DIEP 2013

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  • goldie4040
    goldie4040 Member Posts: 2,280
    edited August 2013

    No word from Bluebird today?  

    SSla, glad that fluid isn't uncomfortable.

    Christina, glad your first day back was great.  I bet you sleep tonight with no problem.Cool

  • marieann1020
    marieann1020 Member Posts: 44
    edited August 2013

    Hi Zoemom,

    I will be having diep on sept 5 @ NYU

    What day is your surgery,

    And where ?

    Anne

  • FierceBluebird
    FierceBluebird Member Posts: 758
    edited August 2013

    Hi girlfriends. Just woke up from a "nap" after a long day at medical center. I'll be going in for more surgery on Wednesday. Surgeon wants to pull everything open to see what is going on. Before I finish what I have to say, hugs to all of you for your support.

    I was thinking there is no way I'll be able to go through yet another surgery. I'm still incredibly painful from last Thursday's incision. I came home to find a package from my cousin who just ran a 20K. His note brought tears to my eyes. It was just what I needed to get me to go the distance.

  • Jeannie57
    Jeannie57 Member Posts: 2,144
    edited August 2013

    Oh, Bluebird, that was so kind of him! I am sending you all the courage I can plus my prayers!

  • ssla01
    ssla01 Member Posts: 480
    edited August 2013

    Bluebird, so good to hear from you. I got teary-eyed when I read your cousin's note. Wow. I'm so sorry that you have to have more surgery. No words of wisdom, just sending cyber hugs and prayers.

  • Zoemom
    Zoemom Member Posts: 50
    edited August 2013

    All

    I haven't posted anything lately but have been lurking. My surgery is Sept 10 and I get more nervous by the day.



    Bluebird - sending positive vibes and strength your way. Hang in there



    Annm1020 - my surgery is at NY Eye and Ear Infirmary. Dr Joshua Levine and Dr Allen ( hopefully) are performing my diep. Who is performing yours?

  • Tracy516
    Tracy516 Member Posts: 183
    edited August 2013

    ((((bluebird)))) HEALING VIBES!!!!



    ZOEMOM !! Try to distract yourself and think positive!



    Surgery was 12 days ago tomorrow! I feel better, no fever and I'm down to 2 pain bills in the day and 2 at night! Think it would be less but for a drain named A$$hole.

    Ouch poking into my flesh!



    I hope everyone had a good day!

  • goldie4040
    goldie4040 Member Posts: 2,280
    edited August 2013

    Zoe,

    You do know you have two of the best surgeons in the country?  I am originally from NY, and my brother is still there, and knows a lot of doctors because of the business he is in.  Anyway, I almost went all they way there for my surgery just because of Dr. Levine.  You are in great hands. We will be here to get you through it.  Keep us posted.

  • goldie4040
    goldie4040 Member Posts: 2,280
    edited August 2013

    Bluebird, that note from you cousin is a keeper. You are blessed to have people who love you so much.

    When I had to go back into surgery a month after my bmx I thought they were crazy, but you don't feel a thing, and when I woke up I was better off then when I went in, and I healed soooo much faster after that.  They will probably clean out all the yucky stuff left behind, irrigate you, and sew you back up.  That's what they did for me, and bam...great healing results.

  • sbelizabeth
    sbelizabeth Member Posts: 2,889
    edited August 2013

    Bluebird, I know you'd rather NOT go back to surgery Wednesday, but this is just a little rinse.  He'll water-pik all that "old period" stuff out of there and you'll wake up all sparkly clean and ready to heal for real.  Sorry you're going through this!  

    What an inspiring and sweet thing for your cousin to do.  You can win this race!

    All the kids were over for dinner tonight, including Aubrey!  I held my glass of red wine and murmured "Towanda" after the blessing.  

  • liefie
    liefie Member Posts: 2,440
    edited August 2013

    Bluebird, you've been through so much. What a kind gesture from your cousin - he loves you so much! Not cool to have another surgery, but if it will relieve what you are dealing with now it will be worth it. Hugs to you!

  • nihahi
    nihahi Member Posts: 3,841
    edited August 2013

    bluebird....you have a wonderful cousin, who recognizes your courage and strength. What a wonderful gesture on his part. So sorry to hear of another surgery, but it sounds very needed, to get you on the road to healing. 

    Tracy....sounds like you are turning "that corner"???? A$$hole has a short lifespan....soon to be no more, we hope.

    sherry.....clean hair is sooooo under-rated!!!!! Good on you, girl.....corner turning day for you too!!!!!!

    christina....wow....you're gonna be tired tomorrow, but congrats on the first day back at work. Glad it turned out so well for you!!!!!

    liefie...woohoo...sounds like yet ANOTHER "milestone" day....I've just signed up for a yoga/pilates class too! It starts in Sept...hoping it's a good fit for me. My iron plate is getting smaller and less solid too, time IS a great healer.

    zoemom....throw your nerves out to us....we get it....! Might help you get through these coming days.

