The Hermit Club

duckyb1

My tumor was small too, but this was recommended.....the Rads was nothing for me...the Femara is.....had 2 1/2 years...not like I did not give it a shot.....doing a lot of research to see how chancy stopping would be.....not an easy choice.......of course my Onc is not on board, but says it's my choice.....and neither are my 18 grand kids.....they want me to live forever.....lol

grammaB

ducky, both of my kids, grands are too little to understand what's going on, totally supported me in my decision to not do rads or hormones if it was suggested. I have lots of other medical issues going on that the SE would make my life miserable. As it turned out, both the RO and MO said it was not necessary for me to do either. They said my chance of reoccurrence was the same as any normal/healthy woman's chance of getting bc. I'm 64, I'll take those odds.

duckyb1

I had other issues too....HA in 2007.....also much older then you...78...the HA was mild and sprung back amazingly.......this is much harder......maybe the amount of time I did do the AI was enough to keep me safe from recurrence........who knows......

grammaB

One thing I have learned on this journey is that all drs are different in how they treat bc.

duckyb1

I think that is true in every illness......hang around here and you will see how many different opinions you get from what Dr's have recommended, and what the ladies have done on their own........there is a wealth of knowledge and love here....

Teka

BC is a crap shoot!

Jazzygirl

Hi Lynn- welcome to our thread. Glad you liked the turkey picture!

duckyb1

Teka your right........it is what it is..........you go on the AI's, do Rads sometimes you get beat up...many do.....you choose to not go treatment, and you get a recurrence....you still get best up.......like I said......"it is what it is".....,..,..shit happens......

Tomboy

that arimidex kicked my butt. so i have been on tamox for 2 mos. better, but still not good. trigger thumb, random and moving aches and pains, and i do wonder what it is doing to my reproductive facilities. and my eyes! i need my eyes! they say if something goes wrong, they can fix it, but i never want the knife anywhere near me a gain. skittish, and will bolt. i did start a new topic collections, but no one has responded yet.

Lynn1234

Thanks jazzygirl...I did send the turkey picture to my old friends at work-they loved it!

I am just putting this out here....I am basically pretty shy and an introvert....this cancer thing has put me in the spotlight with my family and friends. I am just not used to all this attention and sometimes don't do too well with handling it. I don't like being at the center of things. My family, bless their hearts, wanted me to go on a BC "pink" walk a few weeks ago....I felt very awkward(sp?). Sometimes, I do want to be a hermit! Any suggestions?

Teka

I don't participate in any BC events.

Except!

June 2011, I had a fun day watching daughter paint a ceiling tile for display in the cancer center for BC awareness & find a cure. I posted photo in my biography. I loved sharing the special moment while giving her a fond memory.

Give your family fond memories.

Jazzygirl

Lynn- dealing with other people around us, be it friends, family, coworkers, etc. is one of the most challenging parts of bc. All of us here have handled sharing the info differently with our communities- some have shared it with many, and others have kept it private and to a very selected group. But regardless of how many folks know, there are well meaning people, but not always helpful suggestions.

We just had a big discussion here on "pinktober" as some have called it. Lot of events in the month of October around breast cancer awareness, including the walks, runs, etc. I think people assume we want to be part of these activities. Some women here really love to be part of those activities, many others don't. It is okay to let folks know you appreciate their concern, and can hear their requests for thinks like a walk. But it is also okay to say no, and that you may need more privacy these days and will let them know if you need anything. This is now a time of putting yourself and your needs at the forefront.

Our hermits thread sounds like a great place for you! We are glad you found us!

camillegal

Good Morning Hermits it's a little after 3 ayem here and woke up UGH----

There are so many cat lovers here, it's great last time I said I would never do this again ever, well of course I did and we cuddle all the time and I just love that. And mine were rescued too and so was out dog and they get along fine, but don't play together=My cat has already shown him she's the boss and he's fine with it LOL

It just happens where my sister, niece and cousin all have this going on now and we rarely talk about it and with others I give the sad look like I can't talk about it, well I could but it makes it easier for no talking and I really do hermit on my bad days, but being retired makes it so easy and everyone understands by now. LOL.

And GrammaB u still had cancer and u'r here feel good u didn't get stuck with all that junk and besides we don't talk about it to much even tho this is BCO hahaha I think when u get to know people and u like them they are part of u'r day and if u do want to rant or anything it's fine we don't judge or we can complain all we want and it feels fine knowing someone else understands how u feel about things. And it amazes me I have met the most wonderful women from all over the world and it's easy to talk and be myself.

Jazzygirl

Cami- I too was up in the middle of the night. Midlife sleeplessness as I call it. Sleeping through the night is a pretty rare thing anymore!

Sorry to hear that there are three in your family dealing with it. Kind of the same way here too. My sister and I both were diagnosed within months of each other as most here know, and we don't even talk about it that much unless we are going in for some kind of check up/follow up. We have a former sister in law (was married to a brother who passed away over 20 years ago) and whom went through treatment a few years ago. I have had a peripheral relationship at best with her, as she has never been all that nice to me. She is not the kind of woman who likes other women, too busy competing and one-upping everyone in life. Just the way she is, and not someone who has much empathy for others. I never have said anything to her about my bc and never will. My sister recently told her about her diagnosis and treatment, which is something she wanted to do.

This site is the place I come if I need to talk about bc things. I get tired of the questions,judgments, and suggestions from others who just don't have a clue. Love my hermits!

I think I may procure and roast a small turkey this weekend! Going to be home working on some things around here and have some client work to do. Seems like it might be a nice weekend to make a tasty meal!

