Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

IllinoisLady

When one begins to practice simplicity, the ego is deprived of the very strategy by which it sustains itself. Nothing will deflate the ego more effectively than to be recognized for what it is. It lives by pretension. It dies when the mask is torn away and the stark reality is exposed to the gaze of others. Simplicity also avails in braking the tyranny of things. Ostentation, artificiality, ornamentation, pretentious style, luxury--all require things. One requires few things to be one's self, one's age, and one's moral, intellectual, or spiritual stature. What one is does not depend on what one has.

Albert E. Day

carolehalston

I've been busy this morning cleaning out the refrigerator and transferring a few things to the refrigerator in an out building. I've pretty much done what I can do before the final steps tomorrow morning. I have learned to take the minimum and stock up on groceries when we arrive in MN.

This year I'm trying to cut down on the clothes I'm transporting, too. I left some clothes there.

DH is on the lawn mower doing one last mowing. That should be his final chore aside from loading up the plastic bins into our cargo trailer.

Hope everyone is enjoying their day.

Wren44

Have a safe trip! Having lived in Houston for a while, I can imagine how nice the temperatures in MN will be.

IllinoisLady

I second the safe trip to MN for you and your hubby, Carole. I'm sure I'll think of you often once we get to the middle of our summer here. We haven't been too hot yet too much, but the rain does make for more humidity than I like. Today was nice but a few more gardening chores and sweat was pouring off me in no time. Even though we are back here mainly in the woods, when I started sweating like I do in the humidity I figure the wildlife turn the nose up at the sorry sight I become. The shower will be a welcome retreat for me once I get done re-hydrating with a couple of glasses of water.

Went to my cousin's house as she had some of her special pasta salad we all like so she made some extra for me. While there she had her hubby dig out a couple more plantings for me and I really didn't want to wait to get to them as we could have intermittent rain for a couple more days.

ChiSandy

Gray and gloomy with a high of 47. Is this May or did I sleep through the whole spring & summer and end up in Nov.?

IllinoisLady

"Accept -- then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your whole life."

-- Eckhart Tolle

IllinoisLady

Not so nice here today as we wait for rain that is almost a certainty. 80% here usually gives a great chance for success. A bit on the sticky side but not too bad if you aren't doing a lot of heavy work anywhere. We could put on the air, but trying to stall when we can. I've plenty to do and did a bit of gardening yesterday so that I would not have to be out of doors too much today. Some is catch-up from the night work -- that left me just catching up on the regular daily chores -- so I'll try and get moving now with projects once again. Have half of the kitchen cabinets done but I'll likely hold off till we turn the air back on.

Hope you all have a great Monday.

ChiSandy

About 10 degrees warmer here today than yesterday, but still made it up to barely 60. Rainy, too. Gordy came home from his weekend with his gf and was able to get the old light bulb out. The suction cup tool stuck to the new bulb, which I was able to install. Whew!

IllinoisLady

Each day we can wake up and choose to see life as a gift and to be
fully present in that day. We cannot always control the outcome,
but we can control our reactions. Each day we can bring all we have
to that day, choosing to live it fully, seeing it as a great gift.

John Izzo

IllinoisLady

Beautiful day here today and so far cool enough to have windows open though fans have to be on and circulate the air around good. Not much breeze stirring outside. Likely up to 84 degrees or so today.

Lots to do, but one thing for me is getting my car washed again after our last rains. Went to the car wash the day ( it was actually in the evening ) of the first rain as my car was filthy and the muddy rivulets only seem to get worse in the rain. Its not so bad now but won't get better unless I work on it. We do have a funeral to attend on Friday so I will have to deal with getting my car clean and keeping it good until then.

The 'starts' I got at my cousin's house all look like they are going to do pretty good. The first ones planted looked healthy but VERY limp and I sort of wondered if they really would perk up like she said. They seemed to have started to pick up really well. So, I am quite happy with them for present. She says next yr. they will ALL be quite full and lush and looking at hers in her yard I don't doubt it. If that takes place here we are going to have a nice looking yard after the winter rest.

