Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

ChiSandy

Finally, same weather here as downstate, Jackie--only the wind began kicking up like crazy (blew out the flame on my lid-closed gas grill!) in early evening. Storms coming overnight--tail end will be during the drive down to the Loop for an arbitration (insurance co. filed a subrogation suit because the insurer of the guy who hit Bob's car a couple of years ago refused to settle--even though it was just property dmg.). By the time the hearing ends and Bob drives down to work and I take the CTA back here, the rain should be over till tomorrow night.

IllinoisLady

When one begins to practice simplicity, the ego is deprived of the very strategy by which it sustains itself. Nothing will deflate the ego more effectively than to be recognized for what it is. It lives by pretension. It dies when the mask is torn away and the stark reality is exposed to the gaze of others. Simplicity also avails in braking the tyranny of things.Ostentation, artificiality, ornamentation, pretentious style, luxury—all require things. One requires few things to be one's self, one's age, and one's moral, intellectual, or spiritual stature. What one is does not depend upon what one has. -Albert E. Day

IllinoisLady

We have rain coming today ( partly I'm sure from yesterdays winds ) but I don't think it will be too much or bad. Another little squall tomorrow I think. I'm not complaining too much. We have started having beautiful sunny days and the temps are staying pretty nice and staying much higher during the night time hours so all is pretty good. My perm is old enough to get good and wet if I'm out and not hurt anything so I'm fairly okay. I don't like the gray that comes, but I'm a bit better if we have pretty green outside -- that gray looks much worse to me on bare limbs and no green bushy growth along the sides like we have now.

Lots to do today -- dh already has called twice with requests for me to drop off ( its on my way anyhow ) things he forgot to take to work. He lost his keys this morning and hunted all over before remembering he left them in his truck overnight. One of the BIG reasons we like where we live. You can make some 'mistakes' and it works out just fine. I've done the same thing two or three times. Of course, we also have dogs who will alert without much having to go on out of doors -- even though they themselves are inside. We are actually fortunate that we don't have anything more than a puddle ( and none too close ) from the lake behind our property so no one walks along the lake edge around our property.

It will be a marvelous 82 today with a nice breeze. Oh my !!!! I hope you all have a truly nice one as well. Wow, Sandy.... !!! Not settling on damage -- odd. I hope that all turns out okay. Seems strange to me as well.

ChiSandy

Not surprisingly, we won the full award sued for (including our deductible and out-of-pocket). Also not surprisingly, the defendant's insurer will reject the award and insist on trial--at no expense to them because their attorney is part of their "captive law firm" which doesn't bill the insurance company which owns it--all their attorneys are on salary, and get paid the same no matter what. Those firms (and that one in particular) are notorious for never settling and never paying until they've exhausted appeals--they screw over their own policyholders too, by denying their own comprehensive claims. That way, they keep the premiums--and invest it--as long as (in)humanly possible.

But it was a nice warm (85 right now) day though rather windy. The elderly widower across the street is sitting on his front porch, smoking his daily stogie. As recently as Sunday he was bundled up, with a blanket across his lap and a mug of hot tea. Right now he's in a sport shirt, Bermudas and Birkenstocks, chugging water. It is a picture that is either poignant or one I will never be able to unsee.

Yesterday I got a couple of rude awakenings. I gathered up my old glasses (mostly the Zennis) to donate at the Lincolnwood Town Center LensCrafters, because Warby Parker won't replace progressives and Zenni won't replace lenses, period. I also brought my pricey Lauren shades to get one lens replaced. Well, the Lions Club donation bin was gone (they took them anyway), and there was no longer an on-site lab! So much for "glasses in one hour," or even same-day. 7-14 days is now the turnaround--same as ForEyes or even WarbyParker, but still expensive. And they refused to replace only one lens--and gave me the usual bait-and-switch spiel about a whole new pair being cheaper than replacing the lenses in a perfectly good frame. Went downstairs to VisionWorks, which does have a lab--but the opticians now go home at 5 (the store is open till 9:30). I showed them my glasses and they asked if they're polarized (geez, who buys prescription sunglasses that aren't?)--because if so, they'd have to order the lens blanks. WTF?

So it looks like I'll go back to the optician in W. Rogers Park--and now I know why his business is suddenly booming. He replaces individual lenses and his prices are reasonable. Most LensCrafters stores have ditched their onsite labs. Online eyeglass vendors (Zenni, Warby--even though it has stores, Glasses.com, FramesDirect, etc.) can now fill prescriptions just as fast and more cheaply (in the case of Zenni, much more cheaply). I figure if I have to wait for my glasses I'll go where I get the most bang for my buck. Even my ophthalmologist's optical shop (down on the S. Side near Bob's office) is now cheaper than LensCrafters (though sort of slow).

