DIEP 2013
Comments
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Bailey... I am broke apart at the abdomen! Lol. But, there are certainly lots of healed lines. You will like this one. When I was at the PS last week, I asked the NP how far this breaking open would go. She pointed to the end of the scar at the hip and told me it wouldn't go any further than that! I told her that she was just full of good news!
These people just never seem to worry about anything. Some times it is infuriating. -
Sherry...nice...thank you, NP, thank you. Most helpful. Lol!
Hey...we used to be able to choose whether or not our diagnosis and treatment info was included in the post or not and that check box is gone....what happened? Mine is so stinkin long I used to not include it most of the time. -
Hey girls! I have been (and still am) very busy getting kids ready for the new school year, and my own classes started last week. I am so excited to be a normal person doing normal things that have NOTHING to do with cancer! My last herceptin is this Wednesday! I am feeling better now from my last surgery. It is so nice to not have that big boob hole! My boob is also not cantaloupe sized, which means I don't have to stuff my bra on the other side to make them match- haha! I still have a lot of boob in my armpit, but not nearly as much as before. The doctor said he was actually excited that I had this second surgery, because he will be able to do even more refining for stage 2 and get really great results. I don't have another appointment with him for 2 months. I bet the whole office will be glad about that- seems I have been there weekly for various problems since stage 1. LOL!
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damiana.....you sound WONDERFUL....feeling like you are living a "normal life" is a major victory! Congrats!
sweetpickle....it sounds like you had a good time last night..so happy for you!
sbe...did you give the baby back????
bailey....love the sunflower!!!! fyi...?? I can see your "dx, tx, sx" list....what I want to know, is how you put the "quotes" into that area????
Hope it's a day of healing for those who need it, and a day of "peace" for those going into surgery this week.
Have good days ladies.
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Bailey, I think it is helpful for people to include their diagnosis & treatments in their posts because then you know where they are coming from. I always wonder what the background is on the ones that don't share that. I just figured some couldn't figure out how to enter the information. Even though it makes the page a little longer, it helps to refresh the info on each person with each post because it is too hard to remember.
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sweetpickle - glad you had fun at Bunco, and met some nice people too. Sounds like fun!
Tracy - I am 99% positive I ended up getting the same exact bra goldie is recommending. I tried ordering online and what I ordered, did not fit well at all. So I went to JCPenney's and tried some on. The Bali's were definitely the best. They came in size S-M-L-XL-XXL instead of the more particular regular sizes. I am supposed to end up a B/C cup size, but I am definitely larger than that right now, and my foob is at least 1 cup size if not 2 sizes larger than my lifted natural breast! But the Bali's fit great (I got XL; I was wearing a 38D prior to my surgery), very very soft and comfortable.
Jeannie - I love sangria, pass a glass this way please!
hrf - oh those drains stink. Are you still putting out a lot of fluid? Any chance you will get to lose them this week?
bailey - I really like that, focusing on the amount that has healed well instead of what isn't. I have two spots that are having a little trouble - one under my natural breast that was lifted, and then a couple of inches on my tummy incision. They aren't terrible but I do mentally fret about them a lot. You are right, it is truly amazing how much has healed well. And I am so greatful that my foob is healing beautifully. Love the sunflower pic!
curlylocks - I can only speak for myself but I have a love/hate relationship with bras right now. (I'm almost 4 weeks out.) If I go too long without wearing one, the sides of my breasts become very sore. If I wear one for too long, the underside of my breasts, where I have incisions healing, becomes very sore. So right now I am basically wearing a bra 24/7 but take it off from late afternoon/early evening until just before bedtime, and then in the middle of the night/early morning I wake up, throw it off, and go back to sleep!
omg mommalou, that is infuriating! I would have been so irritated. It may not be a big deal to them but it's our bodies and it's a big deal to us!
damiana - congrats on finishing herceptin this week! That is huge! When I finished chemo I really didn't feel "done" because I was still doing herceptin too. Now you will be done with infusions! *happy dance* *happy dance* If you have a port are you getting it out right away or keeping it for a while? Seems like most gals keep theirs for quite some time but I hated mine and I had mine removed about a week after I finished the herceptin. Haven't missed it yet! lol And what a relief to not have any appointments for a couple of months! Ah, normal life! I know it's all I want!
Yesterday I cleaned the house. I was worried I would not be able to do it. The last part was a little rough but I pushed through it. I was sore afterwards, especially in my hip areas, which was a new place for me to be sore, but it was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I was really pleased with myself. The three week mark was a major turning point for me. I will be at 4 weeks in two days and I don't feel normal, but I am starting to have a good taste of normal again. I am so grateful and relieved to be through the worst of it. I never imagined how hard recovering from this would be, and I was fortunate to not have the complications so many others have had.
