Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

carolehalston

Hello from cool MN--I wish this was a true greeting! It has been much warmer than we like. Sadly we are running the a/c in the afternoons and evenings as it warms up to middle 80's, up to 90 yesterday. At least it is cool and pleasant in the morning, low 60's this morning. I take my coffee out on the deck and enjoy the bird activity and the view of the lake.

This time of year the vegetation along the shoreline, reeds with cattails, is low. As it grows and becomes lush, it shuts off our lake view through the trees.

As you would expect, the resort/campground is buzzing with human activity this holiday weekend. I have done quite a bit of socializing but this afternoon I am staying cool inside the camper. I avoid being in the sun.

One improvement is an extension of the dock and a tee at the end for fishing. I will enjoy being able to fish without having to talk dh into going out in the boat, which we have not yet launched. We also have not purchased our fishing licenses.

We arrived on Wednesday after travelling Monday and Tuesday. The next day I went to town and arranged for a gym membership for our four months here. I also have signed up for a women's golf event next Tuesday.

I went to a wonderful plant nursery and bought pots of blooming plants to brighten up our deck. DH likes red gerantiums so we have two large pots of those plus some other smaller pots of flowers. Enough for me to water and nurture and enjoy. I also have two planters with an assortment of herbs.

With any luck the weather will cool off. Meanwhile everything was fine with our camper/summer home. So all is well.

Happy Saturday to all.

IllinoisLady

Carole I'm glad you arrived safely and found your home away from home in good shape. Your deck will be pretty and inviting. I have another friend who doesn't do well unless she can putz in some way with at least potted plants. She always had their yard at their house so nice, then they had to move in town to an apt. and then she set out some pots there. Now I'm not sure. Her daughter had to take her to the Chicago area ( daughter has lived there all her life ) after yrs. as Mrs. S was struggling with the beginnings of some Alzheimer's/dementia ( wasn't diagnosed when they left here ) and she is in an apt. style place I think.

Hopefully you will get cooler. It is a bit warmer here than usual for what is to me early in the yr. for 90 degree heat and though MN is a bit far North for too much heat I guess everyone can have some not so normal times these days.

Getting ready to make my almost daily trip to the far end of town ( once we get into town two miles from here ) to Walmart. Always something it seems. I think my car could almost go by itself.

So glad you arrived safe and sound. Enjoy those lovely mornings.

ChiSandy

90s in the city but low-to-mid-80s here by the lake after storms last night--I'll take it.

Anneb1149

Hi all,

Our weather is awful. We are in the middle of a named tropical storm (or depression). We are having very heavy rainfalls, with normal rain in-between and a few spells of cloudy, windy, yucky stuff. We knew it was coming, so got most of our running around done early yesterday.

Found out yesterday we have termites. My brother found some really tiny worms with wings on his lampshade when turning it off one night. I called my exterminator, not really expecting to see him till Tues at best, but he came yesterday. He called a friend at Orkin, and they will be here Thurs. He says they have a spray gel now that they say is much better than tenting. It poses no danger to the dogs or us, we don’t have to empty all our dishes and we don’t have to leave for 2 days. Plus they said the gel stays around longer to continue getting any strays. They spray all the wood in the attic, and all exit doors. Then for $75 a year for the first five years, they will come to check that there isn’t a new infestation. Could’ve been worse I guess.

My DD and DGS spent most of the day moving him out of his current room into the small “office/ bedroom”. He had one of the largest bedrooms in the house, and despite repeated requests, has totally refused to make any effort to clean it up. So we decided the smaller the room, the smaller the mess. He really had no objections to the move. They had the smaller room completely empty (including the closet) when I got up at 9:15 this morning. I sorted through the stuff I have for the grandkids, then my brother helped rearrange the cabinets in the garage to hold what we are keeping. Very proud of how much we all accomplished in one day. Of course, by the time we started on the garage, I was sitting on a beach chair offering suggestions, but my back hurt to much for me to actually help much.

Yesterday, I told you about my middle daughter and how she wasn’t talking to me, and hadn’t for about 5 weeks. Imagine my surprise when she called last night, just to “catch up”. We talked for a little more than an hour, with not one word about why it had been so long. This is pretty typical for her. She was abused before we adopted her, which led to some poor decisions as a teenager. She has a pretty negative self-esteem, although other people (not family) would not recognize that. She desperately wants love, but gets scared when anyone gets too close, because they will see how awful she really is, so she will do something to break the relationship, and basically cut you off before you cut her off. She and I had become extremely close when I was there while they moved a couple of months ago, so I wasn’t at all surprised whenshe imagined a reason to back off. It breaks my heart that she has done this with me many, many times over the years, and even though I always welcome her back, she still can’t allow herself to trust my love for her.

