**NEW** Starting Chemo March 2009

crusader1

Hi Ladies,

Just got a few more minutes before I must leave for a market research thing. 50 dollars for one hour of eating bread. Yuk.. but good money.

Sakura- You are sounding like you may be getting over your artist. Glad you see the light at the end of the chemo.

Chick I do hope we all stay on the All Clear train.You said some real nice comments about us princesses. We are definitely there for all of us.

Yes I do believe that we will always be monitored more carefully than others.

Tomorrow is my recheck xray following my pneumonia of three weeks ago. I am not really concerned.

Ladies my nails are just so strong and long.I think it is from my infusion of Zometa  and all the vitamin D I take.

Stay strong...

Hugs to all,

Francine

pickle

Francine: I did see the posting. I started a new thread last night but haven't had any bites yet. Sterotactic biopsy went well. The freezing is now out and it's a bit tender but overall it was a breeze. Good luck with your xray tomorrow. 50 bucks yo eat bread eh! Where do I sign up....lol

crusader1

Pickle (Beth) Glad all went well today.When do you get results.

I try to keep adding to my posting or it gets pushed to the bottom. I think you have to do this. I did get a number of responses after a few days.

The 50 dollars wasn't bad. I had to eat four slices of oat bread. I got confused at the beginning and ended with an extra half a slice so I stuffed it into my pocket.LOL

BTW my stepson was in Calgary today and last night.He works for the airlines and had to check out the airport. He will be home today. Spent only one night in Calgary. I was in your beautiful city before our tour of the Canadian Rockies.

Stay strong.

Hugs,

Francine

Dawnmrn1

Hi Ladies!  I am reading daily , you are all in my thoughts and prayers!  What great support you all give!  I could not have got thru this without you. I feel for all that are having challenges, this disease is such a part of all of us!  Keep the faith and take it as it comes and freak out and loose it when necessary.  That is so normal, I think we all try to hold it together way too much! I have 2 more rads then DONE! Skin is holding up, but boy am I sick of it! Love and Hugs to all!  Dawn

pickle

Francine: That's funny... My Aunt used to stuff a couple extra rolls in her pocket whenever they went to Ponderosa. She figured that if they had the nerve to charge for mushrooms then she was taking something home...lol.

 I probably won't get results until Tuesday. Monday is a holiday and I see my doc Tuesday. Calgary is a beautiful city. Your son hit good weather 29 or 30 celcius.

Dawn: Nice to see you. Two more rads...that's fantastic. You will be done by Labour Day Weekend!

Hugs

Beth P

inthemoment

Beth - I'm glad your stereotactic biopsy went well...I remember my radiology nursing days, and depending on the area, poor boob could get repositioned a lot of times and poor ladies were squished in a bunch of places.  Many hugs to you that your results will be just fine.

As you can see by the time I am writing this, I am on my night of treatment steroid rush - so happy to have these boards to go to!  Had Taxol treatment #9 of 12 today - only 3 more to go...done on Sept. 22nd - yeah.  Not starting the clock on the rest: Herseptin, or the reconstruction, or the prophylactic mastectomy - just 3 more Taxols!

Had a 4 day mini-vacation this weekend at Lake Placid, NY.  Beautiful resort on Mirror Lake, but a wee bit chilly - in the high 30's in the morning and rained 2 of 4 days, but a small price to pay just to get away from all this cancer stuff!

Gonna try for at least a nap before the sun comes up - goodnight

Geri

Rachel - hugs to your soul...keep focusing on finishing the chemo

pickle

In the moment: My poor little (and I mean little) boob didn't need repositioning at all. The freezing is the only thing that hurt a bit for a few seconds. The nurse and doc were so gentle and kind. Hugged me when I left.

Three to go....that's great. I only had 4 rounds of AC so the time seemed to go fast. I was finished June 1 and don't remember a lot of how my SE's were. Maybe it's like labour....you forget how it really was...lol.  I feel for all you gals that have had such long treatments.You are all amazing.

 I still haven't decided on prophylacic mastectomy yet. I guess I'll wait and see what my results are then take some time and think it through. Glad you got away for a few days...rain or not it's still nice to take a well deserved break. Hope you had a good nap and that you have a good week.

Hugs

Beth P

kim40

Hi Gals

I haven't posted for a while and just spent the past 1/2 hour or so catching up!  Wow, a lot sure do go on in a few days! 

