January Mastectomy

Anonymous

Debbie so glad you are back!  I am so sorry to hear about your friend Pat.  ((((((hugs))))))She sounds like a wonderful lady who has an awful lot of friends here on these boards and is very much loved. Love your angel.

 CindD, I am reading "Anti Cancer" right now and have found it very interesting. Since I have been diagnosed I look at everything very skeptically.  Is this what caused cancer for me, or maybe it's this? Everything from smoking, microwave ovens, plastic dishes of any kind, not enough or the right vegetables.

Lyn, thinking of you tonite and hope that the exchange surgery went well.

I received my preop appointment today to have Cat Scan for surgery. Sally did you have the Cat Scan prior to your surgery?  What was it like?  Can you function normally immediately after having it done?  I am thinking of possibly taking the kids to Disney just before or after this appointment.  It has been a very difficult year for all of us and thought it would be a nice distraction, before I go for yet another surgery. Although the surgery in January was much more difficult emotionally, this next surgery is going to be much more difficult physically.

Take Care

Cathy

ariesrottie

January Girls.. My Sisters!!!!!! It is 12:50 am and I  am on dexatisome.for tomorrows treatment. So I am wide awake even with ambien... Go figure... My sisters have so much going on in their lives.... My heart goes out to each of you....

Debbie-Sorry for you loss of a great sister and friend... Just think about how you connected .She will always be in your heart... Love your Saints. She would be proud...

KAT-----I know we all get in this depression rut... But you are strong and need to come and vent here more often... We will help you... I need you!!!! we are the date sisters.....Please have courage and strength....Hope you are feeling better.{{{HUGS}}}

LYN- How are you feeling with the exchange..... We love you!!!!! Let us know how it is going for you.. In My thoughts and prayers.

Maura, and Laura- Congrats on your exchange dates... Routing for you January Sisters.

CinD--- I will be thinking of you on your last chemo session on Fri. as I go for my genetic counseling.. My 3 round it tomorrow at 9:30.. That is why I am still typing... Damn pills are keeping me from my sleep...

Sally---Keep us strong with you Strong backbone.....We listen to you!!!!! Love you for it.{HUGS}

Brenda- I am in the same boat as you along with other sisters..... Hairless... And let me tell you with this weather ... Its hot under the wig.... Don't know how we will manager but we will ... We sill survive.....Vent here.. It helps.

Paula- ATTAGIRL YOU ARE DOING GREAT...{{{HUGS}}} You encourage us all......

TNgolfer- I love the 4's!!!!! Great Idea........

Burley- Glad things are working with the fills. As for bringing them closer Listen to your PS they know ... I have the same issue... I will listen to mine Good Luck.

I hope I hit on everyone.. And If I didn't I am sorry... Now the ambien is kicking in.. Tomorrow is the 3rd round of chemo for me.. And I am hoping it won't be like last time. Too many reactions during infusion.... Keeping my fingers crossed. because Friday go for genetic counseling...

Ate my way though the day with Lunch with a high school friend and dinner with a co worker...These pills are doing a number on me... Well ladies it is time to go to bed before another dex flush comes on me.

HUGS, will let you know how treatment went...

Love you all..

Donna

pbebow

Donna, hope things are going well today with your treatment!  Way to name all the names!  You are good!  I can usually only respond one, maybe 2 posts at a time, that's just as far as my brain will let me go and I usually have to go back and double check to make sure I'm getting it right for that!  haha!  Oh well, some of us have it and some don't!  I've learned to live with it!  Atta girl to you to for going through chemo, you girls are all so strong going through that!  You do what you have to to survive, but I am in awe of you all!!!

Lyn, hope everything went good yesterday, can't wait to hear your story!!

Bless & Release!

Paula

neversurrender

Cathy - Yes, I did have the CT before surgery.  It was no big deal.  They will give you an iv and inject some dye - it will make you very hot, and you will actually feel like you wet yourself - but it only lasts a few seconds.  I was fine afterwards.  They have you drink a lot of water after to flush the dye out.

