Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Comments
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Chivalry seems to be preformed more by women now though I do know there are some good men too. It's the young ones. A shame. The right thing to do is right whether and no matter what or when. I do believe Wren as you do --karma will come along and likely some beliefs and senses of entitlements will change and you can always hope for a little wistful remembrance that it is a lesson that could have been learned long ago. Hopefully with plenty of regret that it wasn't.
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Sandy - your story reminded me if something that I witnessed many years ago in the Toronto subway system. I was in a packed and horrendously humid subway car at rush hour. A teen was sprawled out sleeping across three seats. A woman got on the train and it was glaringly obvious from her mode of dress and garish makeup that she suffered mental health issues. She stomped over to the teen and hollered in a screechy voice “GET UP”. The groggy teen replied “get lost!” The car went silent and all eyes were on the pair. The woman shouted “GET UP!!” At least four more times. The teen kept replying “get lost!” Finally the woman yelled “IF YOU DONT GET UP IM GONNA SIT ON YOU!” Then she did....but didn’t just sit, turned so her back was to him and jumped up high and landed on him mid body. The teen let out a loud ‘ooooouuuuffgghh’ got up and slinked away. The crowd broke into applause. She stood up, took a bow, then sat back down. It was the funniest thing I’d ever witnessed on the subway. Wish that woman had been in your train...would have ‘learned’ your offender!
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My mom had a trick to get a seat on the subway when she was my age. She would peruse those seated. pick the most expensively-dressed man--especially if he were reading the NYT or WSJ--stand in front of him, and discreetly pretend to throw up in her mouth. Worked every time.
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Through the countless small actions we engage in, the loving hand
we reach out to another, the wants we let go of, the time
we give to those who most need it, we change our world.
A single step taken with mindfulness may mean the difference
between the life and death of another living creature. A single
thought of loving kindness may mean the difference between
loneliness or a sense of being loved for the person before us.
A single act of compassion may save another
person from feelings of abandonment.
Christina Feldman -
Been a beauty of a day here. So pleasant. Our a/c came on once very early. After that I opened the door and let down the screen. There is non humidity so it has stayed as nice as can be inside. It won't get too warm this week although since Dh will work a bit as well as myself, we will likely have to leave the air on. Most days we have a spot of time where the sun hits the house directly before all the trees shade it again --- if one or both of us were not home then we might be a/cing the out-of-doors.
I'll be doing 6 days of cat care this week and one overnight stay with a doggie friend. The two jobs will mesh a bit so I'm going to have to hustle a bit but by Saturday night I'll be able to relax. Likely make it a pizza supper night.
I'll also be checking on Dr B's wife as she has two compression fractures and may need some help with things so I'm going to toss that in somewhere. I think I'll be using the car wash once again, but only once.
Hope you all had a great Sunday.
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We actually did make it up to the low 70s, but with a strong lake breeze. SInce Bob is working the next two weekends (so he can take a 3-day-weekend for our BFFs' son's wedding, for which Gordy is best man and I--wrist willing--will help play the processional), he decided to have Father's Day in advance. We had brunch atop the Hancock, a corner table with views of both the lake and skyline. And he requested deep dish pizza (not my fave, but he hasn't had it in a long time) so we ordered out from our long-time old-standby Italian restaurant (where we've eaten since before Gordy was born).
Speaking of Gordy, he found a 1-BR apartment in an elevator building on Lawrence & Marine Drive for a very reasonable rent. Time to buy more furniture (might be hard to get his new-ish bedroom set out of the house, and he will need at least a dinette, sofa and chairs or loveseat), go through our surplus appliances, etc. He won't be taking either of the cats, though. I suspect that once he moves, our housekeeper will want to retire to Birmingham--if she can sell her house. Life goes on...it's only natural for someone his age to want to live on his own (as all his friends do).
My MRI results just came in. Not horrible but not as benign (in the generic sense) as I'd hoped. Good news: no fracture or dislocation, carpal tunnel syndrome, knuckle arthritis, ulnar tendon tear or tenosynovitis. Not-so-hot news: I didn't just strain the the TFCC (triangular fibro-cartilagenous complex) disc--I tore it, along with part of the "volar distal radial ulnar" ligament. (Hey, I don't mess around or do anything halfway). There's edema & synovitis of the wrist joint--and there's a little teeny chunk of either the disc or ligament floating around in the synovial fluid. There is "degenerative disease" (hello, arthritis, my old friend) at the basilar and triscaphal joint, with mild bone-spurring. There is some edema in the "pronator quadratus muscle belly," which explains why it hurts like an m.f. to turn my hand inward. And that clicking I first had when supinating (turning outward) that seems to have healed is not my tendon flopping around, but that little chunk of disk or ligament getting in the way.
