In shock
Comments
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http://articles.latimes.com/2013/apr/07/opinion/la-oe-0407-silk-ring-theory-20130407
I'm not sure if I have copied this correctly to act as a link, or if you need to just "go to" this web address.
I found this on another thread....I think it is an amazing article!!!!!! -
Hi bennymuffins. I am so sorry to hear of your dx. I know so many women who have eaten healthy, excercised and tried to do "everything right" and still got bc. I am 54 years old, mother of 4, grandmother of 2 and I always told the kids, to eat their green veges...eat your cancer fighters...and who is the only one in my family who gets cancer? Me. We can't change our dx, and we will have good days and bad days and both are ok for anyone to have. We'll have moments of sadness, fear and anger among other emotions including gratitude, envy and empathy. What I did and still do is that during the periods when I am feeling low, depressed negative or angry I try to concentrate on getting through those moments, or just that hour or the morning. Those thoughts and feelings will subside and sometimes looking at the big picture is just too much. Waiting for test results is simply the hardest thing to do. Once you have your results, you can concentrate and work with your doctors on a treatment plan. For now, I know that it feels like you're in limbo or worse. I'm sure you're not sleeping at night and just preoccupied in general. We all know what you are going through and are here to support you and help you through the process. People who have never had cancer just simply cannot relate and oftentimes say things that sound so dumb or insensitive (even the medical professionals). Try to keep busy until you get all your results and a treatment plan. You are in my prayers.
Nancy
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Happy to report that mammo was clear - phew! When the tech left the room, I told her to give my regards to the radiologist - it is a small town, and we all know each other. What a surprise when the radiologist came back with her to tell me himself that 'everything looks good' - did not expect that, but was so grateful. What a nice gesture. He and his team were so kind to me when I was diagnosed - will never forget that. Thanks for your prayers and well wishes, and your presence with me in that mammo room - it helped a lot!
Adagio, I cannot believe that it is taking so long to get your mammo results. Maybe phone them?
Maria, still in your pocket!
Will come back here later. Now off to go visit a friend who became a first time grandma of a baby girl over the weekend. She is over the moon with excitement. Bought her a pink card and pink roses. -
Traii, good to hear from you and that things are going so well. I had to give up bingo because I kept screwing up and embarrassing myself in front of large groups of people.
Morwenna, gorgeous view and I notice there's no snow!
Jenifer, good-bye drains! Yay!! I hear ya on the feeling that we're just on the BC roller coaster and it takes us to places we never wanted to go. It's so hard to not think ahead of where we are, I am there too, contemplating what treatment they'll subject me to if this turns out to be something. I really need a light at the end of the tunnel. This has been a long tunnel and other people got to the end of their tunnels but it seems like mine continues on in darkness. I don't fully understand the difference between the difference hormone therapies but there's lots of stories where Tamox didn't work either ~sigh~ If there's not much there will they opt to NOT give you chemo and just radiation? When will you get the treatment plan? As has been said before many times..... one day at a time.
Nihahi, great article. It's funny that the author is a psychologist. We use those circles, called genograms, in therapy to identify who's who in families and friends for patients. She has really nailed it on the head with the dump in/out thing. I don't know how many times people would phone me and start telling me about how hard their lives were at the moment. Really?
It's still cold here (-7 celsius) and I am bundling up to go for a 30 minute walk after I shovelled the sidewalk and steps. Still no call from the doctor. Last year I had the biopsy on a Tuesday and got the call on the following Monday, so exact same timing except it's Monday now and no one has yet called. Okay, must stop worrying and go for a walk.
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Quick question...... how can a person have chemotherapy over the past year and yet still end up with a new cancer? Is it because it started after the chemo was over? Or is it because the chemo didn't work? -
Hi
,Quick one before this freakin internet implodes ha ha.
Benny, you look fantastic !! Love the ring of fire, everytime I hear that song I have to laugh.Halloween looked such fun at your house.
Dakota, WOW gorgeous curls, even more gorgeous children and doggy. You ARE a super mum. Cockroach needs a white stick and a dog.
