Starting Chemo May 2008

MsKarin

Kristy I love your idea. Now as what to get for the children, let's think through a child's mind and Randie's. It should be something they need or want and family couldn't afford to buy for them. Something that they would love. After all it is too help brighten their day through this difficult time.

otter

I am going to butt in here and say something even though I don't have an alternative to offer and I can't volunteer for duty because we're traveling.  I hope hope hope no one takes offense.

I am just not sure about the idea of buying gifts for each of ranD's children that the family would not have been able to afford.  We don't know the children.  IMHO, it would be really difficult to find something that would fit each child's desires and personality. 

Think about the presents your great aunt gave you for the holidays:  she was really sweet; the thought was what was important; and the gift was nice; ... but it badly missed the mark.  You wrote her a thank-you note, but quietly put the box in the closet.

I don't want to imagine one of ranD's kids opening up a box from us several weeks from now, and 1) not having a clue why
 we picked that particular gift; 2) not knowing who sent it, and needing an explanation from a sympathetic adult, and/or 3) having the arrival of that gift open up wounds that were barely beginning to heal. 

I am trying to place myself in the position of one of those kids, and I keep coming up with those outcomes.  Wouldn't that gift always remind that child of the loss of his/her mom, and of her struggle with cancer? Or, maybe not.  I have not lost a parent yet.  I did lose a beloved grandmother when I was 10 or so, and I'm trying to imagine what would have helped me then.

Maybe I am thinking on the fly.  A classmate of mine (or, more likely, her mom) sent me an African violet as a gift when my grandma died.  That was, oh, ... maybe 45 years ago.  I still have that violet (or its offspring).  It is my most treasured houseplant. Maybe I've just refuted my previous argument about bad memories... 

Roxi, do you think ranD hated flowers, as well as the color pink? Am I interpreting that correctly?  I was imagining a bouquet of flowers--roses, or rosebuds--19 of them in one color, and a single rose of a different, beautiful color.  Or is that weird?

I do like the idea of sending notes or note cards from each of us, bundled together.  At least, I like it at the moment.  I am still very confused and saddened by all this. 

otter

sueper13

Otter,

I love the idea about the roses....that is perfect. And I think money for the family, in whatever amount we happen to come up with, is a gift that is easy to find a use for.  If we could get some idea of how much we are talking here I would be glad to be the one who makes it happen.  Ideas?

Roxi65229

Well, the only reason I assumed she didn't like flowers is because when we sent flowers for her hospital procedure, she only mentioned that she received them when I asked if she got them. She said they were pretty and was trying to take a picture for all of us to see. I think she liked them but again, I think Randie liked the simple things in life...

Otter, your bouquet sounds lovely though. Do we know if she was involved with a church? I usually have masses said for my relatives on important days.

Here's some information I just located from the funeral home.

http://7042.dignity.mem.com/Story.aspx?ID=3086067 

Roxi65229

I called the funeral home and no arrangements have been made yet. There is a spot to sign the guest book.

KristyAnn

Randie and I had several talks/emails about our Christian faith but I dont know what church she was involved in - I will try to find out.

My idea on the money gift was that everyone could give as they desired or were able and by putting it together into a collective gift, it would probably be a substantial amount of money and would represent the group without anyone feeling pressure to give a certain amount.

Maybe instead of kids gifts we could include a gift card for a restaurant or something for them to enjoy together.

I like to idea of the boquet with the 19 one color and 1 of another color- maybe just not pink!

Kristy

MsKarin

Otter oh wise one again your there with your wisdom. I was worried about the closet aspect but never gave thought to the association point of it. If something for the kids is still in the picture then how about Regal Movie Gift Cards. What kid doesn't want to go to the movies? The bouquet sounds wonderful and no not wired. I too had envisioned that.

As for how much we are talking here, we are all in different situations. As for me I can definitely do $100.00 plus what ever the rose would be.

Colors, yellow with one white?

MsKarin

The bright, sunny color of yellow roses evokes a feeling of warmth and happiness. The warm feelings associated with the yellow rose are often akin to those shared with a true friend. As such, the yellow rose is an ideal symbol for joy and friendship.

White roses represent innocence and purity and are traditionally associated with marriages and new beginnings. The white rose is also a symbol of honor and reverence, and white rose arrangements are often used as an expression of remembrance.

