Fuzzy's Romp Room

Anonymous

Cannot type too much as keyboardis  messed up and driving me batty, butir  ead last 3p gs.  Will be back.

LOVEEssa

Linda-n3

First, (((((hugs))))) to all of you who need them - i.e. everyone! This has been a tough week for many of you.



Mine has been less than stellar, have had hot spots on PET scan, so had MRI at 7:30 today to follow up on that. I asked the MO if it REALLY made a difference, and she said yes, it really makes a difference in treatment recommendations. So I am sitting here with my 3rd recurrence, found the day after Christmas, and have had biopsy, PET/CT, MRI, labs, and 4 doctor visits since Jan. 1, each of which takes about 4-5 hours for travel, waiting, and visit time. And we have not done ANYTHING to even BEGIN treating it yet. So it sits here, spewing off cells if it wants to, growing if it wants to; I think I found a new node just above my clavicle. *sigh* I am tired. I am tired of being a patient. I am tired of having a chronic disease that will probably kill me, but in the meantime will cause me as much pain, depression, hot flashes, mood swings, and disability that it can. I read the Book of Job this week and totally understrand it!!!



I would so like to respond to each of you today, to offer comfort, encouragement. Please know that I have read your posts, and am sending each of you individually hugs and lovingkindess. Will rest for now, see you all later.

Lily55

Linda - that is just **** so sorry, but you will fight back and remember it has often been there for ages, years, unseen until it gets big enough..........hope you get your new treatment plan soon

Anonymous

I haven't napped or read anything today... just resting and talking on the phone to my sister and mother. The only thing I accomplished was make mac and cheese and my son helped. Linda, when i read tht you are tired I cried. I can so relate. I wish my arms were long enough to hug all of you.

I told my doc and his nurse about Chaz. Their expression was the same...oh no. I asked why. They said he has poor conversation skills. Everyone saus the same thing about him. I think he is riot. I live with three guys with the same problem. I'll get him talking.

My other son just finished making a banana cake from scratch. Can't wait to eat it. I should have my huband go down to the store and get some ice cream to go with it. That would make a nice comforting dinner for me.

Hugs!

sheila888

To all my friends here.......

Veggy's arms got longer.......

dunesleeper

LOL Sheila. That is really cute.

Wren44

Veggy, I think Chaz is processing his feelings in his own way. He knows you're back in active treatment and he's scared. It's wonderful that he felt safe enough to tell you his dream. Ice cream for the cake sounds like a wonderful dinner today. ((((HUGS))))

dunesleeper

I walked past the cage and Peaches had his head tucked into his feathers. I disturbed him, but I sort of got the shot. He's sooo cute. He's not exactly fluffed, but . . .

SherylB

sheila888, you are so talented. I am envious of you artistic guys I have trouble downloading a picture and posting it to FB. lOL

Love the longer arms for hugging.

Sheryl

Anonymous

What else could go wrong?

My seroma bled last night. It bled right through to my pajamas. I hope that mans that the infection broke. Or does it mean that it doesn't like being handled and its angry?

Our coal furnce blew this morning. The boiler got a hole in it, leaked on to the fireand the cellar filled up with nasty steam. We opened up the cellar door to the outside and it looked like our house was on fire. Did I mention that its 10 degrees here?

SherylB

Oh Veggy, for crying out loud. So sorry, but I have to say that I think the seroma bleeding MIGHT be a good thing, as blood is generally thinner than pus.

Hang tough,

Sheryl

Linda-n3

Oh, Veggy .... these things always happen at THE WORST times! We have had pipes break and furnace malfunctions, always on the coldest day of the year or in the middle of a blizzard. I completely empathize, wish I could do something more than offer platitutudes or virtual hugs. Just keep breathing, take each minute by minute (don't worry about the one day at a time - this has to be shorter time durations!).

ridergirl

Veggy my love so sorry for all that you are going through. Keeping you in my thoughts and just wanted to give you a BIG  (((((((((HUG)))))))

Off to chemo in 1/2 hr.....first dose of taxol....grr this was supposed to be my last treatment now i'm starting a whole new regimen <sigh>

(((hugs))) to all

Anonymous

Rider  - I'm in your pocket.

Linda-n3

Ridergirl, best wishes on chemo. Be kind to yourself.

lisamarie68

I cant figure out the picture thing either ..My heart just saddens when I hear all the heartache that is going on here with all of you . I guess these are the times I need to step back and be thankful for life . I have each and everyone of you in my heart and prayers each and every day . I try to read every day but I have been moving so I have been busy betweek 12 hour shifts and moving .. but hey landlord says bed arrived today and so I can have a great nights sleep hope .. no more flipping air matress on the floor for this gal ... 

