In shock

caitlin61

Nihahi and Movie,



Hope you have a grand time together - looking forward to hearing all about your hiking adventure!

liefie

Adagio, DH and I both studied at the University of Stellenbosch, and I have family studying there at the moment - how cool that you will get to experience that town! It is beautiful, and truly one of a kind.

That boy's parents drove to Kelowna today to identify his body. The cause of death is still unknown. I did not get much done today, too distraught.

MariaNL

Hello all of you lovely gals,

Dakota, I to had a cockroach at one time, my kids dad  was very much the same. I decided while my kids were young that we derserved better. It was not easy by any means but I have to say that I made the right decision all those years ago. I now have the most amazing man I get to call my husband. This is what you deserve, and it sounds like you have given all you can to this man, it is time for you to do for you.

Nihahi and Movie- I'm so thrilled for you both to be able to meet up and spend time together.

Movie- would love to be FB friends Benny and I are friends I will look you up. I agree it is nice to see all the wonderful pics and such.

Traii so glad to hear all is well. Family trip how wonderful where are you all off to?

Liefie- so sorry to hear about the young man what a tragedy for him and his family, I can't even imagine what his parents are going through.

Morwenna- go and sing your heart out, you got this for sure

Carlads- good luck on Friday you are in my thoughts.

Edi- So glad everything turned out well health wise for you, what a scare you had. I love the pictures of the wedding, and you look beautiful.

Benny- I love your pictures of your horse what a beauty. I think they are amazing animals.

I finished my Taxol today, 4 doses of Cytoxon and I'm outa there. Finnally recovered from my grannys gone wild weekend, but was worth every sleepless second.

To everyone I didn't get to Thinking of all of you.

Morwenna

Congratulations Maria on finishing the Taxol. Hope the AC (?) goes ok. Do you have to have radiation afterwards, or are you all finished then?



I had Adriamycin and Chloraphosphamide four cycles, then 12 weeks Taxol, and yesterday finished 16 radiation, so I'm all done!!! I just need to get over the radiation effects ..... Feeling rather tight and sore today, but its still a good feeling to be finished treatments. Good luck with the rest of yours! xxx

MariaNL

Morwenna, I'm having cytoxyn by its self. My line up was different I had adriamycin by its self then taxol.



I will have a month off and start rads in November. 2 months worth



12 weeks of Taxol did you have a lot of neuropathy? My arms especially my surgery side have been really numb,tingly and my palms itch slot. That's just after 3, I can't imagine 12

nihahi

Back on the "grid" for a last check before we leave.....Maria...Just wanted to say CONGRATS on finishing the Taxol....You are getting there, girl, we are all doing happy dances for you. You sound like such a special person too....ladies, surely one of us can win a lottery so we can ALL have a getaway together!!!! Love to all, have great, great, grrrrrrrreat days!!! ((((X)))))

liefie

Maria, so happy you are almost done with chemo! Yayy!!!!!!! You have also given Dakota wonderful advice from 'the other side' from someone who's lived her situation, and it is so good to hear that you found love with a good man again.

Had our bear visitor again this morning. DH went down to the water to go ski with a friend, the dog ran ahead, fortunately, and started barking furiously. The bear climbed the nearest tree, and sat there 50 feet above the ground for half an hour. It came down and ran away just minutes ago. Could not believe how fast it climbed  that thin bare trunk to get to the branches, which are at the very top of the tree. Houston, we have a problem . . . lol.

Dakota212

Hi ladies. Thanks so much for the support and advice. It's all true. I just feel like there is something wrong with me. What is so horrible about being married to me. Have fun hiking.

MariaNL

Dakota, it is not your flaws it is his, don't for one minute think you are not worthy there is someone out there who will see that, it may take time but worth every minute.

liefie

Dakota, I have to agree 100% with Maria. Some men should never marry, they don't have what it takes, and he is clearly one of them. You have come through breast cancer basically without his support - to me that just says it all. What a prince! He is the loser, not you. He went cheating and philandering, not you. He made that choice for his own selfish reasons. You are a beautiful, caring, competent woman, and a very good mother. You don't have the problem, HE DOES. I sincerely hope he never marries again, because it will be the same train wreck all over. Don't allow this man to impact on your self-esteem any longer. You are worth so much, much more! ((((BIG HUGS!!!)))) 

Morwenna

Maria,



No I guess I was lucky on the neuropathy front. Parts of my feet were mildly numb and tingly and my balance has been a bit "clumsy". I haven't fallen, but stagger from time to time. That has mostly improved now.

I hardly got anything in my upper limbs, although a little clumsy with fiddly things like fastening jewelry. My nails got very sore for a while towards the end, and that affected function. I was forever bashing my fingertips (go figure!). Now the inflammation has died away, but the top half of each nail is now not attached to the nail bed beneath, so I keep them as short as I reasonably can and have to be careful not to catch and fearful of tearing them off. I now some folks tape the ends, but I haven't resorted to that yet.



