DIEP 2013
Comments
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Happy Anniversary Jeannie!
Just woke up at 8 pm! Woke up today nauseous and vomiting from pain today. But feel better now. I still can't believe my "civil war surgery" as my husband calls it. My breast mound is a weird shape now. It makes me sad since it was beautiful just 10 days ago. But it will heal and hopefully get repaired at some point. I am a little taken aback at how "quick and dirty" the surgery was. No anesthesia, just lidocaine. I guess he just wanted to get the dying tissue out and closed it up not with nice little hidden plastic surgery sutures, but big thick looping external sutures. Oh well. Thank you everyone for the good thoughts and lighting a candle!
Love the goat pictures. I used to have a pygmy goat who backpacked with me and carried my water bottles. Just need to get some more goats after I'm healed and I'll bring them all along as sherpas!
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Happy Anniversary Jeannie! I live between Lansing and Grand Rapids, Michigan.
Wow! A lot of you are going through so much. It makes me feel guilty as I didn't have many complications following my 3 surgeries except nausea, vomiting, and constipation. Mainly from anesthesia and pain meds. I wish I could be more helpful, but I think of you all so often. I look at that list daily and keep you in my prayers for healing and strength to get through this.
Deb- if something feels wrong to you I would follow your instincts and call your PS. You should be able to walk and type. Are you sleeping well?
SheCherple- that is a lot of weight. I am impressed as I struggle to lose a few pounds. I really look up to your. What an accomplishment. We really are warrior women, aren't we? -
Wis Jeannie, where did he do that surgery? I'm sorry for all that you are dealing with, but I hope this puts you on the way o finally healing.
Deblyn...my ps had me on 325 mg iron 3 times a day and 599 mg if vit c once a day for anemia after surgery. -
Debdylan I hope you called your doc honey. That amount of weakness is concerning. They may have to do some work to figure it out but keep on them.
Like so many others (and I apologize if I am repeating myself as I think I've told this before) I take an anti depressant. My obgyn called with my dx ...I have known her for 25 years and they delivered both of my kids. an hour before dx (even thru all of the biopsies and ultrasounds etc) I would have been very opposed to taking such a med (or any med for that matter). Because I am a happy person....I've been through a lot of heartache in my life and I know how to cope very well...I have a good grasp on life, I think...but when she asked if I wanted something to help me deal I said, "sign me up!!!" So she did 20 mg Celexa. I took it every day for a year and I know it helped me cope. After a year my Pcp wanted me to stop so I weaned off but the hot flashes got horrendous. I talked to obgyn and she said that was one of the reasons she prescribed Celexa...She knew I would have hot flashes with chemopause. So now I take 10 mg a day and it does the trick.
I got lucky that we found a med that worked for me on the first try.....I think more often than not it takes a few trial and error runs at it to get the right one. Just like us, each drug is different and works differently for different people. Don't give up...once you find the right thing it's so helpful.
And there are no medals for martyrs!!! -
Bluebird - you sound really good, honey. I am very proud of you. I can't believe they did just a local!!! You get the gold star for bravery today. I know it's not what you ever dreamed of happening...but it sounds fixable. Health first....foobs later. No worries.
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I have not been on an anti-depressant for years, and I feel I have been coping pretty well, thnx to 4years of talk therapy at same time.....usually exercise, and lots of it, does a pretty good job......However, all that being said......I sometimes feel overwhelmed with the changes in my life, and I have considered asking for something.....just because I get SO tired of expending extra energy to feel "up"......so I am considering just giving myself a break, realizing that I don't NEED to be a martyr.....(thanks for verbalizing, Bailey).
Yesterday had pre-op with PS.....looks like he will not be doing LIPO this stage......he will move my foobs a little bit in and up, clean up elliptical scars on them, re-open about 4" of abdominal incision line and add mesh/tie down fascia (plication), and clean up suture line there, as well. I think he is afraid to add any more trauma to my body, based on how it responded to an 18 hour stage 1DIEP.....I would be lying if I said I was upset by this. I did NOT want to deal with compression for lipo with the hot weather here. Would rather wait until Nov./Dec. to do lipo...when nips are done (if I decide to do them....I MAY just tattoo).