At least I know it's not wearing the AppleWatch that is causing this (there is some tinfoil-hat cuckoo-nutso theory going around the Apple message boards that the emissions from the pulse sensors on the back of the watch--and radio waves from the cellular version, which I don't have--are causing people's wrists to hurt)--I actually injured my wrist when I fell (and likely aggravated it trying to open that stupid Tylenol bottle to boot). If anything, my watchband is acting sort of like a wrist support.
Unfortunately, the report in my portal doesn't include the pix.
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The three hardest tasks in the world are neither physical feats nor intellectual achievements, but moral acts: to return love for hate, to include the excluded, and to say "I was wrong." -Sydney J. Harris
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Sandy, that all sounds a bit complicated. Also sounds like you are already doing and have done pretty much a fix for this. I hope it can get better with a bit more time. Good that it is not as bad as the imagined woes, but in some ways it is relative. When you can't do what you need or want to do -- that isn't really good. Hoping for things to clear to a better point w/o having to do complicated maneuvers for it to happen.
I'm also glad that your son found a place for himself. It is a good thing to be in charge of your own household so to speak. Eventually it comes to everyone. I wish him great success.
Cool here today as we thought -- in the 70's. I'm very happy about the weather. Air is off, fans on and I think we can go through the whole day this way. I am starting my cat sitting job this afternoon. Was starting this morning but my friend decided to leave a bit later so I can fit in my haircut and a couple of other items. That is good.
I hope you all have a fantastic Monday.
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Sandy, I agree with Jackie. Your wrist diagnosis is complicated for non-medical folks. I, too, hope for the best outcome for you. It will be quite a change for you if Gordy moves out and then your housekeeper moves. Will you replace her?
I went to the gym this morning and afterwards did some grocery shopping. Back at home I spent a couple of hours in the galley cooking a layered eggplant dish for tonight's dinner and a second one for the freezer. Making this dish is a bit of work but I enjoy eating it and it's fits in well with my ww eating plan.
Today a paving company started working on asphalting the dirt street in our campground. The machinery has made a lot of noise. We will have to put up with some inconvenience for a couple of days. Our truck is parked up on the street by the entrance. We'll have to walk up there when we want to drive somewhere.
It has been a lovely day. Sunny and cool this morning. High in the low 70's. It's a bit warm in the camper but I haven't turned the a/c on.
Jackie, I hope your various jobs go well.
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I just lost a long post! My own fault.
Today has been a lovely day. I went to the gym, did some grocery shopping, and, back home, some cooking. I made one layered eggplant dish (sort of an eggplant lasagna) for tonight's dinner and another one for the freezer.
Sandy, I hope your wrist heals in such a way that it doesn't limit your use of it.
Jackie, good luck with your busy schedule this week.
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If my housekeeper moves, I will likely just get a weekly cleaning service, maybe help with laundry. It'd take us a year to "stage" our house, but as empty nesters a slightly smaller "nest" might be in order. We like the neighborhood, but it is tempting to be closer to downtown, especially Union Health where Bob thinks he'll probably transition full-time rather than retire outright. (It's located on the Near West Side, not far from United Center & Restaurant Row/Fulton Market).
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The most important element in human life is faith; if God were to take away all his blessings--health, physical fitness, wealth, intelligence--and leave me with but one gift I would ask him for faith. For with faith in him and his goodness, mercy and love for me, and belief in everlasting life, I believe I could suffer the loss of all my other gifts and still be happy.
Rose KennedyIf it can be verified, we don't need faith. . . . Faith is for that which lies on the other side of reason. Faith is what makes life bearable, with all its tragedies and ambiguities and sudden, startling joys.
