Chemo Starting Sep 09
Comments
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Ronnie - We always knew you were special...but only in good ways. The news on the clear scans is wonderful...hang on to that! The BMX sounds grim, but at least when you are done with reconstruction you'll have two perky and matching boobs. And like Neece, you'll have no more mammos to freak out over. I'm trying hard to find positives here...but mainly I'm just hoping your surgery goes smoothly and I'm crossing everything that the IDC is way less than 6mm. You WILL beat this!
Pamelajo - You look absolutely beautiful with hair! I hope the Xoleda ousts the last little skin met soon. Definitely before the end of pepper season. Regarding the pepper plant..it is so good hear that you are still kicking...literally it appears. HA.
How many times can we say...BC SUCKS. No, sorry, at this point: BC SUCKS ASS.
Patty
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Hey SOSisters.....well looks like I'm behind on my posting. Boy you miss one day.....
RonnieKay - I am so glad you posted. We've all been praying for you and you have definitely been in our thoughts! Well some of it sounds better, like the chemo part and not loosing your hair. I can't go back to the last page or I'll lose this post so did I miss about radiation? How long will the chemo pill/infusion last? I'm so sorry you have to have another port. Is this a concern as to where they will place it? I know that mine could not go on the left side. So how long does an infusion take? I know that your results will be less than 6mm. We won't accept any other result! So what can we do for you besides be here? Maybe Vickilynn is on the right track and it's time for virtual cookies, maybe a few drinks too since they can't hurt in cyberspace. Take care and please keep us posted when you can. We are all with you every step of the way!
PamelaJo - you are gorgeous! So glad to hear you are hanging in there. Sorry to hear about the acid reflux, isn't it always something? So what can they do for that besides keep you away from the peppers? How is the house coming along? Any projects completed?
Vickilynn - I'm still in favor of the party. I don't know who's birthday is in June. We could celebrate anyway, it has to be somebody's! What are you up too? Have you had any traveling adventures this week? You go to the most interesting places!
Onty - so glad you are seeing improvement in your scar. Please keep us posted on how your are doing, it is great to hear something positive.
Patty - I couldn't agree more with your sentiments about BC. Some days it is hard to find the positives and I don't like to go down the other road of thoughts. So I keep my mind busy with other stuff and try not to let the BC thoughts intrude. You are going to hear on my birthday that your mammo was clear and I'm going to hear on the 28th. Then that will be something we can celebrate together!
Well dear sisters, I hope that positive vibes are following to each of you. We have formed such a wonderful bond and no matter what gets thrown at each of us, we can work through it with the help of each other. Take care. Thoughts and prayers are with you!
Jane
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Hi there Sisters!
Got the news Friday that there's no C in the other breast...woohoo! I was going to come to Pamelajo's house to yell a few F*&#s and kick a dog if it had gone the other way! Actually was sort of looking forward to visiting you, PJ!!! You'll have to tell me about xeloda...that's one of the drugs they said they'd give me & I can't remember if it was the pill or infusion. I do not want acid reflux...and if that's what comes of it...I'd rather lose my hair...I think, maybe not! Your picture is amazing...I hope I look like you after this next treatment
OMG Patty...I did the same thing with femara...I found myself counting them constantly, mad that I was "using them up" every day!!! My friend said she'd never use a generic since her husband's pharmacist father said generics weren't the real thing. My onc said hogwash...use the generic. I remember you telling me about your insurance...ouch...do you think there's any way they may change the upfront charge, due to the generic? I'm still so sad that I won't be at Las Vegas. I keep thinking maybe I'll just bag the family/home town stuff...but I'm not much of a rebel, guess planning for next year is more realistic. I'm happy that you and Jane will be together to represent us! Is your darling Son going to school at his school or another one? Any more fabulous trips for you this summer (before LV?). Love that you had a great getaway!!
Oh BarbAnne...I don't mind overkill...I'm waiting for you. My door's open! Glad you had a fun trip with the family! Sometimes just getting away from home is what you need (that is, if you can find a place every one wants to go!). How's the job going? Are you still looking at other possibilities? I really loved working again (most of the time), just knowing my brain still worked was a great relief! The last day at work, a gal came in selling athletic gear. I said her hair was cute, she said, "chemo hair." I realized I had finally stopped saying that whenever people commented on my do. I did a double-take & said I knew her. It turned out that she had been my gyn nurse and had left 6 years ago to babysit her grandbabies. I loved her cuz she never made me weigh! Here we were, discussing diagnosis, treatment, etc. Small world, big disease. Anyway, another sister!