Along the side of my house ( a/c condenser side ) I had a lot of hostas planted and they did well for a long time but now a couple have died out. I'm planning to take some ground cover and start working on filling in the whole area with it save for the couple of remaining hostas which I'll surround with something. The people who had the property before us started the hostas going by covering the ground with plastic ( weed control ) and making holes for where they wanted the hostas. Through the yrs. some of the plastic has deteriorated and dirt has taken a bit of a foothold under the colored pea gravel. That is why I decided to yank all the weedy materials out and encourage it to fill in with the ground covers. Need something green, but not too tall. I don't want to encourage a snake farm since we live in such a 'wooded' area. I don't mind a few snakes, but not close in to my living space. They do eat other things that we prefer not to settle in here -- like especially mice and rodents of that nature -- so we are not totally adverse. Just don't want to have the snakes too close. Dense foliage on the ground is not good for us.

So planning a good day inside and out here and hoping you all have a great one too.

Emgee

Hello ladies -- age 63 and diagnosed with ILC last week. Love to garden and watch the birds, married to a 76 year old in pretty good health who lost his first wife to breast cancer in 1999. Hoping to find a way to stay healthy long enough to see him through to the end of his road! And have some fun along the route.

IllinoisLady

Life is unlimited - it expands with the generosity, compassion,
inventiveness, and service that you contribute.
-Jonathan Lockwood Huie

IllinoisLady

WELCOME Emgee,

Sorry that you need to 'find' us, but glad you did. Isn't it the absolute pits ? Here we are looking forward to retirement and a natural settling down and nice re-structure for life and here comes this diagnosis. You will get a program to follow and hopefully move things in the direction that does help you achieve all your goals, and especially that one of seeing your hubby through a good life shared with love and some adventures along the way. So much is possible now. We are good hand-holders here and talk about most anything. We have a bird person here and Chevy who makes a relaxation garden in her yard every spring. I hope she still reads here and maybe she will post.

Great group of ladies here ( Carole is on her way to her and her Dh's summer retreat in MN ) who will hang in here with you every step of the way.

Meg101

IllinoisLady - I like the quotes you post on this thread. Keep them coming. Have you considered starting a thread for wise, uplifting quotes? I enjoy copying them and sending them to family members and friends.

IllinoisLady

Meg

I'm so glad you like the quotes so much. I started being a 'quote' person in another area/thread of BC. Org. So --- been posting them here since very late 2007 thru to now. The original thread happened to be all ladies from Illinois. Never having done anything much on a computer and not having any idea how to use and be on a blog ( it still can be an issue for me ) I sometimes used favorite quotes that I just liked to help me interact with others on the blog. It seemed almost immediately the Illinois ladies responded favorably, so much so that they asked me to find a quote to use everyday to help us all start our day out. In time most of the ladies that I started with went NED and slowly but surely pretty much quit using the blog. They often come to read the quotes I still leave there -- they just don't post anymore.

One day I decided that maybe others would like to see a nice daily quote so I began to share them here as well. They often say just what I feel but I don't have a clever way with words and find it easier to share it said in someone else's way.

Please do keep copying them and sharing them with others. I think it makes the world a better place and it starts my day with sunshine no matter what is going on outside. One of my all time favorite quotes is in my signature line which I'm sure you've looked at somewhere at some time along the way.

Have a wonderful afternoon.

ChiSandy

Welcome to our involuntary sorority, Emgee! Hope your course of treatment goes smoothly & successfully. We here are all "in your pocket" for every appointment, test & procedure.

Finally made it up to 70 here by the lake. My housekeeper is in AL for her DGD's h.s. graduation, and due to Clark St. construction there's no parking so I couldn't drive, so I took a Lyft to my mani and the bus back. Nice sunny day, no wind, dry (ish)--great to be able to go outside in just jeans, long-sleeve cotton top, and sandals.