I’m happy- she will be down either Mon or Tues with all three kids. Hope you are all staying dryer than we are

Anne

carolehalston

We slept with the a/c on again last night. We turn the a/c fan on low so that we don't notice the cycling on and off. Also a small fan in our bedroom makes a noise so we hear no outside noises. It's similar to sleeping in a motel room with the hum of the window unit.

It's overcast this morning. The Cities (Minneapolis/St. Paul), farther south, are supposed to have dangerously high temperatures today, up to 100 heat index. There are thunderstorms to our west but they may or may not hold together long enough to reach us. It's actually quite dry and we could use rain. Wind, however, is never welcome.

Anne, I'm glad that you seem to have solved the termite problem fairly easily. The national weather forecast had a lot to say about the tropical storm in the Gulf and the enormous amount of rainfall expected. Mother Nature seems fond of extremes. Too much or too little of rain, wind, snow.

I have been talking to my mother most days and she sounds good. Yesterday she won two bingo games. The prizes were snacks and she chose two honey buns. The Little Debbie variety. Even without the $1 prize for weekday bingo, it's fun to win and call out "Bingo!" There is one African American lady, Mrs. Pea, who wins the prize for a loud BINGO.

Happy Sunday to all.

IllinoisLady

Doing nothing for others is the undoing of one's self. We must be purposely kind and generous, or we miss the best part of existence. The heart that goes out of itself, gets large and full of joy. This is the great secret of the inner life. We do ourselves the most good doing something for others.

Horace Mann

IllinoisLady

Carole I hope your weather stays stable where you are. That heat index ( aways from you ) sounds just awful. Definitely going to be very sticky in St. Paul. Sounds like it will be warmer for you today than you care for.

Anne, I do second the idea that you fortunately found your problem and will easily fix it. Not long ago I had a termite inspection done here. Not because I thought we had them but because for several yrs. we had a small woodpile very close to the house for an outdoor fire stove. We have a lot of bugs here and I wanted to feel assured that we were still okay. Also living in the 'woods' thoughts of termites do cross my mind now and then. So -- no termites but a couple of black snakes under the house. Dh sent away and got some humane snake traps. At his age he wasn't going to go under and capture them by hand. So far -- nothing. Not sure they are still under the house. Maybe they GOT all the mice/rodents or whatever was available under there for food and left. Told Dh, if you catch anything now for sure you won't know if it came from under the house or was wandering around in the yard somewhere. This gizmo is a sticky pad on the bottom. Some way or other -- the smell of mouse in put on the upper portion. The snake crawls in and gets stuck. Then according to instructions you carry the snake ( and trap together ) quite away from your house and then pour a bunch of vegetable oil around the snake -- and it will be able to wiggle its way off the sticky part of the pad.

Before the house was fully built the man doing it had a huge sheet of very heavy plastic spread out fully through the whole underneath -- so it is not totally ( from what I understand, sure wouldn't know from personal experience ) icky being underneath the house. It would be though off-putting to try and crawl out and away from snakes. The guy from the t.v. ( Charter ) service came out yelling. He didn't like snakes at all.

Well not that I've turned the conversation to snakes rather than termites...…….Another hot one here today but some things I'll need to do outside. I'm working on weeding a small area and if I get a chance will wash my car again. I think the inside is still fine so a bonus for me. I can be flamboyant with the water hose since I won't need to do anything inside.

All my re-plantings are doing pretty good. My green thumb wilted some time back so I'm usually standing over anything planted wondering about it. My cousin said next yr. most of what she donated will be super lush. This ground cover grows weed style and takes over nicely. This will be great for us as much is hard to grow here for the amt. of shade. If not that, dh and his mowing tractor. I've cautioned him to be VERY careful and planted things that should not be too easy to get too. Also as he is semi-retired now he will have more time to 'watch' where he is going.

Hope you all have a beautiful ( and not too hot and humid ) Sunday.

MinusTwo

Heat Index in Houston today - 102 degrees. Carole, wish we were there!!!