Tomorrow I go back to work and I am dreading it, mostly because of having to wake up early. It seems like I do my best sleep between about 4am (that's around when I wake up and need to take something for pain) and 8am. But I need to go back. I've been mad at DH all week (which is completely not normal) and yesterday he gently said that he thinks sitting at home and thinking too much is making me a little overly sensitive. LOL He is probably right! I'm just going to have to try to go to bed very early each night. My job is mostly sitting so physically I think I will be okay; not sure if my brain is up to being used anymore though.
I hope everyone is having a great weekend!
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Christina, I went back to a desk job and the anticipation of getting back into the groove, waking up early, getting dressed for work, facing the pile-o'-backlog on my dest, etc. was far worse than the actual events. Do you ever take anything for sleep? Go to bed early tonight with a pharmaceutical aid to get past the anticipation insomnia and you'll be golden tomorrow morning.
Nihahi, my DS and DIL arrived here at midnight to pick up the baby and although it was painful to hand her back and let them drive away with her...it was also nice to know I could tumble into bed and sleep uninterrupted until morning! We sure had fun, though. Took her to a neighbor's for a visit, rocked her in her great-great-grandmothers rocking chair, the dogs licked her little toes and were fascinated. Lovely.
Goldie, I have just two bras that I can wear now, leftover from silicone foob days. I didn't want to shop much before figuring out what the "girls" will end up needing, but your Bali bra sounds perfect. And you image of our spa is heavenly. Let's have dirt trails, a couple of bicycles in the shed, a manicurist/pedicurist/massage therapist working 24/7, and a warm pool where we can all skinny-dip in the moonlight. Ladies only!
Damiana, YAY for the last Herceptin! You go girl!
Happy Sunday, everyone. Yawn...
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Sharon, I didn't want to include my diagnosis, treatments, etc. because (there's no way to say this without soundy stuffy) I didn't want to be defined by my diagnosis or treatment status if that makes any sense. My second opinion oncologist once said to me, "That diagnosis they gave you? That means nothing." And I've lived by that. But I totally understand women who want to learn and speak with others who've gone through similar treatments/diagnosis to see where they are coming from.
Tracy good luck with the bra searching. I've been on a life-long quest for a decent bra. lol... Once I called my hubby to ask him to pick up maxipads. He was mortified. He said, how about I also pick up some condoms and lice spray to make the checkout that much more fun?
Sounds like you are doing great Christina. Take it easy and rest too.
hrf, getting drains out is the best part of the whole gig! lol...
Goldie, is it too early to share the wine? (5'oclock somewhere in the world and all that.)
Sweetpickle, never heard of Bunco but it sounds like fun.
Goldie, thank you so much. Your words are so comforting. I love porch swings! And Jeannie, I'm sure we can all go! The more the merrier!
Bailey, love the sunflowers and great advice as usual! I keep trying to stay positive but damn it is a struggle. I had my civil war surgery on Thursday and the wound area has been nice and closed for three days. Last night I was lying in bed and smelled a really bad smell. And I mean BAD. My first thought was that the flower vase must have stinky water in it. My next thought was that my husband farted but since he was in another room, that would be a powerful fart! I then felt "water" underneath me. Yep, the dam burst and foul stinky fluid was pouring out. I panicked and called the hospital resident on call who of course told me "not to worry". I'll be seeing the PS on Monday morning. Since last night I've filled three diapers. Literally. Surgical dressings didn't cut it. Maxi pads couldn't catch it fast enough, so baby diapers it was. Foul, stinky brown fluid that smells like a mouse died in there. I am pretty much at my wits end. Hoping the drainage will be the last of the bad stuff to come out and healing from here on out.
Have a wonderful Sunday ladies. Despite all my miseries, I'm determined to keep a stiff upper lip and enjoy this wonderful weather. Even if it is just from my recliner.
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Yeah, Damiana. I was wondering how you were, and it looks like you are great!!!! That is awesome. Sounds like your stage 1b really helped you.
Chrisrina, did you have mx with your diep? I know it took me a long time after my bmx to feel comfortable in a bra. Even though I couldn't feel anything when I put a bra on my armpits hurt, and my sternum area hurt. That is slowly going away, thank goodness, because as they fill these expanders I need something on to give them an even look, and that bali bra is perfect for that. The slight padding and the shape are awesome, and so soft. BTW...cleaning house at 3 weeks. You are our new superwomen!!!!!!! Take it easy girl, and I think SBE recommendation for sleeping tonight is on the money.
