Calling all TNs

concernedhubbyalan

We just found out yesterday that my DW has TN bc and is stage 3c and not the stage 2 that she was originally dxed with.

Toss this in with the fact that she had terrible comlications w her tram flap procedure, this has been a rotten two months.

TNBCinSTL

I'm so sorry Alan. I wish I had words of wisdom, but that just plain sucks, and it IS rotten. I'm sure it's going to be a hard year in truth. Be there for her and let your friends be there for you, and vent away, we will listen. big hugs (())

Luvmydobies

Thanks everyone for the good wishes! We are home. The contrast gave me diarrhea right before the scan and my stomach still feels rumbly and gassy. Ugh. But the scan itself wasn't bad.

Alan I'm sorry to hear about your wife. My thoughts and prayers are with you!!

slv58

Luv, I'm happy your done. Sorry you had SE!

Alan why the change in stage? I'm sorry, don't let your mind go- we are here for you. My recurrence was measured at biopsy as 2.1 now it's over 3-again! I've decided to not be defined by percentages and just go with the positive info I get from my Dr.s. I hope they have given you the info you need- hugs

Allydp

Alan - I am so very sorry to hear this. You and your wife are both in my thoughts and prayers. And we're all here for you.

Luv - that stinks about the tummy issues, but glad it's over and you're home. Now we just need the next couple to fly by so you can get the all clear!

Tobycc

thanks for all the good wishes: had you under my blankets during the scan as it was so cold! Home now, wait begins. Luv, glad you made it also: hope the rumbly tummy goes bye bye

DH: I want to say it truly is just a number, but somehow I don't think that is going to make it any easier for you. Am wishing and praying that March and April begin two GREAt months. Please know we are all here, as Ally said

Luvmydobies

Toby, glad you're home. Hope you get good results soon! I was more worried about the contrast earlier but like you said, now the wait begins! Did they say when you should expect results? My paper said maybe a week but my doc's nurse said a few days at my appointment on Monday. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried. Trying to let go and let God!!

Cocker_Spaniel

LUV sorry about the diarrhoea and the rumbly tummy but at least it's all over apart from results. I know it doesn't help to say try not to worry but perhaps try and fill your mind with something you really enjoy doing.  In your pocket for good news next week.

Toby why do they make us wait when they know we are so anxious.  In your pocket as well as LUV for good news next week.

Alan sorry for such bad news.  Cancer sucks big time.  Sending hugs to you and your wife.

slv58

Toby, glad your home and done! I always wish it was warmer in there- when I had my MRI I asked for more blankets.

I hope the wait is quick, time to indulge yourself!

Lisaj514

I like the way this was expressed as sometimes I did not feel like I was fighting but just accepting the things that had to be done to me and tolerating it. This is from a book that this gentleman wrote on his experience with Hodgkins lymphoma, chemo and bone marrow transplant. He is a professor at syracuse university and he wrote a book called The Boring Patient.I like the thought that the chemo is battling the cancer and we are at the home front sacrificing to support the war effort" So hard to accept a lack of control. Sometimes we are the fighters but usually we are behind the front lines of that fight

Meadow

Alan I am so sorry and please let your wife know we all support her and hold her up

concernedhubbyalan

Thanks, I'll keep it mind.

It so bizarre. I'm a veteran who's seen combat, I've been divorced and had a nasty custody battle (my first marriage was a terrible experience), haa stroke, and all kinds of horror in my life. 

Yet, nothing compares with this. It just doesn't.

concernedhubbyalan

My darling's oncologist is an excellent surgeon, lousy communicator. 

The chemo oncologist went over the pathology report with ud and explained what it all meant. It's how we found out she has stage 3c and that her cancer is tn. We're not exactly sure where we got stage 2 from, but it seemed right, so we figured that's what it was.

The big monkey wrench in all of this is the fact that her tram flap reconstruction got massively infected and she had to have one of the breasts removed. (my dw calls it a trilateral mastectomy--God bless her, she still has a sense of humor). So far, the only thing we've concentrated on was wound care and recovery.

TNBCinSTL

Lisa, thanks for that excerpt. Awesome, I love it!

Luv & Toby - waiting & praying with you. I'm sure as with all waits - nerve wracking! pls know I'm thinking of you.

Alan - glad she has a sense of humor, her attitude will help get you through, as will your love and care. Sometimes boards like this and internet are good in that they help you know what questions to ask so you can be her best advocate. I felt the same way w/my docs - not so forthcoming about stuff. Glazed over triple neg as if it was just more information that didnt mean anything. I had to look it all up myself.

If there's anything you need help with, I'm sure this board is a great place for you to land as it will be a great resource or place for resources (not to mention support to know you're not alone!!)

Luvmydobies

Thanks Becky! I didn't hear anything today. Trying to keep the scary thoughts at bay! I keep thinking if it was negative they would've called today but hopefully the doctor just didn't have time to read it or something like that!