Kat, Donna is right.  We need you here.  You are always there with encouragement, and humor,  for everyone else, let us help you when you need it.

Cindy - I am glad you stopped back in, we haven't seen you in quite a while.  Your last chemo is Friday !!!!  I hope it goes well and you get at least one strand standing

Donna - I wish you the best of luck with #3 and hope it goes smoother for you.  Let us know how you are doing.  {{{hugs}}}

Lyn - How are you ???

I pray for our Team January girls that have the additional struggle of chemo daily.  {{{{hugs}}}}

Love you ladies,

Strength and Courage !

Wishing you all a #4 day!

Sally

** Paula, Robin, Sally on all board  ***   Indianpolis sounds like a possible meeting place.  Anyone else think they could make it to Indy? 

KatRNagain92

Hello Chickies....

You're all so sweet!  Thank you for your kind words.  

Lyn...I can't wait to see how it's going!  You're making us all crazy!  I was thinking today around noon...oh, I can't wait to go home tonight and see how Lynbob's doing!  Prayers to you that it all went fabulous...and that you feel as good as you must look!    Next week for Paula and Laura is not too far behind!  We are coming along aren't we? 

I'm in great admiration of you gals and your chemo rotations.  I can't imagine all that is on my plate and dealing with that too.  Cathy, I may have to get that book your reading...it's really getting out of control here.  I'm just not even hungry!  Nerves mostly I'm sure but I am afraid to eat anything at all...I'm wasting away.  I didn't even have ham at Easter because I was afraid of the nitrates and bran flakes taste like sh** without Vanilla silk (which according to the late breaking news here, may be alright after all)  I freeze up at anything charred, brown or even remotely suspicious of pesticides. I've got to get over this are start eating...for my mood if nothing else!

Today was Thursday though and as much as I tried to find some 4's, I could only muster a 2.5 from my little bit of an Ebay problem I have.  Nothing like online purchasing when your blue!  This weekend, we're going to Indy to a wedding so I hope that perks me up.   I better try on the dress I was planning on wearing or it may be a disaster.  I'll just take 2 options and hope for the best.

Pretty exciting Masters today.  (eh Marianne?)  I got to watch it on fast forward DVR when I got home.  The weather is going to turn beautiful this weekend for them...I'm thinking it may be the best ever.  I'm not sure if we'll listen to it on the way to Indy (probably) or just record it with spoilers.  Hopefully we can get back early enough on Sunday to watch the end.  That will definitely be a 4!

Here's to having a wonderful evening ladies!  (I'll be over at Zappos...hehe)

Kat

Lynbob

Hi girlies {{hugs}}  the procedure went well but I am in a lot of pain. Seems the PS had a lot of soft tissue work to do and I apparently pulled out a lot of the work he had done when he put the TE's in. I actually have stitches around to my shoulder blades. I can not use my arms. My armpits are killer and my range of motion is awful. I have two drains in place. Going to the bathroom is an ordeal lol. Can not see the implants because of the bandages. Do not have nipples because there was so much swelling. But that is ok, I don't mind waiting  and living with them as is for a while. I hadn't felt up to being online before now and I didn't want to post and scare any one :-/  I am living on pain pills right now and mostly sleeping.  But, what I can see and feel is round and soft and I no longer have the iron bra!!

pbebow

Wow Lyn, that is crazy!  You have stitches around to your shoulder blades?  Really?  On the outside, so you'll have scars all the way around?  That is crazy!  I'm glad that you're doing okay, but wow!  At least no more iron bra!!!  I'm sure that you'll look great when all the pain stops so you can look!  Glad to finally hear from you. 

Great day ladies!  (I'm going back to bed, really tired!)

Paula

sunsnow

Lyn, I'm sorry to hear that you're having such a tough time. It sounds like he had a lot of work to do in there, but it will be worth it in the long run. I keep trying to remind myself that we've all been through so much, that we can survive whatever the exchange throws at us. Please remind me of this after mine on Monday. I also have to have some repair work done because the alloderm came off the rib on my left side.  Poor lefty is going to be sitting on my hip if we don't do something soon.