Madeleine L'Engle -
I'm all for down-sizing. We did that as well as eliminating stairs. We could have managed stairs for a much longer time, but getting the chance to do without them seemed the better thing to do. It was going to end up an issue sooner or later, so in for a penny, in for a pound. Might as well take care of two or three problems or future problems when one can fit them into the issue your dealing with now.
We not only did the stairs and smaller home, but got our house in the woods and on the lake as well. We never-the-less miss our Cape Cod, but enjoy the blessings we received in exchange. Our bigger house could have ( their was a dish/food pantry there ) had the dining room easily converted to a bedroom, but there would still have been laundry issues -- so here we are on our 2&1/2 acres and no true regrets.
It will get warmer today, but no sure we would actually need the air on. If we do it would likely come toward evening. There is a little breeze outside and the fans are keeping up fine inside right now.
Hope you all have a really pretty day.
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Our high of 60 came before dawn. The weatherman on TV actually uttered the phrase "pneumonia front," as the colder air perversely moved in off the lake and spread southwestward. We made it all the way up to 54...
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Mornin all
Sandy, sorry about your wrist issues, especially because it is affecting your ability to play your music. All right injures tend to complicate our lives, but it just hurts more when it stops us from doing what we love most.
I rode the NYC transit system for years, and was amazed at the people who could fall asleep on the subway. I was fascinated that they each woke up just in time to get off at their stop. My Dad explained that the loud screech on the tracks just before the 42 St stop, was purposeful, to wake everyone to let them know they were midtown. Others got off at the next stop after they woke up, to get off and get on the uptown train to their correct stop. Maybe, but after a while, I fell asleep many times and never missed my stop.
The only public transportation I use now is the Atlanta train, the MARTA. There is a station at the airport, not far from baggage claim. I get on there, and get off at the last stop where my SIL picks me up. It may add a few more minutes to my trip, but saves my SIL from driving into the horrendous downtown Atlanta traffic. So far, maybe because I get on the first stop, I have had no problems, either with sitting, or with bad behavior.
Wow, have I had stress this week. I am trying to re-finance the 50k loan I have on my home. I got a great offer from a credit union, which will allow me to pay the loan off in 10 years by increasing the payment by $85 a month. Guy I talked to assured me it would be a piece of cake, given the equity in the house. Late last week, I got a call from a woman, saying I had to clear the 2 liens on the House. Liens? We never had a lien on the house. Turns out that happens automatically when you pull a permit to get work done. We had some windows and doors replaced as well as the roof. I told her both had been paid in full months ago. She said that doesn’t matter, they have to record the jobs as completed with the court. Called the roof company, took weeks and many calls to get a return call. They said they usually just let them expire, but would comply and send the paperwork. Had an even tougher time getting in touch with the window place, but when I did, they said they would send it to me ASAP. I got a form about a week later from them. The roofer emailed their form directly to the credit union. By the end of the day Fri I was relieved that we were back on track. She called Mon morn to tell me what she had was useless because neither had be recorded at the court. That started a back and forth between the bank and the roofers. Both insisted it was the other one’s job to record it at the court. Couldn’t get the window place at all. Meanwhile the bank is telling me they had already given us an extension, which expired Mon, and she could no longer guarantee the terms we had agreed on. By this time, I was a mess, and my brother, who is a very calming influence, is in Phoenix for 3 weeks. I finally decided I would have to go to both companies, get the original forms and go to the courthouse myself. Thankfully, my son has arrived for camp which starts Mon, so his plan is flexible this week, but he said Wed would work best for him. Still couldn’tget an answer from the windows. I Had found 2 copies of the window paperwork, but not the original. Then I remembered that it came by mail. I found the form in my purse, and right on the top it said it had been filed in the court. Then I called the roofer to find out where I needed to go to pick up his form, and he said! “Don’t worry about it, I’m going to file it for you, tomorrow” He said it was totally unnecessary because it had expired 6 months ago, but he could tell how frustrated I was, so he was going to take care of it. I couldn’t thank him enough!! Then the man I originally set this all up with finally returned my call. He said the woman was used to doing real mortgages and didn’t understand this was a “rapid re-fi”, which is different because the equity in the house could easily cover both the liens as well as the loan and still have lots of equity in the house. He also said that while he couldn’t “officially” guarantee the rates we had agreed on, they hadn’t changed in 5 years, so he really didn’t think a couple of days would make a difference. So all I have to do, is email the windows form to the bank this morning.