Onty...My onc just suggested scaraway for my port scar...which I think has healed very well and didn't understand why she commented on it. Guess I'll have another chance to try it...darn
JANE: Will pray that all my sisters' mammos are clear & clean! I think they'll put my port on the same side (right) as before, something about a straight shot into the heart. If there's scar tissue they just clean it out to make room for the new one...another thing that makes me go "ewww." No more radiation...can only do it once on a breast & mastectomy means (most of the time) no radiation. I'm so glad you're feeling better on the tamoxifen! I was worried that since you're ER/PR positive, you needed to be on something so I'm glad that's working! Sweating is a piece of cake (well, not really), but compared to not being able to move on femara. I remember those pains...and wondered how Patty tolerated it so well (exercise, weight lifting, etc..now I know why I had pain!!). I want to hear all about the American Idol concert...I'd LOVE it! They were such a talented bunch! Have to say I really can't remember the last movie I saw.
VICKILYNN: I'm sad for all of us that aren't going to Vegas...it stinks. We have to plan on next year! I'm wondering where you are right now...you're our "Waldo!" I imagine a big map & want to put a little sticker everywhere you go! I'm expecting you to find a new oncologist...asap! You need to have someone by your side (they'll have to hold hands with DH!), that cares about your whole health, physical, mental, emotional. I would be having a much harder time with this bout if I didn't know my "team" of docs cared about me. Every time I go in I'm torn between being pissed, scared, mad, sad, and I leave there feeling strong, safe, knowledgable. Tom made the same comment the other day. We are going to live strong...it's our promise to each other!!!
NEECE: Patty's comment made me LOL...I thought you meant not missing mammos but I think she's right...maybe it was boobs!!! I have to say I never wanted to lose mine & now that I am, everyone says I can get new perky ones. I may be a bit older & a bit plump, but I've always had nice perky boobs, so it makes me sad. On the other hand, I want them gone, yesterday, because that one has betrayed me...twice! I have a REALLY IMPORTANT question, and I've tried to look on the web for answers, do you think doing a dbl mast is a bad idea? The surgeon wanted to do the cancer breast now, then wait for healing and treatment, then do the other mast & recon at the same time. I said I wanted both done at the same time, so then I can do treatment, if needed, and schedule the recon when I'm ready. PLEASE tell me if you think I'm being too "ambitious." I just think I'd rather get it over with & not have to look at doing it again. I have a helpful family and I heal pretty well, so I think I could do it...am I being unrealistic? You're my expert advice...and I trust your opinion! I hope you read this before Wed
I know this post is probably a full page...sorry....maybe if I didn't use so many dots it wouldn't be so long
The plastic surg (he's not handsome like Pamelajo's...darn) is tomorrow. Tues is my "get outta jail free" day, Wed, meet with surgeon and do sentinel node mapping (OH GAWD..I hated that!), Thurs surgery (the 30th, not 29th like I said before). OH....I may be the next birthday in the family....July 2nd...57 big ones! Guess I'll be celebrating no bc...again!!!LOVE & HUGS to ALL! I'm not editing this...so sorry for any spelling, grammar, etc. mistakes!!!
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I'll be short today...yeah, right!!! Saw plastic surgeon yesterday. Doing only L side mastectomy & will have the dreaded, awful "tissue expander" (they call it "place holder"...that sounds nicer!), put in during surgery. With the possibility of chemo (and the herceptin for sure), it will be a while before they can do the reconstruction (have to be 1 month off the drugs). He said the pluses are that I'll be able to keep 1 breast now, TEs in only 1, and less cutting and scaring later (they won't have to add as much tummy skin to 1st one with expander and will have full skin to work with on the R side after mastectomy). It makes sense to me but I'm sure I'm explaining it like some math teacher I had years ago that thought he was explaining clearly to me! He also said I had enough fat in my abdomen to make a nice, full breast (or two!). I'm so relieved. It's when time goes by and your mind wanders and you have too many options that life starts feeling overwhelming.