Sharon, I agree, I like to read people's history sometimes too. It helps a little when you are getting to know people what they have been through. Also, sometimes you can direct a question to sombody who has already been through what you are about to go through, or are going through. I get what I just said, do you? lmaooooo
SBE, you can add anything you want to the fantasy BC retreat. That's what it's all about. Finding the perfect place for everybody to feel wonderful.
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Bluebird...holy cow, girlfriend...foul, stinky brown drainage pouring out of you is NOT OK. I have learned from painful experience that waiting through a Sunday for a physician's office to open on Monday morning is not a great idea. Are you feverish or is the area red or sore?
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Bluebird144!!!! Ugh theses drains are nightmare! I hope you get it worked out!!
Thanks for all the bra advice. I am wearing on now because the PS put me in it. My breast has a large incision at the bottom. Seems if I had no bra it would split.
I have a poky drain I've named Asshole(sorry for language)! But it is the main reason my sleep is off!
I hope everyone has a healing happy Sunday! -
mammalou, I am concerned about you. I cannot believe that your ps and his/her team have seen more than one case of DIEP ab-incision opening up as extensive as what you described of yours. I think that you should seek out a good wound care clinic and get a second opinion.
Best wishes to all Wilbur's Flappers. -
Bluebird144, listen to sbe, get off your computer and go to the er now.
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Oh my goodness, Bluebird...that sounds very good, and very bad. Good that the dam burst on some nasty seroma, possibly, and it is all draining out, but I would want an expert opinion. Like SBE said, better now, then later when it's almost too late.
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The fantasy spa will need a huge dessert bar that is of course nutritious and calorie free. Lol
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Oh, and one more thing. In the outside world maybe you don't want to be defined by your diagnosis, and I get that, but isn't that why we are all here, because we are not judging each other by dx? Just here to support each other, and if knowing what somebody has gone through can help you be a better "supporter" than all the better.
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Bluebird.....please, at the very least, call your surgeons all hours number and talk to whoever is covering his service over the weekend. Better yet...go..to..be..seen..by..someone...TODAY. Discolored, foulsmelling, massive drainage from a recent op site IS NOT A WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW SCENARIO.
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Christina, housework at 3 weeks. Amazing! I hope I feel as well as you at 3 weeks
Bluebird, I agree. You should be seen ASAP.
I see PS on Wednesday and hope the drains will come out but right now I think the output is too much.
My kids are coming with dinner. Looking forward to seeing the grandkids.....got 4 of them. -
I have no problem sharing my dx, sx or tx and I used to share it the first time I posted each day (or more if I forgot to check the box lol). I agree it is helpful. Her2+ girls always jump out at me since I was, too (btw congratulations on finishing your Herceptin, Damiana! I had a party for myself with all my "inner circle" girlfriends and sister and mom the week after I finished...we all went to dinner together...had a private room....it was a great time and a great opportunity to thank everyone for their love and support). Anyway...it's just so long I hate to include it every time I make a remark....just takes up the whole page....but I guess it's not killing any trees here in cyberspace, eh?
As far as if people share or not....to each their own. Nobody here should ever feel pressure to share more than they are comfortable with sharing, imho. There are some very personal topics and issues that are shared here, maybe people don't want to be identified. What is more, I bet there are plenty of women who don't know a lot about their breast cancer or treatm
ent. I have met women who have no idea what kind of chemo they had (and then you have Sbel on the other end of the spectrum telling the MO which chemo to give her
Love that soooo much, Sbel...you rock). Either way...all need our support. -
I'm at the virtual spa via my recliner. You are all there. Good drinks, chocolate music and bikes by the trails. Hiking poles leaning by the tree, a glistening pool of aqua water waiting for the skinny dippers by moonlight.
There is no pain. There are no complications, only perfect, loving, healing. Wrapped in blankets, those of us who are healing slower than others are listening to a reading of a great novel by a fire.
Others are sharing stories of recovery, family and friends.
We are united as one. Because it is the weekend family and friends are abound! Little Aubrey rose is getting all the love a baby could want.
This my friends is what is getting me through today!
Bluebird, stiff upper lip be damned. I cry every time I change dressings or have to look at tummy. You should see a doctor today. I know what you mean by no one being concerned though. Friday I let my PS know my foob incision was opening and I was told to make sure I keep my appointment for Tuesday. Today when I changed my dressings I noticed what looks like a "wormhole" next to where it is opening. Scared to death of what's happening!
Back to my spa before tears start again! Oh and to think, Christina, your surgery was the day after mine and I can't even bathe or shower with my wound vac. Won't even leave my house. You are my hero! -
Ugh, Sherry, I remember how excited you were as you were closing in on surgery. I wish this didn't happen. Hang in there. It will get better. Those wound vacs work, and it won't be long before you start seeing some results. Keep you eye on the prize.
