Lets get to know each other :)

Lovegolf

Ok everyone here...just wanted to drop a Holiday note and say thanks.  All of you were so great when I was going through surgery etc.  I wish peace and good health for all.

TorchSong

Hi LoeGolf--good to hear from you!

I am doing OK physically--lymphedema is a constant issue, but otherwise OK.

However, just got some bad news--my sister, a BC survivor of ten years, has a distant reoccurence (liver and bones, so far, although they are still running tests). It seems pretty agressive. My mom lost two brothers in the last 18 months to cancer (lung and undetermined), and is very upset, of course. And naturally it's bringing up all my fears!

Mostly I am worried for my sister--I know some women live with it as a chronic disease, but for others...

 Anyway, hope everyone else is doing well.

Hugs

Martha

Lovegolf

Martha

So sorry to hear about all the bad health issues with family. I do know there are women in the stage IV board who have been there for years. Here's wishing for better health.

Ab

dee1961

Hey ladies,

Just wanted to pop in to wish you all Happy Holidays! 

Martha, so sorry to hear about your sister-I hope all turns out well for you and your family. 

Take care everyone and pop in to say hello once in awhile-I know I have been a-wall for a bit myself. I'll  try to get back on the boards now that I'm homebound-it's just too cold to be outside for me!

Peace,

Dee ~

navygirl

Hi Ladies ~ just stopped by to wish everyone a Merry Christmas or other Holiday weekend, whichever you prefer! Martha, special prayers for your sister and the rest of your family; there's never a good time to deal with mets, but the holidays have to be the worst time of all. ((((hugs))))

Lovegolf

I know board has been quiet for awhile. I am coming up on two years. I look back at the post from then I can not say how much everyone's support meant to me. Sat. is the Komen walk here and I am doing the whole 3 miles(only get one mile last year). I will carry the names of all you with me as a small means of offering thanks for the support.

Wish1

Hello everyone-

I hate being a member of the club but man am I glad some other women are on this board- I live in the buckle of the Bible Belt and as such lesbian is not welcome- I mean Fred Phelps of "godhatesfags.com" and Westboro Baptist Church gets more support than a lesbian with BC.

I found the first lump in April 2008- had to have the bilateral 12-31-09 - tried everything short of that at first- had to have more nodes removed on 3-21-11- so I am tired of this mess. I am now having to wear a handy-dandy truncal LE wrap in addition to the LE sleeves. I travel a lot with my job and as you know flying is not the best thing for LE.

I wish none of us had BC but I am grateful some other lesbians are out there in the world and on this board!

Lovegolf

Wish

Sorry about the Bible belt..although it is tight here too. BC does not car gay/straight black/ white. Hang in there

jyg

Just diagnosed with DCIS and new to the board.

Partnered (because we can't get married/civil unioned/whatever) for 20 years & living in Tucson - hey, at least it isn't Phoenix!

Considering BMX because I have lost a tremendous amount of weight the last 1.5 years (120 pounds) and any plans for a breast lift/reduction are out the window with radiation. Guess I'm vain, but  my boobs now hang almost to my waist and cause much discomfort. The only body modification post weight loss that I was planning on was a breast lift (if even possible). I hate to think that I am lopping off my boobs as an overkill for DCIS, but the breast surgeon is very supportive of BMX with reconstruction. Seeing plastic surgeon today for more input.

Grateful there is a sub-forum for lesbians. (Maybe it should be re-labled to include transgendered & bisexual folks also? Not like they have much support either.)

Lovegolf

Welcome to club no want to join. I was where you are 2 years ago. I had BMX 5/1/09 with no reconstruction. It is a  hard personal choice. I am glad to answer any questions. you can send me a private message.  Hang in there. Breathe

TorchSong

Hi all--

Wow it has been a while!