I have a confession to add...since I had to have my ovaries removed, I will age a little more quickly than a girl might like. My "silver lining" in this is to have my eyelids done during my exchange surgery. I'm hoping I won't look so tired and angry all the time.  One of my kids said, "but Mom you are tired and angry all the time, especially when we don't clean our rooms." I guess I'll have to work on displaying a sunnier disposition to go along with my young eyes and perky breasts. Honestly, I'm more worried about the eye surgery. That's going to be harder to hide from people, and I'm going to look ghastly for a couple of weeks. I should have my head examined for doing this, but I'm not about to go under general anesthesia for elective surgery after this, so it was now or never! 

I hope you're all doing well with your healing and treatments. I'm in awe of the strength and support I see here every day.

Maura 

 

TNgolfer

Lyn,

I know we were all waiting to hear how your surgery went.  Glad it is over for you.  Sorry it was difficult and that you are in a lot of pain.  I went for my fill yesterday.  I was scheduled for 50 cc yesterday and another (the final) 50 cc in 2 weeks.  I told the doctor to go ahead and just do 100 cc yesterday.  If I'm going to be uncomfortable anyway, why not?  So he did.  He assured me that if it was unbearable to just call and he would take some out.  His nurse is going to go ahead and try to schedule my exchange surgery for mid-May.  I have a follow up appointment with him on May 6 (no fills), just a pre-op to measure and make sure everything is ok and decide which implants to use. 

This extra 100 cc makes me look a lot larger than I wanted.  He assured me that I wouldn't be this large, but like all the other PS's they overfill to the implant will have room to move.  He assured me everything would be fine and he would achieve symmetry.  The left seems higher and larger and he actually showed me that it is due to some extra breast tissue in that breast.  I do trust him.  I have seen his work.  I took 800 mg ibuprofen when I got home yesterday and again before I went to bed last night.  I was "uncomfortable" (there's that word again, Kat), but I was able to sleep.  I am still uncomfortable today, but will take another 800mg Ibu and then try and do some light stretching...that seems to really help.

Hopefully the surgery will be planned for mid-May.  His nurse told me that the surgery should be relatively easy (especially compared to the bilat MX and TE surgery).  He will reopen the inital scar (on the center of the breast) and there should be no drains. 

I am starting to question the nipples.  Call me crazy, but I have gotten used to the breast that has no nipple.  It is smooth and looks great under clothes.  I had a skin sparring, nipple sparring prophylactic mx on the left breast.  That nipple is fine.  But I am now a little nervous about the construction of a nipple for the other breast.  I am almost leaning toward requesting removal of the other nipple and just going with smooth round soft breasts. 

From what I've seen on some of the threads, it appears that some women have a lot of problems with the nipple construction....a lot of bandages, difficulty healing.  Any thoughts or experiences out there.

Hope you are all doing well....I have been thinking that our cumulative strength could defeat any army of terrorists....

Marianne

Kat - I miss being at the Masters.  My husband and I were married on April 8th, 4 years ago, which was Masters Saturday and for our first anniversary (traditional gift is paper) I got a ticket to the Masters final round on Sunday.  It was such a great day!  I love Augusta!  -- no masters this year as he is in Syracuse now and I am just trying to get this all done so I can join him -- looks like it will be mid June.

pbebow

Maura,

Wow, Monday!  How exciting!!!  I am Friday and I am getting very excited... not really nervous yet, but I didn't actually get nervous before my BMX either, which is still amazing to me, but I'm not complaining!  I think it's great that you're getting your eyes done too, something for you!  I would so get my tummy done if we could afford it, but alas, we can't, so I'm just hoping that my new perky girls will outshine my flubby tummy!  Anyway, have a great weekend as you get ready for the new normal you!  (and that cracked me up about your what your kids said, kids, gotta love 'em!)

