The Hermit Club

Tomboy

....hey women! i am doing the very same thing, organizing and putting things in bags that have outlived their usefulness to me, can i throw in my breast surgeon? just de-cluttering ,and catching up on 3 year old chores, by now. wow i cant believe that it is getting so cold for some of you, please stay warm and comfy inside and safe if you don't have to go out. went to the open air veggie mart, walked there and back one mile. folded one load of laundry, and basically puttering. made a nice breakfast for me and my man today, and am keeping up with my journaling on paper. but always come back to hear how every one is doing, and happy it is saturday. i did buy a great lipstick for myself at sepphora(i loooove color!) and some epsom salts for my bath, good for softening skin if you have hard water, and good for achey bones and muscles too. met my endocrinologist yesterday, she was great, and was the first person who talked with me about good things for women with osteoporosis to eat.Thanks arimidex! no drastic measures like another drug yet, though. hope everyone has a great first saturday of the year!

grammaB

Sally, the bad weather is skipping me this time around.  I would like some snow here though.  Hope you found everything you needed at WalMart.

you too blondie, hope you got out and back home safely with your fast food!

Jazzy, love the kitten in the snow!!  Man, do I need to get some home organizing going!!

I used to order from Talbot's catalogue many years ago.  But that was when I was working in an office and needed "dress up" clothes.  

cami, you're pretty funny too! 

Lily, glad you were able to get one thing finished that was causing you stress.  Every bit helps.

dutchiris, who says you don't belong there?  Get yourself somethin pretty!

Wow Paula, you were a busy little beaver!!  Hope you are able to make it to church tomorrow!

Jazzygirl

Cami- I got a lot done around home today, even got a small part of the garage reorganized as I put away the Xmas boxes. But at the end of the day, I am pooped and opted out of going to the gym this evening as I was planning. Got plenty of exercise with all the stuff I had to move around today. Tomorrow morning, I will go to yoga once I am rested up again! 

Now I am relaxing this evening and will take an epsom salts bath with some lavender oil tonight. Maybe a nice lit candle too. It will help me to sleep well again tonight. Not having the on again/off again schedule with go live days and mid week holidays is helping. Three days off in a row feels almost like a vacation! 

Hope everyone is faring the storms and cold weather. Be careful any of you with breathing issues as that cold air can be very damaging to the lungs. 

Teka

Jazzygirl, just finished a soak in the tub, and now ready for lemon meringue pie with a cup of tea.

I'm looking forward to a good night's sleep!

dutchiris

I didn't buy anything but I do still smell like the perfume my daughter sprayed on me.

Anonymous

Cami, can't say it took a lot of energy to do my errands. I used drive thru at the credit union, rent, & water bill, both went into drop boxes, grandson went into the library for me, I used an electric cart at Walmart (I hobble with a cane) and I only needed 5 items from Aldi, so the only energy expended was driving. He carried the groceries, and I put them away. Easy peasy.

Paula

Teka

dutchiris,

I remember the time when daughter was a child and told a lady trying some fancy perfume, "smells like tree bark".   She got pissed off and left the store when her husband started laughing.

camillegal

Teka I love kids and what they say to people hahaha

OK Paula now I'm really proud of u for making it all so easy. That's my way of thinking

Jazzygirl

Hi hermits- how are my cold and snowy hermits doing today?

How is Lily today too?

camillegal

Jazzy this could be  place to go skiing for once--It hasn't stopped snowing, inches upon inches.

LILY how are u doing.

Lily55

I am feeling guilty as I am so miserable, I HATE myself, hate my flatness, feel the way I did 18 months ago, back to feeling hugely envious of women with two breasts, its like being punched in the gut just seeing them, I feel soooo abnormal and every time I think of going anywhere my first thought again is, can they tell, how can i do this as a freak etc etc....and if i dont want to be a freak how can i ever find the courage to risk my life again???  Pathetic, I cannot even have a mirror in the bathroom, its not about vanity its about how i feel. soooo not normal, i know I can disguise it but what if they  find out, I cringe going to doctors or nurses, I cringe being seen or found out, I do not feel ok in myself

Teka

Lily55,

Make a copy of your post, and take to your next doctor visit.