JulieC

This is so hard to know what to do.  I like the idea of the flowers with one being a different color and like Sue said, the money could always be used.  I would give any amount needed.  The family could just use it and not have to worry about what they used it for.

I've asked my girls who are 10 and 13 to put their thinking caps on, but haven't had any ideas yet.  One time one of my co-worker's ex-dh passed away and she had 2 sons.  We sent a cookie bouquet to them.  It was more of a "thinking of you" gesture and not meant to be a remembrance kind of thing.  We could try something like that in a few weeks - just to do something nice to show that we care about them.

That's all I have right now, but will keep thinking.

ellenoire

I'll sit down with my flower books tonight.. and think about colours.. I like the roses with one a diff colour.

Tomorrow is Bath bomb day and I will be making ones for everyone I know who has died... my friend died on July 4th 3 years ago and she helped me create my business and the recipe for the bath bombs. I will make one for RanD. The idea was in my head before she died. 

 more later. I am going to garden for a bit. xoN

Sable

Otter you must have been on the same wavelength I was last night. I thought of the flowers done that way as well. 19 red roses and one white in the center. Funny how we are thinking the same thing.

ewesterman

Am checking in from Montreal...I am with Otter on the gift for kid wavelength. I like the following -- flowers of any sort but pink for the memorial service. A donation to bc.org in Randie's name and a giftcard of some sort for the family but save that one for a few weeks from now. When we send that, we can send individual messages which I am happy to collect and put together and send with a giftcard -- or straight cash. I will do whatever you all want. Count me in for anything,  and I am not good at artsy stuff, but could gather notes/cards/thoughts from one and all and put together. One more thing I was thinking and this may seem weird, but I DO think someone (and I can do this, but not now) should go back and find some of the Randie-isms that were great and copy those off (provided it doesn't hurt anyone's privacy...not the personal stuff but the pink stuff for sure and the part where Randie talks about how much she loves her family and so on...and we can send that along as well....just a thought. Hope you are all doing okay. I am being pushed out the door by my family. Love you.

robink

http://www.teleflora.com/flowercolors.asp

http://www.proflowers.com/flowerguide/rosemeanings/default.aspx?linklocation=NavBar

I like the idea of 19 yellow/1white roses.  We don't know for sure Randie disliked flowers.  The idea is to bring comfort to her family - the knowledge that Randie touched the lives of people they don't know would help them.

...just spoke with teleflora...take a look at this basket

http://www.teleflora.com/funeral-flowers/sympathy-flower-arrangement/basket-of-light-34905p.asp

they can make it so the spray of roses has 19 yellow, 1 white.  the larkspur and the carnations add simple beauty.  The rep said the premium price would cover this request.

We can send it to Randie's home or the funeral home.  I am happy to place this order but would like directions on what is to be place on the card.

Love - Robin K

robink

Note cards sent as a bundle...yes

Randie-ism's...yes

Money for the family to use as they see fit...yes

I will send the flowers if you direct me to what the card should read.  And where should I send them ...to Randies home or the funeral home?

The flowers should go out soon, then the personal cards/notes send together later.

RK

drcrisc

I agree with all of it, notecards and money/giftcard for later, Randie-ism's (great idea!) and flowers for now. 

I did things today, but not with any spunk.  Everything was slow, like walking through mud.  However, only my friend at lunch seemed to notice that I was off.  I told her about Randie. 

drcrisc

I agree with all of it, notecards and money/giftcard for later, Randie-ism's (great idea!) and flowers for now. 

I did things today, but not with any spunk.  Everything was slow, like walking through mud.  However, only my friend at lunch seemed to notice that I was off.  I told her about Randie. 

drcrisc

Robin - that looks nice.  However, I am at a loss for words right now.

drcrisc

Eddie - If it's legal (and I don't know if we need it "okayed"), I'd like to help you find the Randie-isms.  I was just looking through a bit and found some doosies - like the one about Rock's "crush" being a saltine.  Priceless.

robink

A song I find appropriate today to honor Randie...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEk4e75l26I

Praise the God she loved and worshipped that she is truly free!

Happy Independence Day dear friends.  Be happy and find something to laugh about today.

otter

I favor all those latest ideas:  19+1 flowers in yellow+white and/or as per Robin's suggestion, ASAP; the bundled note cards; the gift card(s) to arrive later (the movie gift card is a great idea).  Even the ranD-isms, if we can do it tastefully and without violating any BCO regs.