    Hope everyone sleeps well tonight...thinking of this weeks ladies, and those still healing. (((((X)))))

  • Moviemaniac
    Moviemaniac Member Posts: 949
    edited August 2013

    Hi ladies.....jumped on to see if Bluebird had posted........no words - except you CAN do this. Sbe is right, and this sound like my surgery 4 weeks after my DIEP.....they will clean you up, and help you heal, faster. (((((Hugs))))).



    The virtual wine party sounds like it was a smashing success ....... Next time I will try to be there ...... I'll be the DD for wherever you want me to drive you all......I love road trips!!

    Just need to be sure Nihahi has her potato chips!



    Cherrie, I will keep you in my prayers......however, I echo what has already been said-it's probably nothing. I know that I would not react well to hearing such news, either. Sending you (((hugs)))!



    I have a full week......DH has decided to get some landscaping done (after 20+ years) and so I am busy cutting a swath through my front yard.......only have until next Tuesday - then I will be sitting on the sidelines (again) for a while.



    Christina...congrats on making it back to work! You go, girl! :)



    Liefie-good on you ! I detest the iron plate.....downward dog moving into plank, low plank, and then upward dog is still a bit sticky for me...Nihahi....I can't believe you have an iron plate.....you are in GREAT shape! :)



    To all those healing, TRYING to heal, or heading in for surgery this week, I am thinking of you all.....successful surgeries, and swift healing! XO



    Namaste and God Bless - Jackie

    PS: Jeannie....belated congratulations on your anniversary! So nice to have your DDs there to help you celebrate. (I hope Wilbur stayed in a box....... ;D. )

  • Jeannie57
    Jeannie57 Member Posts: 2,144
    edited August 2013

    Movie, you are up late, too! West coast rocks. I had my wine tonight, thanks, and Wilbur stayed hidden as he did during DDs visit.



    I hope you aren't too nervous about your surgery Sept. 3rd! I will be, when it's my turn. This time I hope you heal well with no complications!!!

  • lahela
    lahela Member Posts: 515
    edited August 2013

    Hi, ladies. I've been reading but not posting. I need to get off this post-surgery emotional rollercoaster - 19 days out and every time I see myself, I still burst into tears. I guess I'm not as brave as I thought  Embarassed

    Re: follow-ups - my BS said US only. Lots of them, but no more mammograms. Small mercies!

    A noob question - they're kind of "solid"... not hard, but not soft and squishy. The PT said it's normal and they'll soften with time, and I'm seeing the PS on Friday so will ask her, but I'm wondering about other people's experiences. Should I be massaging or something? I'm kind of scared to touch them because (apart from the freak-me-out factor) I don't want to do any damage.

    Went to Amazon and ordered a couple of those Bali bras you ladies have been talking about - hoping they'll give me the confidence to leave the apartment! Which reminds me - are there restrictions on using deoderant? I know I wouldn't be able to use anything on the node side until it's fully healed, but after that?

  • Curlylocks
    Curlylocks Member Posts: 1,060
    edited August 2013

    Hugs to all those struggling right now...Bluebird no words to describe how shitty it is to have to face another surgery.  Healing thoughts to all!

    Gotta head off to work:)

    Michele

  • Janet_M
    Janet_M Member Posts: 1,068
    edited August 2013

    Lahela - Being brave doesn't always mean being stoic. Tears are ok.

    I'm almost ten weeks out and haven't spent a whole lot of time examining my body. Frankly, I don't enjoy looking at my new boobs. But every time I catch myself in a mirror or start to feel discouraged I remind myself that I'm in the midst of a process, and what I'm seeing will be different tomorrow, and next week, and next year, when I get all the finishing touches. And also - as a friend of mine said - a beautiful boob is a healthy boob.

    At first I massaged them through my tank top. Becuase of the 'freak me out factor' I didn't want to get too intimate. But now I use an gel, so I'm hands-on and it gets easier and easier every time. Massaging my belly and boobs is part of my daily routine. 

    Having said that - I don't know the medical merits of massaging the scars. My PS said that they'd heal without creams, or gels, or tapping. But I think it feels right. I'm a big believer in massage. And it helps incorporate them into my body, cus the poor little creatures were treated like aliens for the first few weeks.

  • christina0001
    christina0001 Member Posts: 1,491
    edited August 2013

    Sherry - that's great that you got out of the house and got your hair done. Hooray! I hope that means you slept well last night.

