I say yes, you say no, OR People are Strange
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Sun===Read both threads,like the Munchausen. I read many Threads on here before I came cross one thread that I really liked. That thread "disappeared" and I gave much thought to quitting. I found a "strange" thread full of familiar names so I decided BCO would be a nice place to be. I have enjoyed the camarderie, eventho I dont post as much as my brain wishes my fingers could fly over the keyboard.
My DX was dcis stage 0. I had some nodes removed,not many just mastectomy on my rt side 8/2010 then a mastectomy 3/2011,no chemo or rads. I felt guilty being on this thread but so many others were just BORING!!!!
I dont know what you each have been through as far as BC but you are inspiring. So unless you ask me to leave,Im staying PUT.
Love,Hugs and however many Sorts you need each and everyone of you have from me ALWAYS---------kad2kar
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kad2kar, - LOL! Didn't even think of ever asking anyone, least of all YOU, to "leave." Just be careful with info, just learned from a pm that bco allows diagnosis, etc. from our personal information to be googled. Yuck. I NEVER ( NEVAH) put personal information on this website. Figured that was happening, but like you, just camaraderie, wouldn't ever use for anything else. In such a litigious world, they have to use the pablum language they do under the guise of information.
My bc has been as kind to me as bc can be, AND I've got a FANTASTIC doc at Dana Farber watching out for me
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kad2kar, I've never not enjoyed an entry here from you. You know, cancer is cancer no matter how little or much you have. No need to feel bad about any ' just ' DCIS. You still had the fear, overall upset, need of whatever txs you chose.....you are just as much a part of this as anyone. I hope you never feel bad.
Now I sometimes feel bad -- now and then my brain just hits stall and won't pick up when I need it too. I look foolish and inane....but life goes on. Yes...I do use a lot of graphics when I can't get it together. I did have some transitory amnesia with a thyroid blow-out ( 7 yrs. in the making ) stroke, then cancer dx. Its a pain when I can't think but da**ed if I'm going to quit.
Jackie
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Remembering my Dad today. He departed for a better place 18 yrs. ago.
Some felt he was tough, but I've come to appreciate who he was and that below the gruffness was real honest to goodness love, compassion and care. Some of the things he often said to describe situations that hang with me to this day. I wouldn't mind if they stay for my lifetime.
Couldn't find his a** if he had both hands on it at once.
Doesn't know his a** from a hole in the ground.
Doesn't know enough to pour p** out of a new boot.
Lost somewhere between a and b and never to be found.
and one of my all time favorites always said with a grin....about people who were just simply overcome almost with their own brilliance..... a real smart fellow. A real F***Smeller.
Always twisting words just a bit --- more meant I think for us ( his two daughters ) not too get too mouthy and certainly not to "act" smart too often which was why he usually grinned when making some of his statements. He meant them, but just didn't want us -- especially when we hadn't full rationale, to make the same judgments. Must have worked well. We never did until we were much older.
Recall when he was working with a slightly older kid from our town......at a farm. Every day this young man would stare at the egg sandwich my Mom would make for my Dad to eat. He usually had only a p-nut butter sandwich. Finally my Dad could stand it no longer.....so on that day he told this young man at lunch-time --- you know my wife makes this every day and I'm sure getting tired of egg sandwiches. Would you mind to trade me. He later came home ( as sometimes things said, get out when you don't expect it ) and told my Mom what he'd said to Sonny. Said you wouldn't believe how fast he was taken up on the offer.
Sorry......just a few remembrances of this very special man in my life whom I called Dad. They aren't great likely......not quite like when we went to Hoover Dam, or the Grand Canyon, or a few other places, but they are things that I lived with and loved about him everyday. I would have wanted no other in my life.
Jackie
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Kad2kar, you are one of the mainstays of our thread! It is always a special treat to see you! You'd better not think of going anywhere, because we will just put out a strange posse and find you and bring you home!
I occasionally read in other threads - DIEP and DCIS ones in particular (I took a look at Beesie's thread and sighed - she knows so much and is so good at sharing it that unfortunately she becomes a target for some people - very sad). I rarely post on either because I don't want to scare anyone - two-timer with DCIS, a 20-hour DIEP surgery (punctuated by an earthquake), and about 8" of my incision opening up. I am fine now, of course, but the story is enough to give anyone the yips!
Jackie, that was a lovely tribute to your dad. Happy Father's Day to all the DHs out there, to all the single mothers struggling to be both mom and dad, and to all the women who have lost their beloved dads. Mine died 35 years ago and was absent from my life for 12 years before that, so the less said, the better. I am glad that there were women who had wonderful fathers.
Happy beautiful day in the mid-Atlantic!
