Fuzzy's Romp Room

sas-schatzi

Essa, dear one, have NO idea what your tribulation truly is----what was the dream sweetie that broke your heart---you spoke of all your animals waiting on the other side, but you didn't connect that with the dream other than no treatment. I don't know what you mean. I hear suicide. But Essa we have been given a trial. Why we don't know why each of us travels the road, and what forks we may have to take. I know the fork I want to be on now.

I want to find love again, even if it's just friends that care with benefits. Odd but truthful.

Remember the original MASH song-----"-suicide is painful"----------i played that song for years. It's words are so true.

 But life is true, every moment. I as a young one, I  tried it--suicide----what did I learn-----every moment of life no matter how painful, leads us to another moment that meant something. No Idea what that moment was , but there was a moment. You're one action in that moment may change anothers life ----for the rest of their life. My moment of not completing the action at 19 y/o lead me onto a life a of affecting others. Not sayinig in an arrogant way , please, but my being here made a change. Similiar to Jimmy Stewarts-"It's a good life". We each make a difference.

You make a difference, pain and sadeness may come with it , but lovey, what you do , you have no idea the change it can bring to another.

If I had accomplished suicide at 19------all after would have never happened--DS being alive , becoming an incredible person, and becoming a lawyer, 298 paramedic grads that so many went on to espouse and carry through my beliefs, Being part of a group that lead 300,000 to become PHTLS/Nremtp certifide---with the military adopting PHTLS, countless new nurses that wouldn't have been given hope of a better way. My Dh would have never known the joy of having a dog.    One life lost can change things-----

Yes , what we are going through absoloutley sucks. But OUR LIFE lost before our time can be a travesty. for what we have to give to one person that may change history.

sas-schatzi

Essa where are you sweetie?

sas-schatzi

Dear Essa , when I awake tomororow , plese don't make us sad M,we need you , your family needs you-------do not even consiser suicide------dear one--I lost my DH almost 2 years ago. It was his time---------THIS IS NOT YOUR TIME ---DEPRESSION IS NOT A REASON----MAY SEEM A REASON. BUT IS NOT--------------IF THIS IS WHAT'S GOING ON i BEG YOU TO NOT DO IT------------iF i NAM OFF MARK i WILL DELETE TYHIS TONORROW. cHICKIEE -POO----------DON'T D0 THIS TO YOURSELF AND US-------THINK ABOUT WHAT IT DOES TO US------------i MAY BE WAY OFF . i TIRED OF BEING WAY OFF----------PLEASE

iF I'M WRONG i WILL DELETE THIS

MaureenOH

I am not having a good night - a week out of chemo 5 and at the effect of everything -  I am feeling fat, ugly, a poor excuse for a person getting all the medical care I am getting and just worthless.  I was so tired and now I am so wired I cannot sleep.  Intellectualy I know it is hormones et al - but right now I just want to step in front of a bus.

Anonymous

Am still here.  i think this shit is going around.  DD was here last night and she had had a mental something and stopped along the way to pick up a puppy when she spotted a sign omg like she needs a puppy w 4 rescues to place already, now another the sign said FREE Puppies NOT DROWNING Puppies. And she does not recall stopping really. 

Maureen - it too shall pass.

SASSY I'm not okay, not at all.  The only reason I am here is for the others in my life, incl thaat there is always someone to help with just a note or hug.  Yesterday I bawled all day.  Researched what is the next tx for me, and cried, do not want another tx even though mine are mild, nothing like conventional choices, it's not about how bad it is, it's how I do not deserve it, not ridiculous to me.  Tried to fix all my messed up eBay items, brain crap never ends, and cried.  Attempted yet again to get printer to work and bawled.  Sales taxes for business still need done, 7 mo late, and cannot wrap my brain around it, simple but not for me anymore and I cried because all I can do right now is fight off flashes of what that dream was.  Hubby came home and I was still a mess, he had no clue, but I told him to go help DSIL w vehicle and I would manage so he had to, no questions.

When daughter and granddaughter got here, I was not wanting to see anyone, but it is a good dsitraction, though images will not stop a minute.  My little sweet one, going to be seven, she stood by my side and eventually just put her head on my shoulder for a minute.  And I thought, I have to keep trying, I have to do my best to be here for all of them like they are for me. As much as I want to just let cancer take this life and et it over with because no one can have dreams like that and be worth anything to anyone, I have to keep going.