Tobycc

Luv, my trend will extend to you. My favorite ARNP called today: after I left a message reminding her she didn't want me to go through the weekend

NED, NED, NED!!! NO EVIDENCE of DISEASE

I literally fell on my knees in my closed office and gave thanks: T^{hen called DH}

^{Thanks so much for all the prayers and being in my overalls ladies: we all , i mean we ALL are gonna kick this!!!}

^Hugs

TNBCinSTL

TOBY - wooooooooohoooooooooooo!!!!! SO happy for you!!! I think I will have some champagne to celebrate!!! I feel like already every bit of your news on this board is a little bit for all of us.

Let's keep this good energy going for LUV - pray pray praying for you!! I'm going to light a candle, have some champagne and send out some good vibes to you LUV!!!

Luvmydobies

WooHoo Toby!!!! So happy for you!!

Thanks Becky! I'm praying for you as well, as you continue your treatment! You'll continue to do well!!!

Allydp

YAY Toby!! Wonderful, wonderful news!!

Luv - you're next! I definitely don't think it means bad news that you didn't hear today. I've had tons of scans in the last year and the only next day results I've ever gotten are on bone scans. Everything else always takes at least 48 hours. I'm sure you'll hear Monday, but it stinks you have to wait out the weekend.

Alan - your wife sounds like a strong, courageous woman. Her attitude will help her get through this, along with your love and strength by her side. I have always felt this is harder on the spouse. I truly don't know how my husband managed to hold everything together...juggling work, taking over the household chores, taking me to all my appointments...all while feeling helpless I'm sure. My heart goes out to you. Just remember to take care of yourself too.

Lisa - thanks for sharing that excerpt. I felt the same at times.

slv58

Toby- yahooooo! Doing a happy dance for you- that is such great news!

Luv, your next- I hope you get that good call mon!

Lisa I liked that excerpt as well, explains it well- I sometimes get annoyed at the 'fight' analogy, and I was never really sure why.

Alan, you sound like such a supportive husband- you will obviously be her rock through this, thank you from every woman who knows how important that is!

anotherNYCGirl

I am so happy to read Toby's update!! Now let;s hear same from you, Luv and Ally!

Becky and Alan, - welcome to the boards that we all wish that we didnt need, but are so glad that we found!!

Lisa, - thanks for sharing that excerpt. I copied it and sent it on to a friend dealing with pancreatic cancer and ongoing chemo.

The support, knowledge and 'sense of family' here has helped me deal with all this crummy stuff this past year.

Wishing everyone a good weekend, - and a warm one!

Meadow

So happy for you Toby!

((((Luv))))

Alan, we are thinking of you and your wife with many many hugs

Teka

natL12

Alan - sending hugs and warm good wishes to both you and your wife. I'm only guessing, but I think it's just as hard on a spouse as it is on a cancer patient, no matter what kind or stage of cancer it is.

Triple negative....when I first heard the term from my surgeon's assistant, I thought "Oh good, better to be negative for something than positive!"  How naïve I was.

Nat

slv58

Nat, I had to chuckle when I read your reaction because that was what came out of my husbands mouth when we were told. My MO said, sadly that's not the case with breast cancer and for the first time I saw tears swell up in his eyes.

I hope everyone is having a stress free week end.

Luvmydobies

Haha! Nat and Shari, my husband thought the same thing. Men! Bless their hearts...

I'm having major scanxiety!! Do you ladies think that they would've contacted me soon after my scan if they saw something like an obstruction or perforation in my bowel that's causing my pain? I keep telling myself they would, but I've never had a CT scan. My IBS is really acting up. At least I hope it's just IBS from high anxiety! Ugh. Thanks for any insight and comfort. XO!

Cocker_Spaniel

Toby wonderful news.  Onwards and upwards from now on with all our strengths together.

LUV I'm sure you would have heard if it was bad news like an obstruction or a perforation as that is something that cannot be ignored.  Hopefully you will get good news tomorrow so try not to worry.

I also think this is hard on our hubbies as well.  Mine coped the only way he knows how by being there for me, cooking lovely dinners (sometimes after Dexamethazone I would be hungry in the wee small hours) and nothing was too much trouble for him. He was my strength then and still is.  I couldn't have gone through this without him yet I could see the worry in his eyes every day.  If anything I love him more for this.      

Tobycc

Luv, I believe in my heart of hearts nothing is wrong. I think the only reason I got mine is because my ARNP put a rush/ stat on it so I would not have to go through the weekend.

I know Monday you will get great news: can you go on a website that has your records in the meantime? If not, call first thing

Hugs,

K

Luvmydobies

Thanks Cocker and Kath! There is a patient portal that I checked this morning and nothing new was on it. I don't knkw if they would even post it on the weekend. I'm not even sure I'll hear anything Monday. The paper said it could take a week and the nurse said that also but also said my doctor usually gets them before a week. I keep telling myself it's not Cancer but the unknown stinks. It's also hard because I've read about people who get a scan for a pain somewhere and the scan shoes something like a met that's not anywhere near the pain. Ugh... I'm not even sure that my Onc would've even ordered a scan if I had seen him for this issue. He never wants to do scans. My PCP just suggested talking to my GI since my pelvic and vaginal ultrasound were clear. Anyway, I'm trying not to have bad thoughts and to look to God for comfort and of course here too! XOXO!

Tobycc

Read through the Middle aged christian women thread!