Second rude awakening: the mall is dying. It was too easy to park close-in. A third of the stores are vacant. 2/3 of the food court eateries have closed. Only one nail shop--and it was stone empty. Lots of cheap schlocky accessory kiosks (bad costume jewelry, vinyl handbags, etc.), three independent cell phone/accessory stores, two baseball cap/trucker hat shops and three athletic shoe stores that sell mostly basketball shoes. Used to have two dueling bookstores--now none. The restrooms are closed for remodeling. Carson Pirie Scott (one of the two anchor stores) is going out of business and the clothes are all disorganized with no sales help. Even the frozen yogurt stand is down to just plain chocolate & vanilla. E-tail the culprit again? The only improvement is a branch of the locally-owned excellent 90 Miles Cuban Cafe--and it's the only reason to visit the mall now.

I also notice the shopper demographic has changed--few from its surrounding moderately affluent suburb/city-line neighborhoods seem to shop there. Perhaps only those who have no other convenient choice (three CTA bus lines, including one from the Red Line terminal, serve it) shop there--those who can afford to drive are going either up to Old Orchard or Northbrook Court or down to 900 N. Michigan or Water Tower Place, with more upscale stores. Even the Kohl's (the other anchor, which replaced JC Penney) seems to be deserted compared to TJ Maxx or Marshalls that are not transit-accessible. I've seen "white flight" in city neighborhoods in NYC & Chicago all my life, but now it seems to be a "thing" at brick-and-mortar retail. (This is the third Chicago area mall I've seen this happen to in the past 20 years--wonder if it's happening at Kings Plaza in Brooklyn, which is adjacent to a very affluent part of Mill Basin but on two major bus lines).

carolehalston

It got hot today, up in the 80's. We have the a/c on and the windows and doors closed. I played golf at 9 am and finished about 1 pm. I was not dripping with perspiration, which means the humidity still is bearable.

Aside from cleaning up the kitchen and making a trip to the supermarket, I haven't accomplished a heck of a lot this afternoon. I did load some clothes into the washing machine.

Interesting commentary on the shopping mall. There is one old-fashioned mall near the city of Slidell that is becoming a ghost town. It does have a Dillard's still in operation. That's an upscale clothing store that may just be in the south.

ChiSandy

I still have several tops I bought in 2005 at Dillard's in Boca Raton Town Center (same ownership as Lincolnwood, but much more upscale all around).

Wren44

They are talking about "upgrading" our Northgate Mall to be more like University Village. UV was a cute little shopping center with hardware, stationery, good drug store, little garden center, etc. Now it has an Amazon Book Store, Anthropologie, Chicos, fancy cooking store, Eileen Fisher and I defy you to buy anything useful there. They are driving us to shop online whether we want to or not. The current Northgate Mall has Penney's, Macy's, Nordstrom, a real bookstore and a food court. I really don't want to have to order sox and panties online and clothing I can't try on. You can probably guess I don't have Amazon Prime or any desire to get it. Wow! Sorry for the rant.

I don't want to start sewing again, but I may be driven to it. They had Dillards in Oklahoma City and I would shop there when visiting. Nice store.

ChiSandy

I remember when Northgate was mostly outdoor (albeit open-sided but with a roof over a central path) and U. Village (my main stomping grounds) anchored by a Rhodes midscale dept. store and the QFC supermarket--pricier than Safeway or A&P, but with wonderful produce, meats & fish. The first Starbucks outside Pike Place Mkt. was there--and did not sell coffee drinks, just beans, teas, chocolates, supplies and coffeemaking accessories. The Pay'n'Save drugstore was where I shopped (though the Bartel's on Univ. Way was closer). For hardware, Ernst Malmo. There was a lovely little wine shop too. I guess the tech boom crossed the lake and the NE side of the city became even more affluent than it was when I lived in the U. Dist. (Is that cooking store Sur La Table or Williams-Sonoma? Suspect the former, as it was founded near Pike Place Mkt.). I also used to go all the way down to Southcenter when it was the only enclosed mall in the area. (Long commute? Sure--but I drove from Seattle to S. Tacome for law school 5 days a week--6 days when I was a 1L. And premium gas was 50 cents a gallon). I later practiced in Bellevue, and sometimes hung out at Bellevue Sq. though Crossroads was closer to my office.