May help to open up a discussion on how you feel about body image.

*Hug*

camillegal

OMG Lily I feel so bad for u--u wouldn't feel freaky in my family, my mom, sister, cousin and niece and me are all deboobed. Maybe cuz I grew up with my mom being like that it was really nothing to the rest of us. IDK but it has to be awful for u because there are so many of us and the Drs. surely don't look at u as odd in fact some of them are admiring the work done, truly all my Drs. have said it's a beautiful job. like I care--I don't even wear  bra I do wear scarves sometimes and that covers things a little. I just wish u could see u as the beautiful person that u are, it doesn't have to be physical it just is. My whole family doesn't feel any different with me, my Kati-Kat is still all over me--we haven't really changed, just some minor adjustment to get rid of this awful disease. There is nothing magical that I can say, u have to see and feel it for ur'self but u'r not a freak, u'r a brave woman, tht has been thru lot and it doesn't end immediately, but u'r here now t this point, it's a bad hump but u will get over this--u'r beauty is deep let it come to the surface and u'll see how much better u will feel. 

Spookiesmom

Well said Cami!

Teka

Jazzygirl

Lily- my heart goes out to you. The lost of your breasts has really been so hard on you emotionally.  And it is for for many women. I did not go the MX/BMX route, but my sister has an MX, and was very quick and decisive about it. She said she has no idea how she was going to feel after the breast was gone. It was far more difficult for her emotionally than she could have imagined. And perhaps that is true for you also. And Teka's suggestion of bringing your post to your doctor at the next visit may be a good way to discuss this so you can find out how to get some support around this. We are here for you in all the ways we can be. 

Cami- if I were there I would break out the cross country skies and/or snow shoes! Sounds like a lot of powder your way. 

Teka- did you get to the breakfast this morning?

We got a touch of the cold front here. I was out early this morning to the gym for a yoga class and then some grocery shopping. Been home since working on cleaning, organizing and cooking. A dish of chicken parmesan is under way. Got a massage in a few more hours, been three weeks since the last one and looking forward to it! 

I have had three really good nights of sleep. What a joy.

Lily55

Thanks but there really is no support here..........they told me i had cancer then 3 weeks later gave me a leaflet on how i might feeling hearing i had cancer.......!  There are no breast cancer support groups only a group that calls itself "mastectomized women" and poses for photos on local newspapers.....like i am going to go near people with that level of sensitivity....................over here you often see people with a limb missing and no one worries about prosthetics, its a primitive mindset to me............I dared to tell a nurse how i felt and she just tutted and said be positive and there are great prosthetics, you can even go to the beach and be normal................not true!

I spent a year looking for support groups, nothing, remember i am a minority immigrant here, different culture.........

Anonymous

Church was awesome today. Afterwards our usual small group went to O'Charleys for lunch. I tried the Cajun shrimp & andouille sausage, & veggies, over cheesy grits. It was wonderful! We stopped at The Anderson's General Store on the way home to get DH a pair of Carhartt Safety Toe boots for work. What  a great deal! They were $119, and we got them for $39.99. Now it's NAPTIME!

I'll be back lat. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

dutchiris

Lily,

I'm not as good with words as some of the ladies here but I want you too know I care.  You are not a freak.  You have been through alot and have more going on now.  Be gentle and kind to yourself.   You are in such a difficult place but it will get better in time.  During that time, keep talking here and let the doctors know how you are feeling.  Sometimes it seems they need to hear it more than a few times.  The nurse's response to you seems dismissive of your feelings.  I would guess she didn't mean it that way.

Teka

I enjoyed a good breakfast then returned home for a long nap in the recliner.

Wish I could've been at O'Charleys for lunch!