What's driving me crazy right about now is a plague of ants on our breakfast nook table, to which I came home today after my mani. I have emptied all bowls & baskets of stuff that isn't sealed, and cleaned them and vinyl placemats in hot water & dish detergent, and zapped ants dead repeatedly (5 x now) with Lysol all-purpose cleaner spray (don't want to use insecticide because of our cats). They even got into my thermal shopping tote, which I filled with soapy hot water and dumped several times. My housekeeper did the same several times too before she left for Birmingham last night. Of course, whenever the exterminator comes on the first of the month there's no sign of six-legged critters. I don't know where they're coming from--I don't see a nest or a trail of them. But every time I go back to the table they're swarming. I might buy some ant traps and supposedly pet-friendly bug spray, but if that doesn't work I'm gonna have to call the exterminator & sequester the cats.

Emgee

Thanks for your welcome, ChiSandy. I'm puzzled ... why don't I see the reply I made earlier to Illinois Lady?

ChiSandy

Emgee, the forum software has a charming habit of sometimes "eating" posts, and slowing down typing speed (especially on mobile devices). It's particularly maddening when using more than one keystroke for deleting words, which takes forever and deletes more than intended. Also, when editing on a mobile, you have to insert an extra space after every edit and the final period of the last sentence. Often can be rebooted by clicking on "use plain text editor" and then clicking on "use rich text editor."

I always highlight and "copy" my posts before hitting "submit" or "save," because sometimes the software makes me re-log-in--and the previous post has disappeared. Then I go back down to the post window and paste. It's a pain, but beats retyping a long post.

CeliaC

Warm welcome to you, Emgee. Did you click the Submit button after your reply? If so, who knows why - many of us have experienced "disappearing" posts. Technology is great, but only when it works.

Emgee

Many a slip twixt the cup and the lip, eh? So then, thanks for the welcome, CeliaC. And thanks to you too, IllinoisLady. Wanted to add that I agree with Meg about the quotes you choose t [ost. Very uplifting!

IllinoisLady

Sandy, we get ants here on occasion but so far this year no. The ones we have gotten didn't bother the food, but might have come in because it was too wet outside. We have the high water table and some of our rains leave lots of puddles in our yard. Likely not helpful that we have drainage ravines on either side of the house that carry water to the lake behind us.

Been a beauty of a day here so far. We did break down and turn the air on last night. Neither of us slept well the night before and thought we'd see if a constant cooler temp might help. Worked like a charm. Sooooo we have left it on. If we have to start using it early, maybe we can stop using it early.

Emgee I am always delighted that someone shares my love of quotes. I have loads of different quote newsletter sources that come every morning so I can find something. I generally use the one that seems to say 'take me' and now and then someone will right and say it was just what they needed to see.

IllinoisLady

The most extraordinary thing about the oyster is this. Irritations
get into its shell. It does not like them. But when it cannot get
rid of them, it uses the irritation to do the loveliest thing an oyster
ever has a chance to do. If there are irritations in our lives today,
there is only one prescription: make a pearl. It may have to be
a pearl of patience, but, anyhow, make a pearl.
And it takes faith and love to do it.

Harry Emerson Fosdick

IllinoisLady

So pretty outside this morning. It was so nice I grabbed the hose and gave everything a nice drink of water. Nothing much planned today, but plenty to do. Had to go to town yesterday so ran into Goodwill ( I usually refrain and go Sunday morn when it is very quiet there ) while DH was next door at the home center. Picked up a couple of good books for 50 cents each.

Gave me something to do since I'm not much of a shopper/browser in a store when I don't want something. Also we have a new ( been there since the Goodwill came ) Dollar Store. It is sort of fun as you can find a lot of 'goodies' and everything really is just a dollar. Some is more junk -- but they have gardening gloves and other items that you can stock up on and when they become too bad just toss them out. I also got a very small dishpan so I could clean some dishes I use every day for my cats -- and not have the sink full of little food bits and have to do a truly thoroughly heavy clean-up. Now I just pick the little pan out of the sink and empty it outside. So lots of fun things now and then. I actually try not to go to the store too often --- too easy to come home with things you don't need right now.

Hope you all have a fantastic day.

