What does your husband/loved one think about your flatness?

barbe1958

Shellshine, you are SO right!! Many men use breast cancer as an excuse to prove what idiots they are!!!!

MMSS

I have read several studies that all say the same thing-the number one thing that men find sexy in women is a sense of humor and number two is self confidence. There are not a lot of things that we have any control over that get better as we get older but both of those factors are things that we can choose to control and make better. The wisdom of age and experience should give us more self confidence and goodness knows we can find much to laugh about if we quit taking ourselves so seriously. So here's to a crazy sexy old age and to the type of men who are not intimidated by real women! Men who prefer Barbie dolls need to check out the ads on TV for low T and get some help.

Ariom

Love that MMSS! Couldn't agree more!

I am all for a crazy, sexy old age.

crystalphm

Hi Ladies, I posted recently here that I was bothered by my husband asking me to sleep in a different bedroom, well, I assumed it was about how I look when actually it is about I truly am a restless sleeper. I move around too much, and I disturb his sleep.

Well, it turns out I LOVE sleeping alone, our marriage is even better because we are not grouchy from no sleep LOL and I simply can't believe I assumed this was all about me not having breasts.

How silly of me.

But I also still do respect our society is pretty hard wired about the breast, and I do see over years how little things do change in a marriage, and certainly not having breasts IS a change, just as having a heart condition is a change. We adjust. We might not find it all sexy, but that is when creativity takes a bigger role.

I admire all of you.

Momine

Crystal, that is sort of funny, even if it wasn't funny for you when you thought it was about your MIA boobs. I am glad you are both sleeping better.

Ariom

Crystal, what a great result. I am so glad it wasn't because of the change in you, but I can understand how you could perceive it that way. Not silly at all, I believe we are all a bit fragile about the changes and how it affects our partners. It is a heck of a change for all of us.

So pleased to hear you are both sleeping better too!

I spent some time in the guest room years ago because I just hated the waterbed my husband needed for his disability. I always felt like I was clinging to the edge, about to be washed out when he moved around on it. We finally sorted it out by getting a latex bed that gave him the same support, but didn't keep me awake with the sloshing about.

signalfire

Hi everyone; I came over here to read what the general consensus was on husbands, etc., but also on what the general feeling was about having a double mastectomy without recon.  I'm in the decision process now, awaiting insurance approval.  It's going to be a bit of an uphill battle, the lumpectomy on the right side showed invasive DCIS outside the tumor margin, as well as LCIS.  I can only conclude that I've got both DCIS and LCIS all over both sides given that I haven't had any other biopsies; I'm 59 and it was of a mucinous type.  My hope now is to get rid of as much of the threat as possible and avoid the radiation, just do aromatase inhibitors for as long as I can handle them (I'm worried about side effects).  

While my sex life lately has been non-existent due to not having a partner, I'd like to think that at some point it might rev up again. It depends on the man I might meet  For those who are interested, I can offer one possibility that apparently won't clash with AIs or other hormonal treatment but might help.

I've always been interested in different scents and smells, not exactly commercial perfumes that give me a headache, but more of the 'aromatherapy' and essential oils kind of thing.  I did research years ago into pheromones and it turns out there's a LOT of information out there now about them, and some wonderful pheromone-containing perfumes being produced.  

I have no financial interest in this site, but can recommend it wholeheartedly; it's a wonderful company with superb products and an active and fun community: 

http://www.lovepotionperfume.com/

The pheromones have an effect on men but also on yourself, it requires a bit of trial and error to see what works but it sure is fun finding out.  

I wanted to thank everyone here for their warmth, compassion and honesty.  This is the best community I've seen yet for honest discussions and it's making a huge difference for me to see what other people are thinking, what their experience has been, etc.  You'll never know how much good you're doing, and thank you again.  

barbe1958

signalfire, don't assume you have cancer "all over both sides"!!! Each breast is a separate entity. Also, you can't have "invasive DCIS". It then becomes either LCIS or IDC. DCIS stays in the ducts and once it pops out it is no longer DCIS. You will get told this over and over in the threads. I had a double mast to avoid radiation right over my heart and lung and am glad I avoided it.

As for pheromones, I'd like my DH to be attracted to ME and MY pheromones! Not another scent!! But thanks for pointing out that you don't have a financial interest in that thread as it's breaking the rules to post links for financial gain or use this board for marketing purposes. Good luck in your decision!!

mumito

Too funny I had the same thoughts about the Pheromone post.

crystalphm

But French perfume is a self esteem builder for me....

AvoirEspoir

Hello, I am Laura Burgess and I am a third year fashion entrepreneurship student at the University of Central Lancashire (UK). For my Final major project my business concept is to create a range of feminine lingerie for women whom have had a mastectomy. 

Avoir Espoir will create a range of lingerie which will be trend led altering shapes, colourways and prints depending on the season’s trends. The mission is to create lingerie which will make women feel confident and help merge the health and wellness market with luxury fashion.

 I would really appreciate if you can fill out my questionnaire. Please be as honest as possible and constructive comments are welcomed. This will enable me to gain necessary research to create a product which satisfies the customer needs and wants. 

 The survey is in 3 parts, click the links below and it will take you immediately to the pages. Thank you for taking the time to fill out my questionnaire. All of your comments are valued and they will help me with finalising my collection. 

 http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/KY6T282

 http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/965RVW5

 http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/DYLYNXM

Leah_S

AvoirEsoir, you need to ask the mods for permission to post those links.

Best of luck with your studies. If you get permission, then I suggest a separate thread so it will be seen.

Leah

otter

Hi, friends. (Hi, Leah_S!) I am getting on with my life, but occasionally I stop back here on the Boards to find out what's going on. This is year 5 for me.



Maybe I'm in a bad mood. Okay, yes, I *am* in a bad mood. An upstream post urged us to complete some surveys on behalf of the lingerie industry. One sentence in particular caught my attention: "The mission is to create lingerie which will make women feel confident and help merge the health and wellness market with luxury fashion."



We are not "the health and wellness market." We are women who have lost one or both breasts to cancer. I am sorry, but the thought of asking us to assist with "merging" those two markets makes me laugh. If the fashion industry really gave a rat's behind for us, we wouldn't see major brands of women's lingerie and major vendors like Vickie's Secret promoting "breast cancer awareness," when their bra fitters have nary a clue and blanch at the thought of helping a woman find a comfortable mastectomy bra. Ever see a mastectomy bra at VIckie's Secret? Me, neither.



I don't need my underwear to make me feel confident. I need my underwear to make me feel physically comfortable. More precisely, I need a comfortable bra that will hold my breast form and that will not make my armpit and chest wall *uncomfortable*. Find me that, and I will wait in a long line.



otter