The Hermit Club

dwill

Oh I've been such a hermit this weekend!  Stayed in bed all day Saturday--even breakfast and dinner in bed.  Went to church on Sunday and came right back home and back to bed.  Not looking forward to leaving this bed to go to work tomorrow--but I guess that is a good thing or else I might become on of those hermits that you see once a month.

camillegal

Dwill u'r funny. except for last nite I've hardly moved plus it's raining and cold again. LOL

dwill

Cami--isn't that why we are called hermits. Now that I got use to living alone after the 30 year marriage and divorce, I tell my three grown sons and stepdaughter--to take care of their business because now that Mama is living alone--there is no one moving back in. They will not give their house keys back so I put in an alarm system--of course they had fits until I gave them the security number but I have my ways--Hee-hee!!  My youngest son whom talks to me like he's MY daddy and worries about me the most told me I was selfish because I have a whole house to myself and all I want to do is be alone to do my things.  Well I told them they only want to visit when it is convenient to them and it's mama time now to do what I want.  I wonder if it as hard for the other hermits in defending their ME time.   Of course, we do have wonderful holiday times and my youngest son and I have dinner about once a week, my oldest son calls once a week to tell me,  "He is checking on me"---Haha! and my son, daughter-in-law and 2 grandkids in Virginia are waiting on me to visit this summer.  My daughter-in-law wants me to stay my whole summer break--no can do, but I will stay a few weeks.  Well, I am thinking about not doing Easter meal for the first time in 30 years,. I can do Boston Market and have the day to myself.   I think someone is going to be upset. 

Teka

dwill,

You've adjusted to being alone, which would be scary for Me come bedtime!

Jazzygirl

Dwill- I think everyone around us has to get used to the fact we don't do what we used to do, and perhaps sometimes are not as social as we used to be. I am single and live alone, so I have less pressure than some who may have others that live with them.

I had a whole weekend of time just to myself this weekend and really enjoyed it. It takes a lot of energy to get through a work week (perhaps for you too?), so having downtime on the weekends is a good thing. We are different people now.

blondiex46

exactly Jazzy have alone time for me is usually spent trying to recuperate from just walking around....I am glad you had the to yourself....

DW...the kids dont get it....my oldest calls about once a week (he lives 10 min away) to :"check on me" , my oldest daughter texts me (she lives about 1/2 away) to see how I am...my youngest daughter calls everyday and was just told she was going to the drs. with me on Wednesday, I never ask them for anything, I go by myself to chemo and the drs, unless a friend of mine can go...I don't like bothering people even my kids, unfortunately I am very independent, almost to a fault...I am right now in my room hermitting cept for grandchildren are here...I have to take George to the drs. in 20 min then I will come home and hermit some more..I am attached to oxy, hate it... is

Thanks Cammie.....it is a new week, how long can CAmmie AND Chevy stay out of trouble!!

Happy Monday, what is everybody up to..

Sandy

dwill

Blondie and Jazzy, my kid who calls to check on me once a week lives only 10 minutes away, also. I think he feels guilty for not visiting but I like to be alone most of the time anyhow so he shouldn't.  I will say he is good and will come drive me to the doctor if I ask.  My youngest son wants to hear I am doing well all the time--he rather think I am not sick so if I am not up to dinner or sitting around watching television with him he gets upset. If I need a ride to the doctor he will tell me to ask my oldest son or a friend.    My middle son who moved to Virginia is waiting on me to visit him and my step-daughter decided to move back to Florida on a whim--two days before my exchange operation while declaring how much she loved me.  She did not even call home to see if I made it through surgery and has only called me twice since November..  I love my kids but they don't get it.  Neither do some of my friends--it like some of you said--no one truly understands what we are going through,  My BFF practically begged me to go to this Bar birthday party for another friend when I was hurting so bad I could barely walk; I was nauseated, had cold symptoms and swollen lymph nodes and her response to me was if I would go --she would drive,  I have had to turn down many  events, holiday parties and other functions my friends or family have had--just felt exhausted--or too sick. They don't realize how I am feeling.   Of course, I am always being told I look well.  I guess that means--well for having Cancer.  Can't help but love them though and keep doing what ever I have to do to get through.  It is funny that you guys on BCO understand me better than people I've know all or most of my life.  Love and Hugs!

Jazzygirl

Jazzygirl

Good morning hermits- I continue to educate my family and friends on what I am able (and willing to do). Because I have always been a girl on the go, doing lots of social events, going to visit people who ask, etc., people have come to expect that of me. Now I pick and choose what I want to do and what I think my body can handle.

Many of my friends and even extended family don't know I had cancer either, I kept it very private so they are not even aware of the changes in my life. I told the ones that matter, the ones I could trust, needed help from, etc I too have people who act like I should just be "over it" and back to normal. I keep my distance from them now.  

We are all a reminder that anyone can get cancer. I have friends who say "I am so surprised YOU got cancer because you have always been so healthy, eat well, exercise, take such good care of yourself." I told them because I am healthy and strong, it helped me to get through this and be able to resume a good quality of life after the fact. But I also say "you are not the same after all this". Some try to understand, others prefer denial, others try to resolve the whole thing in their minds about why you got it in the first place. 

