Calling all TNs

dutchermann

Hi all -

I am new to this site, but was diagnosed in June right before my 39th birthday.  Had a lumpectomy to remove what we thought was a large benign mass, but it turned out to be metaplastic, triple negative, mixed with some in situ ductal carcinoma. The margins weren't clear since the surgeon thought it was benign. (I had a core biopsy that missed the mass and gave me a false report).   I just finished neoadjuvant dose-dense AC/T chemo on 10/21 and made it through without having to miss teaching a class or any of my boys' (age 11 and 9) baseball games.  It wasn't always easy, but I'm glad that the drugs are now working their way out of my system.  My worst problems were with constipation and loss of appetite (lost 15 pounds and I was 124 to begin with), tiredness and joint pain with the taxol.  For the last two taxol does, I didn't have to take the neulasta shot, and I realized that the shot had been responsible for a lot of the flu-like symptoms.

I have a double mastectomy scheduled in 4 1/2 weeks - still not 100% sure whether to start reconstruction with tissue expanders at the same time, so I would appreciate any advice on that.  Doctors say they need to wait for post-surgery path report before deciding if I need more chemo or radiation.

 Thanks for this site - it is very helpful to read about others' experiences. 

Teka

dutchermann,

Welcome!   I hope you've a good appetite on Thanksgiving.

riley702

In some good news, my kitties are 6 mos old now, so I'm going to bore you with pictures.

Lucy at about 8 weeks:

And at 6 mos.:

Lovey at about 10 weeks:

and at 6 mos.:

Both girls on top of the kitchen hutch:

And Lucy enjoying their new cat tree:

Teka

riley702,

So darn cute )

riley702

Thanks, Teka. *proud mama* Lucy was a feral rescue at 5 weeks and Lovey was part of a litter surrendered to a no-kill shelter. They're not related at all and have very different personalities, but get along wonderfully. I highly recommend shelter kitties.

Since Lucy was snatched so young, she has some "missing her mama" issues, which means she likes to suck on my earlobes at night. I don't mind; it's adorably cute. The shelter said Lucy was meant to be a "trap, vaccinate, neuter and release" back to her feral colony. Thankfully, the lady at the shelter intervened and convinced the person who brought them in that they were young enough to be tamed and could have a much better life indoors, at which point the shelter had them vaccinated, neutered and fostered for a few weeks until they could be put up for adoption.

I talked to the shelter volunteer who fostered them (her siblings went fast) and she was surprised Lucy was so affectionate, as she had been the wildest of her litter and very wary of people. Just meant to be, I guess.

ETA: An update for those reading earlier; the girls have gotten their all-clear on the ringworm thing. (Lovey had a spot on the end of her nose and Lucy had a spot on the back of her ear, which was helpfully ring-shaped, so I could get them to the vet and on treatment ASAP.)

Teka

riley702,

I had the misfortune of being shredded by a wild barn kitten.   All claws.

riley702

Yowch!! They're tiny, but ferocious, aren't they? And fast!!!

christina1961

Riley,

They are so cute!  Rescue kitties are the best.  I have one that is so affectionate now but when he was a little feral kitten (just having been trapped at 8 weeks) - he bit the vet tech's glove so hard he left a baby tooth in it.  Love Lovey's little back feet in the photo of her on her back!  Too cute!  Lucy reminds me of my kitty who is sound asleep on the bed next to me right now. I had dexamethasone today with my infusion and can't sleep!

Thanks for sharing the photos!  I love to see happy cats in good homes.

inmate4232010

well i feel like i don't post enough to be able to share, but i also feel like this is a place i can vent so here it goes.

first......LJ and Suze....I am so happy for you.

all the new peeps...sorry to see you here but good for you to find such a group.

well....my cancer is back.  i finished 3 months of cisplatin and gemzar and suddenly found a lump 2 days before my mid treatment scan.  F**K!  Really? that is how it went down.  i woke up, to a shower and found a new lump the day before my "scheduled"  scan.  i really don't even know what to say at this point except "I'm over it and please let me off this ride"!

i am so scared and don't know what to do.  three times in less than 2 years?  dig me a hole so i can hide..........of course i am going to continue to fight (like a girl) but really i just want to run and hide.  how do you girls do it with such grace?  i am so over it

any suggestions for survival tactics would be appreciated.  thanks!

riley702

Thanks, Christina! They both curl their back toes while sleeping. It's super cute

Inmate, that sucks. Hard. I don't have any advice for you, just a hug. (((inmate)))  Hopefully, someone will be along shortly with some suggestions and/or advice. And feel free to vent here anytime.

Survivor2Be

Inmate: I know exactly how you feel. I had a recurrence during radiation, and now brain metastasis. I think the recurrence was harder to handle because it meant all this things I had just been through: chemo, surgery ABD radiation, I would have to AGAIn!!! I'm tired and its not fair!!!! It was a struggle for me to think about the implications of it coming back so soon.



I would say my coping mechanism is distraction: family, work, sleeping pills! I am working with a hypnotherapist to help focus my subconscious on positivity and fighting. Who knows if it works, but what has been mentioned by many KICK-A** fighters here (Suze & LJ), is that it's about how it makes you feel every day, and if it feels right to you: do it!!

Kelley41

dutchermann - sorry you had to joing us here but, welcome.  I had a double mastecomy and had the tissue expanders put it then.  My Plastic Surgeon also did a partial "fill" at the time.  I hope you the best with your recovery.  I hope you find this site to be useful - there is alot of great information than can be found here!

dutchermann

Thanks for the words of encouragement.  I am amazed by how many people are dealing with the same stuff I've been dealing with - and it is helpful to hear what gets you through it.  Main thing is that this is scary stuff and there are so many unknowns.