Thanks for being there for me to rattle on...teehee! Tomorrow surgeon appt and sentinel node mapping...still don't know it they're doing 1 or 2...hoping 1! Remember the buzz word- >6mm!!!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
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BIG HUGS COMING YOUR WAY RONNIE!!!!
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Hello SOSisters....hope all of you are doing well and staying cool.
RonnieKay - know that my thoughts and prayers are with you! I know you won't be able to post for a few days and we understand but as soon as you are up to it, please post just a short line so we know you are doing okay. Our positive vibes are with you and we'll be with you in spirit every step of the way.
Take care. Thoughts and prayers are with you!
Jane
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Ronnie, my brave dear friend, I will be thinking about you and sending prayers and all manner of positive vibes your way tomorrow. LIVE STRONG! I love it. Check in when you can, we'll be on pins and needles (but don't worry about us, take care yourself!) {{{{{{{{{{RONNIEKAY}}}}}}}}}}}
Patty
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My dear, loving sisters,
10 a.m. surgery this morning. These past few days have been filled with family & friends, drs and nurses, poking and prodding...and through it all, I've been praying that all of my sisters are well and healed. It seems whenever I'm discussing my new journey in this life, I end up mentioning one, or most often all of you in some manner...if only to say that you are still my lifeline
Good news yesterday, they found a sentinel node! The surgeon said that oftentimes it's hard to find one in a second surgery in the same area, so we all rejoiced when they found it shining it's radiated head in the room! The sign of good things to come!
Thank you, thank you...you all lift my spirits and give me even more of the fighting spirit to kick this cancer to the curb (here is where I always feel the urge to say...AGAIN!). I will definitely take care of myself (I'm cracking up, Patty!!).
Blessed be the tie that binds...I am bound to you all for life!!!
ps...remember the mantra...> 6mm!
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Ronnie - I've been mantra-ing all day. I'm trusting your surgery went well, that the tumor is teeny tiny, that that lonely sentinel node is negative and that you are, once again, cancer-free! Rest easy and heal fast...otherwise how are you going to party on your birthday? (You may have to make do with Ativan and painkillers, but that doesn't sound so bad, does it?)
Patty
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Ronnie - surgery is over and healing has begun! I have been sending you positive vibes since early yesterday (NC time). When will they tell you that it was way less than 6mm? We're all praying for you and hoping that this day comes with your positive news so you can quit worrying about that and very little pain from your procedure.!
Thoughts and prayers are with you!
Jane
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Sending positive thoughts and hugs, Ronnie. Take it easy.
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Ronnie- You have been on my mind for weeks now. Big hugs and positive thoughts! I am ready for some great news!!!!!!!
Pamela it is great to hear from you and I love your new pic.
Yes I am still on the job hunt for those of you who asked, it is a very long and boring story but something should of happened at work that would of made things perfect, and every other department can't figure out why my bosses boss, didn't make the effort...lets just say there is a lot of butt covering going on, and they would rather screw me than step up, I am mad and sad all at the same time. I hope the perfect job comes along so I can tell them to you-know-what :-)
On a brighter note, went to my onc who is still unconvinced my rash is from Tamoxifen. But admitted my skin does look much better. He also transferred my care to a different onc, DH now knows my onc is leaving and is getting used to the idea. but my new onc is a woman, so I won't meet her until October but I am sort of excited about that. But the bright spot is I have lost 10 pounds since my last onc appointment April 25th. Two months of exercise and watching what I eat paid off. I just hope it doesn't come back when I start up with Tamoxifen next Tuesday. Or the rash, that can stay away too.
Love and hugs to all my sisters. And big healing hugs to Ronnie!
Barbara
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Good Saturday Morning
After 5 hours in surgery on Thurs (with surgeon & plastic surgeon), I got wheeled to my room around 7 pm--I think I remember my siser came in & I had bad chills. I asked what pain meds I was on & they said none since surgery...guess you have to ask for them...I'll know next time!!! After that, I felt much better. Good news is that the sentinel node was negative (they actually took another just to be safe!), a big relief, and expected I came home yesterday morning & I'll tell ya, his te is NO FUN! Hurts like a bugger. Last night I got an itchy rash-yikes BarbAnne-I feel your pain. They told me to stop taking the oxycodone & if that doesn't work, the antibiotic. Pain is back & I feel a bit nauseas so will type later. Love you -
Hello SOSisters....