I cant even imagine living with someone on a daily basis and know they don't love me anymore . My x bf and I did not live together but he kinda hung around during my mastectomy and reconstrucion , then I guess he figured there were better things ahead and he just walked out of my life without a goodbye or yet a word, its been almost 5 months now . I guess God has bigger plans for me .although being alone gets so sad sometimes nd not being able to have animals really sucks .. but better for the animal anywaay I work too many hours and days to give the love it would need ... 

BC sucks , everything that we go through Sucks .. I hope you know that even though I don't know each of you personally this place here gives me comfort and some days strength and I love you all and don't know what i'd do if you werent here ..

I am still struggling along with the smoking crap .. ya know the shit gives me peace when I need it , but then when I am smoking and its like zero degrees out , I am like WTF are u doing and why the hell do these dumb things have so much control over you .. dammit I quit .. haha even if it is a day at a time sometimes more . I can't beat myself up . I just need to move forward and keep trying ...

I love the pics of the bird... xoxo

Have a good day all 

Lisamarie

thefuzzylemon

Lisa....the important thing is that you keep trying!!  I don't know why anyone would really want to quit.  I mean, if it was in your normal life beofre BC, I would probably want to hang on to it forever.  I just want my old me back so bad...but we know that's not going to happen...so, if I was addicted to something that was in my normal life, I would have a terrible time letting it go.

Rider...I'm totally in your pocket.  I had AC and Taxol Chemotherapy.  The Taxol was most definitely easier for me (not great, but way easier than AC).  I'm not sure how much different AC is from FAC but I thought I'd put that in there.  I'm so sorry you went through that shitstorm in one day.  That's too much for one person.  But, you went today...you showed up.  That's what you have to do.  And, you did it.  That takes strength and courage that no one else can understand. 

Veggy...Can I send you Reiki?  I'm only a level one, but ... what the hell right?  Only to focus on that one aggravated spot...dang I hope the bleeding was a gooooood thing.  Doesn't that kinda get scary?  Big hug right back to ya sweetie.

Linda...Third time around? My goodness.  Kinda the resident professional then!!  it's interesting how well you know you body.  I got really irriated with my PS and said for him to stop saying that I am a survivor/warrior/whatever...I didn't chose this, I don't want this, this isn't a fair fight or battle so stop putting me in those boxes...I think of all of my sisters here whenever I need the courage to stick up for what I believe in and just say what needs to be said...your story just kinda sparked a little fire in me I guess...

Sassy...yes, the blood supply and scarring from radiation may cause me some pretty severe problems.  The shit saved my life though...guess it's the good with the bad?

I am now super hungry for mac and cheese....gotta go LOL

lisamarie68

Thanks Fuzzy, I am trying , trying , trying ....I don't understand why it is sooo hard been without a smoke today .. but the cravings are driving me insane !! to the point that I really wanna just go crazy ... I have 3 more hours here at work and a brand new bed from sleepy's when I get home so happy about that.. so maybe a nice hot shower a glass of wine .. although I should not drink either .. whats a girl to do when its freezing outside and she is alone at home ... Sometimes I really do think I am nuts ya know .. then all this crazy shit with the new implants and everyone is telling me I should get a 2nd opinion . I wished i had insurance that allows me to go DR shopping but the reality of it is I dont . I am on a state cancer insurance so I am limited to the BS that works with the program and the PS that works with the program unless I pay out of pocket and I could never afford that ... I did not ask for this shit , and neither did any of us .. and it just sucks when we are in situations that baffle us and feel like we are lost with no where to turn .. Oh boy I sound like a constant whiney baby .. and I should be greatful  I do not have mets or need further treatment .. I am sorry ladies .. Once again you aare all in my thoughts . xoxoxo

lisamarie 

Anonymous

I took my son to his appointment and then shopping. I'm on my second glass of wine right now but who's counting? I'll smack them hard if they're counting. Do not drink a car under the influence of alcohol. 

Anonymous

hahaha Veggy, we won't.  Ladies, no drinking of the cars or SUVs or bugs either please. 

A glass or two a day of organic wine is a good thing I read.  I don't have any in house this eve and wish I did.  Also a rolled cigarette with all natural Native American tobacco is a good thing I suppose but I am an ex-smoker so cannot chance it, I could begin again with smoking, been 22 yrs I think since last time I quit. 

Cookies, sweets, that is my culprit.  Even with cancer breathing down my neck, I want the sweets.  I know I know, the c-cells want the sweets and I give it to them.  But I also give them other stuff so they die naturally, so we're even, I hope.

Keyboard is better, needed good new batteries and I went to store for what I knew was new.  Yesterday it almost ended up in bonfire of goddesses.  When I get time this weekend w Hubby off, I will do flowers.  Been a WEEK of it, from computer it to car it to brain it.