I also ended up at the Ortho Dr 2 weeks ago, for my sciatica pain. He gave me a shot right there (cortisone I think) and set me up for PT. I went back yesterday, and said none of it really helped so he set a referral to the pain Dr, to see if I need the shots that helped so much last year. At neither appt, did he even suggest Percocet, which I was happy with, because they tend to had them to you and say you’re good.
I really get a chuckle listening to your weather reports. Seems to me, at least, you all go from being snowed in to turning on the A/C so quickly. Because my weather doesn’t really change much, no changes in the trees or other obvious signs that there is a change of seasons, I am surprised to hear your reports change so drastically, so quickly.
Happy Wed to you all,
Ann
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Begin with your own inner peace.
Then use that inner peace
as a platform from which
to approach the outer world
with perspective, understanding, and patience.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie -
I'm chuckling already Anne. Not about your issues which seem as though they are going to turn out all right. Still a shame though that the original lady could have saved you sooo much grief. I'm finding it amusing that we have our a/c back on. Actually we could likely squeak by today but it will be getting at least 10 degrees warmer starting tomorrow and by starting the air today we can get all the humidity handled, but cool off the interior floors, walls, etc. before we actually start with the REAL heat that is coming.
I just finished a very late breakfast. So much to do this morning and had to also help Dh. His truck quit totally last night late at Walmarts -- we were out of coffee and were not about to face the morning w/o it. So had made a fast trip to get more. Got into the truck, turned on the key and nothing. Battery was gone. So, took him this morning to get the old one, then across the street to Auto Zone, then back to Walmarts to put it in. That was after the two and a half hours I had already worked and then I had to do my friends cats as well. Breakfast was at 12:45 but better late than never.
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Still haven't heard back from my hand surgeon. I got the MRI results in my patient portal inbox Sunday night. Monday I messaged my surgeon's office, but his RN wrote back that she didn't know if he's seen the report or the images (the latter weren't part of the report I got, which referenced them), he had to leave early for a meeting, would be in surgery all day yesterday and they had "a very busy clinic" today--she would get back to me. I'm very nervous, because practicing dulcimer last night hurt like hell and my technique is awful.
So I messaged my FP last night and told him about the report, asking if it was safe to play and if I should get another Medrol Rx. I mentioned that we have $1000 worth of gigs coming up ($500 this weekend alone) and that my singing partner is depending on the income. He messaged back this morning that I have an injury, not just an inflammation--and that steroids would only mask the symptoms and possibly weaken the tissues. He said if I absolutely, positively must play, to take a Tylenol 3 (or equivalent) an hour before--it would make it hurt less while playing (or maybe I just wouldn't care as much about the pain). He says that I will likely need surgery--or 4-6 weeks of splinting 24/7 ("limit hand use" was his warning).
Now, in order to get an opioid in IL you have to get a physical paper prescription in person from your treating physician. So I messaged him back that I could come in to pick one up after today's mani-pedi. For good measure, I called...and you guessed it: it's Wednesday, so the office was closed. I was not about to leave a message with his service and sound like a desperate drug-seeking junkie (I haven't taken an opioid since the day of my first cataract surgery in Nov. 2016), so I called Bob and asked if his partner could write me a script and I could drive down and pick it up. He explained IL's new procedure: the doctor has to log into the prescribing authority's website in Springfield, type in the patient's chart information justifying the prescription, get authorization, print the script out on triplicate paper and hand the original to the patient. No chart, no authorization. No more than a month's worth, no refills either.
So I faxed the MRI report to both my FP & his PA, with a lengthy cover letter describing the history of my injury (when it first happened in Feb. and I asked for advice, he wrote me back "11th Commandment: Thou Shalt Not Fall." Everyone's a comedian) and essentially throwing myself on their mercy. Even if I still don't hear back from my surgeon, and I'll have to risk further injury, if I get the Rx I can at least fulfill my contractual obligation this weekend and take it from there--for next week's festival set in IN, I can get by with just singing and playing harmonica (the one instrument I can play with my hand & forearm in a splint). But this weekend, I will just have to suck it up, wear the splint except while performing, and slather on the Voltaren, Arnica, Bio-Freeze, and lidocaine roll-on in between. I intend to do as much lecturing and as little playing as I can get away with during the workshops I'm teaching.
