The Hermit Club

duckyb1

Cami..........you ok...............Its Ducky.......not Chevy.......LMAO............remember, I'm the old one...............LOL..................I told the Robin story.........and yes, it could have been the outfit..........lol

camillegal

Ducky I'm sorry, I just before I read this changed it, See what Chevy does to me she drives me crazy. hahaha

duckyb1

LOL

Teka

Jazzy, unwinding yet?

dwill

You ladies brighten my day with the funny stories and the friendly bantering.  LOL!

Jazzygirl

Hi hermits! Greetings from CT on a very soggy morning back east. I came just in time for a lot of severe t-storms and heavy rains. But it should be moving through by tomorrow, so they say.

My back was all kinked up from the travel Sunday, but I found a yoga studio in town before I got here so I went to a yoga class yesterday morning and that helped. I also have a suite room and they gave me the "bridal suite" which includes a fabulous in room Jacuzzi! I used that last night and what a treat. The hotel has been good so far, except for the fire alarm that has been going on and off this morning too early. Ugh, so much for sleeping in.

It is nice to be back in my home town, although I realize how different it is now without much family around here anymore. I went to see my parents headstone yesterday as it went in after we were here back in 2012 when my mom passed. I am going back later today to plant some flowers It did not make me sad, because my parents lived out their lives fully. But it does make me miss them, especially with being back on home turf. I know many of you know exactly what I mean.

Today I am having lunch with one of the neighbors from my old hood, and later seeing some old friends at what is supposed to be an outdoor concert but think will be moving indoors. Tomorrow I go to NYC for the day via the train (lets hope the rain is over by then).

More family stuff comes toward the end of the week and then in RI this weekend. 

So doing okay this way and adjusting to the humidity and time change.

Hope you are all doing okay too. Hugs to all my friends here.

SallyS70

Jazzy, thanks for the trip update, so we know what and how you are doing.  Great planning to have a yoga studio lined up.  Hopefully, the weather will calm quickly, but it does not sound like it has slowed you down.

camillegal

Good Morning ladies.

Wow Jazzy just reading u'r post and I'm ready for a nap. U really think ahead and how wonderful to plant some flowers for u'r parents. Continue to enjoy and hope the weather cooperates. It's really chilly here.

Teka

I placed a variety of flowers on family graves for over 10 years, but now just marigolds which do OK.

camillegal

I never go to visit my mom and dad, I just can't---they are both in the same spot, my dad got cremated and asked to be placed with my mom, but at her feet cuz that's how he lived his life and we did.

Teka

I've told daughter that putting marigolds on family graves will end with me.   Enough!

OncoWarrior

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Teka

camillegal

Oh that's a great one. LOL

magdalene51

Hi Hermies. I've spent the last few days in a major pity party. Was very close to deciding to stop treatment and let the chips fall where they may. DH let me know that was not an option. I feel trapped in this cycle, and I'm not good with feeling trapped. And I know that is stupid. I have barely even begun the journey and I want off the train. 

Anyway, I'm past it now. Didn't want to come in here and spew my negativity all over the Hermitage. You all are too important to me for that.

Teka

Mags,

Husband had to encourage me to join the Avastin Clinical Trial.

BC is a beast.

*Hugs*

duckyb1

Mag......thinking about quitting too........your not alone in your feelings........sometimes it just gets you down, and you say............QOL is more important then quantity........my feeling is what fun is waking up everyday to aches, pains, and being able to do  nothing...........imagine getting up feeling good, and being able to be your old self again......we know we are taking a chance, but sometimes living your life to the fullest seems better then living it the longest.........ok, now Im done..............

Lily55

Sorry you are both struggling Mags and Ducky.....did not know you were on chemo on ducky, did i miss something?

Mags you do have the option, maybe if you remind yourself you are CHOOSING this it may help you? Perhaps ally yourself with it as a fellow health freedom fighter?

Lily55

Oh I should add, as you probably don´t know, that I refused chemo..............I know it was the right decision for me

camillegal

Lily I didn't know u refused chemo, but chit if that was u'r decision and it feels right for u, good for u. It's a hard decision to make I think. My mom didn't get it either and she did live another 50 yrs. So who knows.

Mags it's hard to say no to your DH and cousin they want u to do it. But believe me it will go by fster than u think, I know u have other big problems so I would imagine it is harder on u than most of us. It's kind of funny but my GS and I were talking just yesterday about life and things and he said to me "u never have good days" and I said OMG do I complain that much? and he so sweetly said No, u never complain but I see it in your eyes. He really pays attention hahaha to much---so we all have our different faces too and just keep on going, I know I always think this could be worse. So that makes it better.

duckyb1

Lily..........thanks for caring...........you didn't miss anything....your right....I never had chemo.......this is what Letrozole is doing to my QOL.....it is horrible. .......I am 79 and went through the shock, biopsy, surgery, 38 Rad treatments, and had not one problem.....still felt like my same self, and thought.....I'm gonna be fine..............6 weeks after Rads they said I had to start Femara............I hesitated, but then though .........hey, just do it........so I did...........for the first couple months I did ok, gradually each day became a challange.....trigger fingers......aches, pains, ostopenia,  thinning hair, skin so dry even thee best and most expensive lotion could not help.......a month ago neuropathy in my feet.....and now its affecting my shoulders.....on top of that I have Lymphedema.....I have had it.........