Traii, you sound super too. Busy bee.Hope bingo a success, eyes down .
Liefie, so glad mamo clear
how nice of the radiologist to tell you straight away. Nihahi, weather sounds awful, take care when you are out and about.He is ordering the flippin oven tomorrow after I "accidentally" cremated his dinner tonight. Charred fish ha ha. ( devious woman Edi ) but it worked YAY.Patience was running out.
Maria, hope that dream comes true soon, it would be a hoot.
hope all goes well for you too.Adagio, who has passed ? WE HAVE to beat this you and I and Morwenna will have a right knees up to celebrate somewhere warm and wonderful.
Morwenna, good luck with singing, Hawaii looks stunning and rainbow is a good sign.
Websister, loved Halloween story too.
Momof2 and Jackie, keep getting better every day.
Had a glorious day yesterday at Christening of our 72 year old friend, not a dry eye in the church, vicar said first time person he was blessing answered him back ! Mike has had bowel cancer twice, he was told his last scan was clear three days before christening so double celebration. DH and I rolled home full of gorgeous food and a little medicinal drink at 9pm last night.
Today dear friend rang this morning to say she was trapped in her living room, door had jammed. DH jumped into his car, zoomed down the mootorway and rescued her.
She was thrilled and he is chuffed with himself. We then went shopping for a new casual jacket for him, I was losing the will to live before he went and bought the first one he had tried, after dragging me in and out of half a dozen more shops.Pooped.com need a lie down in a darkened room.
Hopefully internet renews tomorrow. Bonfire night here tomorrow, Booms and crashes in the night sky already, some people have no patience.
Hugs to anyone I have missed out, so tired eyes are crossing.
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liefie.....SPECTACULAR NEWS!!!!! Bring on the wedding celebration trip!!!!! fyi.....pink for new baby girls is always OK!!!!!!
edi...glad to hear about the new oven....can't wait to hear about your new culinary triumphs!
benny....that cart has gotten WAY AHEAD of the horse, again...."IT" has yet to be determined!!!! .deep breaths!!!!!! -
Great news on the mammogram, Liefie!!!!! I somehow missed your post and only got the news when reading Edi's post.
Edi, what will be your first meal in the new oven!!!!???
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Benny, I love your Halloween photos! You look so good, so vivacious, really! We are also having a really cold day here. Was going to walk to my friend's house to deliver the roses, but decided to drive when I felt the temp. Brrr! So agree with Nihahi - don't go there before you have to. This can just as well be benign, and then you would have worried for nothing.
Edi, I had to chuckle at your 'inventiveness' re: oven. My mom always said if you are not strong, you have to be clever, and no matter what, it must always seem as if the decision comes from the husband. There are more ways to kill a cat than drowning it in cream, eh? You have it down pat! LOL. Enjoy that new oven - wishing you many happy hours of baking! Story of your friend's christening very touching, and I wish him good health for many years to come.
Traii, so good to hear you are busy with real life again, and doing so well!
Movie you are a little quiet? Aren't you having another procedure done in your recon today?
Jenifer, yayy on losing the drains - now you can move more freely, and recover faster.
Morwenna, I'm jealous! It looks absolutely stunning. Enjoy every moment! Will try to listen to your choir.
Nihahi, yes, wedding fever is taking hold. Stag party went well, and groom still intact - lol. One hears these horror stories . . . They ended up at DD's new house that she moved into on Friday. She would not allow her brothers to drive, and made them spend the night there on the living room couches, fed them breakfast, and sent them on their way. Good girl! -
Happy Monday,
Well the mammo went well, my mo had suggested a ultrasoundbot my mammo look so good I didn't have to have one. I did have a lot of emotion going into the clinic as it is where it all started.
We are expecting snow tonight so I have made a big pot of Chili and banana bread. Comfy food.
Momof2- yippie for drains coming out.
Morwenna- what a beautiful view, love the rainbow. Good luck at your competition
Traii- We went to see Human Nature in Vegas, they are from your neck of the woods. What a fantastic show.
