The Hermit Club

magdalene51

Thanks for the reminder, Teka! (I start chemo July 1) Last weekend of my old life. Next weekend I will have entered new normal.

Teka

Teka

Mags,

No doubt will be resting-up from the 1st chemo treatment during the Fourth of July Weekend!

camillegal

Hi everyone--so many are going thru so much and I'm truly sorry that things re hitting u all at one time. And it does seem like it never ends, but Mags I'm glad u do know people it's a wonderful feeling that u know u'r getting the best care u can get. I'm not saying the rest of us aren't but it does help in times of having things done too, u'r taken in right away.

OK now Mags this eek ur starting chemo so u have to let us know how u r doing every day.

And Dwill I'm sorry about all this in and out stuff u'r going thru, it's a PITA ,

And Lily why do u say u have no friends. U just hven't been out much when u feel better they will be there. Sometimes when we choose to be alone people sense that so they don't want to bother you. U'll see.

 

Teka

Lily,

Remember, I kicked a school friend to the curb.

I now turn to childhood friend as a welcome break from BC misery!

I piss & moan to husband & thread members (

You've a long road to travel and need to reconnect with at least 1 friend ;o)

*Hugs*

Teka

magdalene51

I have severed connections with friends, and even family members, when I have found that a relationship is damaging in some way. It's so important for us to contribute something positive to each other's lives, and when that is no longer the case, to let them go, gently, gracefully, but firmly. I know some people find this cold, but I have found that when I have done so, the other person was better off without me as well. Perhaps I am able to do this because of the way I grew up. In a Navy family, moving every few years, I learned to walk away, knowing I would never again see those who stayed behind, or those who moved away first. It was my way of coping. My mom was really good at making friends and keeping them through the moves, but she had that generation's habit of correspondence. 

However, I also confess that I am not a compassionate person by nature, and extremely selfish. With that nature, everyone's better off if I'm a hermit.

Teka

Mags,

I'm more of a loner and will never hear friend say, "here's your hat, what's your hurry?".

magdalene51

(Left you a joke on w&f)

Teka

Sweet Dreams!

Jazzygirl

Hi hermits- had a fun night at my going away happy hour. Couple sunset margaritas, nachos with the group, and delicious shrimp fajitas for dinner. Twenty signed up but only 8 came, which was fine by me. I don't really care much for large group things anymore. 

I went to the eye doc for my annual exam yesterday. I was concerned about my eyes with the diabetic spike last fall (since turned around with diet and exercise) as well as impacts from the anastrozole. Eye doc said everything looks good, no signs of cataracts, glaucoma, etc. I have another test to do in July to check something else that has been there for awhile and is just watched around my peripheral vision. I was relieved to hear my eyes are good.

Mags- I hope you are getting rested up and healing and getting ready for chemo. How are the incisions, lumps, etc. doing?

Teka- what is blooming in your garden?

Cami- how is work going, are you busy?

Lili et al.-okay, on the subject of those disappointing friends, I came through a valuable lesson on my recent trip to Aspen with my traveling companion. I realized once again it is really important to know what your needs are in any situation and what the other person is capable of. Lots of folks are just not capable or interested to show up for others in the ways they need. So you are better off seeing that and moving on to folks who can connect with you in meaningful ways. Like many here, I don't waste my time with people who just want to dump, use me up, avoid me if I have problems, etc. Once I know the way someone is, I just decide if it is something good to have in my life or not. We don't have to say yes to everyone who wants to be our friend (and yes, I used to and paid dearly for that). I am far more selective these days where I spend my time, and move towards things that build me up vs. tears me down.

I also don't talk about my bc stuff anywhere but here or with my sister (who also went through treatment). I am thankful for this place where I can talk about it in a world where no one really wants to hear about all we go through short and long term. Folks just can't relate or are scared of the whole thing.

Hope everyone has a good weekend. It may hit 100 here today 

camillegal

Yikes 100 oh that's way to hot and it looks like rain here, well I'd rather have rain than 100.

As I've said before I have been so blessed in my life with my friends, I still have the same ones forever and we all really love each other. Remember for Mother's day my kids went to their in-laws and I wanted them to go and I called my GF and I had tht day with her family, she picked me up and drove me home--I'm very comfortable with all my friends so I've been lucky.

Well I hope everyone has a great weekend and feels decent.

camillegal

 now this looks friendly to me.

Teka

WELLLLLL, I'd also be friendlier if sloshed on some of your melon booze!

Jazzygirl

Cami- you party animal! That looks refreshing!

Off to aqua zumba, need to work off the margaritas and nachos!

SallyS70

Aqua zumba sounds like something I might like. 

OncoWarrior

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Teka

Sorry, I was to slow for the game!

Jazzygirl

magdalene51

I had very close relationships with two of my four sisters. One of them had lived nearby since 1986, the other lived in various other places but came for long visits. Three years ago the one who lived here moved to Alaska. A year and a half ago there was an incident, the details of which are irrelevant, but which involved both of those sisters, which showed me that they really didn't consider me very important at all in their lives. I decided that I no longer needed to maintain contact with them. We have nothing in common, they were (tbh) a drain emotionally, physically, financially, and mentally. My husband and I had taken in their children when they were in trouble, one of them wouldn't have finished high school without us. So I actually feel a sense of relief to not have that drain. 

I had a friendship I thought would last for a long time; last winter we had a text conversation in which she accused me of trying to make her look stupid with a comment I made on her Facebook post. My post was a simple statement of fact, not controversial in any way but she misinterpreted it and attached it to her preconception of me as a person who would deliberately put someone down in order to make myself seem superior. In fact I had suspected that she thought of me like that underneath, but I was willing to overlook it for the sake of friendship. But after she outed herself in that text message, I couldn't pretend any more. She's tried to contact me a few times, and I finally just told her to leave me alone. 

Teka

Teka

magdalene51

I would also add, "Thinks highly of you."

Teka

Jazzygirl

Good evening hermits- went to dinner with a work friend from the client site (we have known each other for years) as part of the end of the contract celebrations. We both had the most DELICIOUS fresh greens salad served with strawberries, almonds, chevre cheese and topped with two grilled scallops. One of my favorite restaurants in town and also one of the BEST salads I have ever had. 

Teka

I bet delicious!

Lrp63

Hello to all,

I am a newbie from California.  Just finished fractionated radiation for b/c.  I had to drive 1.5 hrs one way to radiation everyday and had offers from family and friends to take me. I just got tired of rehashing the same b/c topic everyday and quite frankly just tired of talking about it, so I ended up going by myself as much as possible. Now that I'm done I am really tired and just want to stay home everyday. I think my poor husband and daughter are tired of being my sounding board, so I am thankful for this thread.  I do take zoloft for anxiety, but since my radiation finished, I have started having twitching and jerking throughout my whole body.  Has anyone else experienced these side effects, and if so, how long did they last?  Of course I start to think brain tumor, ALS, or other horrible things.  Thank you all for your help!  Lizzie

magdalene51

Hi Lizzie!

Welcome to our little hermit hole! I have been a hermit since childhood, the dx just sent me deeper into hibernation. I live with my DH and my 77 year old cousin, who is really our caregiver. DH works really hard, my cousin does all the shopping and cooking and drives me to appointments. I start chemo Tuesday, and DH has taken the day off to be with me.They are my support system.

But I would be lost without the hermits on this thread. Especially Teka, who runs the thread and always has encouragement and uplifting, humorous posts for us. Hang around and enjoy the fellowship.

OncoWarrior

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Teka

Lizzie,

Welcome!

Please read on-line the side effects of zoloft.