I just bought some Bombas socks online. Pricy, but they donate a pair for every pair sold. Bob reports his feet don't sweat in their merino wool socks. Their Peds-type socks stay up when every other brand I've tried fall down. As for clothing, I know what at Chico's, Magellan's and TravelSmith will or won't fit me and will or won't be flattering (though I'm nervous now that I can't seem to stop gaining abdominal weight); same thing with Old Navy. As long as returns are easy & postage-free I'm okay with it. (As for underwear, I keep 'em till they either fall apart or no longer fit. For panties, I go to whoever around here has my size the cheapest).

Wren44

The cooking place is local, called The Mrs Cooks. Stuff a lot like Sur la Table, which is still at the Pike Market. QFC is there and huge now. They have a fireplace and places to sit and eat or drink coffee. I really like the Smart Wool socks. I'm allergic to unbuffered wool. They wick the moisture and my feet stay dry. They're expensive but my 3yr old pair is still going strong. I usually wear holes in cotton socks in a year or less.

ChiSandy

I like SmartWool too--my local shoe store carries them. The Bombas "no show" footies are great--they really do stay up (unlike Peds or Hanes). Will see how the calf socks and the ankle/quarter socks fare in action--we're emerging from socks-all-the-time weather (we hope). Might test the "no-shows" at Midway tomorrow (though I'm TSA Pre, you never know when we have to remove shoes; and it's not sandal weather any more. Nice while it lasted, though).

carolehalston

I have a couple of pairs of the Smart Wool, but haven't worn them for at least a couple of years. We just don't have warm socks weather. I wear thin ankle socks with the athletic shoes I use for golf and thicker cotton ankle socks with my exercise shoes. In our coldest weather I might wear a thin pair of cotton socks with my house sandals (SAE).

Same with flannel sheets. We have no use for them. When we visited dh's cousin and his wife in Holland, MI, last November, there were flannel sheets on the single beds in the guest room. They felt wonderfully soft and cozy. They probably use flannel sheets all winter.

Wren44

We use flannel sheets all winter, along with our wool sox. I have 3 sets of winter sheets (flannel) and 2 of summer sheets. I'm going to look for a cotton blanket this year. The fuzzy ones are too hot in warmish weather and I do like having a blanket.

IllinoisLady

The ideals which have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Kindness, Beauty, and Truth. The trite subjects of human efforts, possessions, outward success, luxury have always seemed to me contemptible.
--Albert Einstein

IllinoisLady

Went 24 hours w/o Internet but back in business now. We are the last on the Charter line here so finding some of the issues ( since there is no one past us to report anything ) can take a little time. It seems there is maybe water in some of the lines -- so that will be fixed likely tomorrow. For tonight though we will get by all right.

Enjoying hearing about the wool socks. I didn't use socks this yr. although we did have some fairly cool weather thru the winter. I do like to keep my feet warm but the boots I have ( Bear Paws ) are quite warm inside and it is a snug fit, and often I didn't even put them on as I wasn't going to be out long enough to get my feet cold.

I do prefer regular blankets as well. I have one fuzzy lap throw which I sometimes drape over the spot where my feet will be in bed -- but I don't want it any farther up. The fuzzy stuff doesn't seem to breathe like blankets and when I've used the fuzzy ones I wake up sweating and I don't like that at all and that is in winter -- so I only toss it on my feet and keep the cotton blankets for the rest of me.

SoCalLisa

Speaking of wool. We had a fun event at our local museum. Back to back wool challenge, an international timed event starting with manually shearing the sheep , spinning the yarn and knitting a sweater.

ChiSandy

I’ve been a down comforter enthusiast for decades now. Bob sleeps with a regular weight duvet and cover, but I prefer a tropical weight down “blanket” year round—no duvet cover. Wool makes me itch. We both are pretty territorial about blankets, so he uses the king size that doubles as our spread and I use a twin.

I liked cotton socks until I began to get blisters if I did any amount of walking in them. Polypropylene or wool are the only kind I can tolerate these days

IllinoisLady

In a world in which we are exposed to more information, more options, more philosophies, more perspectives than ever before, in which we must choose the values by which we will live (rather than unquestioningly follow some tradition for no better reason than that our own parents did), we need to be willing to stand on our own judgment and trust our own intelligence—to look at the world through our own eyes—to chart our course and think through how to achieve the future we want, to commit ourselves to continuous questioning and learning—to be, in a word, self-responsible. -Nathaniel Branden

Anneb1149

tsp - I wanted to let you know about my experience with a urinary infection while under chemo. I felt really tired one afternoon, so went in to take a nap, I guess about 2:30 or so. Woke up after 7 which was much later than I’d ever napped, and came out of the bedroom, telling my daughter I needed to go to the ER. I have no idea why I said that because I had no symptoms. My daughter took me and when they took me back to an exam room, I started asking my daughter where my husband was. I became so insistent that he needed to be with me that she called her brother 3 hrs away about 4am. The nurse finally asked her where her dad was, and in tears, she said he had passed away the previous year. The nurse asked her for permission to give me a sedative, because I guess I was getting kind of billegerant at that point. Before the sedative knocked me out, my son arrived and I apparently hugged him and said “you’re finally here” and fell asleep. The only memory I have of that night is asking my daughter to take me to the ER, then my son arriving. I clearly knew it was my son, not my husband, but had no memory of asking for my husband or why I asked my daughter to take me to the ER.