L
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RL - thanks for making sure kad2kar stays around - no sense "messin" with you ;-)))
Felt badly about Bessie getting belted too - think her most recent post on the thread she started speaks to the heart of it. Those will experience are getting drowned out, and feeling less & less willing to go to bat to get information posted. Still, site is source of sometimes camaraderie, and when we KNOW someone, am sure personal advice can be helpful.
I personally feel like an Arimidex How to Complete 6 years CHAMPION. And give thanks to Lowrider, who is with Athena, Apple, RobinWendy and many more wonderful women, for her good advice. But as Bessie says, the voices of experience are so overwhelmed with the blather, it's not worth it in the general sense to keep "playing it forward" as it's like hitting a brick wall. Time for FUN.
Which means my garden, in the sunshine - YEAH, SUNSHINE. Only in the 60's which is downright STRANGE for 6/15, but the date means the black flies are supposed to be leaving - PLZ somebody remind them to go so I can take off my horse bonnet net :-)
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Sunny, I have forgotten...are your black flies like our horse flies ( sorry E ) which are quite large and will try to follow you to the ends of the earth to get on you and bite you.
Around here when you see someone swinging their arms rapidly in propeller fashion you KNOW their is a horse-fly dive bombing them. They are relentless and every one dreads when we get enough heat to start their search for 'victims'.
Jackie
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Just catching up here. Sunny, you had me wondering who the heck is this Bessie? Fortunately Libby straightened me out -- our faithful, knowledgeable, always-helpful BEESIE! Yep, she has gotten beaten up in the past by those who haven't done their homework, but she still stands strong!
Kad -- you're an absolute delight to be here among us!
I lost my dad to lymphoma in 1976. Not a day goes by that I don't spend some time thinking of him, and how very, very lucky I was to have him as my father. Is there a better tribute than that? I feel so badly for Libby and others who grew up with fathers "in absentia", and especially badly for those whose dads loyally served their country but never got to come home.
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jackie - these black flies are little , MEAN, MEAN, MEAN bloodsucking creatures which seem to LOVE areas around the ears - really vicious little demons. We're inundated from "Mother's Day to Father's Day" - all the horses of course wear "bonnets" and most of us who love to garden do too. Give thanks to EMI for their sea to summit head nets! Which are very fine mesh, and fit easily over a camp hat, mine is the one I bought during chemotherapy which says "No Hair Day" on the brim. Still makes me smile.
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Hi Guys,Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there.
OMG .. this picture is huge. Mods .. maybe you can help me make it smaller.
This is my favorite picture of my dad. I really miss him today. I had to run up to Roanoke today and I played his favorite music on the way up. Some days I just miss him more than others .. and today was one of them. Sometimes, I can't catch my breath when I realize I'll never see him again.
Libby ... My early memories of my dad are pretty scary .. he wasn't a "kid" person. But as I became older, he became more fun and easy to talk to. My fondest memories of my dad are in the years just before he died.
Sunnyflowers ... I can't stand all the bugs flying around. I've started taking an old putter with me when I walk the dogs just so I can knock down the cobwebs before I walk into them.
Jackie ... Enjoyed the really neat note about your dad.
Tim left early this a.m., so I didn't see him this morning to tell him Happy Father's Day. I did have a nice surprise for him yesterday for his birthday, as he'll be gone on Wednesday when it comes around. I really hope his kids remember to call him today.
hugs to everyone,
Bren
PS ... Special hugs for Kad2kar ... I love ya girlfriend!
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Dear Bren-2007
Hope the revised size is right, if not please PM please.
To re-size photos, just click photo and drag bottom right corner up and in to make smaller.
Glad to help.
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Hi Happy Father's Day to all the wonderful fathers out there. I always was very close to my father, who is here but not here, pretty far along the Alzheimer's trail, but he still knows me and he can still joke on occasion. My husband has been a wonderful father. I'm too tired and it's too late to be eloquent as so many of you have been, but I feel so lucky to have had these two men in my life.
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Thanking you all for the LOVE, But you are the ones filled with LOVE!!!
I also felt bad for the Beesie attack, she has done so much research and sharing just that alone deserves respect from everyone on this board. She is correct in the mission statement. Those showing their displeasure should READ the statement. Others should look into Athena's thead. I'm going to finish this little section with BOIL.
Someday I will learn how to post pictures also,because so much can be said in those little spaces.
My Dad was a good Dad,BUT HE WAS A COP. My DH and our 2 boys are terrific Dads. One is a free spirit and his childrearing drives me nuts, the other,a Goody2shoes and his childrearing drives me nuts. I love them all.