Beth - Keeping my fingers crossed for you. 

Deb - I can't believe what is going on with you!  Well, at least the new onc found it now and not later - I wish you the best.

As for the rest  of you gals, I've had notes taken as to what is going on with you, but now it seems I've misplaced them!  I wish you all well and my prayers are with you all.

ChrisC433

Beth and Deb...the wagons have circled!!

 Thinking of you..

Chris

7timewinner

More and more prayers for everyone here, especially those with new concerns!

I just finished rads today, and next Tuesday have my ovaries removed (instead of 5 years of Tamoxifen). With any luck, and God's blessing, that is it for me. Follow-up PET/CT scan at end of September, hoping for an "all clear" message from that. We shall see.

Sorry I do not interact so much here anymore, but I always read and keep everyone in my thoughts and prayers. I am working on pulling myself out of the post-treatment depression that many of us seem to be experiencing. It's like I need to redefine who I am now, instead of "woman in treatment for breast cancer." Surely, there are so many better things to be

Maybe it's simply a matter of a little PTSD? In any case, it is lightening up finally. I am still having painful neuropathy in my hands and feet most days, but exercise seems to help that a bit, so I will keep on trying

Blessings,

Nadine

Mom_of_boys

Nadine... Have you decided against Tamoxifen or did your onc say the removal of your ovaries was enough?  I'm struggling with staying on Femara for 5 years!  I had my ovaries removed in January of this year, done chemo, had the rads, even having Zometa infusions every six months now... is the Femara absolutely necessary?  Would love your thoughts...

didle20Diane

Hi everyone, biopsy done.....now I have to wait a week but the doctor told me that 99% of the time it comes back negative.  My pap smear was negative so that is one plus for now.  I am not going to stress any more about this as it is out of my hands.  I leave for vacation on Saturday through next Thursday and plan to enjoy.

hugs

Diane

PattiB

Diane and Beth - Prayers and well wishes for good results on the biopsies. 

Back to work so only have time to skim, but thinking continued well wishes for all of us!

pickle

Diane: Good for you for not stressing. That's exactly my attitude. It's a high probability of B9...it's all out of our control anyway. Go and enjoy your holiday.

Nadine: Yeah...no more rads! Glad to hear the PTSD is getting better. It is like a fog lifting and you're right....we are so much more than this disease.....we were before and will be again. I wasn't given the option of ovary removal vs tamoxifen but I do dread being tied to any drug for 5 years. Perhaps it's my age (48) that they didn't offer ooph as an option. I had a hystercectomy many years ago but still have ovaries. Good luck on Tuesday.

NYDeb: How are you doing?

Kim, Chris,  Patti and all you other lovely gals...thanks for all the support and well wishes. You're the best!

Hugs

Beth P

kim40

Diane - Enjoy your holiday - it is so much deserved.  We took a mini vacation last week and it was so nice to get away.  I actually forgot about BC for a while.  It was great to unwind and relax.  It was just what the doctor ordered.  Have fun!

Anonymous

When I read about more of us with additional biopsies ect, it made my decisions so much easier.  I met my BS last week and decided on a bilateral mast.  I don't ever want to go through this again. If it ever resurfaces, it will have to find a new home !!

 I met with my PS yesterday.  Good news.  My well cultivated belly will make 2 wonderful breasts.  so, we'll be doing a free tram w/  immediate reconstruction.  Now, I am just waiting for the secretary to coordinate the scheduling.  I wish I had done this 7 months ago.  But, based on what we knew then, I couldn't make that decision.  In seven months of treatments, I have gained only knowledge.....better than nothing I suppose.

Thanks to everyone for their support.  I don't know what I would do without this board.  We are very lucky to have each other.

pickle

Hi Deb: It sounds like a very wise decision. In hindsight I wish I had pushed for Bi-lat. My BS said he just wanted us to deal with what we had in front of us at the time so I had single Mx. Then at the end of Treatment my oncologist thinks it would be wise to remove the other one. The BS agrees. Then I move to a new city 3 hours away and new onc and BS don't think it's neccesary. Now I needed a biopsy. Even though I am sure it will be B9, I wish I didn't have to do it at all. I don't want to deal with this again either. I really think you are making a well informed good decision and it sounds like you have a good team. Best wishes

Beth P

Dawnmrn1

Deb!  So glad you are going with the bilateral mastectomies! If they are gone and there is a little breast tissue, there is only a small place for the cancer to come back!  Sorry this couldn't be behind you!!!! Good luck!  They are going to suck fat out of my belly and inject it in my radiated chest!  I know that fat would do me good, lol!!!!