I am with you all on this.  Right now I am scurrying to get ready tfor a July 4th event (must leave in 15 minutes, haven't even dressed yet or packed the picnic goods).

Love you all!

otter 

MsKarin

Woot woot......Sounds like a plan!

rock

I am on board with whatever you go for.

I just can't stop crying long enough to type a proper post.

I am so angry. I am trying to imagine that you guys are sitting on the couch next to me, sitting on the floor, leaning against the other couch.  You guys are wonderful.

I had started to look up Randie conversations the day I realised she had died. Remember our charm bracelet for chemo side effects? She proposed a cowboy w/ chaps  (she had genital ulcers around the same time I had the bleeding 'roids).  

LorenaB

Dear May '08 friends, I just popped on for a moment and thought I would check out your "home" thread for the first time in a while -- and came across the sad, sad news.  I am so sorry. I didn't know Randie nearly as well as you all, but I have tears in my eyes anyway, mostly thinking about the children she has left behind.

Nothing else to say, just sad.

Lauren

Gracie713

I am one board too. Just let me know where to send  money.  (Have paypal, but not sure at the moment what the balance is.)

Trying to keep my mind occupied, but it isn't working very well.  Been looking at Randie's pics on FB, thinking that it is so unfair.  

I am sitting there with you Rock--remembering that when I was in the hospital in April that Randie posted that I would at least get out of cooking Easter dinner!  

Love and {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{BIG HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} to everyone!

Sable

I think all 3 ideas are perfect! What a smart group of ladies you are!!

Robin let us know how much our share is so we can get that out to you asap.

Eddie are you going to be the one that gathers the money and the cards? I bought a card to send out this week for the family and I am thinking of things to put in a nice letter for the next one. I may print off the graphic I made, and posted in here, to send with mine as well.

Cris its felt like walking thru mud here as well the past few days. I don't think I've gone more than a few minutes without thinking about her or talking about her. I do know she is with each of us now, holding our hand as we did hers and watching out for each of us.

I hope each of you know how much I love you.

JulieC

Happy 4th ladies,

I don't quite feel like celebrating.  We have rain today and some local towns have rescheduled their fireworks for tomorrow.  We have a celebration at our park, but will probably stay in. Katie likes the chalk-in competition, but you can't draw on wet pavement.  Last year her bc ribbon got her 3rd place in her age category.

I'm still willing to send whatever you need for Randie.  Can we find some of her "isms" by just looking at her posts here?  Her profile would have all of them from all the threads that she went to.

Rock -  I know you said you talked to her family.  Was it a peaceful death?  I've been so bothered by it.  But then again, you wouldn't want her just giving up.

My family needs your prayers.  My aunt had her surgery on Tuesday.  They removed about a foot of her colon and the tumor was the size of a tennis ball.  13 out 26 nodes were positive so they are staging her as a "D" on the Duke scale.  I haven't looked it up yet.  They do think she has some spots on her lungs.  She is supposed to go home today and will meet with oncs next week.  I know we aren't statistics, but the prognosis for that stage isn't very good. She is only 65 and wasn't having any kind of symptoms for either colon or lung problems.  Her doctor told her she has colon cancer but she isn't dying from colong cancer. That makes me feel a little better. Anyway her name is Carol and she is in the Cleveland area. Thanks so much.

Love to you all - Julie

robink

OK Ladies - I am going to take the liberty to order the arrangement I gave you the link for, with specifications of 19 yellow and one white rose.

The card will read "Randie - we are honored to have been blessed with your friendship.  With love from your bco.org friends...(I will list all of our first names)

Unless I get corrections/objections/additions to the note for the card I will call teleflora this afternoon.  The flowers will be delivered to Randies home.

Love to you all

Sable

Thank you robin!

edit: ohhhhhh robin is it the basket of light that you ordered? That is gorgeous! Good taste :O)

MsKarin

or how about May'08 friends @ BC.org?

rock

I like that, Robin. THough, I'd probably prefer that it said "May 2008" rather than bco.org. I am not sure how I'd feel having my family find my posts on these threads after I died . . . though I guess since I'd be dead it wouldn't really matter.