When they left, I cried, we did dishes, then I sat on sofa and bawled.  Hubby hugged me pulled up a chair and spent an hour trying to convince me that I could tell him and he will still love me and I have to share this load w someone for my own good, but I never will, not a doctor, no one ever.  He was going to stay home today to keep eye on me, but I am not going to take my life, and promised I would call my suicide-pact buddy if I need to.  I called her yesterday, she does not know the issue or dream, just the cancer turmoil, today  I will tell her the other but not the dream.  Two yrs ago we promised one another that if we got too tired of life, we would call one another to talk it out, support each other.  I was not suicidal then either but so tired and disappointed from life and trying to get somewhere in it.  

This dream is not even about those disappointments which I deal with daily still.

The only way I can live with this dream is that perhaps I can help prevent.

But I am still here.  I will keep on keeping on, if only to be here for my granddaughter, daughter, pets.... dear Hubby as long as possible, others I do not really know.  

Sassy, you can leave your post, someone will need to hear, there are no mistakes.

  

Anonymous

Last night I had a good cry too after my shower. Everything just hurts. Two of the  drains are still in for 3 weeks. Can't get dressed by myself. Still can't stand to see my bmx chest. DH helped me get into my compression bra. He went to put his arm around me and touched where the tubes come out of my chest. I screamed in pain and he quickly moved his arm. He felt bad. I cried about not wanting chemo and especially the port. I had one, I hated (despised) it and had it taken out as soon as I could. Now I need another and flashbacks are resurfacing. I ran to get an anti-anxiety pill.

Today has to be a better day.  It could be if I try to make a good day  and maybe pigs will  fly. Gentle hugs to everyone!

crog234

((((Essa, Maureen and anyone else who needs a hug this morning)))....



Veggy. I remember those tubes well. Didn't like them one bit either but know that they should be out soon.



Dunesleeper how goes retirement? You seem to be keeping busy... I too have been cleaning what I call " stuff" I don't need.... I also have been shredding lots of stuff... I like my shredder!!!!! Got son who hasn't lived at home for over 10 years to go through a box of stuff that is still at our house. He took a file cabinet that I didn't want any longer and will take the box next week when he comes over...



Hope everyone has a good day!!!!



Cindy

Anonymous

I have this desk - actually the antique threshing dining table in nook where I do my 'business' work.  It is the downfall of me right now.  After movingg, it is still not organized to the point of the laptop goes into the drawer and flowers in vase on table when I am done.  If I get it cleared I might paint it white, a goal to set so I will do it soon.

Veggy, gentle hugs back.  These emotional and physical spirals arre just setbacks, this is not real life, it just seems like it.  We will be okay sometimes and not okay the next day, back and forth, but okay is on the horizon, it really is, believe.  

Dunes - your retirement is getting you in deep.  I hear you have 1000 cds to copy.  Seems like a stack, lol.  

I have 1000 items to list on eBay, including Hubby's small tools that will pack and ship easily, a ton of them.  We have to get hese all sold bcz we are not traveling w them, only the 140-pound dog and the skunk who were playing this morning, made me feel better.

Hugs to all.  Nope, not okay but we just keep on.

Anonymous

Essa - I'd love to see a video of your dog and skunk playing together. The thought of it gives me a little smile but to see it would be a laugh.

Crog - Its going on day 20 with the tubes. I was okay with them up to last night. Now I am ready to pull them out myself. I won't though.  Tomorrow I see the plastic surgeon. I think I am still a little too juicy to have them pulled. Lets hope I am wrong.

My son made me a cup of coffee and brought it to me. 

Gentle hugs!

Anonymous

He wanted to play w her when we first adopted himm, but we were afraid he might have a prey insstanct kick in since he had been tied in a pasture for two yrs.  Or he was so huge he would hurt her though happily playing.  So we sort of made him afraid to try, our fears you know.  Now he gets happy and down in front to play, she runs at him stomping all the way.  But he usually turns tail to go to another side of room or leave.  I make it fun, I go beepbeepbeep and pinch her butt.  Or I say she'ssooooonice, she'scuuutte and he feels like it's a good thing now. 

yup, she is 8 pounds if that and he is 142 or so, a pair, I tell you.   He's afraid of horseflies, bumblebees, hummingbirds (very horsefly-like) and water.  She is afraid of nothing.