Beth P! You have such a great attitude! You are doing the right thing, hang in there!

Love to all!  Dawn

Mom_of_boys

Deb... all I can say is WOW.  When will your surgery be?

MichelleinSJ

Hi, I'm not quite caught up yet, but almost.  I don't wonder who around me has had breast cancer, but that's probably because I haven't done a single thing to hide mine, and therefore I've gotten approached frequently.  A woman walking past me in a parking lot will tell me I'll be fine, that she's 10 years out, or a mom at the kids' theater rehearsal will tell me she had it twice before going for the bilateral mast.  The doctor's receptionist was 41 at diagnosis, like I was, and that was 8 years ago.  It's quite fascinating.

Diane and Beth, hang in there, I hope you get good answers, and quickly.  Waiting is so hard.  I'd forgotten how hard the waiting is, but on Monday I had a really good job interview, and now I'm waiting to hear about that!

Beth, I agree with the others' comments.  I'm so glad you're here.  And Rachel, I'm glad you've got your mom with you for a bit.  I hope it helps.

Michelle

MichelleinSJ

Deb, you will not regret your decision to go with the double and the TRAM.  If you have any questions, feel free to ask.  I do have some issues.  First, if I eat too much I feel the skin pulling around my waist.  Second, after more than 7 months I am just starting to get back some feeling around the scar that goes from one hip to the other, and I still have no feeling at all around my belly button.  Otherwise, all is well and my breasts are the same size as before, just much perkier.  I didn't wear a bra the whole time I went through rads. 

Michelle

crusader1

Hi Deb,

I also think that is a great idea.

Will you need further chemo after the breasts are gone.

I had a single mastectomy . If I had to do it over I would have gone for a double even though it wasn't sugested to me.

I think there is tremendous fear over the word Mastectomy before one is involved like we are. We know the surgery is not the worst part of it.I do remember the terror of going to the hospital. I believe one fears both pain and the loss of your feminity . But we are wiser and we know the real thing to fear is the Cancer itself.

Deb..great decision.

Francine

didle20Diane

Deb,

I wanted the double from the get go but my surgeon told me to sit tight.....have my mastectomy, chemo and then see what I should do from there.  I am glad I got this advice as I think it made going through chemo so much easier on me since I my mast recovery was minimal.

Flash forward 8 months later and I decided finally on my recon surgery (well I only had one option, implants) of the missing boob...then got blindsided with the biopsy of uterine lining cells and that did it for me.  I don't want to go through this again on the other side....I don't want to be watched like a hawk so they can find something in 5 years or 10 for that matter that would mean me having surgey and chemo AGAIN.  Once was enough for me thanks for asking.

I saw the work of my plastic surgeon on 3 of the gals in my local group.....their new foobs look awesome.  I can't believe how good they look.  Don't get me wrong, I had lovely boobs pre BC but I don't miss the one already gone and I am now 100% for having the other removed.  It will be skin sparing so I will have some feeling I hope.  I was thinking of having nipple sparing but changed my mind when my surgeon said he wanted to discuss the risk of recurrence with "the team"....I said, scratch that, take the nipple, I can live without it.  

I know that the risk of local recurrence in lump vs mast is about the same BUT I personally don't want / nor do I have the time for another local recurrence of BC. I have too much else on my plate like MY LIFE   I want as much breast tissue out of my body.

Big hugs to all.........I wish we didn't have to face all these decisions but we are all here together to support whatever it is we choose to do.  I especially feel for our sisters that are single or have not had children yet.  I can't say what I would have done in your positions.  I would suspect breast conservation.  There are so many success stories so we can be hopeful!

XXXXOOOOO

Diane

Anonymous

Beth  8 months ago when this started, my initial instinct was cut em off.  But , every doctor I saw ( 2 PS, BS, Onc) all recommended chemo and lumpectomy.  In the beginning we are all so scared and naive and pretty much want to go with whatever they tell us.  Now I feel like a grizzled veteran with more knowledge than I ever wanted.