Anneb1149

Hi all

Welcome to Emgee. This page was one of the biggest comforts I had during my treatment in 2013-14 and for a long while after. I don’t get here as often as I’d like anymore, but really enjoy it when I do.

My youngest son (32) told me today that he will be leaving for the Air Force on June 18th. I know he is really excited, and I said all the right things, but my heart is breaking. He plans to make a career of it, which means another long distance child and any grandchildren they may have. Tim has refused to listen to any advice from others that have been in the military, and insists the system has changed. When he stopped by Mon, he said, at this point, whenever he got his approval, he was not going to leave until after his birthday, June 22nd. Guess what- he is leaving before his birthday. My heart breaks for his wife as well- according to him, it could be up to 7 months before she can join him. And he is leaving her here with two massive pit bulls. They are both good personalities, but I am very concerned about her having to walk them 3x’s a day, one at a time. Tim is 6’4” and about 200lbs of solid muscles. Nissa is maybe 5’4” and 110lbs. Once the summer is over and my older son goes back to So Carolina, I would love to have Nissa stay here with us, but I already have 2 good size dogs already and cannot have 4 large dogs.

Speaking of my older son, he will be arriving next weekend. He will attend the graduation ceremony at the HS he teaches at, and leave straight from there to drive down. Graduation is later in the day this year, so he won’t be starting out till early evening at best. It’s a 9-10 hr drive. He will get here maybe 3 or 4am, and has to be at the camp’s staff orientation at 9am the next morning. I probably won’t see him till Sat evening. I really worry about him on the drive, but he has done it so often now, he doesn’t mind it at all. I was just at his house for a week, and am really looking forward to his wife and daughters coming down. She will probably come mid to late June, but plans to stay longer than the usual 2 weeks this year. Rob’s girls will be 5 and 2 in June, and he really misses them while here for 10 weeks. He told his wife he intended to keep the older daughter here for a few extra weeks, as she is old enough to attend the camp this year. His wife did not like that at all, and finally agreed to come down for 4-6 weeks. I can’t wait.

Meanwhile, my middle daughter, who now lives 2 hrs away hasn’t spoken to me or visited since the end of Apr. When I was there with my older daughter at the end of April, it was very clear that she and her husband have totally lost control of their 9 yr old son. The night before we left, he got into trouble and there was a free-for-all verbal fight going on. Kayden was screaming obscenities at them and they didn’t even notice because they were screaming too loud themselves. I had already talked to them about letting Kayden stay here for the summer and go to my son’s camp. When they moved away a year ago March, Kayden was so angry about the move that he became a terror at school, so much so that they decided to “homeschool” him this year. Don’t think that worked at all, and they intend to send him back to school next year. I suggested that he come here for the summer and go to camp so he can get used to being part of a group, and following the teacher’s commands in a fun filled environment before returning to school. Hi Dad thought that was a great Idea, but the morning after the the fight, I asked if I could take him home with me at that time. They refused simply because that is what he wants more than anything else in the world. Apparently every time they fight, he threatens to run away to me. When they wouldn’t let him come home with me, I told them they had to change their parenting methods as what they were doing obviously wasn’t working. She hasn’t spoken to me since. This is not a new tactic for her, and I know she will be fine the next time we see each other. Meanwhile, her two sisters are keeping in contact with her.

Well, as is usual for me, there is a lot more going on, but that’s enough for now. Hope everyone is doing well and enjoying nice weather.

Anne

ChiSandy

Sorry to hear about your kids either moving far away (for however long that may be) or disappointing you. When they grow up and are under their own roofs, there's not much we can do unless they are abusing your grandkids in such a way that the law would allow you to sue for custody--and as heartbreaking as their weird lifestyle is impacting Kayden and no matter how much he'd prefer to live with you, the law would be of no avail.