Paula

neversurrender

{{{Lyn}}}  I am so sorry things are so tough right now.  Hold on and I'm sure in a few days things will get better.  Keep peeking at the soft round parts and remember this will be worth it in the end ! 

Marianne - I knew I wanted to have the nipples done from the very start of this process.  I know my DH wants them, even if there is no sensation.  However, I have been surprised by my attitude since surgery.  I never thought I would like having no nipples.  I am slightly larger on my left side and this makes fitting into a bra comfortably a problem.  I am either baggy bra on one side, or squished on the other, so I have been wearing shelf camis instead.  I have large breasts and have never been able to go braless, and could never do a shelf cami as there was not enough support.  Now that I am firmer and perkier, shelf camis work well and I am enjoying not having to wear a bra.  I may wait to have my nipples put on, because once I do, I think I will have to go back to bras full time to hide the nips.  

I am thinking of getting the Anti-Cancer book also.  I am trying to improve our eating/exercise habits in my house, but I need something to guide me.  There is so much conflicting information out there, it makes it so hard to know what is right.  I have decided I am going to pick one (and if it makes sense) use it as our guide.  

Maura - Good luck on Monday !

Sally

neversurrender

Ok, Ladies, I need some help here.  ALL opinions are welcomed and encouraged

I am going on Thursday for my revision surgery.  I will be having lipo on my hips and abdomen.  As well as the new drain put into my abdomen, and fat injected into my breasts to even up size, and a few little indentation areas.  This should make things look really good.  I am happy right now with the size, firmness, and perkiness.  DH is very happy   I have large breasts and kept the size the same, and therefore, I am not as perky as a teenager.  I had VERY saggy breasts befor hand, and I am very happy with the new version. 

Now on to my dilema.  My PS has offered to do a lift if I would like, and he says he could get me to 'teenage' perkiness.  The advantages: perkier breasts and they would be perkier longer.  Disadvantages: scars...right now I will have no scars when I am completed, if I decide on the lift, I will have a verticle scar that runs from my areola to the bottom of the breast.  It will also be a size reduction.  To be able to get teenage perky, he would have to do a reduction.   I am happy with how they are now, but part of me wonders how I will feel, if in 5 years, they have sagged more than I expect.  If I have the lift, I am starting at age 40 with 18 year old breasts. Without the lift, I am starting at age 40 with maybe 30ish year old breasts.   I do want some sag to occur over time-farther down the line.  That is one of the reasons I chose not to do implants.  I really wanted to look and feel, to myself, as natural as possible.   I am torn.  I told my PS no when he brought it up, but then I saw my mom and sister and they both seemed to think I was nuts to turn it down.  Both agree that I look really good now, but why not get them as good as possible.  I think DH would probably prefer no scars, but he really won't give his opinion (trying not to influence me...my decision and all that).   

Since I was forced into this whole situation by BC, I want to come out with the best possible outcome.    I am just not sure what that is for me.....no scars,larger, firm breast with a little less perky, or smaller, perkier breasts for the longer term....HELP !!!  I want all of your opinions, PLEASE !!!  

I just read this again....it makes me sound so vain......oh well, you understand.

Sally

TNgolfer

Sally,

You know no one else can make this decision but you.  But you asked for opinions.  Here is one thing you might consider (because you mentioned how you might feel in 5 years).  If you don't get a lift now and in five years you think they are too saggy, will your insurance pay for a lift then?  It might be considered cosmetic then and maybe not covered.  If you opt for the lift now (check with the ins co) but it may be covered as part of the reconstruction process.  Just one thing you might want to think about.  I say go for the lift.  What do you think about my nipple dilemma -- I will need to make a decision before my surgery mid-May.

Marianne

neversurrender

Marianne - the lift will be covered now, don't know about down the road.  I have scheduled an appt with my PS for Tuesday to ask some of these additional questions I have come up with. 