ChiSandy

Hot for the lakefront today--just checked and it's 88. (High 90s inland). Have all ACs on--before last night, our master BR one produced enough cool air, espec. with the ceiling fans, to cool the front downstairs as well, though we've been running the one in the den bec. of southern exposure. Nice and pleasant indoors, but have errands to run, so out I go (ugh). Putting ice packs in thermal shopping bags in the back of the car (and keeping the AC cranked in there too). Feel like an eco-criminal, but there's just so much comfort I'm willing to sacrifice. (Will likely get into a mild argument tomorrow at our BBQ with an ultra-progressive friend who will chide me for not boycotting enough companies--even for using almond instead of oat-milk or hemp-milk in my cappuccinos because it takes a gallon of water to grow one almond. She's the only one I know who can guilt-trip me for being merely liberal).

IllinoisLady

IllinoisLady

Be unselfish.
That is the first and final commandment for those who
would be useful and happy in their usefulness.
If you think of yourself only, you cannot develop because
you are choking the source of development,
which is spiritual expansion through thought for others.
- Charles William Eliot

carolehalston

Today was a very nice day. DH and I played golf and enjoyed being out on the golf course. It was quite breezy and not humid. Tomorrow I'll go back to the same golf course and play with a women's group. I hope to meet some nice women.

This afternoon I tidied up the laundry room at the resort, which wasn't terribly dirty but benefitted from sweeping and emptying the overflowing garbage can. There is only one washing machine and one dryer and a laundry tub for hand washing. I inspected the Gut Hut this afternoon and will sweep and clean it up tomorrow or the next day. It's a small building for cleaning fish. Those who use it are responsible for cleaning up after themselves. But they are mostly men. Figure it out for yourself!

Happy Memorial Day to everyone.

IllinoisLady

If people only knew the healing power of laughter and joy, many of our fine doctors would be out of business. Joy is one of nature's greatest medicines. Joy is always healthy. A pleasant state of mind tends to bring abnormal conditions back to normal. -Catherine Ponder

IllinoisLady

Your worth is not measured by what you do. Nor can you calculate the degree of your worthiness by what you possess. Your worth is a function of your being. Your being is colorless, genderless, and believe it or not, ageless. Your being is worthy of honor, admiration, and respect. It is a vessel of love and light. It is a beacon of inspiration. -Iyanla Vanzant

Fromgrammatomom

i want to say “Thank You” to each person here. Thank you fo allowing me to express my pain, frustrations and my celebrations. But especially Thank You for all of the unending support. I have been busy lately with my gardening and my new job. I talked a cafe owner into allowing me to bake at his restaurant. Just part time but he and his customers love it. So do I. I will go for know as I have a 2 yr old requiring attention and I need to bake bread for the house (daily job). Lots of hugs and prayers for al

carolehalston

Fromgrandmatomom, I'm glad things are working out for you. Yum. I can smell that baking bread and am envious.

DH and I went to the gym this morning and I was dripping with perspiration (as usual) by the time I had finished my routine. I brought a changing of clothes so that I could do some grocery shopping afterwards. First we drove less than a block from the gym to Great Northern restaurant to have breakfast. On the way back to the resort we stopped at a fishing supply place and bought our fishing licenses. Now if I can retrieve my fishing gear from our boat, which is still up on the boat trailer, I can fish off the new dock that extends out into water that is deep enough for decent-sized walleye and Northerns.

Mainly I just like to cast and sit in a chair and enjoy looking at the lake. If I'm really lucky a loon or two will swim into view and entertain me with their diving down for fish.

This afternoon I did three loads of laundry. That involved quite a bit of walking back and forth from the camper to the laundry. The dryer is making a noise that makes me suspect it will need some repair soon.

Happy Wednesday to all.

pingpong1953

I had an exciting day today - I got my first haircut since starting chemo last July. The back and sides (mostly around the ears) is growing a lot faster than the rest of my head, so I had that trimmed up so now it looks like a very short haircut instead of chemo grow-out. So glad to get that done, because the letrozole is causing miserable hot flashes and I can't stand to wear a scarf or a hat.

Wren44

Pingpong, That's a real milestone. I'll bet it looks very nice.

Last weekend we were driving around in DS's suv which is a lot higher than my little ford. I was putting my left foot in and hoisting myself into the seat multiple times. Next day I could barely walk. It's still sore 4 days later but getting better. I think perhaps I should start to do a little exercise and get in better shape. It was nice to be able to fit the whole family into one vehicle. We went up to a nature preserve and saw sand hill cranes, which I'd never seen before. Lots of other birds as well. DS & DIL are birders and it was nice to hear the names while looking at the birds.

carolehalston

Wren, I enjoy seeing sandhill cranes. I once saw a couple of them doing their courting routine. The state of MS has a Sandhill Crane Preserve. We knew a couple of rv'ers who worked there one winter. Actually we still "know" them! They were full timers then but have since become house dwellers.