There aare a multitude of pics here where I used to write skunk stories until I got sick.  I miss writing, one needs to be in a better mood to write.  But I used to have  ball writing.  A fav is this one.... w pics

http://skunkiedelight.wordpress.com/2009/01/17/mamas-sweet-time/  hope it makes someone smile today.

duckyb1

Dear Ladies..........Suicide is never an option.........Life is not easy ......no one ever said it was going to be......some are more fortunate then others with "good luck...bad luck".............but only the "strong" survive, and I always say, "God will never give yo more then you can handle".................I have been punched down many times in my life, but always managed to get back up......don't know how, but I did....................my famous saying is ............"Lord if this is a test, I'm failing miserably", but one way or another I manage to survive.

I had a daughter with a brain tumor when she was 19.....out of the blue, no previous signs of anything....woke up one morning at 5am, in a seizure......911, and all that, and eventual surgery......we survived.....my father died of esophageal cancer, and 1 year later my mother with colon cancer...................7 years later I lost my husband to Pancreatic cancer after we had bought a vacation home, and a new Cadillac...........I thought I would never be able to live without him..........I survived........it is now 20 years..........my son 1 of 6 children's wife left him, and one of his boys picked up a drug habit....got arrested, but is now on his way back, and will be going to college in Sept....we survived............his daughter is acting like a little "tramp" at 16 on Twitter, and it breaks my heart.........but I will survive this too...............................another grandaughter had twin baby girls........my first Great-Grandchildren..................the Dr. tried to play hero by pulling the 2nd one out by her feet, and ripped her spinal cord.........she may be handicapped for life........we are surviving.............then the BC diagnosis..........shocked, went through all of it, and the Femara makes me feel like 90.........my QOL, has been reduced to rubble, but I get up every morning.......struggle to the bathroom, get my shower, and then manage to get through the day "ok"......................I attenede my husband's cousin's funeral this morning.................she was 44, and died waitng for new lungs, which they finally decided to give to someone else cause her condition was so bad, and she had Scleraderma which would have killed her anyway..............she fought till the end, and they finally "pulled the plug"..........................so when I start to feel sorry for myself, I say........................put on your big girl panties, pull up your boot straps, and thank God for another day, no matter how bad it is.............there is always someone worse..................................suicide is never the answer................you have too much to live for........count your blessings, not your problems...................I know, easier said then done..................but what else do we have in life if not "hope".....................you will come through this, I promise...................love and hugs.

sas-schatzi

Hey everyone checkin note Love you all sassy

crog234

Well said Ducky... wish I could put into words what I feel the way you are able to..



Cindy

ptdreamers

thefuzzylemon

Hello loveliest people of the world. I have pages to catch up on but I'm shocked right now and a little clueless.....Nancy left?? OMG. I'm so saddened by this. If anyone talks with her....please tell her I'm always a friend. Damn. Damn. Damn.



Just living in crazy land right now. My trip from bcrecovery.org begins tomorrow. I hope this is a healing step. I honestly could just stay home.



Its always a treat to read that this thread brings comfort to some of us. I've been bashed upside the head in other threads....totally uncalled for....and I walk softly ever since. But not here....let the shit fly. Gotta get it out!!!!



I have 37 voicemails.....a stack (or three) of mail....and I just can't seem to get myself connected to any of it. Crazy right? I'll be reading back a few pages tonight. Know that I love you all!! Sweet dreams everyone"

dunesleeper

Essa, I totally laughed out loud at your skunk story . . . when I wasn't feeling ill about the cat puke. Why must cats DO that anyway? I sure wish I could write like you do. You do write well. It is interesting that you can only write when you are feeling relatively well. I have books full of suicidal poetry . . . gag . . . and I even wrote a poem promising "I vow to write no poem less than wrote of bitter life." Oops. I fell short on that vow. LOL Perhaps there is still time. Anyway, I really hope you find that this is a passing mood, a down in the rollercoaster of life. One thing we know for certain. Life is change, constant change. We are going to have relatively good days and relatively bad days and none of them will last forever. Savor the family and friends who care so much about you. Is there anyone who can help you with those tasks, like the taxes, with which you are struggling? Is there anything I can do?

SAS, thanks for sharing your own struggle with life and what you learned from it. That is really putting yourself out there, and it helps me know you a bit better.

Maureen, I hope you are feeling better by now. I chose a different path for my treatment, and I truly doubt I would have had the strength to handle the treatments you have had to endure. I would think that getting fed up with it all at some point during treatment would be a perfectly normal reaction. Stay away from buses girl! Please let us know how you are feeling today.