    Cherrie thanks for posting the info on DIEP follow up. Very helpful. Although breast MRIs are not really much more fun than mammograms IMO.

    Jeannie - visits with family just don't last long enough when they live so far away, do they? Frown

    bluebird, your cousin's note brought tears to my eyes. What a very special person he must be. You are loved! Good luck tomorrow, I hope the surgery can get you feeling better.

    zoemom - September 10 is not far away! The time will fly by I am sure. You will do great!

    lahela - My PS did not mention any restrictions on using deodorant so I would think as long as you don't apply it too close to any incision lines, you would be fine. Thanks for sharing that your doctor is recommending ultrasounds for follow up. I'm going to talk with my doctor about this. I would much rather do ultrasounds than breast MRIs (I'm sure my insurance company would prefer it too LOL). My breasts too are sort of hard right now. They just don't move like "normal," whatever that is. I was told that is normal and will improve with time. I would also be afraid to massage right now! It is all I can do to bring myself to moisturize them. But the skin is very dry so I am applying aloe 2x day, I make myself do it and it is helping that problem. 19 days out - hang in there girl, I think you are close to turning the corner. I started feeling much better emotionally and physically soon after the 3 week mark.

    Well I did sleep terrible last night. Halfway through the night I realized I did not take my melatonin before bed. I knew I forgot something! lol Oh well. I had lots of time to think and realized that while I was tossing and turning a lot, it is more from difficulty getting comfortable than actual pain. Second night in a row that I did not need to take anything for pain in the middle of the night. Hooray!

  • nihahi
    nihahi Member Posts: 3,841
    edited August 2013

    lahela.....I totally agree....bravery and tears can definitely go together!!!! You are so early in your healing, and things really do change for the better, in how your new boobs look and feel. I've said this before, but you ladies who go through the loss of your natural breasts and recon all in the same surgery have the hardest adjustment, IMHO. You are still going through the "loss" while also trying to find "acceptance"....hard steps alone....really hard together. Don't be so hard on yourself...you'll get there.

    christina...just a mention...if your skin still feels "dry" and you are moisturizing 2x a day, you might want to try a different moisturizer. 

    janet...your ps is right, your scars will definitely "heal" without massage or moisturizers...but they will look better and feel better if you DO moisturize and massage. Tapping helps to minimize discomfort and speed up nerve "re-education". I always argued with surgeons who had the attitude of "acceptable" for my patients....I find it wrong to make that choice for someone else's body, why not do what can easily and non-invasively be done to get "the best result possible". (rant over). 

    Busy day today, gotta dash.....have good days everyone. Hugs to all.

  • hrf
    hrf Member Posts: 3,225
    edited August 2013

    Sherry, good for you for getting out and having your hair done.



    Janet, thanks for posting your thoughts about not looking. I thought maybe it was just me. I looked once or twice but they still feel strange and certainly don't look like my originals.



    Bluebird, my heart goes out to you for having to endure yet another surgery. Sending lots of healing vibes and good wishes.



    My left foob is still not healing particularly well so I'm worried. See PS tomorrow. Hope she'll have positive news for me.

  • Janet_M
    Janet_M Member Posts: 1,068
    edited August 2013

    Bluebird - Your cousins' note is beautiful. And you deserve that medal.

    Lahela - It's not just you. I knew I'd been in for a mental adjustment with my new body. I even talked to my breasts pre-surgery to say thank you and good-bye. And I had a little conversation with my belly button too. Broke my heart that I wouldn't have it anymore, as it signified my attachment to my mother. As Nihahi said, immediate reconstruction can often me harder than delayed. It's the loss of the old breasts, rather than the excitement of 'new breasts'. I read that some girls couldn't wait to peek under their bandages, but I waited a long long time.

    I definately feel periods of grief. Maybe it's like a parent watching their kid going off to college. Missing them desperately, yet not wanting to change a thing.  I hang on to an important thought that a friend of mine told me the day my diagnosis. She said 'You are the same person you were yesterday, and the same person you will be tomorrow. And you will be the same person a year from now'.

  • Cherrie
    Cherrie Member Posts: 1,423
    edited August 2013

    Bluebird- what a beautiful note. So thoughtful.



    Feeling better today and felt all of your toasts with each sip of wine. I really did. Thanks for that.



    Jeannie- we just booked our flights to Seattle for Thanksgiving. I have never been there. We will be there from Nov. 25-Dec. 5. You will have to give me the must do's for the area. Is there skiing that time of year? My son said to get waterproof hiking shoes and a waterproof coat for outside activities. Is that correct??



