The Hermit Club

markat

Hi everyone I'm sorry I haven't been around. I needed a BC or cancer in general, break. I should have checked in though I logged on tonight to see when my diagnosis date was...how funny that I couldn't remember.

Hugs to all and I'll try to catch up in the morning.

FLwarrior

HI! I'm back too! I have been MIA on this thread for a while now. I stop in and read a couple of pages every now and then, just to check on you hermits and see how you are doing. (Guilty of not read every page though.)

Markat we are both up past bed time tonight!

Spookie is just as beautiful in real life! Spookiesmom is my coffee buddy, so I have had the privilege of meeting Spookie!

Happy Birthday Skittle!!!

Skittle

Thank you, sweet Fl... so glad to see you back. Missed you.

And, Markat, I have considered a break as well. Sometimes the whole mess gets overwhelming. Missed you, too, and hope you're finding some sort of peace. Grief can zap energy and healing, and can come out of nowhere in a flash.

Lily... I so wish I could help in some way. If you have good moments and want to hang on, would he consider couples counseling? There may be resources through bc chapters or a community center or a church... or coping w/anger, loss, depression? You sound so lost and sad, I wish I could help. But if you decide to split apart, the roommate idea might be a good one. Someone may be working and want a stay-home someone to care for pets and home. Room/board could be a trade?

Spookie... so white! I've never understood how little dogs can stay so clean--or does Spookie spend lots of grooming time? With an enormous black dog, I cannot really picture all the bathing. He'd be back to his old habits quicker than I could take a picture.

Kathec... wow, woww. You and Utah look great! Landscape and thin/trim... Wonderful.

Camille... glad you figured out pictures. I haven't gotten that advanced.

grammab... welcome to hermits nest. Great group of sweet people.

Hugs to each. Hope all enjoyed extra hour of sleep... except all you night owls. Extra hour of up and around. Be well.

Teka

markat & FLwarrior, welcome back!

I am still feeling the need to take a break from the threads, December.

blondiex46

Sorry haven't been here yep been hermitting over and above I am so frustrated and annoyed that they can't figure out why I can't breathe I have been sitting in the dark just laying, not good......hope you all are doing welll and taking care of yourself....

Have CT scan tomorrow then a lung biopsy whatever

duckyb1

Sandy...who are you going to.......and is it DCMH......

Spookiesmom

That pic, posted from my iPhone, was last year on her birthday. I think they all get dirty at the same speed, white ones just show it sooner. She's not in full coat any more, short is easier for both.

Fl Warrior you're making us blush!

Lily55

blondie you are very graceful in your frustrations, hope they find something they can resolve.

Sadly there are no full time jobs as over thirty percent unemployment, and no single friends either, i would be happy in a little studio cottage with my dogs and cats.......another dream, but i need to move on tired of repeat rows that are never resolved or generate change

Tomboy

lily55 i would adopt you if possible

camillegal

Lily u sound so sad, I'm so truly sorry that all this confusion and emotional turmoil is all happening to u. I don't know how to help u---but before u can do anything u have to heal emotionally, then things start making more sense. Is there any family member u'd feel comfortable living with? Not a choice I would have picked, but I did and make the best of it, but there was a choice for me--I don't know for u what u'r choices are--but somehow I think u might see something when u get clearer of this emotional tangle.But I just wish we could all help u fel better, please there will be an answer for u and maybe a roommate might be it. Or some kind of government help--Just don't give up, this wikl be a sad memory, but it wil be a memory.

camillegal

Markat and FL it's so nice to hear from u--we speak of u often. And always miss u----but u are busy now and we know that. And handling things coming u'r way.

markat

Happy Birthday Skittle!

I remember now why I stopped posting. The boards changed the format for posting and I can't post from my Android phone now for some reason. Maybe I should look on the technical threads and see if there is something wrong.

Lily, I'm sorry you are going through such a difficult time. My emotions have been all over the place since my diagnosis. Pain, depression, pain that leads to depression...then my sweet mother's passing...it was too much. I recently saw a psychiatrist and hopefully things will begin to even out a bit. I went off all meds- pain, anxiety, tamoxifen, antidepressant. I started a new AD and am slowly taking the tamoxifen again.