Bluebird....considering all you have been through, you DO sound good! Sending you a (((hug))) all the way from Oregon......may you have smooth healing from here on out, and a successful re-do at some point in your future. We are def. here for you.
DebDylan...DID you call PS? -
Ok, I had a few drinks after school today, but I sound like I am in Wilbur land! Let's try this again.....
Bluebird.. I'm so sorry for all that you are going thru. Where did your PS do that surgery? No anesthesia! Wow. I hope you are on the road to good healing.
8 days of school done for me! I'm tired and the hypersensitivity in my abdomen seems worse. I popped some more stitches yesterday and I think I have another inch or so to go....
I'm back to see the PS on Thursday for more debriding and a pep talk on how I'm going to heal eventually.
If this post is messed, it's the autocorrect! -
Ha, Mammalou! I was wondering! You are a superstar for teaching a classful of kids while you are coming apart at the seams. I am feeling more sensitive everywhere, too, so I finally know a little of what you and others are talking about. I hope the pep talk you are given is effective!
Bluebird, thanks. You are a true warrior and survivor for sure!! I am praying for you. I don't understand why your PS did what he did the way he did, but you are healing now and that's what counts.
Movie, I'm glad you are happy with your PS's plan. I am not looking forward to any compression ever! But I know I'll have it eventually. It sounds like you have a good history of taking care of yourself and not being a martyr. I hope you find something that works for you now.
Curlylocks, what a rough road you have been on! I think it's about time you have a break! I hope you get that appt. soon.
Thanks, Cherrie. We had a great day/evening. I was asking where you lived in MI because my kids are at U of MI in Ann Arbor for the next few years. Dental school. -
I was on Paxil and my Obgyn switched me to Effexor to help me wit hot flashed. I don't really notice any difference with the hot flashes.
And for anxiety I take Xanax. They could just give me medical marijuana and everything would be solved !
Just came back from cub scouts and we have two of my kid's friends spending the night here. Omg!! This is going to be crazy!! -
goldie: I did have immediate reconstruction. My TE's were put in with my BMX. Then, when they took the right one out, I had this saggy patch of skin where the implant / TE had been. I had the regular silcone implant on the left for 8 months, then the DIEP. When they did the DIEP, he removed all of the expanded skin and replaced my whole breast with the abdominal skin. My scars are like the outline of a football on each breast, or cat eyes, if that makes sense. It is ALL transplanted tissue. My BMX scars are gone and my expanded skin is all gone. I almost wish, in restrospect, that he had removed both implants so I didn't go through 8 months of uniboob with a prosthetic on one side. I would have just gone flat chested.
sweetpickle: I was on pain meds fo 10 or so weeks as well. My PS, fortunately, did not make me feel bad at all. I too still have some pulling sensation and pain occasionally. Mostly I have that pressure in the abdomen, still feeling bloated. I also have a fluid pocket that swells daily. It is just to the left of my belly button, a few inches above the bikini line incision. It's flat in the morning, then jiggly in the afternoon. It goes away overnight. PS said to wear a "gridle" (Wanna know how old he is?) I try to wear 'spanx' or the equivalent, daily, to help with that.
I have not taken anti-depressants, but I'm pretty sure I should have at several points, and somedays I feel like I should be now. Eh.
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Jeannie, my son graduated from U of M medical school last year! He's in residency here at UCLA, which is wonderful...it would be a long way to fly to visit Aubrey Rose. He and my beautiful DIL live about 25 minutes from us.
Mammalou, I don't know how you do it. Gold stars for grit, girl. YOU WILL HEAL. Trust me. I've had more holes than Swiss cheese in the past couple of years, and they've all closed up. Yours will too.
Bluebird, my PS does procedures frequently using just local anesthesia. He said it all depends on how the patient handles it, but it's much safer than using general anesthesia all the time. But you're right...just the thought creeps me out a little. When my port was placed it was with local, but the anesthesiologist gave me propofol and I snored all the way through it.