    Thanks everyone!!!!!!!

  • ssla01
    ssla01 Member Posts: 480
    edited August 2013

    Lahela, I am 9 weeks out from GAP. They are much softer now than they were. I can tell there is progress. They are not "normal" soft..yet.

  • Tracy516
    Tracy516 Member Posts: 183
    edited August 2013

    (((((Drains are Gone))))

    So happy! Bye A$$hole it's been real! Lol



    My breast are BIG ! I asked and PS said they had lots of tissue and got me close to my original size! Once the swelling goes down ill be almost the same size ! Still hurts but I'm on the road'



    For all the ladies that are having issues I will pray for you!

  • Sharon1942
    Sharon1942 Member Posts: 272
    edited August 2013

    I think some of you are right that immediate reconstruction may be harder than delayed in acceptance of the new girls. It was almost a year before my delayed uni-DIEP & after looking at an ugly mastectomy scar all that time, I was delighted with my new flesh & blood foob. No longer having to wear a prosthesis was icing on the cake. When the scars fade, I don't think it will look any different than my natural boob. It has always felt like the real one. My reconstruction was delayed because I needed to have chemo followed by radiation. Then I had to wait for the radiated skin to recover. Can't wait to get stage 2b behind me - then it is just the fipple!



    Prayers for all you precious ladies!

  • sbelizabeth
    sbelizabeth Member Posts: 2,889
    edited August 2013

    I'm with Sharon.  I'd experienced the grief and loss with my umx, and said thanks and good-by in the shower the night before that surgery.  Before I walked to the OR I hugged my husby and he squeezed it one last time.  It was hard for me...but the disease within it needed to GO, so I was ok with that.

    The DIEP, seriously, was like Christmas morning.  For almost a year I'd lived with a lumpy, concave, burned, ugly scar, and now I have a soft breast there.  DIEP gave me a sense of beauty again.

  • sbelizabeth
    sbelizabeth Member Posts: 2,889
    edited August 2013

    Hey, sisters, I need your help.  Do you remember I told you I was speaking at a breast cancer seminar in October?  They want a cancer survivor's perspective.

    Of our journeys through cancer-land, what do you think is important to share with an audience that consists of other cancer survivors as well as people who have never experienced it?

    All ideas and suggestions are welcome.  Thanks.

  • Janet_M
    Janet_M Member Posts: 1,068
    edited August 2013

    sbelizabeth - I have about a million ideas for your speaking engagement. The one that tops my very long list is the notion of our life being 'back to normal' once treatment is completed. Our lives our never 'back' to anything. They are forever altered. In the best case scenario our universe is bigger and broader and better for the love we're experienced, and having explored depths we never knew existed.  Our lives may be full and rewarding, but the old normal is forever rewritten. 

    Janet

  • Sharon1942
    Sharon1942 Member Posts: 272
    edited August 2013

    Janet, you are so right. What we are all left with is definitely a "new normal"! As is the case with most life altering events.

  • Jeannie57
    Jeannie57 Member Posts: 2,144
    edited August 2013

    Hi,Cherrie, I would only get waterproof hiking shoes if you plan on hiking...break them in first. A raincoat is a good idea. Sometimes there is skiing by Thanksgiving, sometimes not. There is a lot to see and do here, from ferry rides to mountain sights with Seattle itself in between.



    Sbel, I would like people without cancer to know that not every breast cancer diagnosis is the same nor treated the same. Some treatments are done in a few months, others take a year or two. I didn't know that. Also, a good friend of mine said how wonderful it was that you could be treated for breast cancer and then go back to normal life. Not exactly true! Definitely a new normal with the thought of recurrence shoved down as far as I can push it. On the other hand, I don't want people to forever look at me and see a big "C." As for cancer persons, I hope you mention breastcancer.org, of course! Far better than Dr. Google for medical info and then there is the support in the discussion groups!



    It's been almost six weeks since surgery for me. My boobs bounce when I walk but definitely have some lumps. We are so conditioned to not want lumps in our boobs, it is disturbing to have them. They have healed up well and I hate the thought of disturbing them again for stage 2 but it is necessary. I had a month between a lumpectomy with dirty margins and my BMX. I was able to have a long goodbye with my boobs. I took some lovely pictures. One of my boobs was trying to kill me, though, so bye-bye!!! I was desperate to have my huge, ugly, uncomfortable TE's removed after fifteen months so waking up to new boobs was delightful, as Wilbur can testify!! I feel more womanly again. What is nice, too, is that my husband is excited about them, also. I didn't get them for him, certainly, but our bodies are part of our marriage relationship and I'm glad he is excited, especially after all he has gone through by my side.

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