Jazzygirl

I saw this on FB and think it is very powerful. Particularly for those here who struggle with the changes to their body. It will lift you up.

http://www.upworthy.com/i-bet-these-people-never-expected-to-be-models-but-the-results-are-so-gorgeous-2?g=2&c=ufb2

Teka

Thank You!!

duckyb1

Lily......where are you from if I am not being too personal.....do you have family...if not, let us be your family.......we share pretty much everything here, and are all hood listeners........Hell...sometimes we even come up with solutions........

We can be your support group......your reaching out by just posting here, so keep coming back...we are here for you....

No advice, just honest love and caring......you can do this, with a little help from your friends.....US......hugs

duckyb1

Jazzy beautiful........I had a poster in my home when my children were growing up...it was  a picture of a little boy, and the caption said.........I MUST BE PERFECT, CAUSE GOD DON'T MAKE NO JUNK.......he was in a wheelchair..........so you are only as perfect as you allow yourself to believe you are.......

I have have twin great-grandaughter's......one is perfect.....the other one can't sit alone, can't stand or walk, but in my eyes she is perfect....maybe not her body, but her beautiful face, and soul......what she lacks physically......she exceeds mentally.......

The people in the video were amazing....thanks again...

grammaB

Lily, I am so sorry you are having such a difficult time with this.  I wish there was more we could do for you.  Just know we are always here and will listen whenever you need to talk. We want to be your support group.  Sending prayers and healing energy your way.

cami, and dutchiris well said.  

Paula, score on the work boots!!

Teka, glad you had a good breakfast, followed by a nice rest in the recliner!

Jazzy, that was beautiful! I loved how the models embraced their manikins! 

ducky, what a great poster!  You are so right, the true perfection or beauty lies within us in our soul/spirit/heart, not in the outward appearance of our body.

Hugs

Anonymous

Wow, I didn't go down for a nap until almost 7 pm....back up at 9 pm. Didn't rest very well. I'll make up for it tonight. DH & I watched the Mentalist and he went to bed. I'll have to stay up until at least 2 or 3 am.

I'm praying our electricity doesn't go off. I can hear the winds roaring outside. They had already decided this afternoon to close all area schools tomorrow. That's almost unheard of around here. All of the snow melted today from all the rain we had. Now we have a snap freeze.

This is my Gus. (Above) he's a Red Pibald Mini Daschund. He loves the Mama.

Paula

grammaB

Aww Paula what a cutie!

Lily55

i agree its not what you look like that matters and i have learned to dress to disguise so i am sure no one can tell by looking at me when i wear prosthetic BUT. Its about how I FEEL in myself, I do not feel normal or ok and have had to change how I dress which also does not feel like me but my old way (not flashing cleavage but wearing loose tops) is no longer available to me. I know i sound vain but its not that, i am hardly a glamour puss, its shame , embarassment, fear of pity, and total not ok ness with my body.  I never go naked even in my bedroom now, never let OH see me, and just cringe every day at habing to deal with myself

camillegal

Hi Lily, u know some of us have had to change how we dress, I know long wear V-necks which were my first choice in every top I had cuz they were the most comfortable, now I have to think about these tops and can't feel the way I used to but I found new ways to wear tops with disguise, but it is different for me cuz I don't mind that I have no boobs, I really don't miss them or feel anything about them being gone, so it is different for me--I think if I had a DH or partner I wouldn't feel comfortable showing them but who knows, We all look at our circumstances differently, I look at it as the choice I made to survive, it gives me much more time with my family and friends so how I look is the price I paid and it means nothing as long as I'm still here. Each life is precious, but sometimes it comes with a price of something and I feel it such a little price to pay to stick around longer, but I know u haven't gotten this far in feeling, but as we all said this isn't about vanity or beauty, it's about our inner self and right now u are fighting with that--but the fight gets tiring and it will end and u will be used to this more and more and u'll see u'r not so different.

Teka

Soteria205,

Cutie Pie!!