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I just had a thought, Bluebird....So do you think maybe what is pouring out is from a hematoma? Dark brown, foul smelling could be "old blood". It a smells like nothing else on earth. The only way I can describe it is that it smells like old blood. My foob drain put it out for three weeks from the hematoma...it was dark brown and foul smelling.praying for you!
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For those of you with wound issues- this is what I noticed helping me- I packed it tight like they showed me, then one day I decided to not pack it quite as tight (not as far back into the hole) and that is when I noticed that the hole got just a little bit smaller and more filled in. I would keep it at that amount of packing for a couple of days, then lighten it up just a bit- And by the time I had my surgery to sew up the hole, there wasn't much of a hole left- just an open wound that skin would not grow over (but no longer a hole) I hope that helps- I know thatwound care was definately my least favorite thing to deal with.
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Bluebird... Foul smelling is a sign of infection.. Call the hospital back and make sure they understand the description of it.
On a positive note, although my wound grew longer last week, I felt like for the first time today it was not as deep. It also seems to have a base of granulation tissue ( which is good) even over the muscle now. A glimmer of improvement sure lightened my load today. -
Sherry....hugs going out to you. You have the courage many of us dream about having. Love the spa...positive place of healing for sure.
Mammalou....absolutely spot on...you don't heal end to end...it's from the inside out, and it sounds like you're definitely making progress!
Bluebird.....what's the update girl? -
Bailey, I thought of that too--that it could be old, foul-smelling hematoma blood pouring out of poor Bluebird. It could be perfectly OK and even a good thing to get all that rotted blood out of there, but still, this sounds like a set-up for an infection. An opening in the skin, a perfect medium for bacteria to flourish (the old blood), and voila...bug city.
When I first came to BC.org, right after my diagnosis, I was so freaked out I couldn't even READ people's treatment signature lines, much less add my own. It just all felt so awful. This was when I was frightened and depressed, and I'm so glad I emerged out of that. I think everyone should feel OK about sharing whatever they're comfortable sharing; I totally understand someone's reticence...especially "out there" in the general world, where I keep some of the details of my diagnosis pretty much to myself. For me, anyway, it's different here. No one here is going to act like I'm about to fall over dead, or ask me if I'm sure the cancer's gone, nonsense like that.
Back to work tomorrow! Although I need to cram five days of work into three; on Thursday I'll be in the operating room spa having a front-end tune-up.
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Hi all. Now I'm really freaked out by everyone's response. Sherry, the stiff upper lip is often quivering. I can't believe I have liquid left to pour out of me with all the crying I've done too. We certainly didn't sign up for this. But then again, I try to think of how far we've come and it's just one more bump in the road but we'll stay on track even if we have to ride the curb for awhile.
I am so worn out from being told everything will be fine by my PS's office and not to worry, meanwhile everyone here (at home) and on the forum is freaked out. My gut feeling is this is not right either but I have no energy left to fight or make decisions about what to do other than listen to what the doctor's office tells me.
Yesterday I spoke to the resident on call and told him how foul the discharge was and he just told me not to worry. I'm on Bactrim, I have no fever, and as far as he's concerned it sounded like it was just dead liquified tissue coming out and not to be alarmed. (I hate to break it to him, but the words "dead" and "liquified" coming out of my body by nature is alarming.) I told my husband if I get feverish or at all don't seem right to him, take me directly to the local ER.
I'm going into the virtual spa with Sherry. Soothing meditation music and warm blankies are just what the doctor ordered. Have a good night all. Will be taking a sleeping pill soon to get me through the night until I see the PS in am.
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Take care bluebird....we all have you in our thoughts. I'm sure no one meant scare you, we just care. Hubby, Wilbur and bactrim will be watching over you tonight.
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Yoga cd's are burned, and I will be mailing them tomorrow, or the next day. I need to get them over to the post office. Hope you all enjoy them, and if you have any questions please hollar at me.
Tomorrow is the first day of school in our area. Quiet out in the street tonight. Kids are in getting ready for their big morning tomorrow. I miss those day.
Bluebird, let us know as soon as you see your PS tomorrow what he had to say.
Sherry, hang in there.
SBE..three more day till perfection! How exciting.
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Bluebird, you echoed my thoughts exactly! Im so disgusted by my odour from the wound vac that i can relate to the foul smell part.
Enjoy the pill and the tranquil sleep it brings! Let us know what PS says tomorrow.
I see the wound specialist nurse from homecare tomorrow. I have not much faith left in homecare! I don't se my PS until Tuesday morning so 2 nights of drug induced sleep for me!
Thank you all for your words of encouragement!
I think I can *, I think I can*, I think I can* ...
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