It's funny how differently everyone reacts!

bennymuffins

Sorry I have been MIA. Am on Kelfex for an infection in my right hand (likely a cut from the farm) and now am dealing with Johnny Cash and every other cover of that song! Am reading tho' and sending out good vibes for everyone who needs it. Back to the bathroom...... will try to post a better letter later.

scouser47

Hi and a happy weekend to you all.

Nihahi.Movie and Ade, bet those hills are alive with the sound of laughter. There with you in spirit. Chomp on a Tim Tam for me please. Keep safe.

Liefie, bear story so interesting, scarey too.
Your poor friend must be beside herself over the death of her son. Do they know what happened yet ?
You too must be in bits.

Maria, lovely that you got rid of your cockroach and found a good man. So hope same thing happens for beautiful Dakota.
Glad you like pics, once in a lifetime experience taken two weeks to get over the travelling.

Carla, any news sweetheart ?

Morwenna, congratulations on finishing Taxol.

Benny, so sorry to hear of your visit from Johny Cash, hope all stopped now.

Dakota, Liefie and Maria are so right about cockroach. How's things at the moment ?

I am watching a re run of " ROOTS " on TV gosh life was brutal in those days.Have been watching programmes about life here many years ago and we really don't know how lucky we are to be alive at this time.

Have been sleeping up to 10 hrs a night for the first time in years. It is improving things and weariness lifting. Don't want to leave the house though, and as it is raining probably a wise move.

Joy and love to you ALL XX

bennymuffins

Edi, what is your secret on the sleeping? I was awake til 0600 again this morning. I took a few pills and finally slept from 0600 to noon, but feel really weird. The serious lack of sleep is affecting my recovery and every day life.

scouser47

Hi Benny, it wasn't easy to sleep like this but was always knackered and needed naps.
Now just stay in bed and blank out everything in my mind.  Seems to work thank goodness. Still get up for wee 's every few hours but just fall back into bed and drift off.
I too felt like sxxt with weariness and had trouble functioning, it does make a difference when you have proper sleep.
Warm milk last thing seems to help too or better still cocoa or hot chocolate.
You are so busy thought you would just crash out naturally.
Lavender oil on pillow case also good one.
If having trouble I always go to the meadow and never get very far.
Hope something works for you soon, XX

liefie

Edi, yes, the parents of the boy are going through the most excruciating experience that a parent can ever have. They had to drive all the way from Alberta to come and identify his body. I've been thinking about it so much these last few days, and that it can happen to anybody anytime. Just like bc, but I'll take bc any day before I go through the pain of losing my child. They still don't know the cause of death, and it will take time before forensics and tests are finished.

I have been feeling really tired and breathless these last few days. Maybe it is because I started exercising seriously again, maybe it is because of the bad news, maybe my hemoglobin is low again. We were suppposed to go out for dinner with a group of friends tonight, but I did not have the energy, and had been sleeping on the couch the whole afternoon. Getting company for lunch tomorrow - will hopefully have more energy then.

scouser47

Liefie, you are right BC nothing compared with their pain.
Sure this is contributing to your weariness, I was like this for a couple of weeks and sure it was culmination of health worries, feeling bit less tired now but it is a weariness of the spirit more than the body.
So hope lunch company lifts your spirits today.
I spent yesterday sorting drawers out, very theraputic. Upstairs looks like bomb has gone off so that is today's job LOL.
Housework never ends  just want to be here for years yet doing it.Shouldn't complain.
Black Dog keeps standing behind me, every ache and pain sends shivers through me. Hope it eases with time.
It's as if once treatment ends we keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.
DH on holiday for about a month from mid September so really must get away to a different four walls. Staying here so may get to Scotland, my SIL friend owns a B and B which is supposed to be fabulous so who knows.
Supposed to be raining again today, envy you your sun and the lake.
Have a lovely day xx

Morwenna

OMG! I think the rads have arrived in my system!!



Last weekend you might have heard me mutter that fatigue was largely a state of mind, but I don't know if I haven't recovered from climbing that mountain last Sunday, or whether spending 6 hours on a bus to sing in a show in Edmonton last night and consequently not getting to bed til 3 a.m. has something to do with it. But hell, today I slept in until midday, and spent most of the rest of the day on the couch!



I tried going for a walk, but only managed just over halfway around Confederation Park. How feeble. I just went down to the basement to feed the cats, and barely made it back up the stairs! My legs just have no strength again, and feet are really tender. I think I'm about as weak as I've been through this whole sorry story!



Feeling grumpy today!

liefie

Morwenna, I think it is a cumulative effect from rads, and a combo of late nights and exhausting activities. Just take it easy, rest and sleep. Your body knows what it needs, and you are not feeble. You are still recovering from chemo and rads. It takes its own time, and some days we feel just weaker than other days.

Jsnodgrass9

In Shock - I am with you. Actually my pet scans, MRI's revealed no lymph involvement. After surgery, the pathology report revealed just the opposite....15 of 18 nodes are involved. I want my next step so be the right one, but what is that step? I go from tears, to denial...back and forth. Which doctor is the best? Who has the answer?