Teka, I hope you and the family are doing well I have no idea because most of your posts are deleted, lol!

Camille, I've missed you! You are our sweet, funny rock. How are you and the fam?

Bgirl, Fl, Jazzy, blondie, and everyone else, I hope you all have a wonderful, peaceful day. I'm hermitting today while the girls spend time with my MIL. My youngest is doing better. Work is work, lol! There are days now that I completely forget about BC. I'm still fighting off the residual lasting effects that this disease has caused, but I'm dealing

Skittle

Blondie, welcome back to hermits nest. I keep you in prayers. Breathing issues are critical and exhausting (dh has severe asthma along with afib)... but your inner strength must be phenomenal. I hope the drs can find some source of relief for you.

Markat, glad your little one is better. I completely relate to work is work. Hugs to you.

Have a peaceful Sunday...

Teka

Sadly posts on the threads, LuvRVing [Michelle] passed away this morning.

duckyb1

rest in peace Luv.......your home at last...hugs to your family

CCFW

del

lizlori

Lilly-I am so sorry for your sadness. I can very much relate to what you are describing about your guy. My marriage was on the rocks and it had only been six months since getting married. DH was simular, seemed that everything got under is skin, always barking at me. And then my sisters were telling me I am too sensitive and he is such a "good guy"....finally decided it was all flipping bull shit....I have a right to be talked to respectfully....anyway long story short, for me it helped to talk to him when both were calm...and I am a firm believer in wording things in a way that doesn't put the other one on the defense. I have gotten to be much stronger with him, I also tell him when I am not happy, and he finally listens to me and trys to help. He is not open with his feelings, but when I point blank ask, he will share. It all takes time...I just know I am NOT walking on eggshells with him or anyone. I come across like such a mouse, cua I have low self esteem, but then I decide enoughts enough and then the cat comes out and thats all she wrote!! (I am not as tuff as I sound, just thought it sounded good)

Lilly, I hope you keep sharing with us. SOmetimes it is not so much what other people say, but it helps to really get things off your chest, and sometimes the answers come, not so much from advice you recieve but from your own way of processing issues.... It sucks when you have a dx like this and then have relationship problems....do you have family close by? Do you take any meds for cholesterol? SOmetimes they can cause chest pain....

Kath-loved the pictures! I looked at your art work...you are so talented, loved the drawings....(the half naked lady) I will pm you...

Spookie is soo cute and Kris Kringle....love him. I had a poodle just like him...

Teka-Martha is a snotty Mc snot, me thinks.

Julia seemed happy and warm..wine helped no doubt.

My pain is better, I take 100mg of tramadol every four hours (but no more than eight in 24hours) Doc said to take it consistently and the pain will not get out of hand. This morning I could walk better.

FLwarrior

Thanks for the welcome back.

Markat, I also have an android phone and can not post or reply to PMs on it. I PM'd the mods and they sent the info to the tech team. They told me that they were aware that with some platforms their is an issue with us being able to post...no keyboard...no way to type. She said they are working on it and hope to have a fix soon. Hope so...

Lily55

oh Lori thank you, no family nearby, no cholesterol meds, its all tight on one side i cant even stretch evenly

...

Jazzygirl

Hi hermits- quick message from northern NM. Getting some good soaking and treatments in up here at the hot springs. For the folks with foot problems, I am finding foot reflexology is another thing that is helping me to cope with the foot pain. Some insurance plans pay for bodywork (massage, acupuncture, etc.) so check to see if yours does.

Welcome back dear hermits, Markat and FL Warrior. I certainly understand your need to take a break. It all gets so overwhelming sometimes. And often complicated by other life events, like Markat experienced this year. Just know we are here whenever you need us.

Lily- things are very hard for you right now on all fronts. Many of the women here have had some excellent suggestions for you to look for other options. I am a single person, and know there are pros and cons to being alone vs. with some one. But it sounds to me like you are in a very stressful situation.