I posted a nipple response on a post above my 'lift' post.  I am getting them, but it wasn't the 'automatic' decision I thought it would be.  If you like the non-nipple look, and you wouldn't mind removing the other, that is how I would go.  If you are keeping the other though, I would add one on.  I did not like my arealos before, they were to large and the color was so light.  I am looking forward to picking a new size and color

jizogarden

Hi Lyn...it's so good to hear from you....like everyone else I have been anxiously awaiting you post-op revue  So sorry about the pain you are having and the extra stitches and adjustments that were unexpected  I hope your pain levels drop quickly and you feel much much better soon!  If your in a pain killer haze just know that healing thoughts are coming your way....

Kat...I eat when I'm anxious....the opposite of you....I have gained at least 8 pounds between diagnosis and today >=o(  I am finally beginning to loose some of the weight ..... I wish I could loose it as quickly as I put it on.  Food fear is difficult to deal with....I examined food to death when taking care of my sweet son....it can become all consuming.  I have been a super clean eater since 1986....no smoking, no drinking, almost all organic foods, no red meats, organically grown chickens, turkey and wild caught fish......so go figure.  I do know my stress has been huge for many years. I will keep eating healthy....and try to be better with my stress =o/ I try to live life in moderation but when really stressed I hit the chocolate (dark of course and carbs.....even too much healthy food can still pack on the pounds....emotional eating is a bitch =(

To nipple or not to nipple....here's a funny website that should bring a smile: http://www.new-attitude-inc.com/?page_id=39 

Sally I hope you find your answer....and the breasts that make you feel comfortable and beautiful in your own body.

Stength and healing,

Laura 

pbebow

Sally, as Marianne said, of course, it is your decision... I would definitely check on the insurance question as she said.  When you say you are big and would be smaller, how much smaller are we talking, going from a D to a B or large D to a small D, how drastic?  I would say if it's down more than a cup size, no, you probably wouldn't be happy... but if it's just a slight reduction in size, I think that I would do it.  But it's hard for me to say, I am going from a small B to a full C so I'm going up... but I was always small.  Of course now I feel huge (overexpanded ready for exchange) so a full C might feel small after walking around with these coconuts for so long!  haha!  ANyway, I know that wasn't very helpful, sorry.

Marianne, I know what you mean about the nipples... I don't have any and mine were small before but I feel that I have spent my life trying to make sure they didn't show and now I'm going to have the PS create new ones!  WTS!!  But, I have heard from so many that they feel so much more "whole" and "real" once they have the nipples done and I know when I am nude and look in the mirror they just don't seem like breasts without the nipples.  So, I am going for nipples, my PS is doing them at the same time as exchange, but I was very clear with him that I just want a hint of protrusion, nothing huge, just the idea of a nipple really.  He said that they will seem bigger when I first get them but they will shrink and if they don't shrink enough for me he said it is an easy fix to make them smaller.  So, I'm going to trust him and have them done.  That's my 2 cents...

Good day to all!

Paula

ariesrottie

My January Sisters! All this discussion of nipples is making my day!!!!!

Marianne- Its your choice. My opinion we had them... put them back.....I want what I lost...Only my opinion...And the way they look in shirts. I always hid mine... But they were not always easy to hide.. So I'll go smaller this time...

Lyn-  Sorry to hear that you hard a rough time with your exchange..... And stitches to boot...I hope today you are feeling some what better. In my thoughts and prayers..... Keep us informed.

Sally--Perky! go for it ... We been though enough... Its covered now. Good luck with your choice.

Kat --- Glad you are feeling better..... Enjoy the wedding... What ever you decide to wear YOU WILL LOOK BEAUTIFUL.... I am sure.....Keep a smile on your face .......

CinD-- How was your last treatment????... Hope it went well.