That is what is so great about bco and all the cool threads here. It is a place to talk about the things no one else gets!

blondiex46

Agreed

OncoWarrior

.

Spookiesmom

Hippdy hopped Santa Bunny is coming to town?

camillegal

Our snow just melted but still cuddly cold and stayin in.

Jazzygirl

Hi hermits- I heard it was snowing in various parts of the east coast from friends, mid west too. It snowed here in NM on Sunday to Mon but probably nothing like you guys had. I know you are sick of it. Winter go and stay away!

I am mad at myself this evening. I was invited to something at my client site by some folks that include my client for Friday evening at a local brewery. I was told it was a couple of us getting together late afternoon for a few drinks. At first I said I couldn't, then moved a massage around to another time in the day to be able to go. Something I could do since I took Friday off. Then one of the women told me after I confirmed I could make it that the client was bringing her husband and small children to happen hour.  

What is difficult about this for me is that this is often what happens with this client. She invites people to something or accepts an invitation by others and then invites her husband and kids, or other people. One time I invited her to dinner for her birthday and I guess she told some other people in her family about my invitation and the next thing you know, about 8 other people invited themselves to this dinner. You sort of just have to know that if you invite her to anything or go to anything she initiates, her tribe is coming with her. I just forgot as I had stopped going to these types of things.

As you know, I am not someone who enjoys going out with lots of people in situations that feel like too much work for me these days. Part of the new me. So I think I have two options for friday, to either just stop by this event for a quick hello, or just opt out and say something came up. 

camillegal

Oh Jazzy that's kind of tough--cuz u really hate to get all ready to go for a stop in (well I do) Well I know I would opt out, but u'll figure out what's best for u. And I understand that feeling now, so I can't help.

Spookiesmom

Sneeze on her and say something came up. Sounds like she has a LOT of nerve!

Teka

Tonight, snowing on my crocuses that are just starting to bloom.

*Jazzygirl*

Hubby, surprised Me with daffodils & ------------

dwill

I think our weather is taking a turn.  It was 31 degrees this morning and we had snow flakes and ice, yesterday. I had a a hard time deciding to wear my warm coat or a spring coat.  When I got to work today--at 31 degrees-- I couldn't believe how many kids walked into school in shorts, t-shirts and sandals.  I guess they are not turning back on Spring no matter what the weather.  Was glad i wore my Spring coat--didn 't want to look like an old fart bundled up for Winter.  Tomorrow, our weather is suppose to be somewhat better.  Heck, I might even wear my sandals to work.     

Teka

No sandals for Me.   Brrr!

Rainonme

Hi Teka,I am also from Essex county .I just actually came to this site recently.Always just searching for answers.Was just about to leave this site.Alot of very old discussions.Some info tho.Best of luck to everyone here.Going back in hibernation!

camillegal

Rainonme I hope u don't leave--we can be informative but sometimes we just need clear understanding and like to rant or just talk, it's relaxing with nice people.

Teka how sweet of u'r husband--u lucky duck.

Dwill sandals yesterday--Oh it was cold, just  plain cold out. I think Spring is postponed a little or we'll just go into a humid, hot summer. Blah

camillegal

Happy Day

Jazzygirl

Good morning hermits- snow, snow go away!

Teka- how lovely you got some daffodils. One of the best flowers in spring! 

Cami and Spookie- thanks for your feedback. We used to be friends but she has just been too much the past few years with these behaviors, so I have tried to just keep the relationship mostly professional at this point. I need to just keep in a good place professionally for the reference. I am leaving this contract in a couple months and don't plan to return to this client site again, so a gracious exit is my focus now.

Rainonme-welcome to this thread. Nice folks here where we can share, rant, get support, have a few laughs. It is a non judgement zone and hope you will feel free to stay here and join in the conversations when it works for you. We get the need to hermit here too.

Weather here is warming up after the cold snap. I am anxious to wear sandals too.

Have a good day hermits! Off to the fun house.

Teka

Rainonme, Welcome!

This slow paced thread is perfect for members that feel the need for a little hibernation from *whatever*.

Jazzy, yes, for reference!   *tribe*

Teka

camillegal,

Sunny 26*F with snow covered crocus blooms!

duckyb1

Rain..........glad to have you.......we don't always Hermit.............its a fun bunch.........who do look out for each other.................your gonna like it here..............

Rainonme

aww..thank you all..I am glad I decided to pop back on this morning..I was surprised and happy to see your messages.

camillegal

We're glad u came back too. Rain

Spookiesmom

Rain, please don't go away! Welcome!

Dwill I used to be a school bus driver, you are so right about the way the kids dress, or not.id look like Nanook and they wouldn't even have a jacket. Gotta look cool for school!

dwill

Bringing Spring back--wearing my sandals, today!   I'm looking cool!!    Br-r-r

Rainonme--love the name!  Glad you decided to stay and become one of us!  Welcome! Glad you decided to become one of us!