China Blue - good to know you are checking in, hope all is well with you.
BarbAnne - so sorry for work crap. Makes it difficult to go in each day doesn't it. Congratulations on losing 10 pounds - wow, that should be inspiration for me to get off my lazy caboose.
Ronnie Kay - HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR RONNIE KAY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!! So glad you are home and surgery went smoothly. We have all been sending you prayers and vibes. Sorry you are hurting and hope that will go away soon. So glad sentinnel node was negative, when do you find out about the size? I am sending you healing vibes, you take it easy. This is your time to be pampered while you heal. We all love you!
Happy 4th to everyone! Thoughts and prayers are with you.
Jane
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Jane! Thanks. Now to Keep it up. It is just so darn hard!
Ronnie!!!!!!! Happy Birthday and Great news on the Sentinel Node! Man is that wonderful! Keeping you and that bugger of a TE in my prayers.
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Happy Birthday Ronnie! Excellent news on the B9 nodes, fingers still crossed on the size. I know what you mean about being chilled after surgery, every time I'm shivering. My surgeon told me they keep the operating rooms cold on purpose - not least because it helps prevent bacteria. I hope the pain/itch/nausea gives you a break on your birthday.
Barbara - Impressive weight loss! Good for you! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you on the job front.
Happy 4th of July weekend everyone!
Patty
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Ronnie - Just wanted you to know I sang harmony with Jane's HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU song!
Rejoicing for the B9 node too and praying for swift healing and less pain! We all love you.
I started my 4th of July weekend by going to a patriotic concert with my sister - 100 voice choir and full orchestra inside an historic theatre. Nothing like a good old red-white-and-blue song to make you want to stand and salute! HAPPY 4th to you all - even Neece. Or will it be the 4th yesterday???
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Good morning SOSisters.... headed to work but checking in to see what is new. I hope everyone has a good 4th of July weekend. Ronnie Kay praying that you are not in pain and feeling somewhat better today. Of course, now you are a year older
Take care everyone. Thoughts and prayers are with you!
Jane
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Thanks for the Birthday Wishes, sisters
I had actually put 57 on all the papers I signed before surgery & then realized I was still only 56...so I scratched them all out! My surgeon said he will have the path report this week and my appt is on Thurs, so I'm thinking I may know "the rest of the story" then. I know that 9 wks of herceptin is on the playlist, just want > 6mm (I know you know that, I'm obsessed...even had the nurses promise they'd pray for that!), but have had moments that I think I might be inclined to decline more chemo, especially if it's slightly larger than the magic number. Negative nodes...a prior poisioning...on femara...more herceptin...would it be stupid? Probably stupid when it's my second time around, but I'm bouncing it off you, my sisters, my safety nets!
Patty: I could look it up..but is Ativan the sleeping drug? I can't sleep for the life of me. First it was the terrible itching (compliments of oxycodone), then just plain old pain (compliments of only tylenol) so I'm up all night eating leftover birthday cake (I think I found your 10#s BarbAnne). My birthday was wonderful. Family here, with a few friends who popped in earlier. Menu: cabbage rolls, marinated pork roast, salmon, ham & scalloped pot, salads galore, dips, veggies, a sinful bakery cake & one from Coldstone. I said it was like going to Old Country Buffet (that comment didn't go over very well!). It was nice to be able to just sit and watch it all happen around me. Oh...funny story about the chilly OR: the nurse who took me in forgot to put the cap on me, so the first OR nurse said, "Where's her cap, we need a cap," the surgeon's lead nurse, "She doesn't need a cap," they went back & forth arguing about the cap. I was hoping they didn't take it out on my boobie!