Came to check on Granny, so gonna scroll back and see how it goes.  Granny????  How goes it?

Edited to add, she has not been here. Send love for our friend Grannydukes and her son for his surgery.  She is too overwhelmed and tired to post everywhere. 

Also, Veggy - ru kidding, the thing blew?  In this weather, it has the nerve.  Is like there are bad luck gremlins everywhere.  I hate them.  Thinking of you.

Fuzzy, think I will teach Danny Boy to dance too.  I try and he hops arounda little and likes it when I sing and howl but I don't know if he will waltz or anything.  Maybe some stepping.  That is my favorite dance.  Hubby won't step w me so maybe my dog will.

Chevyboy

Veggy, I might be wrong here, but I was told, with MY seroma, that it is filled with "fluid".... not blood....  Are you sure it is not a "Hematoma"?  Those are filled with blood, whereas seroma's are filled with "serum".... Maybe have that checked out....  wouldn't hurt.... 

Granny posted on another thread Bluebird!  Her Son is without a breathing tube now, but the procedure did not work.... So back to square one.  He WAS in intensive care, and had a seizure, but like I said, is out of ICU, with a "terrible" headache.... Have to get him better, then do something else, she posted.   They tried the Elana technique... did not work with his aneurysm. 

thefuzzylemon

Lisa...no worries my dear. We don't measure what gets to each of us.

Veggy...I'll have a car full of whatever you got girl!! Whoop it up!

LoveEssa...I choked on my tea at your post!! LOL looooooved it!

Chevy...I must have totally missed whatever is happening with Granny's boy...OMG. Has anyone heard from her? Hows she holding up?

Granny...prayers & thoughts coming your way.

dunesleeper

Veggy did you get your furnace fixed? When these things break, they break when they are most needed. I'm just a little south of you and it was plenty cold, with snow, here. I'm so glad my mother decided to come here to take me to my colonoscopy. Otherwise I would have been at her house for over 24 hours, wondering if my furnace was working or my birds were freezing.

Lisamarie, I know what a comfort smoking can be. I still get cravings for them occasionally. When I'm having bad anxiety and depression and don't care about doing what I need to do for my health those urges come up strong. Fortunately, I guess, I know I can't afford to smoke anymore. Seriously, with the cut in my income, there is no way I could pick up that addiction again. I hope you get a good night sleep tonight.

I'm having some severe cramping today. I had to get to bed. Sitting and standing wasn't working for me. Of course, I did manage to go downstairs for a large rosemary cracker with some olive oil. I brought it back up here and it was yummy. It was one day without eating. Now today I want food, food, food! LOL

lisamarie68

Thanks Fuzzy an dune ... I know it's so cold and snowey out here. My bed was sooo nice last night . I kept waking wanting to smoke but ate cereal instead .. lol .. I hope granny's boy is okay as well. 

Dune , I hope you feel better from the colonoscopy . I am not looking foward to my first for that. My boss always tries to feed me the right way organic and all . we were talking last night about a store we have here called wild by nature and just how expensive it is to eat healthy vs eating like crap .. anyway I voulenteer on her daughter's organic farm in summer time . I have learned  lot . now it seems it is time to start applying it . 

Me im off to work once again another 12 hour shift for me .. then I get to have day off tomorrow and it's my fav time .. My time with my granddaughter Brianna . I babysit every other sunday .. thats the time I get to really smile  

Have a great day ladies .. stay warm if you are in the cold like me ... if not enjoy the warmth ..

Hugs and love 

Lisamarie

sas-schatzi

Veggy, crap on both accounts, move a few feet away from the bedpan hopper(oldtime unit that bedpans were put into to clean them--sometimes the seal wasn't tight--you know what happened then--brown stuff on white uniforms was pretty self evident of what it was--ewhhh)

Rider in your pocket.

Linda so sorry about the fucking recurrence.

Lisamrie, with you on the smoking thing ugh, and the BF thing-- just packed mine up and out.

Granny, hope they can figure something out, will be praying.

To all, on the CYP450 thread, there is a guy named Greg Pawleski that is tracking allot of stuff re: chemo drugs. His knowledge is pretty ,pretty damn good. Likely would even do research on particular drugs if asked. He sites research articles and then gives an interpretation to make it easier to understand. I'll add link.

http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/73/topic/798301?page=1#idx_11

dogeyed

Thanks for the link, SASSY.

LINDA-n3, I'm telling you, girl, that is just so screwed up about them taking so dang long to do SOMETHING for all the junk they're finding, not to mention hours on the road.  A WHOLE MONTH!??  Obviously you need to release some anger at whomever is the MOST able to DO something about this, maybe someone running the place.