Veggy, I hope you are able to lose the tubes today. If not, it will be soon; and it will be a grand day, a day for a celebration. I felt so free when my tubes were removed. I felt like I could do anything, which of course, I couldn't, but still . . . I felt like I could. You just have to hang in there a little longer. It seems to me that mine started producing only miniscule amounts practically overnight -- after waiting about 3 weeks. Then they took them out. Yay!

Cindy, the guy did not contact me about copying the CDs, so I don't know if I have that job. I did list a few more things on craigslist and pennysaver again today. Actually, I did quite a lot today. I did a thorough accounting of my budget, and seriously, if I can sell all this stuff, even dropping down the prices, I should be able to make it through six or seven months before having to get some sort of job. Perhaps I will get lucky and get the disability determination by then. Whatever happens, I'm thinking it is going to work out OK. Unfortunately, it means borrowing money from my mother (hopefully just for the class I will be taking) but I will repay her. It will be my first priority. This retirement is really good for me. It is making me learn to pay attention to financial things. It is forcing me to consider what things I can do that have value for others. I am learning to let go of things that have been hard for me to let go of. I have 2 boxes of stuff for Goodwill in addition to all the things I am selling. This house needs this kind of clear out.

Hugs to my romp roomies. I am grateful that we have each other to share our laughs and even our sorrows. We have all had our lives changed in major ways. There are bound to be some bumps, but together, we can soar through it all.

thefuzzylemon

Whew...caught up and I hope I don't forget too much!

Nancy....I'm so happy. Please, don't ever leave. Ever. Please. You are a gift to all of us. A perfect person like the chocolate covered words GG said. Holy crap I was so upset! The whole room turned upside down! Girl...You got lots of love here...forever and ever.

SAS....turtle molesting the dog...that's good shit! HAHAAAHA! And I will discuss getting busy with my DH as I have access...oh you crack me up.

Ok....I want to thank You all. It is raw and honest....and I don't feel so alone...and incurable....and defeated....I feel that we have collected here to be with each other...I totally agree that there are no mistakes.

Ducky...you are a fighter. And, you're right. Its not easy and the bullshit never ends...but we keep on keeping on. And, Diane sweetie...if its Your family that keeps you on this side, then you must love them very much...your dream frightens me and I don't even have a clue what its about. You've embraced it and plan to try to stop it and that's powerful stuff - kick ass sister.

Did I mention I'm sooooooo frigging happy Nancy stayed???? Oh so Glad everyone wrapped their arms around you and kept You safe.

I am suffering that same sort of disconnection with "certain" things....and I'm wondering if there's something I can do about it. I get so upset with specific situations that remind me of where my MH got screwed up in the first place....oh that gets my goat...

So, when I went back to read the posts...I went a little too far and read the letter piece from my DD. So, from that point on, I've been just laughing and crying all over the place!! LOL (for real!)

Angeleyes....welcome and I too had the most f'd up horrible experience with chemotherapy and radiation....I am one who will tell you it sucks so bad and seems like it will never end....but, I didn't fight it....I couldn't if I wanted to....and I have seen such amazing things and met all my family here and continue to take one step at a time....sometimes just part of a tiny step....and sometimes I don't step until I come here and discuss my shitstorm....its a rough road but there are treasures along the path.

dunesleeper

Good to hear from you too Fuzzy. Yes, I have been bashed in other threads too, girlfriend! But this place feels very safe, very supportive. I am so glad I found your thread and that we are friends.

thefuzzylemon

(((((Hugs)))))

You know how it feels good to be home after a long day....or extended stay?

Its always good to be here.



For people to get so bitchy and insensitive on BCO just baffles me. Being that I have an attitude (LOL ) I think....if they were men I would assume they had little tiny weiners and act aggressive on the internet to make their insecurities less obvious. But....they're women??? And, I know I should be a little more sensitive - but I did that...and I'm a little more experienced now....and that's just mean, Nasty behavior that isn't appropriate anywhere. In real life I don't engage in that crap....and with my love for BCO and all of you all....Fuzzys got your back. If You hurt....I will always be here to help, or in your pocket, or sending you happiness and healing the way I do.

dunesleeper

Right back at you Fuzz!

thefuzzylemon

Thanks Dune!!