BarbAnne: I know there's a job for you! A friend applied for 10 jobs in our school district. She got none of them...but then BINGO, got a job for another district, making about $4 more an hour/4 tens/telecommuting if she wants/HEAVEN!!! So, I know that perfect job is out there and maybe next year you'll have a more flexible schedule if DD is a bit more self-reliant (hoping!). I hope you love your new onc...it makes life so much nicer! I know you'll do great on Tamoxifen...it starts today, right? OMG, as I tried to peel away the top layer of skin, I kept thinking of how you'd itched for so long, I'm praying that never visits you again!
Jane: You have a beautiful voice...especially with Vickilynn's harmony. Promise when we ALL GET TOGETHER, we'll sing! I remember sitting at the piano singing Anne Murray & Pointer Sisters songs with my daughters when they were little! They laugh when they realize some of the lyrics were pretty risque 25 years ago! Hey...just wondering if you do Groupons in NC? I just got movie tickets for $2.00. Last week spent $10 on $30 worth of food at one of our favorite pubs...such a great deal. I thought of you & Vickilynn, our movie gals!
Vickilynn: I'll bet you were singing with that 100 voice choir...how could you not! Love all the patriotic songs and I've oftentimes sung them to the babies. Two verses of This Land Is Your Land and Hank's sound asleep (since he was 5 days old!). Maybe it's my voice? The lake across from our place has a huge 4th celebration so we sat on the deck & listened & got goose bumps!
Neece: Hope you're doing well...is it the beginning of the chilly season for you???
China: If ever you think I could use some info on tes, please feel free to share
OK, so now for the nitty gritty. I'm having a bit of a hard time dealing with all this and your positive thoughts & prayers are so helpful. I just know how well & fast I healed from my lumpectomy and I guess I thought this would be the same. Then I worry it's because I'm not emotionally ready to handle what's coming and then I think I'll be miserable because I don't have the same adrenalin going. I'm sorry to sound so stupid. Being a person who's usually confident, I'm floundering a little. Tom put the aquaguard around the drain opening for my shower and it leaked. I fell apart sobbing & he yelled at me to stop it, and I sobbed harder. He was trying so hard to clean the area and I was just a mess. We went for a walk & talk and it helped. I have to keep telling myself I had cancer, and going through this healing is a good thing but it hurts so damn bad. Since it was a skin-sparing mast, my boob area looks like an orangutang's (sp), just flaps of skin, OMG...a nurse just called from the hospital. I've been worried that the pain may be my body rejecting the te, but she said the pain I have is exactly what's expected from tes. Thank the Lord! I have a call in to get something else to take for pain...OMG...they just called from dr office to tell me I may need a muscle relaxant. Thank you, Lord Jesus. I started crying when I got the first call and I told the nurse I usually don't cry but I was typing to my bc.org sisters and was in an emotional state pouring my soul out!!!! Tom just walked in...we'll go outside for a walk. I LOVE YOU ALL!
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Oh Ronnie, wishing you hadn't gone through this...
The mast. definitely takes longer to heal than a lumpectomy and I know my mast. was painful. Here's a weird one for you --- I actually had pains in my breast - when there wasn't even a breast there to have pains in!!! I don't know if it's just the te's causing you pain or if it's the fact you've just had major surgery and they've pushed and pulled and cut skin and nerves and tissue and prodded on your body...it is painful, but it will feel better soon - really and truly!!
I think the drains were annoying - do you have 2 drains?
Don said to say something encouraging to Tom but I don't know what to say. I hope you'll understand that psychologically and emotionally for him, this is a very trying time too. He doesn't want to lose you... and for his sake (and your family's) weigh your options carefully (about whether to have chemo or treatments...). I often wondered if I would do chemo again but Don wants me around... as I know Tom wants you around. Plus he's dealing with your re-formed body and that's got to be hard on them too - no matter how much they love us!
The fact you feel like going outside for a walk is good news and so good for you!
I'm glad the nurse called you back and I hope and pray that the muscle relaxant helps you sleep and that you have some positive news at your Thursday visit.
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Oh Ronnie, here you are just crying away and yet still writing your funny posts to everyone. I think you are handling this very well, all things considered. For heavens sake we really all just got over our first round with this crappy disease, got our hair and our energy and our lives back, and now you have to do it again. You deserve to be a bit of mess, my girl. I'm actually proud of you for holding up so well.