Of course, if the surgeon says I'd better cancel the gigs, I'll have to deposit the fees we would have earned into the duo's bank account. I don't want to follow the example of Art Garfunkel, who kept his vocal problems a secret until the week before a $10 million Simon & Garfunkel tour. No wonder Paul Simon hasn't spoken to him in 10 years. Garfunkel was afraid to tell him, but I'd been told that I should be healed by mid-May so long as I didn't touch an instrument--so I didn't till May 11. And I haven't healed.
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Goodness, Sandy, what a problem you're having getting a pain killer in IL and your husband's a physician! I'm so sorry you're being hampered from doing what you love to do and what you're obviously talented at doing.
I'm being lazy this morning, behavior that is becoming a pattern. DH was going out the door at 7:45 to do mowing when I was getting up. I enjoy drinking several cups of coffee while I check e-mail and catch up on bc.org forums and Facebook.
My plans for the day are to take a walk for exercise and to do some fishing from the fishing dock. It will be my first time to use my fishing pole this summer. I have a small container of leeches in the refrigerator. Yes, in the refrigerator!!!! These ugly fellows aren't cheap. Almost $4 for a small container so you have to keep them alive. Yes, you have to put your hands on them to get one on your hook.
Jackie, a new battery isn't a huge expense. The "fix" for the dead car could have been much more expensive. That's looking on the bright side.
Anne, so often we think a process will be simple and then it turns out to be complicated. I agree that the first person you talked to about the re-financing should have explained everything better. Glad you're working it out.
Wishing everyone a great Thursday.
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I just drove across town for a fasting blood test. It occurred to me that I'm not as safe a driver without some coffee. Adding to my agony, they had rearranged the waiting area to resemble a coffee shop. Now I'm home and drinking cup #2. My headache is going away.
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A habit for all of us to develop would be to look for something to
appreciate in everyone we meet. We can all be generous with
appreciation. Everyone is grateful for it. It improves every human
relationship, it brings new courage to people facing difficulties, and
it brings out the best in everyone. So, give appreciation
generously whenever you can. You will never regret it.
Carl Holmes -
Oh I can relate about the coffee thing. I think it is possible to not only get a headache from having to go without the caffeine, but also having to be so intense trying to keep your focus while going for those fasting tests. I come home from that feeling like I've been pounding in railroad spikes for an hour or two. Gave up smoking long time ago, so my big pleasure/addiction is coffee. Hey, you know a couple of cups a day is considered healthy. Sometimes I sneak in a couple more cups, but I just don't feel good w/o my coffee.
Carole, you are right. The battery was only $162.00 and that makes for cheap transportation. I'm just glad that we pretty much knew that it indeed was something relatively simple. The only issue was getting the old battery ( it was large ) out as Dh has the big truck engine and there is very limited room under the hood for anything including your hands. Not sure why but the old battery was actually bigger than the replacement. All's well that ends well. I did though sleep well last night and the extra running all over has helped me shed about a lb. and a half -- so not too many complaints from me.
Hot today.
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Jackie, I have blood in my caffeine stream.My singing partner's even more of a java junkie. No surprise that our most-requested song is "Caffeine."
My FP's nurse called this a.m. to tell me the Tyl#3 Rx was phoned in to my CVS. Seems the security rigamarole is not for codeine, but for liquid morphine, injectable Demerol, and the synthetic opioids Fentanyl,hydrocodone (Norco, Vicodin), oxycodone (Percocet, Fiorcicet, Percodan, OxyContin), and hydromorphone (Dilaudid, Opana). Tylenol w. codeine is an opiate, but in doses strong enough for euphoria, it also causes constipation & nausea--so the high isn't worth the hassle whether swallowed or crushed and snorted or injected. It's not popular on the street because it isn't strong enough a painkillier to be effective on post-surgical pain, so not many people even get the chance to inadvertently become addicted to it after having it prescribed after surgery.
My surgeon's nurse messaged me back: splint 24/7 exc. in the shower; use topical gels; try not to practice at all, and limit playing to only when absolutely necessary for the gigs, take "whatever seems to help" 1 hr. before, and then ice & elevate after each session. No weightbearing, twisting, using the L hand on banisters or getting up from chairs or sofas. He says that playing will not exacerbate injury but it will increase the pain. At our followup he will try another cortisone shot, but this time into the TFCC and not the tendon. At that time we will also discuss necessity of surgery & when to start PT/OT.