Benny- positive thoughts your way for good news
Liefie- I hope your mammo went well also
Love to all of you great ladies always in my thoughts -
Maria, yayyyyy!!!!! Mine went well - got the all clear too. Yessss!!!! -
Benny....Sweet heart, just do not go there into the darkness. You look fabulous, and there is so much positive energy being sent your way.
My oncologist of course could not give me any answers as to why I developed an ER+ PR- tumor while on arimidex. It is just a new tumor with another personality. But I am glad that I went with a BMX this time, because at least I will not have any more rads or mammograms. If I need chemo, so be it, just get it over with and on with life. I will say this, Benny, this suspicious calcification that was seen on your mammo is no where as involved as what you went through last year. So remember that, and take your tamoxifen, that really is your best friend these days. We will get through this!!! I will get a passport and I will get to Canada
((HUGS)) Jenifer -
Adagio, yes it is Waikiki
Our chorus is called Rhythm of the Rockies.
Benny, hang in there girl! When those worry hamsters are on their little wheel, you can sometimes derail them by the following technique (I just learned it, and it does bring you back to the present and quieten the worry warts)
So sit comfortably in a supportive chair. Feel the support of your feet on the ground, and the chair under your thighs and behind your back. Now look around you and find six things that are blue and red. I usually alternate looking for blue then red, and go on until I exhaust the possibilities and/or feel calmer. As you do this feel your shoulders drop and allow your breathing to become slower and deeper. Repeat as required!
Jenifer, grats on the drains gal!
Love and hugs to everyone else. I'm going down to the beach and look for turtles! *grin* -
Benny, I am in your pockets today. Will be thinking of you all day. Hope you have some reassurance given to you.
Love and Hugs to all....I am off to get my first shower in 2 weeks!
Jenifer -
momof2.....have a WONDERFUL shower!!!! It is going to be such a good feeling to be clean, but make sure to have a nap after, cause you're likely going to be tired. Seriously....get that dang passport!!!!!! -
Hi Bellies!
sorry I have been MIA....went to PS yesterday and got itemized SX list for my stage 2b DIEP.......Nipples, areolas,dog ears from abdominal incision removed, and lipo of stomach and flanks......fun times await me in December! Maybe Christmas will be MUCH lower-key this year!
Benny......don't worry so much...it's wasted energy! We are holding you up in the raft.....lean back, and practice Morwenna's calming technique.....
Mom-glad you got the drains out! Drains are (necessary) pains! Get that passport.....next summer you can drive to PDX, we'll get Edi, and head to Van Island to get Liefie.....then we will head over to Calgary.......!!!!!
Edi....you crack me up, girl! I read your posts, and am usually laughing before I am done! XO
Maria....glad your mammo was "empty" as Liefie's!
Nihahi, Benny....still snowing, or are you getting a break from the flakes?
Dakota....love, love, love your hair! (And what Edi says about the Cockroach......) your doggie is adorable, as are your children. You are blessed in many ways!
speaking of hair....am cutting mine off to pixie length.....Friday is HC DAY!!!!!
Love you all! -
Nihahi....that is so funny...I laid out a new outfit to boost my spirits (flat chest:( ) Got into the shower, awhhhhh, washed my hair, dried the hair....then crawled back into my recliner for a 2 hour nap!!!! So now I am up and dressed, finally! That only took 8 hours..LOL
Movie..that sounds like an awesome plan. I will definitely get on that maybe as soon as tomorrow. Bucket list here I come!
Love to all,
Jenifer -
Benny, you're in the middle of the raft, and we are all touching you . . . whatever happens, we are here for you, friend!
Movie, I really love the itinerary you have worked out for next summer - won't it be fun if we all really do that? So you are getting a pixie cut? It is so easy to care for - you will love it, I'm sure! PS will be doing quite a few things during your stage 2b, eh? Compression for Christmas - let the others do the heavy lifting this year. You will be spectacular once everything is healed up - look on the bright side! My PS wants to see me on Jan. 2, 2014. I will be walking in my sleep from jet lag still, but will go to get the show on the road. Want to be all healed up when my grandchild arrives in March - grandma wants to be able to hold the baby comfortably with no soreness anywhere. I'm also seeing the hairdresser on Friday to figure out what to do for the wedding. Not that there is a wide choice of styles with my hair as short as it is, but hopefully we can get a little more lift and body somehow - lol!