Movie, I think my procedure Thursday will be about what you described. I'm not sure about the nipples either. I know I want SOMETHING, but I spent many years of my life trying to dim the high beams a little in clingy tops, and I'm not sure I want to go there again!
Bailey, you're right, there are no medals for martyrs. No one hands us a BC diagnosis and says "no tools, no help, just bear up as best you can." None of us should think that accepting meds to help us through a dark and frightening period in our lives is a sign of weakness.
Urgh. I can't take ibuprofen until after Thursday's surgery and my shoulder's killing me this evening. And I need to practice sleeping on my back. Poor me...
Happy weekend, everyone!
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Jeannie, my firstborn is heading to Univ. of Michigan on Tuesday as a freshman. I'm happy for her, but sad, too. Thankfully it is only a two hour drive. Then 1 week later I have my stage 2 so that should be a good distraction for me!
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in July 2012 I had a bilateral with muscle sparing TRAM reconstructions. I just had my annual physical with regular MD and he says I have a small hernia..not where my PS removed the small piecies of muscle but lower in the groin area. Anyone have any experience with this? Or had a hernia operation. MD says they may not be able to do laproscopically due to previous stomach incisions. Any info would be appreciated!
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Day 9 post op. Pain getting better. Drains are a pest but I hope to get out on Tuesday.
Sending hubby out for bra because the 2 I got before hand are to small;) I look the same size.. But I'm swollen!
Bluebird ((((hugs)))
Deb - my right ankle is weak gonna ask PS .. I hope you call and ask and it's nothing!!!!!;)
Happy Satuday! -
Ladies coming up this week....safe sugeries and gentle healing to you all.
8/26/13 Islandgirl8 (BMX with immediate Diep) UC Medical Center, Cincinnati,OH
8/28/13 sheri47
8/28/13 2timer
8/29/13 sbelizabeth (Stage 2)
9/?/13 tina66Bluebird and mammalou....thinking of you.....Wilbur bows to your courage!!! I am amazed at the strength of the ladies here.
Bailey....you always put the words in the right context...thanks for your posts.
sbe...sorry about the shoulder..thought it was improving???? Soon you'll be popping something for pain again, though, which should put help until you can get it sorted out again. Can't you take something like Advil for the pain? I've got a bag of peas somewhere deep in the depths of my freezer you can have! Are you doing plication too like Movie?
Jeannie...return of sensitivity is a sign of healing, but hmmm...can be "touchy" sometimes to get through...things get better.
kuka....sleepovers should be named something else! And you wonder why you're tired???
sweetpickle...bet you're having another hot shower today!!! Heavenly feeling, so glad it got sorted out for you!!! Now you can go to Bunco without the "troll" feeling!
Cherrie....no need to feel guilty, I only had the naseau and vomitting....skipped the constipation completely....doesn't make either one of us "special"....just different paths.
Hoya..I had a muscle sparing Tram too, 4 months ago. Sorry to hear of your hernia...does your doc attribute it to your flap surgery????
Movie...hike yesterday to Plain of Six Glaciers was wonderful, another mountain fix. Only "poopy" part was there was smoke in the air from forest fires in BC, and it started to rain halfway through, so didn't take as many photos as usual. Fun day though, Ade and I and another friend. Thought of you, wished you were with us. Do you want pics??
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It is not just a dream, or hope anymore. It can be done. Love this story.
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There is more than hope, and a dream. It can be done. Great story!
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bluebird, sorry you had so much pain initially, but so glad it is much improved! You have been through so much! Thinking of you.
Tracy - I should not laugh but I could not help it, thinking of your husband going out to pick up a bra for you. If he is anything like my DH, who knows what he will bring home! Let us know how he does! Glad that you are seeing improvement.
Goldie - that is remarkable. I feel blessed that there are doctors and researchers out there that are working so hard to find ways to make our lives easier and more healthful.