Paula--- Thanks I did do well this round #3... This treatment went so much better then the other 2.. NO SIDE EFFECTS for me this time.. Finally after 2 treatment and Se. they final got it down... So 1 more to go... Went today for my genetic counseling... Took blood work so I will hear in about 3 weeks. Right before my last treatment....I decided that I am going for a total hysterectomy instead of just the ovaries... I did both breast and made the right choice for the other breast had A typical cells. Not fooling around this time either... Who needs it anyway...So right now I feel good, Just alittle tired, and foggy headed...Hope the weekend goes good.

Maura--- Good luck on Monday-----In my thoughts and prayers....

Paula -- You also....Smile ... I can't believe we are in the exchange stage... Hang in there.

Good Luck with everyone who is going though exchanges, hard times with feelings and Side effects...

To all of you {{{HUGS}}} Have a great weekend.

Donna

KatRNagain92

Evening ladies.

Lyn, I'm so sorry you're having a time!  I agree with the others though....he must have done some serious work in there and it will be so worth it when you can put your arms down!  I guess I better drag the drain apparatus stuff out just in case I have to have the pocket work plication done too. 
  Hang in there darling!  We're all rooting for you

Maura...I think your eye deal will be great!  My husband just had his lower lid fixed (entropion) and he was extremely compliant with the ice for 48 hours.  If you can keep ice bags on your eyes for 2 days straight you will be amazed at how well you do.  His bruising was completely gone by day 4 and he's decided to do the other eye soon since it's headed in that direction and it really only set him back 3 days.  He wasn't under a general though so maybe it is something different but in any event, I think you may as well take advantage of the benefits of plastics when you can. 

I've determined that if Martina Napratolva (sp?) can get breast cancer than damn it all!  If you work out umpteen hours a day AND eat as healthy as you can and STILL get it then the common denominator must be being a strong driven woman. 

I too am getting very used to not having nipples!  I like the look too.  I've decided though that come December probably, I am going to have the 3d tattoo only with shading on the areola and give the illusion I have a protrusion when I don't.  I am going to go way smaller in circumference than what I was before.  My husband like my big nipples but he's going to have to like the small ones now or to bad for him!   Laura, thanks for the link!

Sally, the only thing I would be worried about is the fat injection in or around the breast pocket.  Since fat has estrogen in it, I'm afraid of that so close to the clavicle and axillary nodes.  I'm going to just say no to fat insertion in my 'step off's'  I'm hoping that the implants will help round some of that out.

Well, falling asleep as I type.  It has been a positively grueling week.  I'm going to sleep like a baby I hope!

Have a good weekend everyone!
Kat

Kat

CinD

Donna, that is super that your chemo treatment today went without problems!  My last treatment went extremely well today, and I can't believe I can say that I'm officially finished with chemo! The whole chemo thing actually seems to have gone much quicker than I thought, especially after I reached the halfway point.  Thanks to all of you sending out good thoughts for we chemo gals!

Cathy, I'm glad to see you are reading "Anti-Cancer" and that others are also interested. Maybe we'll all have to compare notes. Right now with the chemo thing, I've had to be more lax about what I eat, but after three weeks or so, I'm going to put more of the information from this book into action. I've been a pretty healthy eater for the past few years, but I had cut most cruciferous veggies out of my diet due to my thyroid. That was probably a mistake, so I've added them back in even if it means I have to up my thyroid meds.

Lyn, it sounds like your surgery has been quite the ordeal. I'm sorry you are in pain, and I hope you are feeling better soon. 

Marianne, that is so cool that you went to the final round of The Masters for your anniversary. Yesterday, it was so good seeing Freddie Couples and Tom Watson shoot so well. I'm also pulling for Phil Mickelson, such a gentleman, and I feel for him and his family with his wife Amy dealing with breast cancer too. I'm already tired of the constant Tiger coverage and hope they tone it down, but I know they won't. 

Everyone, take care. I hope you are feeling well and that those struggling soon put it behind them. Enjoy the weekend, treat yourselves to something wonderful -- life is good!