LISAMARIE, I'm jus dying to know how that bed felt to you!!!  If it's a tad hard, they got those egg-shell foam rolls you can lay on your bed and put the sheets on top, and if it's too spongy, something hard stuck under it will help like a couple lengths of cardboard together.  I have a spongy couch, I put a piece of cardboard, but one wasn't enough.  On the animal front, perhaps a kitty might work on the animal thing?  They've got so many kitty self-play things now, plus a napping/looking bench under a window, and he'll sleep while you're gone.  And they never have to go outside a a particular time because of a litterbox.

RYDER, I also took Taxol at the end of some other gruesome killers, and I agree with FUZZ, it's nowhere near as bad as whatever you were on before.  You can actually go to stores and visit people without looking like the living dead.  BUT for me, anyway, just the last three infusions knocked me back.

VEGGY, that was hilarious about no drinkng of cars whilst under influence.  Hahaha.  I quit drinking almost thirty years ago, but when we had to downsize and leave our home, it broke my heart, and out came the wine and cigs.  I had quit smoking ten years before.  But that drinking and smoking overall was a terrible experience.  But since then, I've had three times in six years where I had a swig of something to drink, so hasn't been an addictive thing.  But the cigs, ohhhhhh.  When I smoked that first Camel, it relaxed me so much, I just sunk right into the couch in a daze.  Unfortunately, it IS an uber-addictive wretch and I'm stuck with it again.  But do I give a shit?  Of course not.  We do whatever gets us thru our days.  Oh, but I'll quit again eventally.  And VEG, I am so annoyed at how so much crap pushes you around.  I think of you often.  When I read your heater blew up and smoked you out of your home in this weather, and this seroma stuff, I just leaned by head back and felt so rotten about just how much shit has been poured all over our sweet little girl.  DANG.

DUNE, wow, that is one clean cage,and so many activities in there!  No wonder your cockatiel (sorry I said parrot b4) is so well-groomed.  I couldn't believe what a wonderous cage you have, and again how every feather on your bird was in its perfect place.  And how clever the small netting to put around the bottom.  When we used to keep birds, there were always 50 million little seeds and shells all around the cages.  One time, tho, we bought a little bird bath that was quite tiny, shaped exactly like a real tub, with a mirror in the bottom, real cute.  And so we put our canary on the coffee table with the bath that had water in it, to see what might happen.  It was very funny.  He fluttered around the table just a little, but was very interested in this bath thing.  He swaggers on over there and has a look, drinks the water, and then HOORAY he got all the way in the bathtub and did that bathing technique they use, put his head under the water and let it run down his back, and then flipped his wings and shook all the water off.  I noticed yours had what looked like a large branch towards the bottom that made it all the way across the cage?  Now that's a good idea.  I hope the others dont mind me going on and on, but it brings back so many memories.  The last thing I'll mention is, unfortunately, as one of our birds got very old and didn't have any cage mates and wasn't as active, we happened to put a little mirror thing inside his cage so he could look at himself.  He wound up spending nearly all his time in front of that mirror.  I'm glad he liked what he was doing, but it was sad somehow.

FUZZ, I hope your general good mood lasts longer than it has been.  I've mentioned as many things as I can about what this stressor might be.  Right now I'm at the end of week two of total rest, and I can say my head is starting to clear up.  It definitely is not angry or scared or quite as confused anymore... well, most of the time.  I came across some mail that I really could not ignore, and it poured that swirling sewer stew into my head all over again, but I DID have some rest, and I was very determined, so I took care of it, had to go to the bank, but it was just one day split into two of misery, and as today is free time again, my head and mood is feeling much better.  Oh, how I wish lots more divine moments for you all.  Always, Gail

dunesleeper

Oh Gail, it is sooo cute to watch birds take birdie baths. Unfortunately, neither of the one's I have now are interested in bathing. I spray them every once in a while though. Birds I had previously would hop in and out of the bath water and dip their heads under and let the water run over them. They'd eventually be soaking wet. I have a bathtub just like you mentioned. It is orange. I have several different bathtubs. The mirror in the bottom does help to get them interested. However, when they feel the urge they will bathe in anything. My other bird, a parakeet named Soebe (I'm told Soebe is green in Japanese), loves the birdie in the mirror. Since my other parakeets died he spends all his time with the birdie in the mirror. It is kind of sad. I even leave the cage open, but he just wants to be with the birdie in the mirror.

ridergirl

Dogeyed glad to see you going on and on about the cockatiel.  it shows that at some point we can hope to begin to take pleasure in things we once enjoyed.  I, for one, say thanks for the reminder!

dunesleeper

Anonymous

LOL!  I needed that.