I use to drive from Phila. to Pittsburgh every Saturday for 4  years to watch my college grandson play football.....5 hours to and 5 hours back, plus sitting at the game or 3 hours, and dinner for 2...........I was 76 then...........this is not living........imagine this is from one pill taken every night.........I have 2 more years to go................yes, I may quit and take my chances.....how long do I need to live like this........

magdalene51

Today was a better day. No weepies. Cami, I hear what you're saying about what your GS sees in your eyes. I save my bitching for this forum, because it know you understand it in ways that the ones I live with cannot. But that doesn't mean they can't see it.

My son called me today, as he sometimes does when he's on the road on his way to offsite presentations, and we chatted for a long time. When he asked how the side effects were I said the best I can say is they're under control right now. When he isn't at his regular job, he and his wife can be found at their state legislature, where they have been instrumental in getting legislation passed for low-THC cannabis for Dravets syndrome (a type of childhood epilepsy) and cancer. They're looking to expand it to include other illnesses that's it's proven effective for, like ALS. I don't know how you feel about medical cannabis, but I wish it were legal in my state. I would use it. My cousin's mom, my aunt, had melanoma and used cannabis probably the last 30 years of her life, beat the melanoma, and lived into her late 90's. 

Anyway I seem to be back on an even keel for now. Thanks for your patience and TLC. Love my hermits.

Lily55

ducky i felt horrible on letrozole, mega depressed, zero QOL in the end it affected my breathing and i got breathless just walking, even sitting sometimes! So i stopped it for two months, on doctors advice, ALL my symptoms disappeared. But I am 100% er positive so needed something. Exemestane (aromasin) was suggested and I no longer get the worst side effects i had on letrozole, still get some but QOL is a lot better, maybe you could suggest this to your doctor? 

Jazzygirl

Hi hermits- getting ready to head down to the train station and off to NYC. Did not sleep well/enough, so I need to pace myself today and perhaps will head back a bit earlier than planned. A good 8-9 hours in the big apple will be enough.

Went to lunch with one of my childhood friend's moms yesterday. George and I were great friends and he died of cancer in his mid 30s. I have stayed in touch with his mom ever since, and seen her whenever I am back here. We had a nice meal, and I told her yesterday about my BC, but once I had a chance for her to see me in person to know I am okay. She knew I was having health issues and she said "I had a feeling you may have had cancer". She was glad I told her, she is a sort of mom to me in many ways. I know she is one of those people that could handle hearing it and would want to know. It was a good conversation but I chose not to say anything right until the end of the visit. 

Also saw a group of old friends from childhood days last night. Two sisters who I was friends with in grammar school, and one I was BFFs with in junior high. We played flute together in the band and it forever bonded us. I have not seen most of these people either since high school or around town when I lived here in my 20s and went to college in the area. We tried to go to see some outdoor music that moved indoors but the venue was not good, so we came to the bar here at the hotel so we could visit. So fun to pick up with old friends again. I feel all filled up from that visit!

Mags- I am sorry that you are struggling this week. There is a bit of a road ahead of you with the chemo. As some have shared here, they have opted not to do certain treatments and that is a decision for you to make. Be sure you talk to your doctors to have all the best info for what to expect. 

I am with many of you regarding the concept of quality of life being most important. I really had minimal treatment since my bc was so early (surgery, rads and now some AIs for the longer term). Chemo really kicks your butt.

Onco- glad you are on the other side of cataract surgery.

Later hermits. Hug to everyone from the soggy state of Connecticut.

SallyS70

Mags, good to hear that you are back on an even keel.  You will always find TLC here.  We care about you.

Teka

OncoWarrior

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magdalene51

Good morning Hermies. I had cake for breakfast so that's always a good start. My cousin made banana cake yesterday from a recipe of my very dear friend who had BC and is now gone. This recipe won blue ribbons at the State Fair, and it's wonderful and moist and has a cream cheese frosting on it. I think I'll have some as a midmorning snack too.

Jazzy I know you will have fun in NYC because you have the knack of turning the ordinary into adventure and you can have a lot of adventures in NYC. Have a cup of Eight O'Clock coffee and a cheese blintz and a really good deli sandwich and go see the M&M store and the naked cowboy in Times Square. Last time I was there I went to a Walgreen's right behind the big display screen in TS and it was not very big but 3 or 4 stories, with an escalator. Who knew?

Remember, pictures or it didn't happen. Wait, that could be a good thing...

magdalene51

Times Square

camillegal

Jazzy u are so busy and having a good time I just love it for you.

Good pic Mags. I'm glad u'r having a better day and that banana bread sounds so good, if it were laced with pot it would be better. I'm all for it. And yes we do come to the boards to get things out or just say what makes us feel better without hanging it on our families--they really don't understand it anyway, unless they've been thru it, my sister, niece, and cousin have and I hope and pray no one else will have to. And I no longer fight with it I take my pain meds whenever I need them without hesitation anymore. When it's daily u know what it's like and I'm no martyr.