Traii

Jsnoddgrass9

sorry you are joining us, but glad you have found us!



We have all shed tears and been in denial. Once you have a plan in place with your onc, everything will come together.



morwena boy did u tire me out with your activities no wonder youre exhausted! Hope u have a relaxing Sunday!

Lily55

A key thing to remember is every persons cancer is unique to them and you have the right to choose alongside your doctors, and read info on here about statistics, i never believed it but you will start to feel differently but give yourself time

Dakota212

Hi ladies -

Things at home ok for now. Kids fall sports starting up. Back to 6 days a week of practices and games !!!!

Welcome jsnodd- ask questions, vent tell stories we are all here for you !!!!

Hope the home went well ladies !!!

Talk soon !!! Hugs to all

Morwenna

Welcome J,



It doesn't fill you with confidence does it, when imaging does not reveal stuff! What showed up on my mammogram and u/s was literally the tip of the iceberg that was my tumour. Since most of it was "invisible", I am convinced that something similar could go undetected in my remaining breast, and that's a big part of my decision for a prophylactic mastectomy.



As for choosing "the best doctors/treatment", go with your gut, but do your own research and be prepared for self-advocacy. In the end though, you have to trust that your team know what they're doing ..... Best wishes to you.



I'm feeling definitely better today btw

VintageGal1111

Hello, I just joined today, Aug 19, 2013...having been diagnosed just last Friday.

It sure is a shock, and I am sorry you are here, sorry we had to join this forum but happy that we have this forum to get support and information.

Many of us are on this journey together.

MariaNL

Welcome, to you VintageGal. Sorry you have to join us but glad you found us. This is a great group of ladies.

Feel free to ask questions, vent and share anything you need to

liefie

Welcome to the newcomers! So sorry you have to join our sisterhood, but you will always be welcome here with any question/concern you may have, or if you just want company, or if you feel down or upbeat.

See on another thread Movie is back from her trip with Nihahi - guess she will check in soon. Sounds as if they had a blast!

Good to hear the rest of you are doing okay for the most part, but I'm worried about our thread. It's been really quiet these last few weeks. Are we moving on with life?

This week I'm working for DH again. Today was really the day from hell - computer would not let us in this morning, would not accept the regular passwords no matter what we did, and it was eleven before we were up and running, well . . . sort of. Printer would not print. Telephone would not switch from the message to receiving calls, and it rang every few seconds . . . so very, very stressful for me. The work piled up, and I felt like I was sinking and drowning. At lunchtime went for a walk in a nearby park by a beautiful stream just to escape, get fresh air, calm down, and get back my decorum. A bit like Edi's meadow, I guess. Hope tomorrow is better. I think this is the last time I will do this. DH has such belief and trust in me that I can do it. Hate to disappoint him, but this is just not my thing, and it sucks to feel so stupid and so incompetent. Will much rather handle a high school class full of busy students . . . LOL.

carlads

Hi everyone,



Finally got brave enough to have the CA 27.29 done again. Results the end of the week?



Love to all,



Carla

caitlin61

Praying for good results, Carla - hope you will not have long to wait.



Sorry to hear about the computer day from hell, Liefie - don't you just want to fling them across the room sometimes? I had a day of running around like a chicken with my head cut off at work and really should have worked this evening in an attempt to catch up- but just didn't have the strength to do it. Tomorrow promises to bring more of the same.



I hope our thread isn't dying. In my case, I read practically every day but haven't had much physical or mental energy for posting. Suppose I'm in a post-active-treatment slump. Finished radiation almost 5 weeks ago, then had a couple of weeks of total exhaustion, where all I could do was crawl into bed when I got home from work. Started Tamoxifen almost 2 weeks ago and suddenly felt better up until the beginning of this week - but now I'm very tired again.



Saw both RO and MO in the past week. RO did clinical breast exam and found something in my remaining breast that I have to watch (of course, I'm not even sure I can feel it). MO now says I have to go back on Anagrelide (medication to reduce my platelet counts) plus a full aspirin per day to combat the clotting potential of Tamoxifen, but that concerns me because my stomach still feels a bit ripped up from chemo. Also had a pain in my tailbone that lasted over two weeks - then disppeared - but now seems to have flared up - MO was not the least bit concerned (I have to say I am - just wish it would go away).



Didn't intend this to be one long tale of woe - but it sure sounds like one! Seriously, I felt so much better last week that it gave me a boost - hoping to get back to that.



I really do enjoy hearing what is going on with all of you and will try to ease into posting more regularly.

MariaNL

Liefie, darn technology is always getting in the way of things.

I'm still here and read every day, just not up to posting every day.



My last treatment had me so fatigued I didn't do anything from Friday till today. Today was a good day I've been helping a couple who own a tavern by tending bar. The husband had a surgery yesterday,it felt good to be able to open for them today so they didn't have to worry so much.

I'm a very social person and these last few months have been so depressing because I don't have the energy to do all I use to.

Just one more month and hopefully I can get back to somewhat normal. I'm thinking the rads se's are not as bad as chemo am I right?