Jenifer, surgery and anaesthesia make us weak, it is what it is, so take it slowly, and enjoy the downtime. -
benny.....hmmm.....no word from you today....do I have to track you down????
momof2....ain't it grand to be clean!!! No worries, girl, next time it'll be much easier...maybe only needing a 1 hour nap!!!! I love the idea of a new outfit...you are one awesome lady!
movie...no new snow here today. Sadly, I missed the heat of the day standing in the checkout line with apparently the entire population of Okotoks this afternoon....so never got the walk to the library in. Oh well, tomorrow's another day....yogalates and the gym. Pixie haircut...you will be toooooo cute!!!!!
liefie...there is nothing wrong with your hair now!!! You look very posh.....stunning, actually!!!! How's the dress hemming coming along??? -
Nihahi, no dress hemming going on yet. Will get on it tomorrow. DS in Calgary is struggling with the South African Consulate to renew his S.A. passport. This has been going on for more than 6 months now, he is flying to S.A. next Friday, and still does not have the passport or a temporary passport. They have requested every possible document from him and from us, we provided it, and still no passport is forthcoming. So we've been e-mailing back and forth today, but don't seem to be getting anywhere. If he enters S.A. on his Canadian passport, he will lose his S.A. citizenship, and this is beginning to look like a real possibility now. He does not want to lose it, and we are at our wit's end. We have heard stories from other S.A. people with dual citizenship that the S.A. consulate is trying to make things as difficult as they can when they want to renew their S.A. passports, and here we are experiencing the very same thing. DS is so discouraged, and I feel so sorry for him. Every time the consulate requests another document, he provides it, then they request another, and another, and another - we have literally jumped every hoop. -
LIefie....this situation makes me think of the conversation we had while I was visiting about the changes going on in SA......I am so sorry he is having to deal with this.....talk about dysfunctional....... -
liefie - sorry to hear that your son is having such a challenging time with the passport office - what a stress for him and you! Is this the son who is getting married there next month? So much red tape!!! Good luck to your son and I hope he is successful in keeping his S.A. Citizenship. -
It's 2 a.m. and I'm just falling into bed, but first I have to tell you guys: we WON this evening!!!
Can hardly believe it. Will have to see of that medal still looks gold in the morning!!!! ;p -
YAY Great News to wakeup to Morwenna....please put your performance on youtube so we can enjoy. What a way to enjoy Hawaii, so happy for you and your fellow song birds.
Liefie...Dang it is always something. I just do not know what to say except I do hope things will get straightened out.
Benny... please give us some news. I worry about you when you disappear.
Too early for anything exciting. Finished my coffee (yummy) , will work on some house chores. It feels great to move around with no drains! Oh, I am going to begin the passport application TODAY, no more procrastination.
Have a wonderful day ladies.
Jenifer -
momof2......see....paperwork for international "movement" sucks.....get the dang passport started, so we can have a get together before we all are too feeble to remember each other! Don't overdo it the chores....gradual increase, not jump back in with both feet!!!!
Edi....you too.....the Canadian Rockies are waiting for you guys!!!!!!
liefie....horrible situation for your son. I have dual citizenship (US/Canada) and sometimes it just seems not worth the hassle to maintain my US. Tax time is SO much fun every year. The worst time was when my mom was having surgery, and I was "waiting" for authorization to enter the States, because as a longtime landed Immigrant in Canada, it wasn't for certain that I could get back into Canada. It got so frustrating, as I was basically caught in the paperwork between 2 countries. I understand your son's reluctance to lose his SA citizenship, but he may well have to ask himself....does the benefit of it, merit the "keeping of it", or is it more of an emotional tie. Is he ever likely to return there to live and work? Does he support the direction and policies of the country. Will their children likely ever go to school there.? My gosh, the stories this family is going to have to tell in the coming years, about this courtship/wedding!!!!!!!
benny....thanks for the email....good to hear you were spending the day enjoying the farm, and keeping busy. Surely you'll get that appt today...if not..call them girl!!! It's doing you no good to endure the wait. -
Passport paperwork complete...documents located...now go get the mug shot....and file the application.