So I will take an Aleve and one Tyl.#3 an hour before each performance. (Will take only one Arthritis Tylenol--too much acetaminophen is harmful--and avoid Celebrex, so I don't cause GERD, on those days). Packing quite a few single-use instant ice packs for after each performance.
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Today is dh's birthday. He is 79. We went to the gym and had breakfast afterwards at one of our two breakfast places in town, West Forty. He isn't interested in going out to dinner tonight so we'll have one of his favorites, a pork steak.
I have been doing laundry today. Walking back and forth to the laundry room has added to my daily exercise.
Today is the beginning of the weekend arrivals. All the people are pleasant but I don't enjoy weekends as much as week days when it's quieter.
Yesterday I sat out on the fishing dock for 2 or 3 hours, enjoying the solitude and the weather. I got a bit too much sun on my arms and the skin on my feet exposed by my sandals. I caught a catfish, a trash fish up here, and a small walleye that was big enough to clean. But I set him or her free.
Happy Friday to all.
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Seeds of discouragement will not grow in the thankful heart. -unattributed -
It I a hottie today. About 94 with humidity. My cat friend ( due to weather ) came back a day early and is home as we speak. I was able to get most of the good stuff done for her that I wanted too. She had been busy so while waiting on cats to eat and laundry I picked out several things she hadn't been able to get too ( folding table items and cleaning and polishing her kitchen appliances ) got her sinks scoured out good and swept the whole house for her. I always try to leave things nice for her.
She came back a day early and my cousin ( now sitting with their dog ) added a day so while it will be easier ( no over-lapping of jobs ) I will be staying overnight for two nights rather than one. Aw well, it will be okay. Muffin is a really sweet dog -- an only child so he is easy to be around. Likes to ride in the car -- so we went for a little spin today.
So now looking for relaxation on Sunday. I'll be clear until the 22nd. when I will stay with Doc's dogs. That will be fun too.
Hope you are all having a fine day.
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Jackie, you remind me so much of my sister, Linda, when it comes to animals. My mother complained to me that she can hardly carry on a phone conversation with Linda because her animals are all demanding attention and she's talking to them as well as to my mother, who is hard of hearing.
It is overcast this morning. I plan to take my fishing paraphernalia out to the fishing dock. My next door neighbors, Mary and Lyman, who usually monopolize the dock are not here this morning so I should have it to myself.
Later I plan to go to Walmart's.
Busy day! Not.
Happy Saturday to all.
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And most of all, I will love myself. For when I do, will zealously inspect all things which enter my body, mind and soul. Never will I overindulge the requests of my flesh, rather I will cherish my body with cleanliness and moderation. Never will I allow my mind to be attracted to evil and despair, rather I will uplift it with the wisdom and knowledge of the ages. Never will I allow my soul to become complacent and satisfied, rather I will feed it with meditation and prayer. Never will I allow my heart to become small and bitter, rather I will share it and it will grow and warm the earth. -Og Mandino
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Another hot one today. Well, these are the times I stay busy inside. Not a lot here at home, though I rushed back this a.m. from cuz's house. I needed coffee and also a shower and clean clothes. I forgot my pj's yesterday and too lazy to come back here and get them. Errrg. I really don't like sleeping in clothes but made it through. Lost about 5 lbs. since the heat too over. Well, since we threw in a lot of early yard work this yr. Of course, the heat while not always un-tolerable does help you work up a good sweat. So, that is one of the things a great Spring does for you.
I'm down about 8 lbs. total. Hope it gives me a bit of an inspiration boost to keep working at it. Not having time to eat ( especially this week ) has rid me of some though I know it is far from the healthy way to do things. I'm fairly careful so it should all work out just fine. Come on inspiration.
Looking forward to getting my time off but liking that I will spend plenty of time with my little pal Muffin. See you all later.
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There are no small acts of kindness.
Every compassionate act makes large the world.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
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- 285 Who or What Inspires You?
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- 586 Alternative Medicine
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- 775 Diagnosed and Waiting for Test Results
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- 50 Immunotherapy - Before, During, and After
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- 109 Welcome to Breastcancer.org
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