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Good morning, all! Lovely bike ride early this morning, with a shady trail and glimpses of golden sun. Beautiful.
Nihahi, my shoulder was, in fact, getting a bit better (after 5 months of PT!) but the cellulitis seems to have set it back somewhat. It's more painful in its range of motion, and when I stretch it like I should, it just zings. Usually the naproxen I take helps a lot, but I can't take aspirin, ibuprofen, or naproxen before Thursday's surgery; they all increase the likelihood of bleeding. Yeah, I'll be looking for the peas in the mail from Canada. Or maybe I'll just wait for snow up there and come bury my shoulder in it!
I had plication with the first surgery, but I've lost a bit of weight since then, so maybe he'll tighten up my abdomen a bit more. There will be fat grafting to the non-cancer side for symmetry, and I don't know from where he'll take the fat. I have plenty of real estate from which to choose.
Tracy, I'm not sure why you're getting into a bra at such an early stage in your recovery--did you PS want you to wear one? I'm with Christina--if I sent the hubster out bra shopping he would certainly do his best, but I shudder to think what he'd bring home.
Happy Saturday, everyone! Time to get to the housework!
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sbelizabeth - I came out of surgery with one one. I guess it's to hold my immediate reconstruction with my skin all in? I came home with paper work that said only off for shower.. -
Hi girls,
I've been MIA for the week because I worked for DH in his office, and was just too exhausted to come here. Did not read all the posts - just too many - but did read the last few pages.
Many of us are struggling with some form of depression during and after the bc rollercoaster ride, something which is totally understandable. If an anti-depressant is prescribed, make sure to take it for as long as it is prescribed for. Some people start to feel better, drop the meds, and fall back into depression. You don't wanna start and stop, start and stop. Studies have shown that taking it for a year before weaning off is the most effective. I can testify to that. Eleven years ago I had major depression, took one small pill daily for a year, and never had depression again although traumatic things happened in my life since which could easily have knocked me back there, but it didn't. Not even during bc did I ever feel that depression again, and came through it not needing anything. Never even took a Xanax or other anti-anxiety meds when diagnosed or before my surgeries, so it seems that I have somehow learned to handle these stressful situations.
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I feel better just knowing that so many have been helped by the anti depressants, and now when I go see the therapist I hope not be on the defensive, as I am so often. I was talking to my husband this morning, and asking him if he thought I needed medical intervention, and he admitted to being pretty relieved that the PS and his staff brought it up, and he is not the only one noticing I need a little help. He pointed out all my set backs, etc. and said I had every right to feel depressed and a little defeated right now. And, being type A personality just makes it harder.
So, I wil lift my glass of water to you all as I take my first anti depressant ever, when the finally prescribe me one.
SBE...sorry about your shoulder. Just a few more days till you have some pain relief. Hang in there. No tylenol?
Babysitting grandkids tonight. Yeah, and boo. LOL. I am tired.
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Nihahi- I know, its so awesome! I just painted my toes and nails a bright red, even my ugly old half nails where I lost them after chemo! Getting ready for Bunco tonight but feelings a bit nervous not knowing anyone, gulp. :-)
She- I think the hardest part for me now is being frustated that my body just wont do certain things. I often have to sit down while cooking because my lower back will hurt to the point I cant stand, I cant walk for long periods of time and getting up and down off the floor takes an act of congress and we all know how slow to act they are right now.....lol
Mamalou- I absolutely hate that you have to deal with more stiches, pain, etc. You are superwoman in my eyes still teaching!
Picked out a cute top and capris jeans to wear with some cute beaded sandles. Plan to go hatless as I have my whole head covered now, its just super short.
Happy Saturday everyone :-) -
Tracy, I think you and I are at the same stage in our recovery. PS told me no bra for now. Interesting that each PS does things so differently. I still have one area that is raw but home care nurse says she sees improvement. Go back to PS on Wednesday and I do hope the drains will come out by then.