Wow...I actually did something on my bucket list. Thank you Nihahi and Movie for getting my ducks in a row!! For Movie those are UofO Ducks!!! Sure wish Alabama would lose to someone...they are obnoxious, IMHO
Okay now off to get the passport picture. -
Morwenna, congratulations to you and the choir! WOW! I'm so impressed with all of you!
Adagio, yes, it is the one getting married.
Nihahi, you are so right about being caught in the paperwork and red tape between two countries. This is exactly what it is, and we have absolutely no control over it. The S.A. Consul yesterday requested the letters of congratulation that we received from the Canadian government 8 years ago when we became citizens. Why they would want this is completely beyond us, because it states right on that letter that it is neither proof of citizenship, nor an official document. They do have our official proof of citizenship, as well as every other possible document they requested. We have moved twice in the interim, I don't have those letters anymore, and Immigration/Citizenship Canada does not even respond to my requests for copies. This morning I received a snotty e-mail from a woman at the S.A. Consul, and I responded in no uncertain terms, asking them to issue my son with an emergency travel document valid for this one time only so we can sort out this mess when he comes back in January. I'm waiting with baited breath to see what happens . . . it is like fighting a huge, invisible enemy - LOL.
Momof2, I hope you have less trouble acquiring a passport than us - lol. Good luck!
Thanks to all of you listening to my lament - will keep you posted on the passport saga. -
Liefie, I am very unedumacated on politics but is there a 'higher power' you can appeal to, i.e., go over the heads of the SA Consulate? This just seems so unfair that they have that kind of power and are obviously using it unscrupulously.
Morwenna, congrats on the win! Fantastic! Next time we all get together at Timmies we're going to make you sing us some songs!
Thank you for the calming exercise, I will do it.Jenifer, hope this doesn't sound weird but the way you described the shower I felt like I was right there with you! LOL Worth the wait! Surgery behind you and movin' on now!
My news >>>>> BENIGN!!! I'm going out to the farm to celebrate!
Thank you all for the love and support through this ordeal. The raft is a good place to be.
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FOR BENNY!!!!!!!!
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Oh Benny....that is indeed wonderful, wonderful news! Now, go and call the damned mechanic, or do I need to come there from Oregon, and do it for you????????? (I am really really happy for you...been thinking of you every day.....)
Morwenna, congratulations on the win! Well deserved, I am sure! Do you get to relax the rest of the week, or will you head back home? (I hope it is the former, not the latter!) Enjoy a little of that Aloha spirit!
Liefie......I get the feeling that SA is trying to purge anyone with any success, business acumen, or smarts......why on earth would they chase away the best and the brightest????? Not surprising, given the stories I have heard from our friend whose family lives near Jo'berg, or the stories you told me......but very very disheartening to actually see how the new regime does "business as usual". Is it possible they are waiting for a bribe? (Something small, as my DD#3 would say, when she was dealing with the Kenyan Government.) I really hope this works out without him having to give up his citizenship....keeping you guys in my prayers.
Mom, I appreciate the shout out to my Ducks (quack!) They are indeed a fun team to watch.....would love to see them go up against 'Bama.......I don't think the SEC thinks anyone else can beat them.......one of these days.......(I know you're a Bulldog fan.....sorry!) but to hear them tell it, football was invented in the South, and the rest of the country just stinks! All that said, and as much as I LOVE the Ducks......I am actually a bigger MLS soccer fan.....(and the Portland Timbers are in the playoffs for the first time in their three-year history, so I am excited!)
Edi....start saving your British Sterling.......and get your passport......we're gonna make this happen! XO
Love you ladies!
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