Alexandria--Book?? ======kad2kar
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Bren, what was your dad's favorite music? My dad really loved Johnny Horton. :-)
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I never inter-acted with Beesie though I did at a few odd ( once in a great while I would cruise through the threads to see a larger picture of BC. Org ) times read her posts. She has always made sense to me when I did. Kindness and caring is never wrong. I'm at fault many times in not doing a CAREFUL reading and eval of the content and when one feels.....even a tiny bit threatened, over a path they feel they want to take, I think tempers can enter in and things said and getting back to the FIRST intent may be really difficult.
So, I do think/hope that all the "attack/challenging" is done and maybe something good can come along.
Going to be hot and humid here today.....a/c definitely has to go back on. Lots of lightning and thunder in this morning's storm. Lightning struck somewhere very close to us and hoping everything is fine. We did not experience any power surges or anything else......but it was enough to bring yourself up out of the chair and make sure everything on our property was ok. We were.
Jackie
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Hi everyone. i just spent some time reading Beesie's thread. I hadn't realized what was going on elsewhere in BCO land - haven't been anywhere but this thread for a while. I come here for the community, for the wonderful women on this thread who have become friends, and don't feel any urge to check other sites. There are so many more knowledgeable people on this forum to help newbies, and I don't need support at this point. Beesie was very helpful and knowledgable when I was diagnosed with multigrade multifocal DCIS three years ago, and recently passed my three year BMX anniversary. It is infuriating to see her attacked for telling the truth. Kad2kar and Pip, I agree that what seems to be going on is a subset of Munchausen.
Kad2 - thanks for asking. My book, Imminent Risk, is finished. I am searching for an agent and/or publisher and going to 2 thriller/mystery conferences over the summer. I'm giving it a year and then I'm self-publishing. So far, the people who've read it have liked it.
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Morning Everyone!Mods .. thanks for making the picture smaller! I can resize if I copy the picture from my picture folder, but didn't know how to resize when copying from Facebook.
Enjoyful ... My dad loved Waylon and Willie and the Eagles and Van Morrison. I was listening to Van Morrison on my ride to Roanoke yesterday. Moon Dance holds such fond memories for me. My dad was living out in the country on some property he owned after he and my mom divorced, and before he remarried. My brother, sister and I went out to visit him one night and bbq. It was so awesome out there ... a full moon was in the sky and Van Morrison was playing from the camper.
Sunnyflowers ... I've been keeping up with Beesie's thread. I have it in favorites. I've added a few comments, but am fresh out of ideas on how to approach the situation she describes. It's very hard to know when being encouraging somehow changes into enabling.
Jackie ... Going to be hot here all week too. In the 90's. Need to get moving on my mowing and walking the dogs before it gets too hot.
Kad2kar .... Love the description of your two sons. Do they live near you? I am so far away from my son and miss my grandsons terribly. My dad was a gambler ... of everything. There was a period of time when he was a "land baron" and spent his days golfing. I never knew what to say when friends would ask what my dad did. He was a charming wheeler-dealer kind of guy. He love being outdoors and living in the country. He had a neat little avocado ranch the last 10-15 years of his life, and developed a passion for making sourdough bread!
Alexandria ... I hope your book is a huge success! You have a real way with words and I enjoy reading your notes here.
Well ... guess that's about it for this morning. I had no work come in over the weekend and I'm getting nervous about it. I applied for another psych transcription job ... it's for 6 days a week ... and have not heard back. I'm getting discouraged.
hugs,
Bren
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Blue, thanks for the article. Great how one person/article can collate everything together in one spot that you have felt and know is true for you and so very, very likely true for so many others as well. Of course I end up with great envy wishing I could be as cogent when I attempt to speak about things...especially those that upset. No wonder the GOP and far right is in such a mess.
My dad was not a "music" sort of person. One could find him listening to news most of the time. He was a Republican, but then back in those days, Republicans for the most part had the ability to propose and do so many VERY decent things. I think sometimes it was harder to "choose" then who you hoped would get end up as President. I think I have said before....my dad was a very hard worker, but also extremely fast and efficient. His work was always top-notch, but most of the time while others were still in the throes of their labors, whatever it might be, mowing the lawn, roofing the house, my Dad would long since have cleaned up and got himself parked in front of the t.v. to watch some of the programs he loved. He was not much for other programs ( entertainment only ) of the day, but could sit for hours if it were news.
We had the first ( for home use ) t.v. in town. The first to get them were actually the three taverns that played such a prominent role in life growing up here. My dad, always recognizing things that would be a life-long item, knew that gathering together the money for something so elaborate would be difficult. He went to the one tavern owner and contracted to "work" the Sunday shift for as long as it took to pay off the t.v. he hoped the tavern owner would purchase and give to him. A handshake later, the t.v. was ordered and in due course, it began its life sitting in our house while my Dad dutifully went every Sunday....who knows how long as I was just a kid then, to tend bar until the t.v. was paid off.