XOXOXO

sas-schatzi

My dear friends, guess what I got today!!!!!!!!!!!!!! definitely not

sas-schatzi

Dunes --nice work

Essa-----glad today was better----the skunk and newfie stories keep them coming.

fuzzy wuzzy-----been dying to say that forever-----yes your daughters letter, what a great memory

nancy SKK is one crazy kitty glad you caught her

Why oh why didn't I sleep when my body said sleep, now it won't

Ducky keep us straight

 Took some of my own advice and it was fun

Anonymous

Bed at 10 and up at 6, yup am on days now.

Yesterday We sold the washer and dryer on eBay, yeah, accomplishment.  Also I was able to get to bank andd for them to help me figure out how to log in AGAIN to my business account, my brain on me, so that is done again.  Hope I can log in today. And yesterday called my pact friend, talked two hours.

Today, goal is 3 posts for bco in morn, 3 in afternoon.  Get taxes done, printer running bwwaahaaahaaa right, blog post on WFBlog, and call for new onc appt.  Do you know last onc did not even tell me if this is b or t cell.....  if anything is like pulling teeth it is info from that onc. 

Today, figure out which protocol to choose for right now w lymph nodes cancer + and sytemic cancer through and through.  At least nothing has massed up anywhere except in the three nodes surgeon should have taken.  

Today, call granddaughter, brush dog, snuggle skunkie.  

Today, clean table when Hubby gets home, he can do some tasks to help it be possible.

Today will be a good day, just because of getting crap off my list.

Today - a strong thank you to all who listened, I know it scared some of you, me dropping into the pit of no return.  I still feel it is that, there is no way to live with stuff sometimes and I am old enough to know this is one of two things in my life I will not get over and damn it for it to even be there.  i am sorry that I scared you, SASSY hugs, you especially were alarmed, sorry dear one.   i am better, the image is getting less but I am still protecting myself from it hitting me in the heart again.

Fuzzy good to see you, Ducky wise words, Dunes hope it all comes together and you may even find you do not have to go back to work for longer as there are auctions to buy from and resell too, Nancy do you know you are loved? Maureen you hanging in there today it is Wednesday not a bad day if we think about it half way from and to everywhere like the glass half full.  Wednesday could well be halfway to hope.

Talk to all soon.

Anonymous

Today I am in a meerkat mood. 

They live underground and watch 

out for each other. 

dogeyed

FOLKS, I just wanted to provide some relief by telling something I realized a little while back, and that is we are all completely drained from this whole cancer routine.  We ain't got nothing left!  Is it any wonder we were not exactly alert?  And I do think that even if we committed to a marathon, or ate only completely organic meatless foods, or slept 22 hours a day as the lions do (from protein meal), we will STILL be a little weaker than before, a little less precise than before, a little messier, skipping showers, screw the dishes on the kitchen counter, and my favorite one -- able to fall off the floor!  Yes, ladies, I am here to testify I did fall off the floor a couple days ago.  I have NO IDEA what I was doing when I stepped into the dog's water dish, soaking my pajama pant leg, then lept into a large unpacked shipping box (from six years ago), my remaining boob nearly removed in the process, and thusly I did fall off the floor.

These things happen, ladies.  And tho I was quite happy for a couple days there on account of I took an iron pill, I was crying for no good reason several times yesterday.  Oh, I had SO had it!  I was just FED UP.  I felt lousy and couldn't do one dang thing about it.  SHIT!  Yes, I say SHIT!  I tried to post in here and remember everyone and discuss the properties of death, but I swear I could not put my words together.  Oh, I kin sing, I kin engage in delusional talk, and I kin lurch across a room.  But I could not communicate.  What I have here is "failure to communicate."  But obviously I am doing fairly well today, albeit long-winded and boring.

Let me move onto more interesting topics, therefore.  My hairs.  Husband and I were measuring each other's pot bellies, I thought mine was for sure larger, but his was, and I asked him innocently if I looked like a fat old mamma.  He replied I looked rather well, but perhaps my hairs were holding me back, their grayness and sticked-out-ness.  SIGH.  I said I had been considering at end of summer getting a trim and perhaps some color.  But I mean, COME ON FOLKS, we all look like the living dead, hell frozen over, EFF MY HAIRS.  But ohhh, I used to have such long golden locks, striking blue eyes, and SOME remnant of my girlish figure.  The operative words are "used to."  Yes, we are all "used to's," and ain't not one blamed thing we can do about it, neither.  We shall be forever stuck in netherworld.