Jazzygirl

For the cat lovers!

duckyb1

Why is "here" good...........because when all the scare, shock, concern, worry, "we're here for you"is past.......many disappear, or don't want to hear your reasons why your not feeling up to par........the treatment for however long becomes a distant memory to the "support system" you had........they are "over" that initial "bad news day"....,,.,,,,.for us it becomes "our ever day life"..............so enjoy the attention, love, and care......because sooner or later it disappears.........

So you come here, where everyone understands your "bad days"............because scared, worry, concern, are still part of our life.........we laugh with you,😃 we cry with you😥.......we celebrate with you😉, and grieve with you😞..........but more then anything.................we are here for you, 😍 24/7 long after your "original" cheering section has moved on to "business as usual".......

Hugs to my new friends, and hugs to my familiar friends.....could not make it without you........

Spookiesmom

So true Ducky, so true

lizlori

Jazzy-Love the picture

Fritz most definatly thinks he is the boss....where did you find this picture?

Lynn-I too am a shy introverted person, being in crowds and lots of people is not my cup of tea. My support system is my family and this site, oh and my shrink. I also will never be the type that will tell everyone that I had breast cancer. I have noticed complete strangers share there journey. I do not judge them, it just isn't my style. Having BC is a private matter.

I think it's important to embrace who we are; personality, likes/dislikes.However I have found that the cancer team seems to think its ok to talk to me like I am a little girl ( another story that I will address wiith them)

Maybe down the road I will participate in a charity,but for now I give money to the bum on the road or the salvation kettles. I heard on the news that there are less food stamps being given out and so the food pantrys are emptying out.....yes there are lots of lazy undeserving slugs out there, but its the children I worry about. I am in a study and am recieving a vaccination monthly to prevent cancer, so I feel like I am contributing towards the fight against bc....even though it benefits me with free scans, x-rays and blood work.

Oh and a very belated welcome to you Lynn to this thread. This is a very safe, judgment free thread. It is my favorite, because it wasn't easy for me to write on here, but with encouragment from the other gals,I started to write and I no longer feel uptight about my posts.....

CCFW

del

Tomboy

ooooh, hope you win it, ccfw! sounds perfect for wisconsin.

camillegal

Ducky no one could have said that better--u are so right Once the initial part os over everyone thinks it's done---don't we wish, well for some it is, but most go thru crazy stuff after and who wants ro keep hearing about it yet we want to vent or just like u said a bad day and admit it. And we all get it. And altho I'm in a few topics---it took me awhile to figure put where I belonged and in each one I am comfortable with whatever I say. And have met wonderful women.

Lori Bless u'r heart for being in a trial what a wonderful thing to do---u are contributing more than most andshould be proud of what u'r doing. Thank you.

OK CC--u sound like this ball is going to be so fun, we're all jealous. Does this have to do with any type of dancing too.--Can u take pics. and print them--I love (and we all do) sharing some fun and agood time that's had by all at he ball--I did that on purpose.

I am hermiting well even with my little job from home--I'm still and will be in my comfy cozy nitegown all day--it's chilly out and I love flannel and most importantly I'm lazy,

Teka

Mommy, Daddy, and Teka survived the Vet visit!

grammaB

Thanks cami, I just feel sometimes I don't have much to offer not having gone through anything but the surgery... But you are right I had cancer. Sometimes when I say that to myself it shakes me to the core.

Well said ducky!! And so true, once the initial news/sx/treatment is over people drop away and go back to their life as if everything is normal for us. I think maybe part is they may have a bit of a fear that if it happened to her, it really could happen to me and don't want to be reminded of that.

You are so right about every dr/treatment plan being different. I also have diabetes and belong to a wonderful forum that totally goes against almost all the ADA recommendations. And I'll tell you, we are some of the most well controlled diabetics you will ever find. They are much like this forum, supportive and nonjudgemental. Between here and there I have some of the best friends I could ever hope to have!! And I can visit from home in my pj's!

CCFW sounds like a fun night!

Teka, it is always a struggle here to get Baby to the vet, glad you all got through it OK.

duckyb1

Gramma.....so glad to have you.....keep coming back.....we love your company....hugs

Spookiesmom

CCDW how cool is that!! What is your tartan?

Teka

Handsome!

Jazzygirl

Hi hermits- ugh, what day. We are super busy getting ready for our system go live and then heard today the clinical folks want me to help them with their command center work that would have me working 7 days a week. I put hours limitations in this contract, and glad I did. Some on this team are just lazy and trying to get others to do their work. I have a dinner meeting with my client next week and think we have a few things to talk about.

Ducky- your words ring very true. I had some really good support during my treatment process, but many of my friends are distant these days. Some are just busy with their lives, and others say they want to get together but never follow through on anything. So I say to myself, I get it and don't pursue the ones who seem to be uncomfortable around me. I am grateful for the help they gave me when I need it, but don't see them as part of my support system now. I try to focus on the people who do show up, want to know how I am doing, seem less afraid of the whole thing. I have others who don't know about my bc and therefore, that is not in the way of our connection. It can all be very complicated sometimes, but don't want to put my energy into making other people feel okay about things they never will. We are a reminder anyone can get this.

Lori- photo came off a group on FB but cannot find it now! Will find out what group it is on. There is some funny stuff on FB sometimes!

CC-those Stillwaters sound like a group of angels! I hope you win the faux fur!

I bought a 15 pound turkey and going to roast it this weekend. Yum!

Teka

I love turkey!

duckyb1

Jazz......we are a reminder......your so right...

Teka.....LMAO........you talking turkey ......almost your time and your meal.....you go girl....get that bird in the oven.......lol.......

I hate turkey, but that could be because my first one got cooked with all the crap still in the hole at the neck.....or the next year I dropped it on the floor and it skidded across the room, and under the chair.....while my Boston Terrier was chasing it across the room...."..

Lynn1234

Is that Sean Connery? I always had a thing for him. Hey CCFW let us know if you win-Good Luck!