I am finally feeling better, but still having horrendous coughing spells, more during the evening than any other time. Yesterday, I stopped all the OTC meds and have only one day left of steroids and antibiotics. My head feels like my head again, but each major coughing spasm ends with my nose blowing enough gunk to fill 2-3 tissues. I need to get rid if these coughing spasms so I can visit my granddaughters in SC. Not only would I scare them to death, coughing that bad, their mother is a serious germophobe and would have me staying in the garage.

I am really enjoying spring in GA. The air is so fresh and clean. Later today, I will be driving to campus to add a second car for emptying my DGS’s dorm room. He has completely his first year of college, and handled it very well. After we get his room cleared out, we are all heading to a Japanese restaurant to celebrate his 19th birthday.

Hope everyone is well and enjoying great weather

Anne

IllinoisLady

The hoarders, who are anxiously worried about losing
something, are, psychologically speaking, the poor
impoverished people, regardless of how much they have.
Whoever is capable of giving of themselves is rich.

Erich Fromm

IllinoisLady

Great morning here so far. Cool for now but mid 70's later on. I'll water the new grass later since I skipped yesterday with all the rain from the previous day. We have some more bare spots to work on along with some general clean-up Dh doesn't get a lot done and I can't really blame him. He works a lot and at his age a day off is needed where you do next to nothing.

Still waiting for the carpenter to take down the old t.v. tower. I think we finally have our Charter lines in good shape. What a hassle. The guy who came out needed to change some of the wiring under the house -- hmmm, he got under there and the second time encountered two ( one quite long and one shorter ) black snakes. He wouldn't go back under. I can't say I totally blame him at all. I don't care for snakes and I think it would be really off-putting to be in a confined space ( like under a house where you have to mainly back out ) with one or more. Black snakes are good ones, but if they are cornered they would bite. Guess I know now why my cats aren't on the prowl now and then in the house -- there are no mice looking to find a way inside right now. Still --- we will have to do what we can to discourage the snakes as now and then someone DOES have to go under the house for a number of things and I don't expect anyone to share the space with things that will bite them.

Anne, that story was amazing and I've heard of it before. I had a reaction of a sorts one time to some narcotic pain medication. Don't recall which one. I was in a third floor hospital room and could see myself walking over to the window to jump out. I didn't do it obviously, but the thought was not distressful in any way -- I could have been thinking about taking a walk in a warm rain or something. That was NOT the kind of thinking that EVER occurred to me, ever. When I told the nurse the med was stopped immediately. Sure hope those coughing spells get tired of hanging around and go elsewhere.

Hope you all have a great Sunday.

ChiSandy

Having a nicetime in Boston, but for my worrying over whether my left wrist will be in guitar-playing condition by Friday (gig in Madison). Lovely day here today (after hot & sticky yesterday, followed by storms as soon as we returned from dinner last night), and I decided to set out for the T to Downtown Crossing to pick up the Freedom Trail. Bummed out a bit about missing the Chicago Pen Show (I am a longtime fountain pen collector), so I headed over to Bromfield Pen Shop, where I bought my first-ever vintage pen way back in 1992 (a Waterman 54 red ripple hard rubber, lever-fill). Arrived at the station and asked one of the MBTA “ambassadors" which staircase led to Washington St. and the shop. He led me up the staircase and I felt searing pain in my right hip, radiating almost to my knee. My old nemesis, the bursitis that plagued me through the spring of 2015 ever since straining my glutes shoveling snow and slogging through an 18" blizzard the next day, seems to have returned in exactly the same place. Not a fracture or hip arthritis, because the manipulations that would confirm it don't hurt. Briefly considering cabbing it over to the MGH walk-in clinic tomorrow (supposed to rain, so it'll be an “indoor day") for an ultrasound & cortisone shot—Medicare will pay for it—but will wait till the Skokie ortho clinic can do it, since they have my records. But I will look for yet another cane (left mine home because I haven't needed it to get through Midway or Logan).