Pingpong, I started taking Effexor (75 mg) when I was diagnosed with bc and went cold turkey off hormones. Studies show that Effexor helps with menopause symptoms. I had only mild SE's with arimidex. It seems to be important to be active when you're taking it. I kept exercising and resumed playing golf after I had healed from bilateral and construction. Some women have worse SE's than others.

The other side of the coin is that it isn't easy to stop taking Effexor. Though it can be done. I have weaned myself to taking it every other day. It made me so content that I found myself not having enough initiative.

It is cool this morning and we have windows and door open. I will go for a walk after I have my coffee. Two or three mugs!

This afternoon I have an appointment to have my hair cut. DH will be playing golf with a men's group so I'll have to drop him off and pick him up when the round is over. We have one vehicle here in MN, dh's pickup truck.

Happy Thursday.

IllinoisLady

The life that is sharing in the interests, the welfare, and the happiness of others is the one that is continually expanding in beauty and in power and, therefore, in happiness. -Ralph Waldo Trine

ChiSandy

96 today, even near the lake.

carolehalston

The weather forecast for the state of MN was amazing this morning. Highs across the state ranged from 40's to 90's. The North Shore (Duluth and Grand Marais and Ely) of Lake Superior stays cool. Minneapolis/St. Paul will be high 70's to 80. Farther south will be 90's. We will be high 60's to low 70's. This range of temperatures will lead to storms tonight.

What we like about northern MN is the expectation of relief when we have a day or days of high humidity. In Louisiana there is seldom any relief during a very long summer.

This morning it is overcast. I was cool enough when I got up that I reached for a sweatshirt cardigan.

Wishing everyone a good Friday.

IllinoisLady

We all have choices to make about the quality of our presence and how we will affect those around us. The quality of our presence is dependent not on what we can or cannot "do" but on the essence of who we are and how we relate to others.Becoming the presence we would like to be is an intentional work. It grows while we make peace with ourselves and with life. -Sallirae Henderson

IllinoisLady

Muggy day here, but I did some weeding out front by the fences so I'm feeling really okay with the yard. Planted some kitty ears yesterday ( another item my cousin no longer wanted ) and hoping they will take off where I put them. Dh can't possibly mow them down because I used them to cover an area by the a/c condenser. There is a highly noticeable spot where a piece of aluminum had to be put in to cover where some wires go into the house. The kitty ears should be just the right height. They will be thinnish, but I'm pretty sure most would focus on the plant rather than what is behind. `

Spending some time this afternoon with some of my favorite pooches today. It is always fun for me. Then back home here to pay a couple bills. There was an old adage that I haven't heard for awhile. I don't even recall totally how it was said, but it went something like this --- there is nothing certain in this world save death and taxes. I think one could throw monthly bills in there as well. At my house those bills are as regular as the atomic clock.

Hope you all have a fabulous Friday.

ChiSandy

All ACs in the house & car cranked to the max today, and wore a T-shirt dress. Today, the heat is back on, we briefly brushed 60 but mostly the 50s, and I'm about to head out in a twin sweater set, long pants and a leather jacket. Gotta love Chicago weather--the city where closet space is essential, for all parts of a four-season wardrobe at the ready.

L upper arm still weak & sore. At least rotator cuff isn't torn. No MRI results yet.

carolehalston

Sandy, yay on rotator cuff not torn. I have always dreaded having that injury because the surgery and rehab are not fun, according to those who have been through it.

It's cool and rainy here today, temperatures in the 50's. I'm happily garbed in jeans and a sweat shirt and we have the heat pump on, mostly for dh's benefit. He gets colder than I do.

After some busy days we're taking it easy here today. When I suggested the gym, dh was more in favor of gym tomorrow. He's busy trying to print out electricity bills for the other renters in the campground. The man always fights battles with the computer program, with the printer, etc etc. He gets vocal with any uncooperative piece of equipment. Each campground site has its own electrical meter and dh reads the meters each month and prints out a bill.

Happy Saturday to all. Minus, thinking of you in that TX heat. We have the Weather Channel on and New Orleans is in the 90's today with high humidity.