Cindy 

Lynbob

Hi guys! A little better today. Apparently there was some muscle damage from the original surgery that the PS had to repair and that is why I am in so much pain. I think it goes above a normal exchange so please don't let me scare you. On a good note the drains are hardly filling at all so maybe they will be gone soon. Love to you all

sunsnow

Oh, Lyn, that's good news. I hope every day sees great improvement in your pain levels, and your drains are out soon.

Kat: Thanks so much for reminding me to keep the ice on. I've heard it helps, so it's great to get confirmation.  I can't believe how nervous I am for this procedure. I'm such a wimp!!! No worries about the exchange though...funny. Whippetmom (Deborah) on Exchange City is so generous with her time, and really helped guide me to a place where I'm comfortable with what my PS has planned.  It sounds like she's really helped you as well. 

Cindy:  I agree with you about Mickelson. His gesture in Houston last week was wonderful. And it sounds like having his wife's radiation oncologist as his caddie worked out pretty well for a few holes. It was a nice story and I would love to see the Masters focus on something other than Tiger.

I know there's much more I wanted to respond to, but the dog is begging for a walk and she's too sweet to ignore. Enjoy your Saturday!

Maura 

Anonymous

Lyn so glad you have the surgery behind you, sorry it sounds like you are having a difficult time.  We will keep our fingers crossed that you can get the drains out asap.  They are such a nuissance.

Sally, it sounds like a good idea to see the surgeon to ask the questions. It is so difficult to make all of these decisions isn't it. If seems like up to this point we have had to make so many decisions.  You will know though what is right for you. For me, I just want to look normal.  I want my breast to match my body and to some degree my age I think.  I don't like feeling like I am being looked at right now because I don't have breast, even though I'm sure to a passerbyer on the street, it is not even noticeable.  Just the same when I have breast, I don't want them to be so big or so perker that it looks abnormal. Right now I think I also want nipples, to again just be normal and to try to have back what I had.  Having said that, I am so looking forward to having reconstruction.  I don't like wearing the prothestics, I find them very uncomfortable.

I am really scared you guys and could use some help. My oncologist sent me for what was supposed to be a routine pelvic ultrasound. He wanted a baseline, in case I start tamoxifen. We are waiting for the test results to see if I metabolize tamoxifen and bloodwork was done to see if I am post menopause? By the hot flashes I am having I think I am in it. The plan was if I metabolize tamoxifen and if premenopausal, I would start tamoxifen after DIEP. When I went for ultrasound, I think she saw something, because she then had me do a transvaginal. Maybe this is a case of "canceritis", but I am really afraid. She said I will get a call probably in a week from my oncologist. I know she can't say anything, but I also think they will tell you something to reassure you, if its good. So now I am back in the "waiting for results" mode. Will I still be having reconstruction in a few weeks? Should I book flights for preop? So I try to think am I overreacting to this? Is this what having breast cancer is going to be like every time you have a test done?  It is making me crazy. I have been doing so good, eating well (by the book "Anti Cancer"), exercising every day, quit smoking, trying to make sense of why this has happened. I have been scouring the internet to see if I can find pictures of what I saw on the screen.

Nobody else seems to understand this feeling. I thought you guys probably would.

Take Care

Cathy

faithandfifty

((((((((((((((((Cathy))))))))))))

(((((((((((((((Lynn)))))))))))))))

All of our team making it thru chemo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

******Regina, how are you holding up????

******Maria, I think we haven't heard from you in such a long time.

Know that I have our entire "team" in my prayers, today & always.

xx00xx00xx00xx00xx

Strength and courage.

Strength and courage.

Strength and courage.

To all who may read along here, we wish you a good weekend. We are blessed to have each other as we each face a variety of issues in our moving forward progress. It is such a comfort to have a front-porch to come visit and know that we are heard and cared about.

xx00xx00xx00xx00xx

TNgolfer

Cathy,

I am sure everyone will agree with me and tell you to try and be calm and patient....but we ALL KNOW FIRST HAND how hard that is.  The WAITING is what drives us all crazy.  It seems like we are always waiting for test results.  Somehow you have to find a way to continue to think positive.  Call it denial, avoidance, or whatever you want, but you need to distract yourself and focus on something else.  Tell yourself the test is done and what's done is done.  There is nothing you can do to change it and really try to just think positive.  Tell yourself it will all be ok.  Even if the test results show something, believe that they are just being prudent and careful and they will catch whatever it is in time.  Remind yourself there are treatments for a lot of things.  Your stats look good (small tumor, no node involvement).  Be positive. 