Francine  That is a definite yes on more chemo once we get through surgery and recovery.  I'll be doing Adriamycin dose dense X 4.

Michelle  I probably will have some questions, thanks for offering.  Did you have bilat?  Good luck on the job interview.

Jan  WOW indeed.  What a crazy ride this has been.  I just got my date  September 29.  I know it's a big surgery and they have to coordinate surgeons, but I wish we could get it over sooner.

Dawn   I knew I didn't get fat the last ten years.  God was just getting me ready!!  We talked to the PS about whether to do uni or bilat.  He said it really doesn't matter much to the patient as far as recuperation time, just a pain in the ass surgery for him.  I told him I have plenty there too if he's interested , maybe I could be a donor LOL.

Diane  Really, who has time in life to go through this all over EVER.  I finally spoke to my previous BS on Monday.  He actually told me that I had 2 options, mast or just let the lumpectomy go and treat it down the road if there is a recurrence.  I was speechless, are you kidding?  I thought  (past tense) the world of him and respected him and his work.  He made me feel like I was just a slab of meat after that conversation.  I got off the phone and sobbed for an hour.

I thought about implants, but have radiation to worry about.

PattiB

Deb - glad you are relieved by your decision.  Good luck with surgery, thoughts and prayers with you.

chick717

Deb, I know this might sound crazy, but in a way, I felt sort of re-assured by what the "previous" doc said.  First of all, let me say that he has zero bedside manner and he let you down - very unprofessional and GOOD RIDDANCE.  But let me explain: Maybe BC feels like something that is more routine to treat/cure and so some docs are more conservative with their treatment plans? Maybe I'm just rationalizing to make myself feel better, but that's how I looked at it when my boyfriend dumped me right after chemo.  Am I nuts?  I thought, well, he thinks I'm gonna be ok, or else he would have stuck around out of a sense of guilt or obligation.  

I had a bilateral mast with lat flap recon.  Every doctor who has seen it has gushed about how good it looks.  I have - uh- had some guys see me naked since, and if they are freaked out by it, they do a really good job of hiding it :-)  So single girls, I hope that gives you some re-assurance! 

I am convinced that we'll be telling someone one day...oh, yeah, 30 years ago, I beat the hell out of BC and now I have the perkiest boobs at the early bird buffet :-) 

pickle

Deb: You are absolutely right...naive in the beginning and now a grizzly veteran. Not only do we gain more knowledge... we gain more "Gusto"...... to speak up and be more assertive. Glad you have a solid plan in place. Your attitude and humour astound me. You are such a trooper!

bethr

Hi All,

 I completely agree with all the posts I've been reading with regard to gaining more knowledge.  When I was first diagnosed, my BS originally wanted to go with the bilateral.  I was emotional, but felt that in the end, it would give me the most peace of mind.  Then, they decided to help me keep my breasts and I went through 6 mri biopsies of my right breast, all having B9 results.  They tried a lumpectomy of my left breast, the margins weren't clear.  Then they tried a re-excision, the margins still weren't clear, so they took the whole breast and about 20 lymph nodes after two showed up positive in the Sentinal Node biopsy.  I went through all this because I honestly didn't know what else to do besides what my BS told me to so.  Looking back now, I honestly wish I would have just gone ahead with the bilateral.  It would have save me alot of worry, not to mention all the time it took to get all of that done.  As with Diane, I don't miss my left breast that much and probably could have handled losing both of them. 

I have to wait until the new year for reconstruction since I'm going through rads now and have to wait for that to heal completely.

But when I meet with my PS for the first time (I'll be making that appt. soon since I hear he's one of the best and has a tight schedule) I'm definitely going to find out about getting rid of the right breast and doing a bilateral recon. 

Deb - I'm happy that you're content with your next step.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your surgery.

Beth (Pickle) - I'm hoping and praying for good biopsy results for you.

All - my thoughts and prayers are with you and I hope you all have a great weekend and/or vacation.

Beth

nasharayne

Hello ladies,

I finished rads today!!!   They did this stone ceremony, it was pretty emotional.  I didn't used to be much of a crier but now the water works are easy.

For those getting additional tests, I pray all is well.

Have a great weekend

Tanasha

pickle

Tanasha: Hooray....done rads! Stone ceremony....that sounds lovely. Have a joyous weekend