OMG They Found the Cure for Stupid

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  • Omeggo
    Omeggo Member Posts: 275
    edited September 2012

    Hi Girls.  Since I'm new to this thread and haven't been keeping up on the new posts, I'll just have to post that I'm going to a 'cancer camp' this weekend.  I'm nervous about stupid people there, too, even though we are all in this together.  I'm also nervous about being stupid and saying stupid things...or not saying anything at all (which could also be stupid, right?)  I'm not exactily the model of one well socialized.  I'm actually a little on the nerd (nurd) side of the spectrum, except that I work out.  I wear glasses a lot, so what can I say?  (I'm a recovering contact lense wearer...)

    I wish I have had the time to read this thread from the beginning but I promise, PROMISE, to give it a shot starting next week!  I need the laughs BIG TIME and what I have read brought much pain (good pain) to my still sore pecs and foobs the other day.

    Keep me in your prayers, dear sophists, and you will be in mine.  Enjoy your weekend with all it's uh...runs and fun and sex of whatever (please let it be OUR's!  My DH has been very patient and we've been uh...resourceful, but you get my drift.)!!!! 

    The _______ 'new normal' (expletive deleted) is a very weird place...but I'm SOOOO glad you are here!

    xoxo

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  • proudtospin
    proudtospin Member Posts: 5,972
    edited September 2012

    OM....tell me how the weekend goes, I have applied and been accepted to several weekend survivor events but punked our on all for.....just could not get my butt to go hang for a full weekend if I did not know anyone.

    I felt guilty about dropping out but I just could not do a full weekend

    a dinner, yeah, local where I can split works better for me

    so report back if you can

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  • SimplyAudrey
    SimplyAudrey Member Posts: 242
    edited September 2012

    Gee....celebrities are "Standing Up to Cancer" tonight.  We're supposed to call in and donate.  Where are their checkbooks?  Is it their time that they are donating?  Sorry.....just not buying it.

    I think I'll take a pill and go to bed.

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  • marywh
    marywh Member Posts: 2,280
    edited September 2012

    Pill and bed sounds like a winner to me!

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  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited September 2012

    Well truly would like to have a real puff , but will settle for the asparagus, Thanks Nancy

    I wrote a thread that has lots of practical stuff. One section deals with all the paper having sex all over the place.

    http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/5/topic/748296?page=1

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  • chabba
    chabba Member Posts: 5,065
    edited September 2012

    I think that came from a post of mine about an essay on the sex life of paper clips, you know how they multiply in dark desk drawers?

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2012

    Why doesn't my money multiply in my wallet? All those bills laying close to each other and nothing?

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  • GmaFoley
    GmaFoley Member Posts: 7,091
    edited September 2012

    Veggy I know that one and now I found out that I didn't get financial aide for my surgery back in August - add another $12,000 to my bill stack... 

    Edit - I don't have any real insurance - just a label of "no lapse of insurance" if you know what I mean (insurance maxes out at $1000)  Can someone pass me 2 aspargus rolls - I have never REALLY smoked because of my Asthma but right now puff puff cluck cluck sounds good! 

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  • Omeggo
    Omeggo Member Posts: 275
    edited September 2012

    Hi Everyone!

    I'll write about my 'cancer camp' experience later...I have to work right now but I'll give you all a brief report soon.

    Gma, negotiate that bill with your service provider/hospital, wherever that bill is from.  I had a hospital experience once when between insurances and they brought a 10,000.00 bill down to around $3500.

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  • GmaFoley
    GmaFoley Member Posts: 7,091
    edited September 2012

    Omeggo - That is what they did with my LE therapy... The way this hospital works is that they will offer you 35% off if you PAY NOW... LOL.. as if... but after the form letter denial they send you a bill and that is when we find the REAL amount they are going to charge us and they stipulate the monthly payment... then we can call and tell them we can't pay said amount and negotiate... but being a big hospital group they have you tied from both ends .. just sit and wait... 

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  • SillyMama
    SillyMama Member Posts: 173
    edited September 2012

    More on paperclip sex lives:

    From a recent experience, my studied professional observation is that not only do paperclips have a prodigious sex life, but they are actually able to continue to mate and reproduce IN THE AIR.