Finally warming up here, to 80 today and 90s this weekend. Started the week with the heat cranked (and still too cold overnight to plant tomatoes), then only one day with it off and the ceiling fans on, and starting tomorrow the A/C turned on. Tree and grass pollens are high, too. Sat. & Sun. they're also predicting enough storms to make this the wettest May in Chicago's history. Meanwhile, Leslie just picked up Gordy to drive him to the bus station for his trip to Grand Rapids (flights too expensive, no train) where he's standing up for a friend's wedding. Cost him as much to rent a tux for this wedding as to buy the pale bluish beige suit his BFF picked for his groomsmen to wear next month (Gordy is best man for that wedding, at which I'm supposed to help play the processional). At least he'll get a few summers of wear out of that suit. But his BFF wants the groomsmen to wear brown dress shoes--and Gordy has only walking shoes in that color. I'm so glad my own bridesmaid days are over!

Off to WF to pick up some Copper River sockeye they just got in (no king salmon yet). This year's catch--and their allotment--is so small that they had to raise the price to more per pound than Chilean sea bass or prime dry-aged steak, and limited to 1 lb. per customer. (Gonna divvy it up into 4 pieces, soak a cedar plank and try to cook one piece that way tonight), Looks like we'll be grilling burgers, brats, and maybe a couple of ribeyes this weekend.

IllinoisLady

"You will learn a lot about yourself if you stretch in the direction of goodness, of bigness, of kindness, of forgiveness, of emotional bravery. "

– Cheryl Strayed

IllinoisLady

Anne good to see you. I had started to wonder. Sometimes if I wonder enough I write a pm. Hadn't gotten there quite yet, but close. I did chuckle a bit about your son and calling shots for the military. As I recall from my younger WAC years. There is your way, my way, and the Army's way --- and of course the last way ALWAYS won out. I can't say for certain ( my time was well back in the early 60's ) what the military is like today and I don't know anyone there enough to ask. I would say though that I' betting it to be much like it was way back then. I enjoyed it all --- there was a uniformity to all of it which could be a comfort. You know what is expected and some good regulation to existence can work well. You always start at the best place and it is tidy and efficient. I do wish him well especially since he intends to make it a career. You do learn how to have a whole life tucked into a footlocker.

We are up to the 90's today -- ouch !! It could be worse though. Our last rain was several days ago so the humidity isn't too bad. The majority of outside work is done with a couple of easy spots ( early in the morning in the shade ) to work on yet. So onward for now.

I hope you will all have a fine Friday. I think I'm going to be lazy this afternoon.

SoCalLisa

my youngest son moved from San Diego to Washington state. So sad for me. But I left after college from NY to California so I can't say much. I spent 5 years in the Navy and 16 as a Navy wife. The separations are never easy. But doable. I learned how to do or fix almost anything . To be both independent and dependent.

IllinoisLady

Two today because I was unable to choose between two excellent quotes.

Self-respect cannot be hunted. It cannot be purchased. It is never for sale. It cannot be fabricated out of public relations. It comes to us when we are alone, in quiet moments, in quiet places, when we suddenly realize that, knowing the good, we have done it; knowing the beautiful, we have served it; knowing the truth, we have spoken it.

Whitney Griswold

More about self-respect.

Would that there were an award for people who come to understand the concept of enough. Good enough. Successful enough. Thin enough. Rich enough. Socially responsible enough. When you have self-respect, you have enough.

Gail Sheehy

IllinoisLady

Lisa it is painful to be separated from loved ones, but you give truth to the fact that we can find blessings in things that are far from our liking. We learn and grow if we can take unpalatable items and change them to something better -- not perfect, and maybe even still a bit hurtful when we are caught in moments of sadness, but time can help brighten the path if we use it wisely.

Ewww it is going to be hot again today. A slight very spotty rain yesterday early evening so I think some humidity out but hopefully not too bad. Lots to catch up on today. We had a funeral yesterday ( my comfort care patient ) which was I thought wonderful. The family kept it short which I think was wonderful as my patient was 96 yrs. of age. The truth is when your are that age not a lot of people are left -- so my patient had ( knowing what always comes at the right time ) picked out some very favored Bible verses and an old hymn that she loved ( Amazing Grace ) and asked that they be put in and that was all she really wanted. What a loving family -- they honored her wishes.

I hope you all have a great Saturday and a nice lead-up to Memmorial Day and any plans you might make.