One other idea. I am not sure if you have any family nearby you can stay with until you are more on your feet? I understand it may be difficult to think about leaving the area if they live somewhere else, as your medical community is there. Not everyone has the kind of family you want to go live with either, I understand that as well. Finding a good counselor who can help you to evaluate the options and how to best make the right decisions for your situation is a key next step. I feel for you.

More in a few more days!

Teka

Lily55, maybe try stretching during a warm shower or bath. I take a hot shower or bath even with truncal lymphedema which is probably a no no. I so love to soak in the tub.

Jazzygirl

Jazzygirl

Teka and everyone else- I am sorry bout LuvRVing (Michelle) who passed away. I am not sure I saw her on any of my threads, but none the less, very sad to hear of someone here who has lost the battle.

camillegal

Hi everyone ''I hope u all had decent Sundays ooo that sounds so good with whipped cream--no cherries tho.

Markat it's always nice to see u post but I hate it when u'rve had such a bad time. It's been a rough year for u loosing u'r mom, I know.

FL it's good u popped in , we miss who stops posting and just hope u'r doing OK.

Did I miss a BD? I can't remember now if I did I'm sorry--remember I'm the one that celebrated my youn DD on the wrong day for several yrs. after she was born, then when I registered her for school I found out--my mom thought I was wrong but she figured I must have been right. So I'm not good with any one's BD. Oh I was only off a few days, but I had to reteach her her new BD. She still reminds me--brat.

I hope everyone has a good nite tonight and sleeps well.

Lily55

Thank you, my family are not people I could live with and anyway are based in another country. They made excuses why I could not stay there when they are only one hour away from where I was having some private cancer treatment. If I leave the country I am in then I lose my right to health care here until I am retired at 66, if I live that long.

I also have my dogs and cats to consider, which I would never leave behind. But finding somewhere I could live with them in the UK is not easy, I tried before when things were low and no one would rent a house to me with more than one dog.

But I am constantly irritated and now am simply reverting to treating him the way he treats me, and that means no present on his 70th birthday...he does not bother with me so I am not bothering with him, never done that before but enough is enough.

So far we are at argument number 7 today and its only 10.00am....

Teka

Lily55,

I had no idea he was close to 70. Maybe just old age cranky!

You can't teach an old dog new tricks.

lizlori

Lilly-one thing to ask yourself if you love him...and maybe ask him. If there is anything left there, it can work. It is soo hard when you have so much anger, then it ends up no one is listening to each other. It is not good for both of you to live with that kind of stress. I also know relationships can be complicated, and I am no expert (I am on second marriage, and a few bad relationships/boyfriends.)

My hope for you is that you find some peace and contentment....life goes by so fast.

I don't think the other gals here would mind me saying that we all care about you.....keep sharing sweet friend

P.S and if you just want to vent and don't want advice, let me know.....

lizlori

Skittle-no I didn't get Fritz in the costumes. As soon as I brought them out he glared at me as if saying "Don't even think about it" So I will put them away for now, and keep working with him.

Fritz likes to play tug of war with a toy....like what a dog does....is this odd behavior? He is not aggressive or nasty, in fact very affectionate. Skittle did you tell me a friend was getting a ragdoll kitten?? I would love to have another one.

lizlori

Skittle- Happy Belated Birthday

was reading back posts, and missed it.....

camillegal

Lily I think we all wish we could give u a magical answer to be in a stress free environment---but we all know we can't, basically all we can do is listen and avoiding him right now sounds best.. He sounds so angry and it could be cuz u have cancer, some men feel like they can't show fear or sadness who knows what he's feeling. That's the problem. I'm so sorry--this stress is not what u need now. And please don't forget there is loads of good arsenal for cancer now--so take that out of u'r head that there isn't.

I've been rearranging all my Dr. stuff for the next month so maybe I'll get it straight????And I'm stil screwed up with the time change--it always puts me in a loop for a couple of days.I seems to be easier for the spring forward for me.