    While I was removing an item from a top shelf, something fell, knocked off a closed box of paperclips, which went into an airborne mating frenzy. By the time I began to scoop them up, they had already exibited at least a 10% population increase, and I can't come close to getting them back into the box.

    The other office supplies are getting jealous of the paperclips' current state of freedom. Now I'll need to upgrade their previous stiff paper box home to a more expensive and expansive plastic one. My only hope is that the new box will have a clasp that will serve as paperclip birth control.

    I'm beginning to envision the Office Depot's row of plastic boxes as a "Planned Parenthood" clinic...

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  • Dakota212
    Dakota212 Member Posts: 1,153
    edited September 2012

    That is hysterical. I bet in person I would have been crying from laughing so hard !!! Thanks for sharing ;)

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  • Omeggo
    Omeggo Member Posts: 275
    edited September 2012

    Gma,  ugh.  I'm sorry to hear of this plight.  Good thing we can learn to say f*$^* 'em and let them wait.  They won't take your pets, your car, or your first born, right?  I'm grateful I have a different insurance but I admit that, at times, I wait for a shoe to drop and some kind of bill that says, oh by the way, and then get hit in the solar plexis.  But I've learned since 2008, banks are not my friend, and any big business isn't either.  My ethics and values actually shifted when I realized that they (banks in particular) 'bank' on my good ethics and values, you know what I mean?

    You will prevail and that's what is important.  Credit scores or whatever, are a mere reflection of a failing economy and 'our' running out of idealism. 

    Oh...a little off topic and not exactly full of levity.  I'll leave it in anyway. :}  Thank you all for tolerating my crabbiness this morning.  Didn't really know I was until noticing that I'm sick of not feeling all that great.  My Anastrozole SE"s are kicking in and I don't like the feeling of that at all.  Also, being at 'cancer camp' kinda reinforced the idea that I really do have a disease, an ass kicking one at that.  I had so much grief there it is indescribable. 

    Big foobie hug to you, Gma, and  to all.  Thank you  again for allowing my little crabby tidbit.

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  • Omeggo
    Omeggo Member Posts: 275
    edited September 2012

    OK...I won't be serious anymore.  Who's got the scoop on clear packing tape HAVING SEX WITH ITSELF???  How many minutes of precious time have I lost in my workaholic life due to that? It makes me go beserk and once I even thought I'd had a heart attack!!!!

    It IS a moral issue, after all.

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  • gardengumby
    gardengumby Member Posts: 7,305
    edited September 2012

    and don't forget plastic wrap - if anything is masturbatory (new word?) it's plastic wrap - especially the kind you get at Costco.....

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  • GmaFoley
    GmaFoley Member Posts: 7,091
    edited September 2012

    Of course - you also have your first aid kit that have ancient bandaids that stick to the wrapper and come off at the last minute and fold on themselves..

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  • Omeggo
    Omeggo Member Posts: 275
    edited September 2012

    That would mean that we should call a 'masterbatorium' so that we don't go crazy! I think the word (masterbatory) really is a word!  Just tried to look it up but my Internet Explorer isn't in a good mood, either.

    What about wire clothes hangers, too?  And there there are the little shower curtain rings, and a few thousand other things. All are like, 'way worse than red lights or uber-friendly people at check out lines!  But they (the lattermost ) are the most likely to really procreate, in real life, biologically speaking. 

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  • SimplyAudrey
    SimplyAudrey Member Posts: 242
    edited September 2012

    ALL!  GEE!  FINALLY SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN!  CHEMO BRAIN EXISTS!!!

    'Chemo Brain' After Breast Cancer Backed by Study - (U.S. News & World via NewsPoints Desk)

    (Ref: U.S. News & World) September 9th, 2012 Tags:

    • Breast Cancer
    • Clinical Research (R&D)
    • Study results published in the Journal of Clinical Oncology suggest that patients with breast cancer treated with chemotherapy are at risk for mild mental deficits known collectively as "chemo brain," as reported in U.S. News & World.
    • For the study, researchers reviewed existing research on brain function in breast cancer patients who received standard doses of chemotherapy for at least six months and found that, on average, these patients had mild impairments in verbal abilities, such as difficulty choosing words, and visual-spatial abilities, such as getting lost more easily.