The toughest part of this battle is to learn to live after the diagnosis!  Treasure each day and each minute.  You have to BELIEVE that it will turn out OK. 

Prayers,

Marianne

bcincolorado

Kathyy and Lyn you are in my prayers that all will be ok and you will get through this easily!

bookart

Cathy - sometimes they go to Transvaginal when they can't see well enough, like if the bladder isn't full enough or something is occluded.  Also, benign cysts are fairly common in post-30 yo women, so it could be they were just being thorough.  Let's try not to theorize ahead of the facts!  I hope the results are great and you can relax.

jizogarden

Morning Lyn, glad to hear that you are feeling a little better...I hope each day brings you more and more comfort so you can enjoy your new soft yippee squishies  

Cathy so sorry you have to wait for your results...maybe you could call your oncologist on Monday morning and see if they can hurry it along for you....if not let distraction be your friend...it always helps me :0)  I find if I can work up a sweat in the garden or go for a nice long walk with Smudge or call a friend that makes me laugh my spirits become lifted...even on a blue day.  I hope your results turn out to be nothing at all

We are having another beautiful spring day in NY.  Andrew, Smudge and I will spend lots of time finishing cleaning up the gardens.  Andrew mowed the lawn for the first time yesterday...it's wonderful to smell the fresh cut grass...

Wishing everyone happiness in your day....

Healing and strength,

Laura 

KatRNagain92

Hi girls.

Back from the wedding in Indy...had a nice time.  I just can't get my DH to stop talking about me having/had breast cancer to people I don't know.  I would really like to 'be normal' in a group of strangers and I don't think that's too much to ask!   I didn't really fill my dress out like I used to and that was a bummer.  Maybe I do need 700cc implants!  ACK!  I'm anxious for my appt on Friday with the new PS.  I hope I have an exchange date soon too!

Hey Laura, that link on the prosthetic nipples?  I think those have real potential.  I wrote to the company and asked for a pricing guide.  I think it might be fun to "play" around with them...get a couple of different looks.  I still want to get the tattoo but it might be fun to have options in nightgowns  

Donna, I meant to tell you on my last thread that I'm really happy your not having SE from round 3.  I'm also relieved for your course of treatment is almost done.  Hang in there, you're doing great!

Have a good rest of your Sunday girls! 
Good luck tomorrow Maura? (It is tomorrow isn't it?)
Kat

grdnslve

maura---just tell people they dropped you off the gurney & gave you black eyes.  and when they compliment you later, just say 'thanks-i finally am getting some rest'  ain't nobodys business but your own...

faithandfifty

Dear January sisters,

I have finally finished my first 'movie' and have been able to get it uploaded to YouTube.

It is a four minute long montage of daisy photographs that I took last summer..... set to my daughter playing the oboe. Anyhow, my dear friend Saint was such a HUGE part of this project. She was such an encouragement to my learning about photography, my camera, making the most of the subject etc. Many of these daisies I captured during the week that they stayed with us last summer.

Then I had encouragement from the website LOOP, to share the photos, which then prompted me to get them organized into the movie-format.

If you watch till the second to the last final frame you will see the dedication picture for Pat/Saint.

I hope that the video brings you a sense of calm. It is offered as a meditation. I know that Pat is smiling down that I have gotten it finished. (In spite of the fact that my computer ate the whole thing on one occasion -- that's one of the last times that saint had to talk me down from the ledge.)

So when you have four minutes, or when you need a sense of meditation or or or..........

Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KMMWvMVTko&feature=autofb

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Strength and courage.

Strength and courage.

Strength and courage.