OMG They Found the Cure for Stupid

Anonymous

The Horse and the Chicken

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a
mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the
farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm
but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Porsche back
to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws
the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car
forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow
again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to
the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, 'I
think I can stand over the hole!' So he stretched over the width of
the hole and said, 'Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up.' And
the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.

The moral of the story:
If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Porsche to pick up chicks!

Makratz

LOL!!!

Eph3_12

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Makratz

EmilyInOntario

The horse in the hole reminds me of a true story..

Some years back SIL's father and brother, who were in charge of digging the graves for the dearly departed members of their church, completed the task the night before the funeral of one of the church members. Early the next morning they got a frantic call from the family who had driven past the church to make sure all was in readiness. Apparently what they found was a horse in their mother's grave! The horse had escaped from his field and fell in the hole during the night. It took some planning to get the appropriate winches and machinery to get the horse out before the funeral that afternoon..

Anonymous

That is too funny!

Anonymous

I do eat chocolate and perhaps that's why my nipple is a little dark.  It was dark chocolate.

Anonymous

Anonymous

I hope this doesn't offend anyone.  I apologize if it does, but I just couldn't resist.

sam52

Just followed a lorry (UK speak for truck) up the motorway (?highway) trying to control my laughter.......on the back was painted a BIG bundle of aparagus and the logo 'freshly clicked'....I was sure it said 'clucked'......

It is apparently asparagus season here in UK.....the restaurant I went to with my Dad proudly presented its 'asparagus menu' - of course I indulged....

I have spent HOURS reading these pages and nearly splitting my sides with laughter - till it really hurt! There are some truly brilliant minds at work here. I think my favourite pics are the garlic-butt and the KFC Witness Protection poster ..and the wonderful comments to accompany them!

Keep 'em comin'!!

Is there room  for one more in the hen house tonight?

JanetinVirginia

We could hold our annual clucking conference here...

Anonymous

Its not the cure, but it is funny...

thefuzzylemon

Sam.....new members will always have a place!! Do you cluck, chirp or beegok? Can you join the choir? Tin hat ready? Enough asparagus for the cure and to pass?

sam52

Awww...thanks, Fuzzy, for the welcome! My hours may not quite accord yours, but I cluck real good ! Another little clucker joins the coop.....

I can lay my hands on enough asparagus to keep us in joints for years to come.....I'm a real lay-ed back chick!

Yes, that's eggsaxctly what I mean........

Sam x (cluck, puff and pass.....)

Meece

Anonymous

My DH sent this one to me. He likes this thread too. I thought I would share his new founded cure...

enjoy!

www.http://photoblog.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/04/12/6454949-can-tobacco-cure-cancer

Meece

Bizarre!  The treatment area seems so dirty!  Looks like someplace CG might be.

Anonymous

He has the tin foil hat on! The foil looks like it has been recycled.

Meece

I'll bet it is cold laying on a metal table and being covered with wet cloth and foil.  May cure cancer but you get a nasty case of pneumonia.

dutchgirl6

I don't know about that, the patient kind of looks like a mummy, not sure that it would be a very positive experience.

EmilyInOntario

Well now, I know you can kill garden slugs with tobacco and water so if you have slugs you might be cured...not sure about cancer...

GirlFriday

Wait a minute...I thought you used beer to cure a slug covered garden! 

thenewme

LOLOLOL!!! "treatment includes the blowing of smoke from "divine cigarettes" infused with "nanotechnology" to remove their cancer causing "free radicals."

Ahhh, but this one cures cancer AND helps with the side effects!  

Anonymous

I was thinking with everyone puffing on pot and asparagus, the others could wear  tin foil hats, lay down and the smokers could blow the smoke into our ears. Its worth a try?!!

thenewme

Oh Veggy, I'd say it needs to be added to The Cure recipe! 

Don't hate me for my hat.

GirlFriday

thenewme: That looks just like my turbie towel gone space age!  I can't hate your for your hat...I think I'm in love with you!

Anonymous

I have to add to this thread, I had one person tell me that I got cancer because of all the wrong I did in my life!!!! OMG....hello, McFly????

GirlFriday

onetoughowoman (great handle btw...I think I'm getting a BC license plate that says TUFNIP!)  I get that judgement all of the time!  But my response always is to quote one of my favorite bumper stickers: BORN TO BE AN OLD WOMAN WITH NO REGRETS!

Makratz

Maybe McFly  is the Cure Guy?  It does rhyme...

Anonymous

I know I intimidate people. Perhaps that's why no one has ever said anything stoopid to my face. Guess I'm lucky. I don't suffer fools well and would probably be *most* impolite.

I like the innocent children comeback. I'm sure it is very effective.