning. 💜💜

Hugs to all!

Jackbirdie

maybe a quick note to assure her you are getting care but choose not to disclose additional info. Or perhaps her "six" is now covered since she sent it registered.

Trvler

Yes, I figured documentation of some sort was involved. But I was trying to think if somehow I could assure her I was seeking treatment elsewhere, without answering her, what I consider to be nosy question.

Sorry for the bad grammar. I am in a hurry to get to rads. Kids are home from school today. Daughter's ADD is BAD and I am a huge stress case.

Carrie37

Congrats on finishing up chemo Ckonicki!!!! Such a great feeling! Focus on that and enjoy feeling better. Try not to stress the surgery too much. Easy to say but harder to do, I know but...you can do it! We are here for you!

Sorry about the fissure Lee. Totally sucks that stuff keeps coming at us.

I went for a fill this morning. This was my sixth time. They asked if I wanted double fill and since I am really just ready to be done with this shit I said YES. I will NEVER again do that. I have not felt this much pain with a fill before. I usually do 60cc but we went to 100 because I could feel it getting uncomfortable. PS said he can't figure out why one of my TE's is not dropping. He showed me with a sample TE so it is hard to explain but he mentioned surgery to fix it. Then told me that it wouldn't be medically necessary but just not right. Hmmm, can we say perfectionist? Anyone else have something similar or heard of this? I had to leave work as a half day. Driving made things feel worse! Thank God the DH is home and had been cleaning and doing laundry all morning. 💜💜

Hugs to all!

Jackbirdie

So sorry, Carrie. Not medically necessary maybe but wasn't that law passed so we could feel whole again? I would challenge that. So many I've read here had to have revisions. I think they did not pay out of pocket. Not that you actually could endure another surgery. Anyway. So sorry for the ongoing pain in YOUR SIX

Carrie37

Allison, I remember this and I can't believe she is still asking that question. Sounds like a case of CYA!!

SpecialK

carrie - I think the non-medically necessary aspect is that he may be able to correct the pocket situation at the time of exchange - so adjusting the TE now is not medically necessary. This is something that the WHCRA act doesn't specifically cover, since you have not yet exchanged and are requesting a subsequent revision. This is a situation where insurance has leeway to say yes or no.

pboi

Allison...maybe just say what you said here. Assure her that you are continuing yourcare elsewhere and leave it at that. How are you doing with rads?

Sorry to hear about the fissure Lee, hope it feels better soon.

Eileen and Carrie...so sorry to hear your fills are so painful. I hope it will get better soon...hugs!

PB

eheinrich

Carrie do you mean you're TE is high on your chest and much more expanded than the lower portion? That's what I've got going on. Doc said we need that to rectify - didn't mention surgery. The portion below my scar is where it's not quite so expandy.

Trvler

PB: Thanks for asking. So far ok, but only on Day 2/28. I am on the rads board reading about all the tricks to make it less awful. Cooling towels, emu oil (not sure where to get that one), hydrogel pads..blah, blah. lol

Sloth: I got the seeds! Thanks! I can't wait to try them but I have to do something about our soil next year. I don't want to chance it.

IndyGal35

I got a second opinion with a PS this week. She said most women tolerate fills well and don't have extreme pain with "small" fills of 50mL/week. From what Eileen, Carrie, and I have felt, I think a Liar-Liar-Pants-On-Fire is in order.

That "early" surgery that she offers in December is sounding better and better. I wish there was a guarantee that a swap or even removal would bring relief. I'm so ready to move on!!!!!!!

Carrie37

Lee, you described it better. Upper part of foob has shape and lower part is not "inflating." Honestly, I am having such pain right now that I feel like I'm back in the hospital. I would rate my pain at 8 or even 9. Just complaing to people who know what I'm feeling feels better. It just sucks so bad.

eheinrich

Carrie that's exactly what mine looks like. My pain is definitely less than what you and Lee are experiencing but I have been going very slow. I will be increasing a bit each time to move this process along.

greenae

Indy and E

My te was expanded to 600 cc and ""rode" very high, up to my clavicle by the last fill. The skin was so tight I thought it might split. I got 400cc at mx and 50cc at each fill. It was uncomfortable after exercise, and sometimes at night, but relieved by valium 5mg, or motrin 400mg. I just want to tell you that the exchange surgery was so much easier than I was anticipating, and any discomfort --Gone after that sx. Once in a while now it feels tight. But I have returned to Spin and lifting weights, so I attribute it to that. I will need a revision sx, which I will plan with PS in the spring. He needs to do some fat grafting on the left, as there is some denting, and probably going to reduce the right healthy breast a bit more, for symmetry. I have a 700cc silicone implant on the left. I never thought I would be one to not mind sx, but it really was a breeze compared to mx and node removal. I am telling you all this because I want you to know it Will be worth it. Some nights when I was uncomfortable, I cursed this whole process. But now, even before revision sx, I am so happy to look and feel like my old self. I can sleep on either side, look normal in clothes and a bathing suit, have cleavage and they're not sagging anymore! I can go braless. Lol. And sometimes I even Forget what went on the past 9 months!

I want you to know I think you will be happy soon, too. You've come So far! It willget better soon, I swear!

Thinking of you all!

Hugs!

Arlene

IndyGal35

Bless you, Arlene. Are you able to sleep on your stomach now too? Also, did you come home with drains after the exchange?

Carrie, can they go slower for you (maybe 25 at a time), or are they pushing you hard so you can start rads

greenae

hi Indy

I did have a drain on the implant side for 1 week. Had one for three weeks after mx, so 1 week was easy. Lol. I dont sleep on my stomach because it wreaks havoc with these big boobs and my lower back. But I can lay on my stomach for a bit. I was 34-36DDDD before BC, and I look and feel so much better downsized a bit. So something good came out of this mess. And I truly do want you to know it will be worth it.

Small hugs til u get rid of the TE!

Arlene

Wow! Just saw we both had sx on 7/7.

eheinrich

Thanks Arlene. It's good to know that.

Carrie37

Lee, I do have to start rads but my PS has expressed some concern with overfilling and having to take some out once I go for my planning rads appointment. I've got to get this darn PT finished so I can start rads. I will not be letting them expand me much more then that as anything over 60 is too much. I just can't believe the pain today. I feel like I am whining but now my mind is heading to Crazy Town. I don't understand why he would want to exchange the expander. I should sleep. Thanks for listening.

Trvler

Oh, Carrie, I am sorry you are in so much pain.

eheinrich

Hugs Carrie - really, really gentle ones.

greenae

Carrie

I am hoping ur PS gave u a Valium RX for the spasms? If not, can you try Motrin until you can get an RX? It really helps

pboi

Allison...hoping rads goes well for you. I had 25 ttreaments and survived with my skin intact even with a bolus everyday, the worst for me was the fatigue. Keep well hydrated, keep up your protein intake, moisturize, and exercising almost daily really helped with the fatigue.

PB