IllinoisLady

The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am,
then I can change.
- Carl Rogers

IllinoisLady

Carole, if you look out your window and see a bunch of people with sweatshirts on right outside your door it may be all of us waiting for breakfast. The heat is on here and has been. I must admit that in my part of the woods ( just barely on the south edge ) in Illinois we haven't had extreme humidity, but it is there. If we have something to do it has to be as early in the morning as possible -- if not possible, we suffer a bit. Today will be another hottie, but tomorrow ( after a possible overnight rain storm will be much cooler. Not past 85 the weatherman says. Hope he is right. We have had the air on here pretty consistently starting about the beginning of the second week in May. Sigh !!! Oh those days when it didn't go on until the second or third week in July. It is now that I miss the basement we had in town.

We had a rec room, and bar in one end and the room next door had the washing machine, shower facilities, and extra storage. We always wished ( since we loved that house ) that it was out here but other people out here wished for other houses on their piece of the lake -- so as usual its all relative. I can't say at this point we actually miss the stairs. They were not as steep as some of the older homes in town, but it was an older Cape Cod with a little dining nook next to the dining room, and these rooms were in the back of the house.

Can identify with at times major frustration over the electronic equipment here. We bought a tech service which keeps us going. Lately I've ( a time or two ) gotten those strange notices that will if your not careful, get you to tap into the link they have -- well, if you do than you get a big warning that you have been infected with a virus and your computer will never work again. Long ago this is what originally convinced us we needed a tech service. Now we just shut the computer off ( these sites like to prevent you from leaving ) wait on a slow count to 15 and turn it back on. Usually does the trick.

Hoping you all do well in the heat. I don't know about other places, but I did well in the heat in Texas. I was stationed there -- in San Antonio, but I was young and you can do a lot when your young that is a burden when you are in some of the later yrs. Thinking of all and wishing you all well.

ChiSandy

Another day barely brushing the low 60s (but feels like 50s by the lake). At Sox Park (S. Side, about 3 mi. inland) it was windy and 62 at game time. Wind calmed down a bit and we sat in a sheltered part of the outdoor terrace room box (it was the Advocate Christ medical staff party). By the time the fireworks were over it was down to 55. The Sox beat the Brewers 8-3. Because Advocate is merging with a WI health system, the Milwaukee doctors were invited--but none came.

On the CTA train ride home, we walked down the platform along with a sizable group of riders to get into the first car (which is closest to the exit of our home station). It was nearly empty. Being more than slightly full--and prone to queasiness when riding backwards--we wanted to sit facing forwards for the long ride home. There were two such pair of seats, reserved for seniors & the disabled. One was blocked by about five people standing up and conversing--turns out, with an older person who had taken the seat.

The other was partly blocked by a young (no older than millennial), able-bodied man standing leaning against the window directly in front of the seats--legs spread out in front of him, back to the window, staring at his cellphone--all signs that he had staked out his "territory." Bob slid sideways into the aisle seat of the pair. "Excuse me," I said to the young guy, "I need to sit next to my husband." He refused to move, so I brushed past him and sat down. He moved six inches over along the wall (which would not have blocked my way had he stood there in the first place); but then turned to me and angrily said I should have waited to get his permission, I could have sat anywhere else--and that he was doing me a favor by not physically attacking me like the "average person" from his neighborhood would have. I told him it had nothing to do with that, but with the fact that he was young, we are old, there is a prominent sign--with an arrow pointing to the seats--reading "Priority Seating for Disabled and Seniors," he'd ignored my request to not block my way and HE could have chosen to sit or stand anywhere other than blocking a seat he had no right to occupy. I asked, "would you block your grandparents' access to those seats?" He reiterated that he hadn't give us permission and that we were lucky that he had reacted only verbally. I said "Well, wait till you get to be our age and someone young blocks your way." Then at the next stop he got off the train and up the escalator. (Mind you, nobody was blocking the doors so he was in no danger of missing his stop, as had happened to me several times during rush hour).

What really fries me is that if I am seated anywhere in a crowded bus or train and someone visibly pregnant, pushing a stroller, using a mobility aid or who looks older than me is standing, I get up and give them my seat. And even if the bus or train isn't crowded, I am in a Priority Seat and there's another such pair of seats vacant and someone in a wheelchair gets on, I still offer them mine (and flip it up to accommodate them if they accept). And it sometimes happens that I am standing on a crowded train while gum-chewing millennials are slouched seated, staring at their phones (deliberately not looking up and often listening to music or videos sans earbuds). What are Gen X parents teaching their kids--"better get what's yours, or someone else'll take it?"

Wren44

Karma will get him in the end. How uncool to threaten you. So far I've been lucky scoring a seat. Often a young woman will offer me hers and I accept with gratitude. It's not that I mind standing so much but I'm not tall enough to use the hanging straps comfortably. Most people here are pretty polite.