    WHERE HAVE THESE PEOPLE BEEN, IN A CLOSET?

    Back to your regularly scheduled frivolity.

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  • chabba
    chabba Member Posts: 5,065
    edited September 2012

    I almost peed my pants laughing.  Guess I really started something with the sex life of paper clips!  We did discuss the sex life of wire hangers but even when we worked on that essay they had already started using birth control.  With advent of wash and wear clothing suitable for work they quit reproducing so prolifically.  

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  • SillyMama
    SillyMama Member Posts: 173
    edited September 2012

    Chabba,

    Glad you did the original research on mating habits and sex lives of inantimate objects...

    Regarding the clothes hangers... I think there is another therapy to combat overproduction. ... Our dry cleaner accepts them back for rehabilitation.

    As you might expect, once they are returned, the rehab meetings are closed, but it seems that part of the therapy involves separating them and reincorporating them into lightly starched society as soon as they are deemed able. In my husband's closet, the therapy seems to be less successful than hoped, and we have about a 90% recitivism rate. ...

    Tsk, tsk. I guess they should maybe try to get the hangers into a 12-step program. But from what I've seen, I'm not so sure they really do want to change, after experiencing such a life of fashion and travel.

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  • Alyson
    Alyson Member Posts: 4,308
    edited September 2012

    It is definitely a conspiracy. It is not only indoor items that multiply mysteriously. We had rocks that had been dug out so we could repair a retaining wall multiply so much that we couldn't get them back in again. Think we need the tinfoil hats

    And pass the asparagus. puff puff

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  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited September 2012

    Now what to I do with the thorn in my ass?( butt cheek.) I run shatzi near a ranch. Lots of thorns.  She jumps back into the car on my side. I usuauly look at the seat before I sit, apparently missed one. Got the major thorn out, but I feel it when I sit, I can't find it. One little thorn. Definitely uncomfortable.

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  • GmaFoley
    GmaFoley Member Posts: 7,091
    edited September 2012

    Ouch Sas :(  watch it and take care of it..

    Per a few suggestions, I did start a new topic - to help vent and laugh all at the same time - its called: Doctor confusion: what the Doc says/what the doc means.. I found a get well card that started this and thought it could be fun to mull through what the doc Really said... Just wanted my friends to know what this was about - I did put it in the LE topic, but it is for everyone.. 

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  • marywh
    marywh Member Posts: 2,280
    edited September 2012

    WE were on our way to the beach a couple weeks ago and passed a sign at a car lot advertising body parts. My husband who has a pretty warped sense of humor says Oh look you can go get a boob there! so me with the same warped sense of humor says yeah but only if you go in and get you a piece of anantomy that works too. My 21 year old son thought we were nuts.

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  • GmaFoley
    GmaFoley Member Posts: 7,091
    edited September 2012

    ROFL Mary, I'm glad I'm not the only warped mind here - puff puff... cluck cluck..

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  • Dakota212
    Dakota212 Member Posts: 1,153
    edited September 2012

    My dr didn't know what to say when she saw the path report. She said she called to say " I don't even know what to say to u anymore" so comforting that my life is what it is and even the dr has nothing to say. I told her to get her voodoo doll out.

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  • GmaFoley
    GmaFoley Member Posts: 7,091
    edited September 2012

    Dakota:  Don't you just want to scream when they say things like that!

    Guess this calls for a big asparagus! pass it on...

     asparagus 

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  • Dakota212
    Dakota212 Member Posts: 1,153
    edited September 2012

    Gmafoley-



    YES!!!! And i work in the medical field to boot. I try very hard to put my patients at ease!!! Thanks for the asparagus !! 😄

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  • marywh
    marywh Member Posts: 2,280
    edited September 2012

    Along with paper clips and coat hangers I seem to be having big problems with almost empty milk jugs and empty pepperidge farm garlic bread boxes procreating in my refrigorator-any one else with this problem?

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  • Alyson
    Alyson Member Posts: 4,308
    edited September 2012

    Not sure what to advise Sas, do you need the asparagus!!!??? Pass to Sas and have a really big puff.

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