Things often took place like that back in those days. People agreed on things and followed through. They were full of integrity back then....so straight-forward in their commitments. Some things about the good ole' days were so very good. No false standards....nothing hidden. No back-biting.....just a handshake and a bountiful honest life took off to soar.
Jackie
edited for a word that was spelled correctly but was the wrong word entirely. The word was lost and it has now been changed to long in the second paragraph.
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Jackie .. your dad sounds like a neat guy.Too hot already to mow. Did walk the dogs and we're all hot and sweaty now! Going to keep searching for a job today.
hugs,
Bren
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Blue - thanx for that link - and awesome it was written in 2012. Still so true. Hope you're feeling better, and have found an effective pain control.
Bren - there were several issues I thought were important in Bessie's OP. The way the "mission" of this site has become so "inclusive" as to be not as functional for women with bc. Living in such a litigious world, the info on a mass exposure ( which is needed to generate advertising revenue) site becomes more what I call "pablum." Depending on the TYPE of bc, geographic location, I refer anyone who asks me ( which seems to be many cuz I'm active with several support groups) where to find the most FACTUAL information. The American Cancer Society IMHO still has the most valuable FREE printed information, and well updated. As for "camaraderie" that too has been badly damaged ( again, IMHO) by what's happened to this site.
Gorgeous GORGEOUS bright blue sunny dry almost 80 day in western MA - lots of flowers on the blackberry, blueberry, raspberry bushes on my property. Friend has so much rhubarb, which I really like, I get plenty, which is great cuz it takes up MUCH too much room for my small gardens.
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Sunny, though it does take a lot of room, rhubarb is also a rather pretty plant. My mom dearly loved rhubarb. She would make rhubarb 'anything', and always cleaned and washed, and put in freezer bags as much as she could so that she could enjoy her own home-grown rhubarb long after the plant quit producing for the year. My mother was quite a cook -- loved trying out recipes and Dh and I loved to be the guinea pigs.
Bren, my dad was ( much like I think yours was ) a little difficult ( very high standards ) when I was young and having to be taught the multitude of things parents always taught their children back then, and I did go through a period where it seemed I was nearly dis-liked by them and I did a little dis-liking back. I got older and reason prevailed and I learned that my folks didn't really dislike me -- maybe were exasperated now and then or discouraged about the length of time it seemed for me to 'grow' well. The older I became, the easier our life together became. My dad passed in 1996 and my Mom in 1998. She did not go because she couldn't tolerate life without him -- she actually had a disease process going on all the while my Dad was ailing with PD. I miss her as much often as I do him.
In hind-sight I'm thankful every day for both of them. I am who I am ( and I can look back at the sign posts, and milestones ) and can trace the development, and while some people may think I'm not much, that would be their problem because I know exactly what it took, and I experienced all the sweat, tears, miss-giving, and heart-aches that it took to bring me to the ripe old age of 68 where I can look back in wonder and feel total love for my parents and overall satisfaction about where I am now. I think I'm just like most of you here.
Jackie
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Blue, great article.
Re Beesie's thread:
I am thinking that some people are expecting a lot from BCO.org. There are certainly reliable medical sites to help each of us with our particular ailments. Not to mention our own health care professionals. This is the place I come to for discussions of our individual experiences. And to keep in touch with the women that have become important in my life.
I do not feel responsible for what any individual might take from this site and use as a guide to their tx. I do not know what their experiences are. Once a suggestion has been given, I have no control over how it is taken. Nor would I want that control. If they have mental or emotional issues, I am certainly unable to address that on an Internet forum, especially if they have lost the ability to think reasonably.
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Pip ... looking for the "like" button re Beesie's thread... keep forgetting there's a little thingy for that.
hugs,
Bren
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That's the ticket Pip.....reasonably. I didn't read the whole thread but some of the posts are totally nuts! Can't be bothered to read more. One individual has everything under the sun wrong with her yet doesn't want to go to a doctor????????? Head Case!
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Blue = LOL, guess whatever it was, you'll have to rephrase it???
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Time out chair for Blue.
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Holy smokes ... what happened to Blue's note? I didn't have a chance to read it, so I don't know what's going on.Big thunderstorm blowing in right now. Poor Tank, he's really scared and the rain is coming down sideways. Better check NOAA just to make sure there are no tornado warnings for this area.
hugs,
Bren
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LOL I can't remember what I wrote. Dementia, anyone?
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tee, hee...Blue - sounds like good sense to me...
how are you feeling? any meds help with the pain?
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