Brief update on me: I was in a terrible relationship for a while--moved from Canada to the States to be with her, then the relationship fell apart, so I moved back to Canada. My sister, sadly, passed away in early March. She had not only liver and bone mets, but also brain. Very difficult and sad; I was with her (as was another sister and my nieces) at the end, which was actually a comfort--we never left her all alone. So now I am on my own (loving it--think I'll stay this way a while), and back in Canada. My health coverage will kick back in on October 1st and I already have an appointment set up with my PC doc. I'm a bit scared--I have had no health care for the last year while I was back in the States--so no follow-up--and I have been having symptoms I can't explain. I don't want to think it's back, but with bone pain, fatigue/insomnia, odd aches and pains.... I just don't know. My sister thought she had overstrained her back at the gym--that was how they found the mets. And being TN, I am very concerned.

I haven't said anything to ANYONE, partly because I feel a little foolish and like a hypochondriac, but also partly because I am scared. I know TN has a higher rate of recurrence and I haven't been monitored the way I should have been (my own choice--that was the downside of moving back to the States); anything could be happening... So I've come back to the board--especially this sub-forum--'cause I know you all understand.

So positive thoughts would be greatly appreciated as I check into this.

 And on to everyone else--how has everyone been? I am hoping the quiet board means everyone is doing well and enjoying life!

Lovegolf

So sorry about the past year. Are back at the same church?  Oct can not come soon enough. Will sent many positive thoughts your way.

Things here are good. I have birthday next week..on that ends in a zero. I am just glad I am around for it.  I am PM you my number if you need to talk.

Outfield

Torchsong,

I haven't been on this board before the same time as you, but please know I am sending positive thoughts your way too.  

TorchSong

Lovegolf, thanks for the PM--I've replied... Yes, still at the same church. We're doing pretty well, actually--have some new, very active members with energy and good ideas, plus some with experience/training in areas we really need (web coding, non-profit board experience, working with the disabled, etc.).

Have a wonderful ending-in-zero birthday! Here's to the next ending-in-zero birthday and the one after that (and the one after that, and the one after that...)...

Outfield--thanks for the positive vibes. I surely can use them!

 

Lovegolf

Torch

Let us know how it goes when you go to get checkup.  I am sending positive thoughts your way

TorchSong

Thanks, Lovegolf and outfield!

Saw my primary care doc today. She doesn't think I'm alarmist or overdramatic, since the pain's been off and on for six months or so. She is setting me up with a bone scan, and is referring me back to the cancer centre for follow-up (I was disenrolled when I left the ON medical system) so I can be re-enrolled and followed up.  She also made sure I had my flu shot before I left the office, and gave me my compression sleeve RX too. As she said, better to make sure it's nothing than to assume it.

Lovegolf, how was the ending-in-a-zero birthday? Hope it was spectacular!

Lovegolf

Birthday was great. Went to large outdoor jazz festival and my partner had arrainged for the jazz singer, who I have known for years, who came to the house on my 40th to sing, to have her lead the whole park in singing Happy Brithday and then she sang God bless the Child for me.

Glad you are following up with health issue. Let us know how it goes

TorchSong

Just a short follow-up--I am going in for a follow-up visit at the oncology clinic Monday afternoon. Next Monday (the 31st) I will have a bone scan. I am willing to bet the onc will want a mammo, since it has been a year since I had one.

I'll let you know what happens!

Lovegolf

Yeah you know the mammo is coming....here is to good news and the all clear sign.

Natters

I am 42 years old and I live in Pittsburgh with my partner of 4 years, and our 2 small pets. This diagnosis has been hard on our relationship because we approach it pretty differently. We're both in therapy separately now, and considering going to a couples counselor, too. I am starting rads this week, the last step in my treatment (unless you count the Tamox - still have 4 years and 10 months to go on that). This has been a real "cancer year" for me because in the past year, 1 of my friends has been diagnosed, one of my coworkers has had a MX, and another one has passed away. Before this year, I have to admit that I didn't think about BC much, despite having an aunt who died at age 40 from BC. I didn't even notice Pinktober before, but this year it is inescapable. Not a very Happy Halloween, I'm afraid. Hoping my mood improves as I begin rads and get into the rhythm of going there every day.