To those of you who are having surgery this week, best wishes. I can't believe how much progress I have made in a few short days. -
Sweetpickle...you go girl! Your outfit sounds very cute! If I remember correctly when you play bunco you have the chance to meet lots of different people, no? I've never played but my mom and her friends used to...always sounded like a lot of fun! I bet you meet someone you like. Have fun!
I have been at housework and school shopping all day....ugh.
Ohmigosh....if I sent DH to buy a bra he'd die of mortification before he got to the women's section. I had to send him for breast pads once when I started nursing the oldest...you would've thought I asked him to run throughout the store naked except for a pink tutu ans buy me breast pads. -
Well, I am just over 3 weeks out and everyday seems to bring another complication. I live vicariously through those of you who have healed successfully and are enjoying life. It lets me know that I too may get there someday!
The wound vac is doing some good, I have some healing but now I also have some sort of " cave" where it is much deeper than other spots. I also have one spot that hurts like hell. I don't really understand all of this 100% but have to believe it will work itself out.
Today's new complication is that the incisions on the outside edge of my right breast have decided to start opening. Nurse isn't too concerned but wants my PS to see it at my appointment on Tuesday. PS doesn't seem too concerned either. Why is it that I'm the only one upset about this?
To top everything off, my house closes on September 3 and Im moving in with family about 3 1/2 hours away. Well now I have to look into some sort of short term rental until my doctor gives me the ok to go. My amazing aunt is leaving tomorrow and my mom will take over for a week. I don't have the energy to deal with much more or even all of this. I can't stop crying today and sometimes I have no idea why I'm crying.
Thanks for letting me get it all out.
Sherry
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Sherry, hang in there. I feel like I'm in the same boat as you. We keep bailing and bailing, but the water keeps on coming in. :-( But as everyone has pointed out on here, we will heal in our own good time. I am so tired of the setbacks, but I know deep down this too shall pass.
Christina, is that your cockatoo? I love birds! I have many birds myself.
Sweetpickle, sounds adorable!
sbe, I'm living life through everyone's hikes and bike rides now. Can't wait to get back outside and active again.
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That's exactly right bluebird! This too shall pass ... At some point!
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Oh Sherry and Bluebird....big ol lump in my throat for you both. It's not fair. And it will pass,of course, it will. But so far it's sucking!
Been sitting here for several minutes trying to think of some sort of sunshine to blow up your a** to make you feel better....but I got nothing
If I were near you I'd be over with wine and chocolate and tissues and a funny movie....and we'd laugh and cry and laugh some more. Hugs, ladies....one sucky minute at a time until it stops being so crappy. It will surely get better. -
Bailey, I love you. I've been sitting here, thinking what possible encouragement I could give Bluebird and Sherry and you said just the right things. We want to help, take it away, cheer you guys up! I'm so sorry you are enduring this c$&p. Mammalou, you, too!
Sweetpickle, so proud of you! You are strong and courageous! I hope you meet someone to connect with at bunco, or several someones.
Tracy, how did the bra excursion turn out????
Cherrie, by the way, I think walking 4 miles is fantastic!
Goldie, thanks for sharing re:lymph node transfer! I guess doing it during DIEP is ideal. Somewhere down the road I will meet with the PS who does it at my hospital. The idea of more surgery sucks right now. I think you are doing the right thing re: antidepressants. I take Trazadone for sleep but it is probably helping my outlook on life, too. Plus, like Liefie, I have somehow been able to cope with many hard things in life. At this age, we've all probably had to cope with hard things! Just lucky, I guess. My faith has helped a lot, too.
I'm having lots of fun with my family but, boy, does my tummy hurt. We're having DD's in-laws over for a BBQ tonight. DD doesn't realize the prep that takes, not that anything but the bathroom got cleaned. She is doing last minute visiting with friends. I hope I have enough energy left to shower and have a good time. I plan on enjoying the sangria, that's for sure. Of course, have to make it first!! Today is our actual anniversary. How did 39 years go by so fast? I was a teenager when we got married! Today is also my 40th year high school reunion. Have never been to one. I am feeling older but, like all of you, happy to be alive and kicking cancer to the stratosphere.
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