One of my gel nail enhancements fell off in the taxi yesterday (been gluing it down because it began peeling up after rummaging through bags while packing). After fruitlessly trying to fake it with Sally Hansen no-light gel polish (French manicure), I gave up and hit the nail salon in Copley Place. Not replacing the whole set, as I have a mani-pedi this Wed. morning

Better turn in—Bob has to be up at 6 because his course starts at 7:30 tomorrow (technically, since we just finished watching SNL, this morning). Once I get my cane I will explore more of the Pru Center mall—Eataly for lunch.

carolehalston

Sandy, bummer about the hip pain.

DH has decided that we should get some yard work done this morning. Not my plan for my Sunday morning but there are two large azalea beds that still need pruning. I'll need to whack the wisteria bushes on either side of the entrance of the driveway before we leave for the summer. The whacking just inspires them to grow.

I'm making the mental adjustment to going north. It's starting to seem good to have a change of scene.

For several weeks I've been easing off my dose of Effexor (75 mg), taking it every other day. I seem to be doing ok with the lesser amount. I seem to have more energy and incentive to do what needs to be done but I'm not certain this is a cause and effect situation. It could be empowerment from going back to WW and losing weight. It could be the change of seasons.

I started Effexor when I had to go off hormones cold turkey. It helped with the SEs of menopause and the SEs of arimidex. It also changed my personality, for the better, according to some family members! I was always a little anxious and very motivated to keep up my yard and house. After Effexor got into my system, yard and house could take care of themselves. Of course, age figures in, too.

Hope everyone has a great day.

IllinoisLady

Strength is a capacity for endurance. One of the dividends of suffering is the universal discovery the we possess a strength within us we never knew we had. Navigating through a difficult episode not only shows us that inner strength is there but convinces us it will always be there to serve us in the future. Overcoming gives us an assurance of personal confidence and value that far exceeds what we thought we possessed before our struggles began.

Dennis Wholey

IllinoisLady

Carole, sometimes you make sense in such a delightful way. You know, about the Effexor. Actually, I'm sure it helps the whole nervous system ( thinking heart stress ) when things can be calmed down. I went off my hormones ever so slowly --- but I have to admit it got downright annoying to PLOD along when I wanted FREEDOM. Then ( you so often hear things well after the fact ) later I began to hear about so many of the se's of hormones. I started taking mine at a time when ( hopefully anyway ) your Dr. knew you so well that he only told you what SEEMED might be your issues if you had any. So, blamed hormones on my stroke and maybe even cancer. Who really knows.

Since I do believe that we are set up on this Earth to learn and often that is thru negative circumstances -- sometimes I try to focus more on the over-coming side than to spend too much time on the who and why and then why me of things.

Sandy, I'm sorry to hear about the hip issues return as well. It's always something as Gilda Radner so often said -- and she was so right. We are never bored because we are complacent. Complacency doesn't last -- at least not for long.

Hope you will have a bountiful, beautiful day.

IllinoisLady

Attention to detail is the secret of success in every sphere of life, and little kindnesses, little acts of consideration, little appreciations, little confidences,. . . . they are all that are needed to keep the friendship sweet. -Hugh Black

IllinoisLady

Another gorgeous day here. Warm enough to enjoy but not so much that you sweat. I took my bed all apart --- washed the bed rails, headboard and polished it, the bed skirt and all the bed clothes got rewashed, underneath the bed while it was apart which I do anyway, but easier if the whole bed is down --- so I'm feeling good about getting some things done that go begging too often.

I hope you are all having a really fine day as well.

carolehalston

I attended my WW meeting this morning and was glad that I did. I was down another lb. for a total of 7.2 lbs. Hope to edge down another 2 lbs during the two weeks before we head north to MN. That would bring me down to 165.

The rest of the day I was busy sewing. I probably mentioned that I have been making placemats to sell at flea markets in MN. DH has a large assortment of hand turned bowls that he will be offering for sale. I'm very happy with the placemats. I also have some of the crocheted and knitted dish cloths that I made last summer. I offer my hand-made items at a reasonable price for their quality. If people buy them, that's fine. If they don't, I keep the items.

Tonight we're going to dinner at a nearby restaurant with our next door neighbors. They're a decade younger and we always enjoy talking to them but don't get together with them often.

Wren44

Carole, Good thinking on your handwork. I had a friend who made clothes to sell at street fairs - all in her size.

SoCalLisa

Beaches...loving this for two days..

IllinoisLady

Character is the product of daily, hourly actions, words and thoughts: daily forgiveness, unselfishness, kindnesses, sympathies, charities, sacrifices for the good of others, struggles against temptation, submissiveness under trial. It is these, like the blinding colors in a picture, or the blending notes of music, which constitute the person. -John MacDuff