Nat 

Lovegolf

Nat

Welcome to club no one wants to join. It is hard on relationships..Am sending you a PM

Outfield

Natters,

I wished my partner had been able to get more support or some therapy during treatment.  I'm glad you both have that.  I had a lot, but she had none.  And she was basically a single parent to our two little kids during that time. 

It's horrible on a relationship.  We are both so very, very changed by this ongoing experience.  I think we're really lucky that we can talk with each other.  We thought about going to couples counselling, but then she said, "You know, when we sit down and talk with each other we do pretty well, don't we?"  So we didn't go, we just kept talking.  If you don't have the kind of relationship, I hope you're able to go to a couples counselor. 

TorchSong

Natters--So sorry you have to join us....but there's a lot of support here. I am done (knock wood) with treatment, but would not have made it in as good shape without the encouragement and support of this group.

Cancer is very hard on relationships--any chronic, life-threatening illness is--but I think it's especially difficult for women who are in relationships with women, because the cancer-free partner has, at some level, fear of this happening to her. Or, if she has already dealt with cancer, it can be too close to home (as happened with my partner at the time). For most couples dealing with cancer, it's pretty random--liver cancer or whatever--but breast cancer when your partner is also a woman--that is an extra stress, on top of the "usual" (is anything usual about cancer?) fears

So--very very glad you both have therapists, and hope you do get the help you want. 

 There's a lot of good information on the boards here and I have found acceptance everywhere, but this group here is special.

Hugs

Martha

TorchSong

And on another note... I had the bone scan today. The radiologist wanted more detailed studies of my back and legs... I am telling myself s/he just wants to be sure they are clear. Should have results towards the end of the week.

It was weird spending the day in the hospital today--people in costume, pumpkins everywhere-but no pink, thank goodness. I am pinked out.

Hugs

Martha

Outfield

TorchSong, seems like this has taken a while.  Goot luck.  

haltsaluteatx

Natters, so sorry you need to join the club we never wanted. There is a wealth of knowledge and support on this site. My wife and I process things differently. I was 44 and our son was 8 when I was diagnosed. We have been together for 26 years. It took me some time to realize how differently we process things and that was ok. We both went to therapists separately. i went to a support group at a local community based cancer organization. The bc group is women only and they invited my partner to join too,. I was blessed with a trememdous amount of support,. Are you open to a support group or any other community based options?

I have mixed feelings about October. I think the awareness and fundraising for breast cancer are wonderful. However there is too much pink.  

 Nicole 

Lovegolf

Martha

Let us know...sending positve energy your way. 

apple

you know what.. it's just a fact of your life.  i spare no words and offer no information.  EVERYONE knows about me and my diagnosis which i find  a little irritating but hay.

apple

good luck btw

Natters

Thanks for the warm welcome, guys 

Outfield, until this year we did have great communication in our relationship. Then came my dx and our different approaches to it, and my partner feeling like it was completely out of her control. She is also under a lot of other stress at work and with her own health and became depressed enough to finally accept taking meds recently for it. But we realized that we pulled apart from each other emotionally for awhile, and now we're trying to get back to us, if that makes sense. 

Maybe I will look into a community support group, Nicole. I think I would be more open to one if they broke it up into early vs later stage disease. I know I am very lucky that I got the dx I did, compared to a lot of women, and I can't see myself complaining about anything around women with later stages.

Martha, that is an interesting insight about female partners being faced with their own fears of BC. It hadn't occured to me because my partner is younger than me but I know she had a dx mammo a few years back that scared the bejesus out of her, and she is anxious in general. Maybe I should talk to her about that sometime. Also - thinking about you this week and hoping you hear back soon about your bone scans and that they are all clear! 

apple, it's weird for me to have everyone think of me as a sick person, and also to have what seems like a million random people seeing my breasts every day. Not that I'm prudish but I guess what I hate is that I don't get to control who does what to me anymore as much.

Nat