DEFINITION OF NETHERWORLD, by Leon Russell:  "I love you anyplace where there's no space and time, I love you for my life, you are a friend of mine.  And when my life is over, I hope you will remember, when we were alone and I was singing this song for you."  Just pick up the pieces of the broken glass and make a mosaic out of it.  Brush your hair so that bald spot won't show for at least five minutes.  If something scares you, this is no time to be brave, so shoot to kill.  And for crying out loud if you (a) can't mow the lawn, (b) do your own accounting, (c) or brush the whole dog, then PLEZ hire someone to do it and only brush half a dog.  For to be a member of the netherworld, one only need brush half a dog, cat, skunk, budgie, or thy hairs.  That is the way we do things.  And it's OKAY.

Well, I think I've said ENUFF for us.  And since I just realized I have a thing of chocolate here and a glass of milk, which I brought here to indulge in an hour and a half ago, I really OUGHT to do something about that particular mistake.  I love you all so truly and gratefully, Gail

MamaV

Gail - I'm glad I'm not the only one - tripped 4 times last week over the same damn thing in the garage that has been there for years!

I just passed my 1 year PFC and really thought I'd feel and look better by now.  I've been trying to get on with life and haven't been around BCO much, but for some reason, that one year mark just threw me into a tailspin.  One year ago I really finished chemo?  When why the F do I still look like crap?  Ridiculous hair (to my standards anyway), wrinkles, puffy everywhere, darn lymphodema - trunkal not arm - WTF - and 10 stupid extra pounds - thank you Arimidex.  And forget about how crummy I feel some days - don't sleep, joints and bones hurt all the time, tired, and just plain stupid.  I used to have my sh&t together and now I'm a mess.  Oh but everyone around me - you look great ... and think since I'm done with chemo I should be feeling wonderful.  Yeah, no.

Phew - that felt good to get out!

Now, I'm thankful to be alive and healthy enough to complain!

Anonymous

I touched up my roots this morning. I have to look good for the plastic surgeon. I haven't even looked in the mirror yet.

Anonymous

Gail - glad you found the way to communicate again today..... the skunk did let me trim half her nails last week.  And yes, I brush half a dog all the time, hahaha he is tooooo big to do all at once.  And today, for the first time in months actually..... I have not combed my hair except w fingers, not showered, not dressed and not made my bed.  But I did figure out my protocol so far so good and I did eat though I do hope the cancer fighting soup I am eating doesn't give me food poisoning, been in fridge long time.  Where is that colloidal silver?  But I know the feeling.  Later, tasks. Cannot say I have ever nor eveer witnessed someone fall off the floor, power to you.  Last week daughter got her foot stuck in caar seat on ground in dark and fell and got a concussion and whiplash, that was massive.

Veggy, no reason to look in mirror, remember what it was like to turn 30 or 40 or 50 and you still feel and imagine that you look like say 27, well, that is what this is like.  your hair is gorgeous now, you are getting more vital.  It has to be if we imagine it, right?  Meekrats are so cool,  a colony, good choice.

  

sas-schatzi

Fuzzy, Jo on Bonfires changed the pic in her heading forum statement ---please consider that with the Meerkats for the header here. If that bunch of Kats aren't the epitome of us. Jo could probably talk you through how to do it. Her pic is off to the side so it doesn't take up much room.

Essa---I so get what you are saying about not doing/taking care of physical stuff. But that's all part of our PTSD. Yes, I was severely worried about you, but we are here for each other. What each of us have done at one time or another here is say what we think. That's the beauty of this site, we have each others back.

Veggy--great pic of meerkats. No words that will make you feel better about the scars, except they will fade in time. The great par tis you're here to  see them fade. I have this halfmoon scar by my eye from 2years old. Taught me allot about peoples manners. Three types of people First type--wouldn't know me at all and would ask how I got it, second would ask after awhile, third type NEVER noticed. At least total strangers aren't asking about the BMX scars. Never have been one to consider clothing optional beaches.

Mammav(welcome),and Gail,and Essa and Essa your poor DD. I'm with you" Falls percautions" at all times. Less falls since I moved the dogs water dish onto the carpet. She has a beard which drips. Took several falls on the drips on the ceramic tile. Ouch. Could cut her beard, but GWP's are so cute with the beard.

 This is going to be an indelicate thing to write on an open forum, but went through the no shower thing one time for more than a few days during a deep depression week while on keflex for something--ended up with a raging vag infection---haven't done that one again no matter how depressed. UGH The things we share

I'd rather talk about skunks and meerkats and SKK and newfies and GWP's