I've met a couple of women during chemo who are on their 3rd round with cancer, really amazing.  The only thing they've told me is at least they know what to expect, and how to handle the side effects of treatment.  We also have oncology massage available here, and that's helped me relax - almost like a mini-therapy session.   

Teka

inmate4232010,

It's a biopsied malignant lump?   I had a lump which turned out to be a benign cyst. 

inmate4232010

Teka  yes, unfortunately it is malignant.  still waiting for the full path to see if it is in fact the same TN as my original.  

Babs37

inmate and Survivor2Be- So sorry you have to go through all of this again. Big hugs to you both. I just hate BC!!!!!!!!!!!!

Teka

inmate4232010,

I was so hoping a benign lump.   Hopefully, we'll have treatable BC until the cure.   However, I find it exhausting to live in the "here and now" mode.   

gillyone

((((inmate))))

((((survivortobe))))

inmate4232010

survivor2be  I am so sorry to hear that you too have been dealt a tough blow.  The second diagnosis is very hard indeed.  I told the nurse that I'm just over it.  I guess cancer isn't quite over us.  Sending you lots of good thoughts and positive energy that this is the last time you have to hear that it is back.

ksmatthews

survivor and inmate (((hugs))) so sorry you are having to deal with this all over again!  Cancer SUX!

Suze35

Inmate and Survivor - I only have a moment, but I want to give you my support - getting this news is such a blow, but you CAN be strong, and as inmate says so well, fight like a girl! It is okay to be pissed, anguished, lost, defeated. All of those emotions are normal and healthy. But you WILL wake up again soon ready to take this on and fight. And the days will come where you laugh and joke again, and start to see the beauty in each moment, along with the hell. I am on a "girls weekend" with my BFF, and we have laughed and cried, as it should be. If either if you want to talk, I'm here. My thoughts are with you tonight.

christina1961

Inmate and Survivor2Be,

I'm so sorry that you are both going through this! I hate FC! Hugs to both of you!

Teka

Survivor2Be,

I wish after reading the posts on "just diagnosed: brain mets" thread that 11/17 had already come and gone with you on the mend at home.

Babs37

New Mexico Chili Cook-off   If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end. This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in New Mexico .  

Note: Please take time to read this slowly.  If you pay attention to the first two judges,  the reaction of the third judge is even better.   

  For those of you who have lived in New Mexico , you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Santa Fe Plaza . Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chile taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield , IL .   Frank: “Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native New Mexicans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge #3.

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

  CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick. Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild. Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These New Mexicans are crazy.

   CHILI # 2 - EL RANCHO'S AFTERBURNER CHILI Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang. Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously. Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

  CHILI # 3 - ALFREDO'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers. Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all of the beer.

  CHILI # 4=2 0- BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing. Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili. Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. woman is starting to look HOT ... Just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili.. Jalapeno peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive. Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the jalapeno peppers make a strong statement. Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them.

  CHILI # 6 - VARGA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers. Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb. Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone..

CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers. Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably. Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing.. It's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway.. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

  CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence. Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself.. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili? Judge # 3 -- No report.

belleeast

babs, hilarious!!!!! laughing and crying at the same time!!!

Teka

Babs37,

mags20487

Thanks Babs...good laugh...sitting at the breakfast table off the family room laughing hysterically while my family thinks I have lost my mind.

Maggie

OBXK

Inmate - I am just so sorry you are going through this. Wishing you well.



Babs - loved it!

Riley - happy cats, too cute.





~~~~~~~~~

Today I am on the soft food diet, tomorrow colon prep, colonoscopy Tuesday. I hope I don't know what's going on or remember it.

Paintingmywaythru

Inmate and Survivor2 Be....hugs to you both..so so sorry this is happening again. Fuel yourselves with our collective strength. You can do this.

Babs37...wow..a good laugh

Titan..so true...we read all the posts but soemtimes miss someone..everyone please keep asking until you get the info you need.

Riley 702....great pics..I am hoping to get a kitten once radiation is over and after we sell our house.

Dutcherman...so glad you can take advantage of oncology massage. I have a woman come and give me one at home every 2 weeks. It is  fortunately funded by the town I am in.

LJ ...David sure is gonig to be busy. I have saved his number. I am so happy for you and keep healing.

Suze 35...would love to hear how your visit to the spirtualist with your BFF is going..wishing all is well tomorrow.

I thought I posted 2 days ago but think it never ended up posting... ..we did get an offer on our house and a second offer came in today. Inspection tomorrow so fingers crossed that all goes well and our house sells.

MJB....hope your arm is feeling a bit better. Was it the moving that did it? Not looking forward to our commute once we move but certainly needing to own only one house.

New painting....trying to figure out how to put it here.

 http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=2489872281447&set=a.1079153374356.2014301.1091936401&type=1&theater

Survivor2Be

Hello all,

I don't post much but I do follow all y'all.  It is such a nice place to connect with others!  I did get a little bomb last week, but I'm so proud of myself for how I'm handling it.  I started a blog, so if anyone wants a peek, come on over!  fightlikeandrea.blogspot.com

TEKA: I'm wishing 11/17 is over and done with soon.  I have a feeling procedure #8 will be the knock-down one!

Doesn't that seem strange!!  Before this whole BC crap, I was horribly afraid of surgery (I'm a L&D nurse and those C-S scared me!!!!)  But now, wow: biopsy, port placement, BMX, ALND, TE, fills, biopsy, port replacement...... What's to phase you know??  Isn't that a testiment to all we women have accomplished and made it through, mentally stronger and physically thougher?  Not to mention chemo, radiation.  We are some POWERFUL bodies!

 Stay strong ladies!