It is good that they are giving you the muscle relaxants. A wise Stage IV gal on these boards advised that if a pain doesn't go away, the problem isn't necessarily the dose, it may be the type of pain killer. She said sometimes a regular 'ol Tylenol worked better for her than morphine!
As for the Ativan...it is a anti-anxiety med regularly prescribed to keep us cancer-types calm, cool and collected. I never asked for it...it was just part of my Onc's prescriptions. Whenever I told my Onc that I had a weird/sad/hopeless/emotional/whatever day he'd say "Take an Ativan". I found it really helped me go to sleep and stay asleep during treatment. It is addicting, so you don't want to be scarfing handfuls of the stuff, but even 1/2 a pill worked if I needed to chill out a little.
Better living through pharmacueticals! Hang in there. (((((((RonnieKay)))))))
Patty
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Ronnie - I think I went through a mourning period after my diagnosis/treatment/reconstruction.
My husband always says you can do the right job with the right tools. If you need meds, take them. If you need to talk, seek out friends (we are always here) and therapy (don't be shy, it helped me). If you need a hug, ask. Get out and breath the air. Exercise, in any form, is so so so good for physical as well as mental health. Most of all, please be kind to yourself.
As far as TE's, mine was uncomfortable/achy/burning/itchy at times, but not super painful. Actually, when I got fills, I felt a tight sensation, but somehow my chest was a little more comfortable. I used to count the fills, just like I counted off my chemo treatments.
Hang in there Ronnie.
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Ronnie- Big hugs, and tissues, and delicious cake to you. I agree with all the sisters, you find comfort in whatever way you can. We are all here for you. I'm glad your itching is gone now, but from experience I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Can you take Advil? I know for me Ativan was too strong, So I took one regular Advil and one Advil PM and it did the trick. Keep us posted and do what makes you feel good. Thanks for for the thoughts on jobs, I do have an interview Monday for another position same place, we'll see what happens. And as for that 10 pounds, you send it back to me and I will walk it off, promise. Hugs.
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Good luck on the job interview BarbAnne41!
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Hello SOSisters....it's hot and humid in NC. Makes my frizzy hair even frizzier. Off today, work Thurs. & Fri. and then on vacation for a week. Yeah!
Ronnie Kay - praying for you less than 6mm tomorrow. Please post as soon as you can. You know we are all sending you positive vibes. Are you feeling any better? Does it make you feel better to know that what you are feeling is normal? It's so wonderful we have this site and your sisters can chime in on what to expect and what you are experiencing. You will make the right decision regarding your treatment, you will know exactly what you need to do Okay so next year when all of us go to Vegas we will sing!! Apparently that's what they do at the NYNY piano bar and have a really good time. Thank goodness for Vickilynn's beautiful voice, I can't carry a tune in a bucket but I sing anyway. Sending healing thoughts to you!
Vickilynn - I don't know what my decision would be either if I had to do chemo again. Have you gone on any adventures this week? I was going to talk Jim into going to the beach next week but the boys are going to get neutered instead! It's time and will make them better puppies.
Patty - Can you sing? We are going to have to sing for all our sisters when we are in Vegas. I can hum really well.
ChinaBlue - your advice is wonderful and could be applied to all of us!
BarbAnne - good luck on your interview. This is the one!!!! I will try to encourage you while you walk off the 10 lbs that Ronnie Kay is going to send back to you!
Take care everyone. Thoughts and prayers are with you!
Jane
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RonnieKay - Any news? How 'ya doin?
Patty
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Good morning SOSisters... checking in to see if we'd heard from Ronnie Kay. I know she will post when she can. It's a true TGIF for me, on vacation starting tomorrow, woo hoo!
Hope this finds all my sisters doing well and enjoying the summer. It is so hot here, but I'm hoping to spend a few days of my vacation lounging at the pool and getting some sun. I am pasty white according to my DH
. Take care. Thoughts and prayers are with you!
Jane
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JANE - You seem to have LOTS of vacations!!! Hope you do get those days at the pool. Is this the week you go see the Idol tour?
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Have a lovely vacation Jane. I hope the "boys" recover quickly and you get some sun. Have a great weekend. You too Vickilynn.
Patty
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Mammo - clear. Whew.
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